Authors: Jessica Miller
Tags: #romance, #new author, #adult, #contemporary, #new adult
When I got to my car I slammed the door and
ripped off my mask and wig, throwing them on the front seat
angrily. I untangled my hair from the knotted mess of my bun and
laid my head back against the seat closing my eyes. How could one
guy turn everything upside down? I hated feeling this way. I
reached into my bag to grab a smoke. I lit up and took a big drag.
When I rolled down the window, I spotted a man a few cars over. He
had his back to me, and was leaning up against his car, head back
slightly. I squinted to get better look. The slight wavy brown
hair, broad shoulders and bright colored shirt sparked something
inside me. I knew right away who it was. He didn’t leave after all.
He was still here.
I was just about to open my door when I saw
a girl stand up. She wiped off the corners of her mouth and smiled
wide at Reece. I blinked, not believing what I was seeing. A wave
of nausea crept up into my stomach. They were telling the truth.
Casper, my family, everyone knew but me. I couldn’t believe I was
so stupid. I felt like I was suffocating. I jumped out of the car,
my head spinning. I fell back against the car, bending forward and
trying to catch my breath. My chest felt tight, like I had a rubber
band tightening around my heart and if I didn’t release it, it
would snap and everything inside me would explode causing an
unfixable break. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t handle it. I
got back in my car, slamming the door, making Reece turn around.
His eyes looked terrified when he saw me. “Alex!” I heard him call
my name faintly in the distance. Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe my
eyes were playing tricks on me and I should let him explain. I
watched him hustle to zip his pants while the blonde pushed down
her skirt.
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from
crying as I struggled to get the keys in the ignition. I dropped
them on the floor. “Alex!” Reece pounded on the window.
“
Fuck off!”
“
Open the door Alex. I can
explain.”
In a blind flurry, I kicked the door open,
knocking Reece back into the next car. He didn’t dare get up. “I
defended you,” I said voice shaky. “My entire family tried to warn
me about you and I wouldn’t listen. I thought you were
different”
“
Alex, I am different.
Would you please just let me explain it’s not what you
think?”
“
You going to try and tell
me that I didn’t just see you getting your fucking dick sucked by
some whore!”
“
Yes I mean
no.”
“
Which is it Reece?” I
yelled, getting in his face.
“
It wasn’t what it looked
like. She came on to me. I was trying to let her down
easy.”
“
Before or after you’re
dick was in her mouth.”
“
Clearly you’re upset. So
how about we go back to my place and talk about this.”
All the craziness in my head started to
spring a leak and I laughed. I laughed so hard my side hurt. Reece
reached for me and I flinched. The laughter was gone, quickly
replaced with hatred. Clenching my fist at my side, I closed my
eyes and took a breath. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was cold
and felt so wrong. I opened my eyes, looking up. My arm was moving
before I could stop it. My fist connected with his nose, blood
squirting everywhere. He cried out in pain. I brought my knee to
his groin feeling satisfaction only a spurned woman could. He fell
to his knees.
I bent close to his ear. “It’s over. Don’t
call me. Don’t text me. And if I ever see your cheating bastard
face around here again I will cut your dick off with a dull razor.”
I got in my car and took off. I just wanted to be alone.
The tears poured down my face all the way
home, making it difficult to drive. I contemplated pulling over
several times but I just wanted to get home. The second I turned
off the engine my phone beeped. Fear of it being Reece, I went to
turn it off when it begun to vibrate in my hand. It was Jaxson. I
didn’t want to answer it. I couldn’t answer it knowing I would have
to tell them they were right and I was a fool. I hit ignore and
tossed the phone on my seat. Needing to pull myself together, I
took a few breaths. My phone buzzed again. It was Jaxson, again. I
knew if I didn’t pick up he would keep calling.
“
Hello,” I said softly,
trying not to cry.
“
Alex, what’s
wrong?”
“
Nothing,” I said, biting
my tongue.
“
Alex.” I didn’t answer
him. I could feel the tears creeping over and I knew if I opened my
mouth my voice would betray me. “Alex, talk to me.” I couldn’t.
“Alex?” A waterfall poured down my face. I couldn’t keep it in. The
pain inside was too much to bear. “Don’t move. I’ll be there in
five minutes.” Jaxson hung up on me and I dropped the phone back on
the seat. Then I buried my face in my hands and balled.
Jaxson offered me no pity and no ‘I told you
so’. Instead he just let me cry on his shoulder. He also promised
he wouldn’t tell anyone and when I was ready to tell everyone he
would make sure Jasper wasn’t a dick about it. I knew it wouldn’t
take long for all them to find out. I was more embarrassed than I
was upset.
Thanksgiving break was over and I couldn’t
wait to throw myself into my school work to distract me. Declan let
me be, knowing I needed time. I confessed all the dirty details
when I couldn’t stop crying at Thanksgiving dinner. Jasper
surprisingly stayed quiet during the whole ordeal which was more
nerve racking than anything. To make matters worse, Casper was at
the bar every night I worked and every night he went home with a
different woman. I didn’t know if he knew about Reece and me yet,
but it wouldn’t surprise me if he did. I let it eat at me until
there was nothing left. I snapped at the customers causing Gus to
threaten me several times that he would fire me if I couldn’t
control my crazy outbursts. By the end of the week my paycheck was
gone due to the fact that Gus had to give away free drinks to make
up for the rude service. He took the free drinks out of my pay and
warned me if it happened again I would be fired.
“
What the hell is going on
with you?” Declan asked, pulling me aside.
“
Nothing,” I said grouchy.
My eyes darted to the annoying redhead laughing obnoxiously over at
the table with Casper. Declan looked over her shoulder and then
rolled her eyes at me.
“
Alex, you can’t get mad
every time Casper takes a girl home. You didn’t want him,
remember?”
“
I still
don’t.”
“
Yeah, okay. Maybe if you
didn’t have your head so far up your stubborn ass you would admit
you like him.” I glared at her. “I know you’re upset about Reece
and I’m sorry you had to find out the way you
did
,
but the best
way to get over that is to move on. And I know the perfect person
to help you with that.” She gestured in Capser’s direction. “You’re
both fucking miserable and driving Colton and I nuts because
neither of you can admit you like each other.”
“
He really looks like he’s
suffering.” I glared at them from the dark corner Declan had pulled
me into. “Besides, it was one night. You don’t fall in love with
someone after one night.” She raised her brows. “You know what I
mean.”
“
Maybe you should explain
it to me?” Her gloating smile made me want to shove her on her
ass.
“
Look, Casper can go home
with whoever he wants.” I walked away not wanting to have this
conversation. Ever since I dumped the cheating
bastard
,
Declan
has been trying to push me to start talking to Casper again. I
wasn’t ready. He tried to warn me about Reece but I wouldn’t listen
and on top of that I destroyed our friendship in the
process.
I wanted so badly to run over to him and
kiss him. I wanted him to touch me the way he did when we made
love. I wanted…him. I should just go over there and tell him. He
was over at one of the tables, shooting pool. I watched him
concentrate on his next shot. He wasn’t his usual drunken self. I
think the most he had to drink tonight was three or four beers and
I wondered what was wrong. As if he knew I was thinking about him
he looked up, his eyes meeting mine. I crumbled under his stare. My
legs were shaking and my heart was melting.
“
Casper!” someone shouted,
bringing me back to reality. I shook my head and tried to
concentrate on work.
I gazed at the clock. It was only half past
twelve and the night was dragging. I wanted nothing more than to
just crash in my bed and sleep for days. Declan nudged me to let me
know there was a customer. I turned around to take their order and
I froze. Damn it. She did this on purpose. “Hey,” he said, leaning
his elbows on the bar.
“
Hey,” I replied. “Can I
get you something?”
“
Just a beer,” he said,
flashing his cocky smile, indicating it was more than that. I
refilled his glass and slid the mug in his direction. When he
reached for it, his fingers brushed mine and I felt a sudden rush.
His eyes darted down to where our fingers touched; a drop of sweat
from the glass hit my finger. I pulled back. Casper sighed, but
didn’t walk away. “How was your thanksgiving?” he asked.
“
Are you fucking serious?”
I snapped. “You gonna gloat that you were right and now rub it in
my face? You’re a real fucking piece of work.”
“
Alex, no, that’s not what
I meant.” He stood up, hand stretched out. I backed up. I couldn’t
take it anymore. Too many emotions were swirling in my. I felt
dizzy. My chest tightened and I couldn’t breathe.
“Alex…”
“
I can’t do this right
now.” I found Declan. “Tell Gus I wasn’t feeling well and went
home.”
Her eyes showed worry. “Are you okay?”
“
No and I need to get out
of here.” I grabbed my things, walking out the door. I practically
ran out of the club.
“
Alex!” Casper shouted
after me. He followed me outside and grabbed my arm before I
stumbled.
“
Don’t touch me!” I
yelled, pushing him back. Not backing down, he took a step forward.
He enveloped me in his arms, trapping me in the storm that was
brewing in his eyes and before I could stop him his lips crushed
mine. The air was sucked out of my lungs and everything inside was
screaming like crazy. I couldn’t handle it and pushed him away.
“What the hell is wrong with you Casper? You can’t just kiss me
like that.”
“
I know and I’m sorry, it
just happened.”
I gave him a disgusted look. “That doesn’t
just happen. We’re supposed to be friends Casper. You don’t go
around kissing your friends.”
He scrubbed his hands down his face. “When
are you going to get it that we are not friends Alex, we never
were.”
I took a step back as if he slapped me.
“Then what would you call it?”
“
You don’t get it do
you?”
“
Get what Cas? One minute
you kiss me and then the next you say we’re not friends. You’re
right I don’t get it. Could you please explain it to
me?”
He growled frustrated. “I want you…Alex.” I
sucked in a breath not believing what I just heard. “Only you.”
“
I…Cas…I –” I was
speechless.
“
I know you feel something
for me too.” I shook my head even though my heart would disagree.
“You’re going to stand there and tell me you feel nothing?” I
opened my mouth but no sound came out. I couldn’t deny it. That one
simple kiss I felt so many things that I couldn’t even describe it.
Casper lunged forward and swept me up into his arms so fast I
didn’t have time to react. When his lips hit mine I lost all my
breath. This time I didn’t have the strength to pull away, I didn’t
want to.
Everything that happened next was a blur. I
didn’t even remember how I got there, but I was in Casper’s house
and I was pulling him to his bedroom. Our clothes where flying
everywhere. We couldn’t seem to get them off fast enough. I pushed
Casper down on the bed and climbed on top of him. His lips pressed
hard against mine as his hand slid up my side sending shivers
through my entire body. I let out a small gasp as his other hand
tangled itself in my hair. He pulled me down on top of him and I
could feel how badly he wanted me. He took his arm and wrapped it
tightly around my waist and then rolled me over so he was on top.
“Always have to be in control, don’t you,” he teased. I smiled,
gripped his behind, and gave one hard pull. He let out a grunt and
I had to stifle my laugh. He smiled at me wickedly before his lips
found mine again. He kissed me long and hard, he kissed me until I
couldn’t take any more. I started to pull down his boxers, but he
gripped my hands and pinned them above my head.
“
Alex, stop.” His face got
serious and I looked at him concerned. “Just let me…let me lead.” I
nodded my head. He let go but still kept one hand holding my wrists
together above my head while the other traveled across my shoulder,
breast and stomach. The caress of his fingertips against my skin
was making me shake. He stopped at my belly button, circling it
before pressing tender kisses all the way up to my chest. He
kissed, sucked and nibbled on my neck. I whimpered. I never ached
for someone’s touch as badly as I had his.
Casper took his time. He was in no rush. I
tried to pull my hands away, but he just squeezed them tighter. The
sad part was that all it did was turn me on even more. With his
free hand, he slipped under my bra and cupped my breast, rubbing a
thumb lightly over the nipple, sending me into a tizzy. One handed
he unhooked my bra and tossed it to the floor. Needing two hands,
he slowly released my wrist, dragging a finger delicately down my
arm making me quiver. His hand cupped, tickled, and tantalized my
breast while his tongue flicked lightly over my sensitive nipples
sending me into tiny orgasmic fits. Every nip, bite and caress was
like torture, but I never wanted it to stop. He pressed a soft kiss
in between my breast. His fingers traced the outlines of my tattoo
as his lips traveled down my stomach, his tongue flicking out with
each gentle kiss. He skimmed his lips across the top of my
underwear before he gently tugged them off.