A Blessing for Miriam (9 page)

Shirley clung to
Mamm
’s hand. She cried softly.

Mamm
stroked her daughter’s hair.

“
Mamm
, I don’t think I can handle looking…looking, well, looking not pretty. I don’t think I’ve been vain,
Mamm
, but looks were all I had
.
Will the Lord ask me to go through life ugly? Isn’t that too much to ask of any girl? And especially of me? I have no other redeeming qualities—not like Miriam. How will I find a boyfriend? And what about Jonas?” Shirley’s questions ended in racking sobs.

“Perhaps this will help develop character in you that has value in the Lord’s eyes.”

Mamm
meant to comfort, but her words didn’t.
Mamm
was on
Daett
’s side. What Shirley wanted was assurance that things would return to normal. She wanted to walk out of here the same Shirley she’d been when Jonas picked her up at home.

“The Lord knows what’s best,”
Mamm
comforted again.

Tears burned in Shirley’s eyes.

Chapter Nine

I
van looked up at the overcast, Saturday-morning sky as he walked in from his early morning chores. There would be rain soon—
yah
, and it fit his present gray mood just fine. It was his day off, and he’d looked forward to working outside in the sunshine. His job indoors at Beachy’s furniture had given him a pale complexion and made him weary in heart. Now it looked like he’d be in the barn all day—or the house. He wasn’t sure which was the right choice. Laura would have something for him to do if he stayed inside. She sure was grouchy with her morning sickness. That mood had been on full display last night when he’d returned home. So much so that he hadn’t talked much—and neither had she. He’d gone to bed without telling her about the accident.

Ivan pushed open the mud-room door of the small house and entered to kick off his boots. He stuck his head through the kitchen doorway and said a forced, “
Gut
morning.”

Laura stood at the stove and didn’t turn around. “You already said that.”

Ivan came all the way inside and grumbled, “There’s nothing wrong with two
gut
mornings, is there?”

Laura didn’t answer as she plopped the egg plate down on the table. “Breakfast is ready.”

“That’s
gut,
” he said as he sat down.

Laura glared at him. “Did you see the weather outside?”

He shrugged. “It’s going to rain, so I’ll work inside.”

Her face brightened a little. “Then maybe there is something
gut
about the morning. You can fix that shelf in the basement I’ll need for my summer canning. And you can add a few extra shelves while you’re at it. No woman has too many shelves for her canning.”

Ivan didn’t say anything as he stared at the plate with two eggs. “You know I like three eggs. There are only two. One for you and one for me.”

Laura’s face darkened again. “Three eggs aren’t
gut
for you.”

Ivan took a deep breath and held in his negativity. “At least there’s plenty of oatmeal.”

A smile played on Laura’s face. “You need to think of your health now that a
bobbli
is on its way.”

He choked back a response and bowed his head in silent prayer. Laura still had her head bowed when he lifted his.

She finally looked up. “You didn’t pray very long.”

Ivan pulled his one egg on his plate and avoided her gaze.

Laura still looked at him. “You need to pray our prayers out loud like my
daett
used to. I like to hear them at mealtimes and during devotions. With the
bobbli
coming, it’s something you need to do.” Laura touched his arm. “I thought I’d help, so I bought a prayer book. It’s on the desk in the living room.”

Ivan blinked. “I’m not ready for that yet. And some Amish men never pray aloud.”

Laura’s fingers tightened on his arm. “But you will, won’t you? I want our children to grow up like I did—with their
daett
’s voice leading out in spiritual matters. It’s important to me.”

Ivan didn’t look at her. Laura had said enough on the subject, and it was time to speak of something else. In the end he’d give in, but for now he’d put up a display of resistance.

“There was an accident on the way home last night,” he said.

Laura wasn’t distracted. “You shouldn’t change the subject just because you don’t like it.”

Ivan ignored her. “I think Shirley Yoder was with Jonas Beachy, and they wrecked on 39.”

“Eli Yoder’s daughter?” Laura leaned forward.

“
Yah
, I think so.”

“How bad was the accident?” The single egg still lay on Laura’s plate.

Ivan shrugged. “I’m not a doctor, but a deer went through the windshield. Shirley’s head and face looked cut up. There was a lot of blood.”

“And you didn’t tell me this last night when you got home?” Rebuke was in her voice.

“I had other things on my mind,” Ivan said. “You didn’t have much to say last night either, you know.”

“But this was your boss, Ivan. And Shirley is Miriam’s sister. She meant something to you…at one time, anyway.”

“Miriam Yoder means nothing to me now.”

Laura gave him a long glare before continuing. “Tell me about the accident. How did it happen?”

“Right after Jonas passed me, going pretty fast, a line of deer chose to cross 39. When Jonas saw the deer, he must have braked and swerved, but he still hit one.”

“If Shirley was hurt, it might bring Miriam home for a while,” Laura mused.

“Could be,” Ivan allowed.

A smile spread across Laura’s face. “This might be Esther’s chance to get Wayne. With Miriam gone for more than a week Esther could state her affections for Wayne without interference.”

His spoon stopped halfway to the sugar bowl. “The two of you are shameless.”

Laura giggled. “It worked for me, and I don’t see you complaining.” She glanced at the swell of her stomach. “You don’t have regrets, do you?”

Ivan didn’t hesitate. “Of course not. But still—”

“Then don’t complain,” she said, cutting him off. “Miriam’s not married to Wayne, and it’s probably her farm that’s drawing him into her net anyway. That girl couldn’t get a decent man to date her until she had bait to offer. I say Esther is doing Wayne a great favor. He’ll see it eventually, just like you did. And aren’t you glad, Ivan?”

“
Yah
, of course,” he repeated.

Laura reached for Ivan’s arm and squeezed it. “I’m glad you didn’t fall for Miriam’s farm. I do love you, and our child is a blessing from the Lord. How could it be otherwise? He won’t be tainted by the things of this world.”

He swallowed quickly. “Are you saying the
bobbli
’s a boy?”

Her face glowed. “I don’t know, Ivan. I’m just making my point that Esther is doing the right thing. We should help her where we can.”

Protest died in his throat. What could he say? She’d only turn his objections around somehow.

“I’m glad you agree with me.” Laura smiled as she pulled her hand back and started on her egg.

Ivan gulped the last of his oatmeal. Let Laura think she’d won the argument. He rose and walked to the kitchen window. Outside the clouds had opened up with a deluge. He would have to work in the basement on Laura’s shelves. He’d tinker in the barn after the rain had let up—if it ever did.

Laura’s voice called to him. “I’m finished eating and ready to give thanks again.”

He returned to the table and bowed his head. Silence filled the
room. How he’d ever get the words of prayer out of this mouth, he wasn’t sure. Maybe he should begin trying sooner rather than later. Postponement wouldn’t help, and Laura had purchased the prayer book. She was trying to help, and he should be grateful. He opened his mouth and managed to get a few words out. “Dear Lord in heaven, forgive us our sins and help us live righteous lives. Thank You for the food we’ve eaten, and Laura for her hard work in preparing it. Amen.” Ivan waited a long time before he lifted his head.

Laura appeared pleased as she led the way into the living room.

Ivan picked up the Bible on the desk before he joined Laura on the couch. Laura had wanted to place two hickory rockers in the living room right after the wedding, but he’d put his foot down. Rockers were for old people—or maybe for couples with children. With their child now on the way, he figured the rockers would soon appear. He’d cope, Ivan decided as he opened the Bible. He read from the marked place where he’d stopped yesterday morning—Ephesians, chapter five, verse six: “Let no man deceive you with vain words…” He listened to the sound of his own voice and glanced at Laura. She seemed to be listening as well. Why was he hesitant to speak aloud prayers to the Lord? Likely because it involved speech with the Almighty, Ivan told himself. That was something he needed to get over now that he was a married man and the head of his own household.

Ivan closed the Bible and reached for the prayer book Laura had purchased. Without a sideways glance at Laura, he knelt and waited for her to join him. Then he read the words of the first prayer: “Now he who without thanks and prayer, from morning sleep arises. And he who can forget God’s praises, how sorrowfully he begins the day…” Ivan continued until the end. It was a long prayer, and he said every word with care. He liked speaking prayer aloud, now that he’d begun. This was how things were supposed to be. He was the head of his family, and soon there would
be children. And Laura had led him to do this. He ought to thank the Lord especially for her. He had a wife who was not only beautiful, but spiritual enough to guide him to what he needed.

Ivan stood and closed the book.

Laura got up also and took his hand. “That was so
wunderbah
, Ivan. I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks for the encouragement,” he said quietly. “Now for your shelves.”

She glowed. “Make them strong, Ivan. Just like our home will be with the Lord’s help.”

He looked away. “
Yah
, I will.” Her praise was unwarranted. Laura deserved more credit than he did, but why say so? He’d savor this bright moment on this dark-and-dreary morning. Hopefully Miriam would be able to hold on to this Wayne Yutzy of hers. He wished her all of life’s happiness and joy. But he wasn’t about to mention that to Laura.

Chapter Ten

M
iriam listened as Wayne told the story at the kitchen table with great expression. “We were in the barn that evening for our chores, and Joy had this bunch of little kittens who were just beginning to stagger about. They’d already learned that we give them fresh milk during chore time, so they’re out waiting with their mother for their treat. Of course, they can’t sit still—and even more so with the sleepy spring flies buzzing around. At first they only snapped at them, but soon they got to swatting with their little paws, followed by tumbles over each other. Esther and Joy couldn’t stop giggling, and I had to join in myself. It was that funny.”

Miriam looked away from Wayne’s face as the story continued on. Wayne was here for lunch, and somehow the subject of kittens had come up. Wayne had jumped in with this story, but at the mention of Esther’s name, Miriam flinched. At least Esther had only been on the sidelines. Miriam tried to put the image of Esther and Wayne laughing over kittens out of her mind. There was no reason she should be jealous. She had vowed she wouldn’t be.