A Blessing for Miriam (6 page)

“No, of course not!” Heat flared in her face, but she didn’t care.

“Then why?” Jonas probed. “Did some man turn down your attentions?”

Now she could feel her face getting flushed. Shirley gathered her wits together. “Maybe I don’t want to answer that.”

Jonas gave a dry laugh. “I think that’s my answer right there.”

“I didn’t like him anyway. Not like I like you.” Shirley almost regretted the words as soon as they escaped her mouth. She went on. “I was trying hard to fit in with what and how I was supposed to be, but nothing was working. I felt so out of place.”

“It sounds like you’re just finding your way like all of us have to do,” Jonas said wisely. “And I like the part about you not liking him the way you like me.”

“You shouldn’t have heard that.” Shirley looked away. “Pretend I didn’t say it, okay?”

Jonas laughed. “I don’t think so.”

Shirley didn’t move as his hand reached over and his fingers entwined with hers. Was this the start of a new chapter in their relationship? Or at least a return to what they used to have? Her heart pounded at the thought. On the one hand she wanted this badly—Jonas’s love and attention. On the other hand, if she kept on with this she would lose so much that she treasured—the Amish community, their satisfying way of life, and
Mamm
and
Daett
’s approval.

Jonas continued. “Let’s go to my house. I want you to talk to my parents.”

Shirley sat up straight. “About what?”

He smiled. “Call it a whim. Will you come?” Jonas squeezed her hand. “Please?”

Shirley’s laugh was strained before she said, “If you ask like that, how can I say no?”

He chuckled. “You do want to come, don’t you? I mean, we Beachys aren’t horrible people you must avoid. You must know that. If we were, why would you go out with me?”

“It’s my
rumspringa.
” Shirley grasped at her last straw.

Jonas raised his eyebrows. “Come on, Shirley. Let’s be honest. This is more than
rumspringa.
For me you’d consider leaving the Amish, wouldn’t you?”

Shirley drew in a sharp breath. “I have thought about that—in my daydreams, I guess. Especially since I came back from Oklahoma. But when I’m not daydreaming—when I’m facing reality—I don’t think it will ever happen.”

“Then let me do all I can to persuade you.” Jonas settled in as if he’d prepared a long speech. “I know there’s the issue of my church, but I hope to convince you that we’re a much better choice. All of us believe in the Bible and in following God’s will. Maybe not the same way the Amish do—or think they do—but we’re walking in the light we have, Shirley. I’ve been hoping I can take you to one of our worship services. I think you’d like it.” Jonas paused for breath.

Shirley reached over and touched his arm. “Okay. I’ll go to your house. But we’d better get moving before it gets too late.” Jonas’s face lit up, and Shirley knew she would’ve agreed to go long ago if he’d only kissed her again.

Chapter Six

T
wenty minutes later the immense Beachy home cut a stark profile against the starry heavens. Though she’d been here before, Shirley leaned forward for a better view as Jonas drove up the long driveway. She took a deep breath as he pulled to a stop in front of huge garage doors.
Mamm
and
Daett
wouldn’t approve of this visit, but they didn’t have to know. This was her
rumspringa
, and that was that!

“Here we are,” Jonas quipped as he hopped out of the car and came around to her side to open her door.

As she followed Jonas to the entryway, she tried to imagine living in a house like this. If she and Jonas continued their relationship, could it be that she’d live here—or in a house like this? Using her beauty was her only ticket to success, especially in this
Englisha
world. Did she want this life? The question throbbed inside her as Jonas held open the front door. The rich mahogany shone in the bright light from the ornate fixture perched high above them.

Jonas motioned with his hand. “You first.”

She
did
belong here! Shirley told herself. Jonas surely thought so. Her place of birth shouldn’t determine her station in life, should it?

The hall opened in front of her, and Shirley kept her step steady. The last thing she wanted now was to project insecurity. Thankfully she’d left her
kapp
in the convertible. She’d taken it off soon after Jonas picked her up. Her long hair was down. Shirley brushed lose strands from her forehead. The Amish dress she had on couldn’t be avoided, but at least she could fit in a bit better by letting her hair down. The Goodwill store in Berlin had lots of pretty
Englisha
dresses she would love to buy, but she didn’t have money for such things.

Jonas led the way through the kitchen. High ceilings arched above them. Shirley recalled the place as large, but this was even bigger than she’d remembered. She tried to calm the beating of her heart as they entered a massive living room. Shirley kept close to Jonas and pasted a bright smile on her face when he stopped in front of his parents.

“Mom, Dad, we thought we’d stop by.” Jonas glanced toward Shirley. “You remember Shirley Yoder?”

“Hi,” Shirley managed to squeak out. Her voice sounded shrill, but whose wouldn’t in such a situation?

“Of course we remember Shirley,” Jonas’s mom, Mary, said. His dad rose from his chair and added, “It’s good to see you again, Shirley.”

Jonas led Shirley to the couch where the two sat down.

“Jonas has been telling us all about you,” Mary continued with a warm smile. “You were gone for a while, and I think he missed you.”

“Mom!” Jonas said, his face and neck turning red.

“
Yah
.” Shirley kept her voice steady. “That was last fall. My sister Miriam and I left for Oklahoma to help with the birth of our aunt’s baby. We stayed a while, and then I came back when my newest sister, Anna, was born. Miriam is still in Oklahoma. She’s teaching school now.”

“Oh.” Mary appeared interested. “That’s a worthy endeavor. I once thought about teaching school, but it was not to be.”

Shirley smiled but she didn’t want to talk about Miriam. What would her sister think if she knew where she was right now? A shudder passed through her body.

“I’m sure Jonas has told you that Raymond and I were both raised Amish.” Mary glanced at her husband. “We try to remember our roots.”

“That we do.” Raymond nodded. “So, Shirley, are you going back to Oklahoma anytime soon?”

“I don’t think so.” Shirley clutched her hands on her lap. “
Mamm
keeps me busy around the house.”

The truth was that both of her parents would be overjoyed if she chose to return to her aunt’s house, but Shirley wasn’t about to say that.

“How is the spiritual life among the Oklahoma Amish?” Raymond asked.

Shirley wasn’t sure how to answer, but she got out some information. “Okay, I guess. They do some things differently out there than we do here. They frown at
rumspringa
, for one thing.”

Raymond chuckled. “That may be a good thing. Not much spiritual growth comes out of flirting with the world.”

Jonas muttered, “Dad, please.”

But Raymond didn’t hesitate. “Being Amish isn’t all that it’s cooked up to be, so I can understand people wanting to leave. But there’s a better way to do it than letting young people go wild and spend time in sin.”

“But
rumspringa
isn’t sinning, Raymond,” Mary spoke up. She patted her husband on the arm. “You remember that, Raymond, don’t you?”

“Most of it comes mighty close.” Raymond frowned. “Look at what goes on in our own community most weekend nights.”

Shirley swallowed with difficulty. Her voice might not work
well, but she had to speak up. “I’m not really on
rumspringa
the way most of our young people do it. I only go out with Jonas, which I hope isn’t sinning.”

“There you go, Raymond.” Mary’s smile was strained but triumphant. “Jonas knows what he’s doing.”

Solemn silence descended on the room and was deepened by the high ceilings.

“I hope so,” Raymond finally said. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Shirley, but this is a matter of principle for me. Even if some young people do
rumspringa
and dating right, many of them don’t.”

Jonas’s hand found hers, and Shirley didn’t pull it away.

Jonas stood, pulling gently, and Shirley followed. “We’re going to go upstairs. Come on, Shirley.”

Mary stood. “I’ll get some lemonade from the kitchen, Jonas. You can take it up with you if you want.”

Jonas looked like lemonade was the last thing he wanted at the moment, but he waited until his mother returned with a pitcher and two glasses. “Shall I make some popcorn for you?”

“Don’t bother, Mom.” Jonas took the pitcher with both hands. “We’ll be okay.”

Mary rushed on in spite of her son’s protest. “I’ll make some right away and bring it up. You make sure Shirley’s comfortable and that she feels welcome in our home. She’s a really nice girl.”

Jonas gave his mom a little smile.

Raymond nodded. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Shirley. I hope you know that.”

“It’s okay.” Shirley pulled herself out of her stupor and took the two glasses Jonas’s mom was holding. “It was nice to see you again.”

Mary gave her a cheery smile, and Shirley returned it. Neither Jonas nor his
mamm
were responsible for his
daett
’s comments. Likely they came from Raymond’s position as a preacher in his church. Weren’t preachers supposed to test all things to see if they were true? At least that’s what the Amish thought.

Jonas moved toward the grand staircase, and Shirley followed. Arriving on the second floor, he opened the door to his bedroom and set the pitcher of lemonade on the dresser. He turned to face her. “I’m sorry, Shirley. I had no idea my dad would grill you like that. I know you’re doing nothing wrong. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I’d known he’d say what he did.”

Shirley shrugged. “It’s okay. I know that not all of our young people behave themselves while on
rumspringa
. Your
daett
had a point.”

“It still wasn’t necessary to bring it up with you.” Jonas paced the floor.

“It’s okay…really.” Shirley took a seat on the bed. “I think this just confirms what we both already know. We come from two different worlds that don’t mix well.”

Jonas frowned and stopped pacing. He shut the door and then sat down next to Shirley. “My dad objects only to the
rumspringa
part. Would you consider changing that?” Jonas regarded Shirley with expectation.

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s consider the idea of you coming to our church. Dad would approve of that.”

“But…b-but…” Shirley’s voice caught. “But I’m not ready for that. And my parents…”

“Of course.” Jonas focused on the far wall. “It was just an idea. I do wish that you and I…” Jonas’s voice trailed off too. After a long pause, he went on. “I just want to know you more, Shirley. I want to see if…if we should be together. Since that first day I saw you in Berlin by your buggy I’ve known you’re the most beautiful girl I’ll ever meet.”

“Is that all?” Shirley hesitated. “Do you like me just because I’m
gut
looking?”

Jonas’s grin returned. “You are that—and so much more! There has to be some way we can make a go of things.”

A knock came on the door, and Mary entered without waiting for an invitation. Shirley liked that about Mary
.
It spoke of a sound relationship with her children, even though it might seem a little intrusive at times.

“Popcorn.” Mary set the brimming bowl on the dresser. Her gaze took in the empty glasses and the full pitcher of lemonade. Mary hesitated. “I hope you enjoy your stay this evening, Shirley. I know Jonas enjoys your company.”

Shirley smiled and said thank you.

Mary turned and left, closing the door.

Jonas jumped up and filled the lemonade glasses and popcorn bowls. He motioned for Shirley to follow him.

She stood and walked to the dresser. Picking up a bowl and a glass, she followed Jonas onto a balcony that overlooked the rolling lawn beside the house. She’d been here once before, and the sight still took her breath away. The great expanse of stars swept across the sky, and she could just make out the rolling hills extending into the distance. Jonas’s form filled her peripheral vision. They leaned against the rail and ate their popcorn in companionable silence. Jonas must have decided his effort to push a visit to his church wouldn’t succeed and had backed off. That’s wise of him, Shirley decided. After all, they were both young and had many years ahead of them.