A Beautiful Funeral: A Novel (Maddox Brothers Book 5) (30 page)

“Stay out of the street,” Thomas said to his identical younger brothers.

The twins’ toy fire engines were flying four feet above the sidewalk two blocks from our house, intermittently crashing into each other without spinning out of control into space. Trenton’s tiny hand was in mine as he waddled next to me, his diaper crinkling as he walked, even under corduroy pants and pajama leggings. He was bundled up like an Eskimo baby, his nose and cheeks red from the icy wind. Thomas herded the twins back to the center of the sidewalk, shoving Taylor’s knit cap down over his ears.

I zipped up my coat, shivering under three layers, wondering how Diane was so happily dragging me along by the hand in just a stretched-out sweater and acid-wash maternity jeans. Her puffy nose was red, but she insisted she was on the brink of sweating.

“It’s just the next street!” she said, encouraging the boys not to stop in front of us.

“Trenton, I can’t see you when you’re just below me, so if you stop in front of Mommy, we’ll both go down with the ship,” she said, shooing him with her hands. “There!” she said, pointing at a long driveway. “Thirty-seven hundred! Can you believe it?”

A practically new conversion van sat with a For Sale sign in the front windshield; its red paint barely visible under three feet of snow.

I gulped. Our current van that barely fit our family of six still wasn’t paid off. “It looks new. Are you sure that’s the right price?”

She clapped her hands. “I know! It’s like Heaven just plopped it right in front of us!”

Her perfect smile and the deep dimple in her left cheek melted me every time, making it impossible to tell her anything but yes. “Well, let’s get their number, and I’ll make an appointment to take it for a test drive.”

Diane clapped her hands once, holding them at her chest. “Really?”

I shook my head once. “If it’s what you want.”

She jumped, and then held her belly, looking down. “See? Didn’t I tell you? Everything is going to be all right, little T.”

“Mommy,” Trenton said, tugging on her jeans.

Diane slowly maneuvered her body to kneel, always sure to get eye-level with whichever son wanted her attention. Trenton was holding her index finger, and she lifted it to her mouth, kissing his pudgy hand. “Yes, sir?”

“I like the car.”

“You like the car?” she asked. She looked up at me. “Hear that, Daddy? Trenton wants the car.”

“Then we have to get the car,” I said, shrugging.

Trenton and Diane flashed matching smiles with matching dimples.

“Did you hear that?” she squealed. “Daddy’s going to get you the car! Good choice, Trenton!”

Trenton threw his arms around his mom’s neck and squeezed. “Love you, Mommy.”

“And I love you.” Diane pressed a wet kiss on Trenton’s cherub cheek, and he wiped it off, although he was more than happy to get a kiss from his mother. She was a goddess in their eyes, capable of anything. I spent the majority of every day trying my damnedest to deserve her.

I helped her stand, watching her lean, a bit off balance.

“Easy.” I gently took her chin between my thumb and index finger. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

She winked. “Keep saying yes and you’ll never have to find out.”

The boys hugged one another, and after some discussion, Travis stepped forward. He gripped each side of the podium, looking down. It took him a long time to speak. Even from behind, I could see Abby cover her mouth, hurting for both of them. My youngest son clenched his teeth, and then his eyes scanned the crowd.

“I’ve thought about what I would say. I really … I don’t know what to say because there are no words for this. None. Thomas is right. You always made us feel loved, Dad. Even the times when we were unlovable. Taylor and Tyler are right. You were the strongest of us. You always made us feel safe. And like Trent said … you spoke about Mom so often that I can’t help but be happy that you’re finally with her again. You wanted that more than life, but you loved us enough to stick around for as long as you did, and I’m so thankful for that. Some people thought you were a fool for holding onto someone who was never coming back, but you knew different. You knew you would be the one going back to her. I …” He sighed. “My brothers have told me stories about the other kids saying they wished they had our parents. If I could choose to do it all over again or have different parents for the rest of my life, I would choose you. I would choose her. Just so I could spend the time with you that I had.” A single tear fell, and he sniffed once. “I would, and there are no words for how much that means to me. There are no words for how beautiful your love was, and that it had an effect on your children long after Mom died. The love you showed us will stay with us long after today.”

My brows pulled together, and I shifted uncomfortably in the chair stationed beside my wife’s hospital bed that we’d bought the same day we called hospice. Diane was holding Travis in both arms, tubing coming from her hand, hugging him for the last time. She held her tears until Thomas took him out into the hall.

She covered her mouth, and her tired, sunken eyes looked at me for answers I didn’t have. “He won’t remember me,” she whispered with a ragged voice. Her body had been worn by chemo and radiation, her scarf covering her bald head. She had fought hard for as long as she could, only saying enough when the doctors said she only had a few more days with the boys.

“He’ll remember you. I won’t let him forget.”

Her bottom lip trembled, and she covered her eyes, nodding. “I’m so sorry.”

I took her hand and pressed my lips against her bony knuckles. “You have nothing to be sorry for, my love. You did everything you could.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m afraid.”

“You can be afraid. I’ll hold you ‘til it’s over.”

“I don’t want it to be over.”

“I know,” I said. I crawled into bed next to her, letting her lay her head on my chest. She settled in. It took everything I had to stay strong for her. She had been strong for the boys and me all these years. I owed her that.

Diane nodded her head, and with tears streaming down her face, she rested her cheek on my chest. “I love you, Diane. I love you. I love you. I love you.” I held my wife until her breathing evened out and then touched my cheek to her forehead when more time passed between breaths. “I love you,” I whispered. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

When she exhaled for the last time, I watched the nurse, Becky, check Diane’s pulse by the wrist and then use the stethoscope. Becky pulled the earpieces from her ears and offered an apologetic smile. “She’s gone, Jim.”

I sucked in a breath and wailed. I knew my sons were just outside the door, but I’d never felt so much pain in my life, and I wasn’t strong enough to hold it in. I held Diane’s face gently in my hands and kissed her cheek. “I love you.” I kissed her again, my tears wetting her face. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” I buried my face in her neck and sobbed.

Travis stepped back from the podium, and the boys hugged one another before walking off the stage in a line led by Thomas. The song Diane and I danced to at our wedding played as the boys filled the empty seats next to their wives. Trenton leaned over, his entire body shaking. Camille and Taylor both touched his back. Camille whispered in his ear, and he leaned his head against her chin.

Part of me wanted to stay, to watch over them and guide them, but something too strong to ignore was pulling me back; something I hadn’t been able to ignore over four decades before. A delicate hand touched my shoulder, and I turned, seeing my beloved wife’s face. She sat next to me and took my hands in hers.

My eyes glossed over. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

She watched the pastor speak for a few moments and then turned to me, a peaceful smile on her face and tears in her eyes. “Ditto.”

“I did my best.”

I interlaced my fingers in hers, and she squeezed my hand. “You were perfect. I knew you could do it.”

I lifted her hand to my lips and closed my eyes. A peace came over me that I hadn’t felt since before she’d died. She stood up, pulling me toward the double doors in the back of the auditorium.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” she said, reaching behind her. She pushed the door, wearing the smile I’d fallen in love with, walking backward. She looked the way she had before she got sick; the happy, tough-as-nails, stunningly beautiful woman I remembered. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, just as I couldn’t then. I’d missed shamelessly staring at her, but I glanced over my shoulder one last time at my sons.

Diane hugged my arm and rested her head against my shoulder. “They’re going to be fine.”

“I know.”

I kissed her temple, and we continued through the doors. Our past was now and now was in the past. Just as she’d promised, we were together again, in a moment of no sickness or pain—only love. And when love was real, so was forever.

THE END.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A Beautiful Funeral is probably the most difficult book I’ve had to write. It was more than just emotional, it was keeping the various family members and timelines straight, along with incorporating all of their careers and personalities. So many people contributed to helping me make this book what it is.

Jessica Landers is the admin for the MacPack, a McGuire fan group on Facebook. Not only does she keep it interesting, positive, and fun for everyone, but she also helped me in research for each character and the timelines, and stepped up when I needed a temporary assistant. Thank you for everything you do, Jess, but most of all for being a trusted friend for more than two years. People have come and gone, but you’ve remained. Ride or die, girlfriend.

Thank you to Michelle Chu for beta reading a very early version of A Beautiful Funeral and asking questions I know all the diehard fans would want answered.

Thank you to Nina Moore for taking time to make incredible teasers and graphics for marketing. You do an incredible job and I am so thankful for you!

The packaging of a book is very important to me, and I knew that the cover had to be exceptionally beautiful to offset the anxiety of the title. Hang Le provided the “quiet beauty” I asked for in the most perfect way. Thank you, Hang, for making an amazing cover that made everyone gasp as much as the title—hard to do.

Thank you to Ben Creech and Fiona Lorne for helping with the firefighting information, and thank you to Georgia Cates for helping with obstetric /preemie info.

A big thanks to Fiona Lorne, Jenny Sims, and Pam Huff for answering my call for help, and for jumping in to edit this novel when I experienced scheduling conflicts. Thank you to Jovana Shirley for editing the description on-the-spot, and for formatting.

Thank you to my agent Kevan Lyon for sticking with me through a particularly rocky first year back to self-publishing. The bright side is that our many conversations provided a quick and dirty introduction, and you are one of the most patient and professional women in the business! Another thanks to my foreign agent Taryn Fagerness for all of her hard work this year as well.

Thank you to my husband and children for always forgiving me when I work too much or too late, and sleep in too long.

Thanks to author Andrea Joan for keeping me sane while writing this novel, for being a loyal, trusted friend, a wise consultant, confident, and comedian. I’m not sure when it happened, but you are one of my very best friends, and I treasure you.

A special thanks to my personal assistant Deanna Pyles and family. Not only was Deanna a cheerleader and beta read this novel numerous times in its many forms, she kept me hydrated and fed while I edited this novel. She also moved her family sixteen hours away from the place they were all born and raised to help my husband and I grow our businesses. That’s love, and I love you for being so brave and trusting.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JAMIE MCGUIRE
was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She attended Northern Oklahoma College, the University of Central Oklahoma, and Autry Technology Center where she graduated with a degree in Radiography.

Jamie paved the way for the New Adult genre with the international bestseller
 
Beautiful Disaster
. Her follow-up novel, 
Walking Disaster
, debuted at #1 on the
 
New York Times
, 
USA Today
, and
 
Wall Street Journal
 bestseller lists. 
Beautiful Oblivion
, book one of the Maddox Brothers series, also topped the
 
New York Times
 bestseller list, debuting at #1. In 2015, books two and three of the Maddox Brothers series, 
Beautiful Redemption
 and
 
Beautiful Sacrifice
, respectively, also topped the
 
New York Times,
 
as well as a Beautiful series novella
, Something Beautiful
.
Beautiful Burn
, book four hit the New York Times in February 2016.

Novels also written by Jamie McGuire include: apocalyptic thriller and 2014 UtopYA Best Dystopian Book of the Year, 
Red Hill
; the Providence series, a young adult paranormal romance trilogy; 
Apolonia
, a dark sci-fi romance; and several novellas, including
 
A Beautiful Wedding, Among Monsters
, 
Happenstance: A Novella Series, 
and
 Sins of the Innocent.