24
I
stood in the doorway of a classroom as the remainder of the students trickled out. In typical fashion, there were always some stragglers lingering behind to speak with the professor. I’d been here for fifteen minutes, and from the minute I’d laid eyes on Grace Bilodeau I’d been trying to figure out what to say.
Claude was right that she wasn’t exactly what I’d been expecting.
Grace sat in a sport-style wheelchair. Her black curly hair was piled on top of her head like a mountain about to avalanche. Her frame was small, but she looked to have a long torso. She spoke to her students in an animated fashion that had her arms flying around as though they were sentient beings of their own. She looked glorious.
The last student finally left and Grace caught sight of me. “I’m sorry, this class is full and I can’t accept any more transfers.”
I blinked. “Oh, I’m not a student.”
She rolled her chair with ease around her desk at the front of the room, collecting her things. “I’m sorry. How may I help you?”
In all of my musings on the way over here, I hadn’t come up with a good way to introduce myself. I stepped into the room and locked my hands behind my back. “Umm, this is a bit awkward. My name is Glenna O’Donald. You’re Professor Bilodeau?”
“I am.” She stopped moving and motioned for me to have a seat. “This is my last class of the day, but I believe there is a study group that meets here in thirty minutes.”
“I don’t think this will take long.” I sat down in the desk and gave myself a moment to collect my thoughts. “I’m a friend of Eric’s.”
She looked at me, her gaze narrowing slightly. “How is he doing?”
“Until yesterday I would have said great.”
“What happened yesterday?”
“I got fired. He’s blaming himself.”
“Ah.” I could tell from the look on her face that she wasn’t even a little surprised.
“He broke up with me. Told me that this was history repeating itself and that he didn’t want to do to me what he did to you. Except he never told me what happened between you. I don’t mean to pry, but I’m not willing to give him up without a fight and I can’t fight what I don’t understand. I was hoping you could help me with that.”
“So he talked about me?” She ran her hand along the seat of her wheelchair. “I’m surprised.”
“Not really. He mentioned you, but he didn’t say much. I didn’t want to push, so I didn’t ask more.”
Grace looked at me again, and I couldn’t help but feel I was being assessed for my worthiness. “Tell me what happened.”
It was strange giving her the details of the last few weeks of my life. There were many things I could have left out, but the last thing I wanted was for her to call me out for lying and not help.
“So my friend, whom I love, but is a complete jackass at times, took the opportunity to kiss me in front of Eric. Her girlfriend saw and happily informed my boss about everything. The next thing I know, I’m being let go and Eric dumps me saying it was all his fault for me doing something that was out of character.”
Grace actually laughed. “It’s nice to know some things never change. Eric was always a bit of a martyr. That’s actually the reason I broke up with him.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “May I ask what happened?”
“You were honest with me, so the least I can do is repay the favor. I’m eight years older than Eric. We met when he first started working here and hit it off. He was quiet, still feeling his way around the world of academia and I’d offered to help. One thing led to another and we started sleeping together.”
There wasn’t any reason to be jealous of Grace. Her relationship with Eric was well in the past, and she clearly had no interest in getting back with him. Still, I had to squash the evil part of myself that wanted to hiss at her. Shit, I was a child at times.
She turned her attention to the back of the classroom. “We were together for over a year. The sex was great, but it didn’t take long to realize that we were at different stages in our lives. I knew he wanted to eventually have children, buy a house, get a dog. I didn’t want any of that. I prefer books to toys and you couldn’t pay me to have a pet. Just a little over two years ago I invited him out to supper and I broke up with him.”
She’d done to him what he’d done to me. I wondered if he’d even realized the similarity.
Grace sucked in a breath and shook herself out of the haze she’d slipped under. “We fought. Eric was adamant that we could work things out. We didn’t have to have children if I didn’t want. The dog wasn’t a must have, etcetera. I said no, I was done. I stormed out demanding he take me home. I could do that back then.” She patted the wheel.
“What happened?” A part of me didn’t want to hear the rest of the story, dreaded hearing my fears vocalized, but I knew I had no choice. I came here looking for answers and I wasn’t leaving until I had them all.
“We kept fighting. I should have let it go, but I knew he wouldn’t back down and once I get going, it’s hard for me to stop. We fought as he drove. It’s my fault that he wasn’t paying attention when the deer ran out in front of us. He swerved, but it was too late and we ended up over an embankment and hitting a tree. He was hurt quite badly with a nasty gash to his side. The impact left me paralyzed.”
Jesus. “I’m so sorry.”
“So was Eric. He blamed himself for what happened. Once I got out of the hospital he promised me that he’d look after me, that he’d make sure I never wanted for anything. I loved him for the offer, but I didn’t
love
him any longer. I couldn’t make him commit to me, paying eternal penance for something he wasn’t to blame for. So I was cruel to him. He ended up leaving the school.”
I sighed. “That explains so much. He didn’t socialize much at all last year. It was only in the past month that I even discovered he knew my name.”
“Typical. I bet he was brooding. He had that nailed before he left U of T.”
We shared a smile and all the jealousy I’d felt melted away. I liked this woman, admired her for what she’d gone through and come out the other side the stronger for. “So what should I do?”
“Go kick his ass. Tell him Grace said he was being a dick and to stop. He’s not evil incarnate. Bad things sometimes happen to good people. It’s what we do in the aftermath that’s key.”
I stood and held out my hand. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It gives me peace to know that Eric has found someone who will make him happy.”
“Do you think?”
“I have no doubt. I was surprised when he sent me a bouquet of flowers the other week. His note was simple. He said thank you, that I was right, and that he’d finally moved on. I suspected he’d finally met the right woman and I couldn’t have been happier.”
“Oh.” The flowers were a good-bye, that’s what he’d said. My heart fluttered and I jumped to my feet. “I better head out.”
“Go get him.”
I left the school with a plan. Poor Eric wasn’t going to know what hit him.
I didn’t put my plan into action immediately. There were things that I wanted to set up, arrangements to be made if I was going to make an impact. I talked to Jasmine after my meeting with Grace. It didn’t feel right sharing what I’d learned with her, especially how bad he still felt about everything. But I needed her help if my plan was going to work, and that meant convincing her that he was still worth the risk.
I shouldn’t have had any doubt that she’d be on board. I pulled my phone away from my ear when she squealed. “Oh my God, that’s a brilliant idea!”
“I know.” It took me the better part of a day and a half to come up with it. “So you’ll help?”
“Of course I will. Just because my love life has gone down the tubes doesn’t mean I want you to join me.”
“I’m so sorry about Nell.”
“Don’t be. This has been an issue for as long as we’d been together. I can’t be with someone who can’t trust me.” She cleared her throat. “Look, let’s focus on you, Super Vixen.”
“I should never have told you that.”
“Shut up. I need to know all your weird, kinky shit. Now, tell me what you need me to do.”
“Get a pen and an index card from the shelf under the printer.”
“Yup.”
“Okay, write
Day Twenty-one
. Today he’s out of the office at one thirty—”
“I love that you know his schedule—”
“But he locks his office so you’ll have to ask maintenance to open the door for you. Then just put it on his desk with the banana and leave the rest to me.”
“Dare I ask what the banana is for?”
“It would scar you for life.”
“Okay, not asking. You have to promise to tell me how this works out.”
“In all the gory details.”
“Go get him.”
I still had a few calls to make, but now that I’d gotten things started, I had a good feeling that things were going to work out for the best. All I had to do was to seduce Eric and convince him that history didn’t have to repeat itself. That we could have a relationship, maybe even a life together if things worked out. That he wasn’t to blame for my mistakes.
That I didn’t think what had happened was a mistake at all.
I was about to go in search of my red heels when my phone rang. It was probably a telemarketer, but I picked it up anyway.
“Is this Glenna O’Donald?”
“Yes.”
“My name is Dave Matterson. I heard you might be looking for a new position.”
I pulled the phone away from my head and stared at it for a moment. “How did you find that out? I haven’t even finished compiling my résumé.”
“We have a mutual friend. Eric Morris.”
I found it suddenly very hard to stand. “Yes we do.”
“I have an opening and I happened to be speaking to Eric about it. From what he’s told me about you, I think you might be an ideal candidate for the role. Do you have a moment to talk?”
It shouldn’t have surprised me that Eric had done something like this. He felt bad about what happened and would want to make reparations. That act, even though he tried to push me out of his life, made me love him all the more.
Now I just had to convince him that this—us—was worth fighting for.
25
I
was buzzing with excitement. The red dress was slinky and soft and hugged my body in all the right places. Sure, it had been a bit of a splurge, but I was happy and deserved it.
Jasmine had been amazing in getting the card and the banana onto his desk while he was out of the office. She’d even stuck around pretending to be working until he came back from class. She’d texted me the entire sequence of events.
He’s coming down the hall.
He’s unlocking his door and going inside.
He’s wearing that purple dress shirt that you like. No, the sleeves aren’t rolled up.
Oh!
He’s coming back into the hall. He’s holding the card and looking around.
Shit, he’s looking at me.
Sec.
That had been a painful five minutes of silence.
He came down and asked if I’d seen you. LOL he was carrying the banana.
This will rock! OMG you have to tell me how this turns out!
I had my fingers crossed that Jasmine’s prediction would come true. If nothing else, I was going to give it my all. I wouldn’t look back and wonder what might have been; I’d know one way or the other. No regrets.
Standing in the near empty banquet room in the top floor of the Reading Street Pub was intimidating. Yes, my card had the effect that I’d wanted—Eric called me. I didn’t answer, which was part of the plan. Instead I texted Claude, who put part two of my plan into play.
That involved Eric coming to the pub to meet me.
He was five minutes late.
Claude had guaranteed me that there was no chance we’d be interrupted once the food had been served. He’d even volunteered to take care of the menu and the wine selection for me and promised to serve us himself.
“Eric has been miserable for too long now. If you’re the woman who can make him happy again then I will help you no matter what.”
The table was covered with a variety of appetizers, and a bottle of champagne was chilling off to the side. The lights were turned down and Claude had even created some mood lighting that gave the open space a sense of wonder and magic.
Now, if Eric would just show up, everything would be perfect.
Ten minutes past the time Eric was supposed to show, I started to wonder if he’d backed out. That my plan, as clever and sexy as I thought it was, wouldn’t be enough to break past his fears. I couldn’t sit, and standing wasn’t something I could do when I wasn’t a bundle of nerves, so I paced. The reclaimed wooden floor echoed as I strolled along, my heels clicking in an offbeat to the music being piped into the room.
The sun had set not long ago, the sky still held the remnants of the pinks and oranges, but I could see that they wouldn’t last much longer. Soon it would be dark and the night would be in full swing.
“That’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.”
I turned at the sound of Eric’s voice, to see him standing there wearing a suit and tie. “You came.”
“I had to find out what this was for.” He held up the banana. “I honestly forget what Day Twenty-one was.”
All my tension bled away. I clasped my hands behind my back and came toward him.
“Wait. Stop.” He held up his hand. “This will sound cheesy, but could you spin around? I want to see you dancing in the light, wearing that dress.”
I grinned, giddy with excitement. Stretching my arms out to the side, I spun slowly at first, letting my momentum and the air catch my dress and flare it out like an opening flower. Then I kept going, simply enjoying the moment, the freedom. Great Glenna had always told me I needed to enjoy the time I had with the people I loved. If this wasn’t something to love, then nothing was.
I nearly lost my balance, stumbling briefly before Eric caught me in his arms. Laughing, I leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thanks.”
“You’re taller.”
“I am.”
“Another superpower you possess?”
“I’m in heels.”
“I’m going to stick with superpower. You seem to have many of them.” He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. “Like the ability to get me to come down here when I know it’s probably a terrible idea.”
The old me would have jumped in and told him that it wasn’t a bad idea, that we could make anything work if we put our minds to it. The new me knew that wasn’t exactly the case. He’d put the effort in with Grace and things hadn’t gone the way he wanted. I had to show him that we could make this work.
Taking a step back I captured his hand. “How about we sit and have something to eat?”
“How could I say no?”
Like he had in the past, Eric pulled my chair out for me, bending to kiss my bare shoulder as he did. “I love this dress.”
“Thank you. It was a gift to myself for getting a job interview.”
He hesitated behind me before taking the seat to my left. “Oh?”
“Yes. It seems your friend Mr. Matterson heard about my sudden unemployment from a little bird and wanted to have a chat with me.”
Eric lowered his chin to his chest, but it didn’t hide his smile. “I don’t want you to think that I didn’t believe in you, that you couldn’t get your own interviews. I’ve known Dave for a few years now. He’s been trying to get me to leave academia and come to the private sector since I moved back to Toronto.”
“Dave said as much to me when we talked. The more we chatted the more it became apparent that the job is something that I think I’ll enjoy.”
“Do you think you’ll accept it?” There was an eagerness to him that lit up his face. It was cute. “You don’t have to. Not on my account. I know you can find something else if you want it.”
The funny thing was the position—dealing with market research and analyzing the impact of social media—was basically my dream job. “He said based on my skills that I’d pretty much be the team lead. He would want me to build the team, hire my own staff, and run the direction of the projects. The salary was more than generous.”
Eric’s entire body relaxed back against the chair. “Good. I’m really pleased for you.”
“Well, he hasn’t officially offered me the job yet, and I haven’t officially accepted it, but yeah, I think things are going to work out.”
Claude cleared his throat as he came into the room. Without saying anything, he popped the cork on the champagne bottle and filled our flutes. “Your meals will be along shortly.”
Eric snorted and Claude flicked his ear on the way by. “I see the two of you are really mature.”
“Believe me, it gets worse when there’s wine involved.” He held up his flute. “To new beginnings.”
I took a sip of the champagne, enjoying the way the bubbles made my nose and throat tingle, before I reached beneath my napkin and removed the card I’d placed there earlier. I slid it across the table to him. It was upside down, so he had no way of knowing what was printed there. He’d have to flip it over.
He looked down at it, hesitating briefly before reaching to see. I placed my hand on his, stopping him. “Before you do that, I need to say something.”
His gaze met mine, and all of the confidence that I’d come to associate with him, all of the brooding, all of the strength, was gone. All I saw was a man scared. Whether he was scared to hope, scared to try, or scared to have history repeat itself, I couldn’t be sure.
My little speech suddenly felt as though it wouldn’t be enough. That he wouldn’t be able to accept what I needed him to so we could keep going. I curled my fingers around his hand and squeezed.
“I had a whole thing I was going to say. I was going to tease you, do a little sexy thing, and then when I had you where I wanted you I was going to tell you what my plan for the banana was. But I realized just now that despite how great the sex is between us, that’s the easy part. The things that I think you struggle with is the everyday part. I know I do. I never felt good enough to reach out and take. I didn’t do my PhD because I let Mickelson convince me that I wasn’t ready. I didn’t approach you before because I didn’t think I was in your league. I never tried because I was scared. I don’t want to be scared anymore.”
Eric turned his hand around and laced our fingers. “You don’t have to be.”
“I know. And I’m not. I took a chance. The worst thing imaginable happened, I lost my job. That position was everything to me. But getting fired made me realize something: The world didn’t end. I
am
stronger than that. I don’t know if I’ll take the position with Dave. Or if I take it, whether I’ll keep it. I know I have options. What I don’t want to do is find a replacement for you.”
“Glenna—”
“Let me finish. Please.”
He nodded.
“I talked to Grace.” When he tried to pull away, I held him firm. “I know you’ll probably be upset with me, but I needed to know. I needed to understand why you walked away from me. I thought everything had been going well and yes, losing my job sucked, but it wasn’t the end of the world.”
“It was to you. I ruined everything you’d worked for.”
I leaned down and kissed the back of his hand. “No you didn’t, and I think you know that. What happened to me isn’t the same as what happened to Grace. But regardless, neither of those incidents were your fault.”
“I was the one driving.”
“And she said she was the one arguing. That the accident was more her fault for distracting you in the first place.”
“No.”
“Yes. She also told me that you wanted to take care of her afterward. Even though she’d broken up with you. I could tell when I spoke to her that she cared for you, but she knew the two of you wouldn’t have worked. She wanted you to live your life and be happy.”
“I know.” He spoke softly. “Even when we were happy I knew in the back of my head things wouldn’t last long-term. I wanted it to, hoped it would, but it didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was the reason I left U of T and came to work at the college. I knew I had to move on, and to do that I needed to be away from her. Seeing her day after day was slowly eating me alive. Even if I didn’t love her any longer, it was too painful to see her that way.”
“If it’s any consolation, she looked great. Happy.”
“Good.” He leaned back but didn’t release my hand. “So am I going to be able to see what this is or not?”
“Yes, but I need to say one last thing before you do.” Okay, this was it, the moment that I’d worked myself up to. The moment that would either make or break tonight. “I know we haven’t been doing this whole thing for long, but I’ve been drawn to you for a while. Spending time with you, getting to know the man behind the professor mask you wore made me realize something.”
“What?”
“That I have . . . feelings for you.”
“What kind of feeling?” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the inside of my wrist. “Glenna? What feelings?”
My skin tingled from his heated breath. My breasts ached to be touched, to be kissed by him. He continued to kiss up my arm, moving closer until he was on his knees by my chair. “Glenna?”
I sucked in a breath as my wish came true and he ran his fingertips across my erect nipple. “I think . . .”
“Yes?” He slid his hand up along my thigh.
“I think . . .”
He cupped the back of my head and nuzzled the side of my neck. “Yes?”
“That I might love you.”
He sucked in a small breath; the rush of air tickled my skin. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
When he pulled back and I could look into his eyes, my heart danced at the sparkle I saw reflected back to me. “Thank you.”
I didn’t need to ask him how he felt about me. We hadn’t ever been a proper couple. But I knew my own heart and I didn’t regret my words. Great Glenna had encouraged me to take a chance on life and love, and that’s what I’d done.
“You can turn the card over.” I finished my champagne and poured some more.
Eric shook his head but complied. “Day One. Tell him how you feel.”
“I thought it might be a good idea to start off on the right foot. Give ourselves a new beginning.”
“And this?” He took the card Jasmine had written from his pocket and put it on the table with the banana.
“Well, there was no sense in wasting a perfectly good sex card. Besides, that’s dessert.”
“Claude better hurry up and get supper here soon. I’m not sure I can wait very long.”
Despite our mutual impatience, we both managed to get through our meal. It turned out to be an extended form of foreplay. Claude would bring us a course, and the teasing would begin. I’d eat bits of bread using lots of teeth. Eric would pop an olive into his mouth, giving the end a tiny lick before devouring it. That had me squirming in my seat and wishing that I’d chosen to wear something other than the lace panties. I had no doubt that my pussy was damp enough to soak through the thin barrier.
“Is it time for dessert?” He picked up the banana. “Because I know I’m ready.”
Yeah, I was more than happy to move my plan along to phase two. “I think that’s an excellent idea.”
“Shall I bring this?” He picked up the banana as he stood. “I’d hate to leave a key element for us to complete Day Twenty-one.”
Rather than let him have all the fun, I took the banana and held on to it. “For safekeeping.”
As we came down the stairs, Claude was waiting for us. “I hope everything was to your satisfaction.”
“It was perfect.” Even in my heels, I had to get up on my tiptoes to kiss Claude’s cheek. “Thank you for everything.”
“If it means this asshole finally comes to his senses, then I’m more than happy to help. Oh and Eric”—Claude punched his shoulder—“don’t fuck up.”
“I won’t.”
Eric led me to his car. “If it doesn’t ruin your plans, I have a suggestion for where we continue the rest of our night.”