A Blessing for Miriam (8 page)

Ivan was back on the road, still shaken by the accident and considering if the passenger was Miriam’s sister. It was well known that Shirley was on her
rumspringa
. Ivan knew Eli Yoder wouldn’t take it well if his daughter had taken up with the likes of Jonas Beachy.

Chapter Eight

S
hirley clung to the side of the gurney as the ambulance sped through the night. She tried to move her head to glance at the attendant on one side of her, but she couldn’t.

“Hold still, dear,” a voice ordered above the chatter of a radio.

The pain from her head and face seemed to burn through her whole body. Shirley whimpered as the memory of the accident replayed in her mind. The line of deer seemed to appear suddenly on the road ahead of them. The next scene she remembered was a glimpse of brown coming over the hood and then a sudden explosion of white hitting her in the face, followed by a swerving motion she figured was Jonas slamming on the brakes and steering sideways. She vaguely remembered something hitting her head and face over and over, but she was so dazed that she wasn’t sure what had happened.

Shirley groaned. Why had this happened? Was this the Lord’s punishment on her? Shirley tried to move her hand up to her head, but it wouldn’t move.

A voice gently said, “No, ma’am. Don’t move. You’ve been in an accident and are hurt.”

Shirley already realized that, but how bad was she? She wanted to ask, but no words would come. Was she all right? She shivered as pain overwhelmed her again. She remembered seeing blood around her, and the truth crept in. Her head must be injured badly. The more she thought about, the surer she was. There had been a lot of blood. And her face hurt. Much more than superficial cuts and bruises would. She tried to shift on the gurney.

“Hold still, dear,” the voice ordered again. “I’ve given you something to dull the pain and help you relax. You’re in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”

Shirley tightened her fingers on the thin rail and allowed her mind to drift. A numbing haze seemed to be wafting around her. She felt the pain ease, but the the calm was punctured with another question. Have
Mamm
and
Daett
heard about the accident yet?
Daett
already had strong objections to her relationship with Jonas. Now he would have a lot to say when he learned she was in the hospital. And this ride in the ambulance would have to be paid by someone, to say nothing of doctor and hospital bills. They had no insurance, but perhaps Jonas did. But really, Jonas wasn’t responsible for deer ambling onto the road. How did people pay for things caused by accidents?

At least Jonas had held her hand while they waited for help. She’d noticed that he didn’t leave her side until she was loaded into the ambulance. Shirley groaned and felt someone squeeze her arm gently.

“We’re almost there. Please hold still.”

Noise chattered from somewhere above her head. This time she realized that information was being passed back and forth, probably via a radio. The attendant next to her leaned into her line of sight. “Shirley, your parents have been notified by the police. A state trooper will bring them to the hospital.”

Shirley held perfectly still. Was she supposed to be happy about this?
Mamm
and
Daett
’s presence wasn’t the most comforting thought right now. This night had turned into a nightmare—and after such a pleasant evening with Jonas. She tried to turn her head, but cried out from the increased pain.

“Dear!” The paramedic placed gentle hands on both sides of Shirley’s head. “You must hold still.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. Was there more to her injuries than she realized? What else would provoke such a vigilant reaction from the paramedic? What if the doctors couldn’t fix her up? What then?

She felt the ambulance slow as the siren wail ceased. Shirley breathed a sigh of relief. The awful ride was ending. They must have arrived at the hospital. She’d have some answers soon. What if her face would heal but she’d be scarred for life? Could she survive if her beauty was gone? Would anyone like her? Would Jonas still be interested? If she was scarred up, what man would want to stay around?

Shirley forced her mind to stop as the ambulance halted, the back doors opened, and paramedics rolled her gurney out of the ambulance. They went through some doors and bright lights assaulted her eyes. The rush of people talking and machines humming droned in her ears. Doors swished around her, and silence replaced the droning. The lights didn’t dim though. Soft voices spoke and kind faces peered down at her. Shirley began to tremble. Even
Mamm
and
Daett
would be a welcomed sight at the moment.

The ambulance paramedic appeared again by Shirley’s side and squeezed her hand. “Good luck, girl. You’re going into surgery now.”

Shirley could only nod her thanks, and the paramedic seemed to understand.

The gurney moved again, and Shirley noticed ceiling lights passing by. She closed her eyes.
Oh, please, God, let this end!
But
she realized this night was far from over. She was no longer in charge and might not be for a long time. Perhaps never again. Tears escaped her eyes, and then the gurney stopped, she felt pressure on her arms, and sleep came.

Shirley awakened in what seemed like moments later. All was quiet. Where was she? What had happened? She tried to focus. There’d been an accident. She’d been taken to the hospital. An awful ambulance ride. The swish of doors. Bright lights. And then…nothing.

Shirley shifted and realized she was on a bed.
Mamm
’s face appeared in front of her. “Don’t move, Shirley. Don’t move unless you have to.”

She was tired of being told to not move. “Tell me,
Mamm
. How bad is it?”

Mamm
didn’t answer right away. “You’re in what they call the recovery room. You’ve had surgery, and now you need to rest.”

“Who’s here?” Shirley tried to sit up, but
Mamm
pushed down gently on her shoulder.

Shirley had caught a brief glimpse of
Daett
seated on a chair beside her bed. He hadn’t said a word. His lecture would probably have to wait until they got home. But she wanted to get it over with right now, even though the world seemed to be swirling around dizzily.

When no one said anything more, Shirley whispered. “I’d rather be chewed out now rather than later,
Daett
. Let’s get the lecture over with.”

“No one’s chewing anyone out.”
Mamm
stroked her arm. “You need to sleep now.”

“
Daett
will have his say,” Shirley insisted. “I know you don’t approve of Jonas. But I couldn’t help myself.”

In the silence that followed, she sensed
Daett
rising and coming closer.

He spoke in hushed tones. “
Yah
, this is what comes from following the world, Shirley. How many times have I warned you on how the Lord looks at these things? We sow to the flesh, and we reap to the flesh. The Lord will not be mocked. If we disobey, He will stand by His word. You can be thankful this wasn’t a serious injury. You could have been lamed or blinded or even killed in such an accident.”

“Not serious?” Shirley whispered. Her hands reached up to touch her face and encountered bandages. “Unless I miss my guess, I’ll be scarred from this, won’t I?”

There was a brief silence before
Daett
said, “Life is not about how a person appears. This is another lesson you will do well to learn.”

Shirley ignored her
daett
and reached for
Mamm
’s hand. “How bad will the scars be? I know something happened to my face.”

“Hush now.”
Mamm
’s fingers tightened in hers. “The doctors aren’t saying much—at least the ones we’ve spoken with. They’ll be in soon. I’m sure they’ll tell us more. They may not know until the bandages can be removed.”

Daett
’s voice rose in volume. “Of all the things to think about at this moment, Shirley, it shouldn’t be your looks. What does that matter? Your soul is what’s important. Inward beauty transcends outer beauty. You should know that. ‘Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the L
ORD
, she shall be praised.’ ”
Daett
paused for a moment. “You should be thinking of repentance, Shirley. I believe this is a warning from the Lord. This is the result of lusting after
Englisha
cars and
Englisha
ways that are not right for our people. Humble yourself, Shirley, and seek forgiveness for the path you’ve taken these past few months.”

Tears stung Shirley’s eyes, and even
Mamm
’s hand in hers didn’t provide much comfort.
Daett
was right. She should repent. Only she
couldn’t. She couldn’t repent from the way she felt about Jonas. She couldn’t be like Miriam, which was really what
Daett
was wanting.

Daett
must have taken her silence as encouragement because he continued. “We love you, Shirley, your
mamm
and I. But we can’t approve of the way you’ve been conducting your life of late. And now when this warning from the Lord also knocks on your door, you must take it seriously. Open the door of your heart, Shirley. Let the Lord’s Spirit…”

“That’s enough now.”
Mamm
’s quiet voice stopped
Daett
’s. “Shirley must rest now.”

Shirley couldn’t see
Daett
’s face through her tears, but he must have agreed with
Mamm
because his form faded from sight. Her hand tightened on
Mamm
’s. “Tell me,
Mamm.
How bad is it?”

“I’m not sure.”
Mamm
hesitated. “There are bandages over most of your face. You were in surgery for a few hours.”

They both knew that meant it couldn’t be good.

Another question formed in Shirley’s mind. “Where’s Jonas? Is he all right?”

Mamm
glanced in
Daett
’s direction before she answered. “Jonas came in with his parents earlier while you were in surgery. He’s bruised and sore but all right. We asked them to leave.”

“It was best that way,”
Daett
spoke up. “That part of your life is over.”

“But it wasn’t Jonas’s fault,” Shirley choked out. “The deer ran across the road in front of the car. He couldn’t stop in time.”

Daett
didn’t look at all sympathetic. “We will stand with you, and we’re all the family you need.” He reached over to his hat sitting on a table. “I have errands. The cows must be tended to.
Mamm
will stay with you until you’re released.”

“How will you get home? I was told a trooper would bring you here.”

Daett
looked away. “Jonas had someone stay to take us home.
One of their church people, I think. They’ll drive
Mamm
and you home too.”

You won’t let me see Jonas?
Shirley managed to strangle the cry before it could be heard. Protests wouldn’t help right now.

Daett
stopped by Shirley’s bedside for a moment, but he didn’t say anything more.

Shirley decided she must appear properly contrite under the bandages. Perhaps she’d feel repentant eventually. If she was indeed permanently scarred, maybe she would be able to straighten up her life. Besides, if she was no longer
gut
looking, Jonas wouldn’t want a relationship with her.
Daett
was correct on that part. It was over.