A Changed Life (48 page)

If anyone were to ask me a week ago, if this is where I thought I would be, I don’t think I could have honestly answered. I didn’t know what to expect from Simon, and how he would welcome me back when I returned to California. Remembering the way I had made my presence known to him at the graduation, I’m lucky he didn’t pass out from the shock.

It was the total opposite of what could have happened…declaring his love for me in the most public way amazing. Our graduation will go down in history with Simon’s very open and honest speech. We reunited with each other in front of the graduating class, and all who were there to witness our very public display of affection. Simon’s speech was beautiful, and it was very respectful how he included Jennifer. She would have been with her class, graduating, and planning her future. She deserved to be remembered, and Simon’s touching tribute did just that.

The words we said to each other are forever sealed within my heart. Our first time making love was beyond anything I could have imagined. Simon held me in his arms, and promised me that this was truly my first time. What Michael did to me did not change my virgin status. I didn’t willingly give myself to him; he took it from me against my will. Loving Simon and trusting him with my heart and body erased Michael’s ugliness he had left on me.

I am so madly in love with Simon, and he simply amazes me. We have shared so much together. I will never forget how he took his time exploring my body, and being so gentle with me. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I was hoping not to disappoint him. He never allowed me to doubt myself. Simon’s love gave me confidence, and I didn’t need to hide from him. He wanted me to never be shy around him, and not to be afraid.

As much as he enjoyed loving my body, I was in awe of his. He is a work of art. He has lean muscle tone throughout his tall physique, and his stomach is lined with abdominal muscles. It ends with a perfect pelvic V. Simon belongs on the cover of a fitness magazine. This beautiful man is all mine and I think to myself,
“How did I get so lucky to have found him?”

I felt his presence before I heard his voice. I turned around to see my beautiful man standing in the doorway. My smile faded when he appeared to be worried about something.

I immediately walked into his arms, and placed my arms around his waist. “What’s wrong, Simon? Are you okay?” Simon cupped my face, and kissed me. Looking into my eyes, he asked me the same question. “Are
you
okay, Nicolette? I was worried when I couldn’t find you, and crazy thoughts ran wild through my head.”

“I am more than okay, honey. My world has turned right again, and I am so happy, and in love with you. I will never leave you again, and if I have to spend the rest of my life proving to that to you, I will.” Simon’s body instantly relaxed, as he put a death grip of a hug around me. Sometimes he doesn’t know his own strength so I tickled his side to loosen his hold he had around me. He pulled back, and gave me a good morning kiss that set me on fire and in all the right places. I held my knees together, my body can so easily respond to him. Simon is just dripping with passion, and he shows it to me with every touch. “Shower with me?” He asked in his sexy voice. “Absolutely” I whispered, as Simon walked us into the bathroom.

After our very hot and steamy shower, we sat on our deck, and drank our coffee. Simon had told me about the brunch he arranged while I was still sleeping.

How great was my guy? He had taken care of all the arrangements. “How do you think the parents will take our news?” I asked Simon.

“They probably have already figured it out by now. My mom after all, gave me Aunt Grace’s ring to present to you. I don’t want you to worry about anything, baby. Our families will be happy for us, and support our decision. You have already received your parents’ blessing, and it’s just a matter of time before we make it official, baby.”

“Simon, we do need to talk about another matter.”

“Not today, Nicolette. I don’t want to spoil the day by discussing anything heavy right now.” I reminded Simon about Switzerland, how I wasn’t ready to discuss it, but we did anyway. “Simon, if we openly discuss it now, it won’t ruin anything, I promise.” Simon grunted. He wasn’t happy about it, but he gave me his full attention.

“When I arrived back here in California, my main focus was getting back to you, but first I needed to take care of something before I did.”

“Which was?” he asked.

“I had a meeting with Mr. Jennings, the prosecutor assigned to my case.”

“You’re telling me this now?” Simon seemed perturbed at my news.

“Yes, I’m telling you now, because you need to know why I met with him.”

“I’m sorry Nicolette; I don’t mean to be harsh with you. I just got you back, and I’m still so afraid that this is a dream…one that I will wake from, and find you gone. I can’t go through that again, Nicolette, it will destroy me.” I immediately climbed right onto his lap, wrapping my arms around him, and telling Simon that my days of running were over, and pleading with him to believe me. He put his head on my chest, and calmed his breathing down. He did believe, and trust me, although he was still scared,
“How could he not be?”
I had put him through so much over the course of many months, and now I was the one that needed to patient and understanding.

“Please tell me what happened?” Simon was now calm, and wanting to know about my meeting.

“I met with Mr. Jennings, and requested a preliminary meeting with the judge, along with Michael’s lawyer, and my lawyer. I swallowed hard with the next revelation I was about to reveal to Simon. I also requested Michael be present at the meeting.” Simon ran his fingers through his hair, and rubbed his face.

“No way! Nicolette, I won’t allow this. It will be a cold day in hell before I let you go anywhere near that piece of shit!”

I got up off Simon’s lap, and walked over to the railing, looking out to the ocean for some kind of sign. I didn’t want to lose my temper with Simon, and I never liked being told what to do. No matter how much I loved Simon, it’s a control trigger for me. I will never hand that piece of myself over to anyone, not even Simon.

I calmly turned around to face him. Simon was angry, and withdrawn, and you could read it all over his beautiful face.

“Simon, please allow me to explain. We are less than two months away from going up against him in court. I am so scared to publicly put myself out there, and try to convince a jury that he did rape me. Michael, all along has claimed it was not rape, but consensual and rough sex. Simon, I can’t walk into that court room, and listen to his lawyer say that about me. It’s wrong, and I’m trying to stop it.”

“How are you planning to stop this Nicolette? Please tell me.” Simon was frustrated, but continued to listen to me.

“Do you remember Mr. Jennings being at my home, the night I left for Chicago?”

“How could I forget, Nicolette? It was the night you left me.”

“Simon, please don’t be this way. I need to tell you everything, and we can do without the sarcasm.”

“I’m sorry, but what do you expect from me, babe? We have only been back together for two days now. Aren’t we allowed to be happy for a fucking minute?... and without talking about Michael? God! I hate this,
and I hate him
.” I stood there, and let Simon scream out his frustrations. I needed to allow him to do this, or the next part of what I had to tell him would be even worse. I leaned my head onto Simon’s back, and wrapped my arms around his waist, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

“Simon, I love you. Please don’t be angry with me, I can’t bear it.”

“Nicolette, I’m not angry with you, and I never want you to be angry with me. I’m just trying to understand why you want to do this?”

“Simon, had I stayed when the first meeting took place, I could have been directly involved with all of the proceedings involving my case, but I left. This is my chance to right that wrong. I need to speak with the judge, and give my testimony in detail about what Michael did to me.”

“I don’t understand Nicolette, that’s what a trial is for.” Simon, again throwing his hands in the air, and not understanding my reasons.

“Yes, you’re right. My testimony can be reserved for trial, but a plea bargain is on the table, and I can challenge it. I want to have my say, and I have a right to be heard. Whether they listen to me or not, I’m going to that meeting.”

“When is this meeting, Nicolette?”

“Tomorrow morning at nine a.m. Simon, I know this news is not what you expected or wanted to hear, but I need to do this, and I’m ready to face him. I’m not afraid anymore.”

“Nicolette, what if I am? I don’t trust that I won’t leap over a table, and beat him to a pulp.”

“I’m doing this alone Simon, and you won’t be permitted to be inside with me. I will be with my lawyer.”

“Nicolette, you don’t know everything that happened, while you were away.” Walking out of my arms, Simon sat down and placed his head in his hands. I knelt down in front of him. “Hey, please don’t hide from me. Isn’t that what you’re always telling me? Whatever you have to say, I will listen and understand. Please talk to me?”

“Do you remember the night I left you at the hospital?”

“Yes, it was the night I miscarried the baby, and thought I had lost you.”

“I never told you where I went or whom I saw that night. You never asked me about it, so I decided to keep quiet, but now you may find out. Nicolette asked me to tell her what happened. I so didn’t want to have this conversation with her, especially after the days and nights we just shared. I had no way to avoid it any longer, and she’s not really giving me a choice in the matter.

“After I left you, I was out of mind. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and sick with worry over you. I kept thinking about how we got here, and hating the person responsible for putting you through this pain and suffering. When I found you in the bathroom in that condition, and surrounded by all of that blood, I thought right then and there, you were dying in front of me.”

“I don’t think I can ever explain to you how I felt seeing you like that. My blood was boiling over with rage, and I went to see Michael.” I finally told Nicolette the truth, and watching her show no reaction, made me wonder if she had known all along about me seeing him.

“How did you manage to see Michael? I was told he was under strict restrictions, and only his father and lawyer had access to him.”

“I went to my father, Nicolette. I had him pull some strings with a contact he had at the jail. With my father’s assistance, I was secretly granted access to Michael.”

“What happened next?” Nicolette asked me. I could barely look at my girl now. She looked so lost, but still was listening to my every word.

“I had met with Michael in a private conference room, where I knew we wouldn’t be interrupted. He was surprised to see me, and I think I was the last person he expected to have visit him. Michael had one arm handcuffed to the table, and his other wrapped in a cast. I don’t know what happened to his hand, I just know he was defenseless against me.”

“What did you do, honey?” She spoke in barely a whisper.

“At first I just talked to him. Nicolette, you have to understand. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind when I went to the jail. I hated him, and I just wanted to rip his throat out. I can’t exactly remember everything I said to him, but I punched him, and he flipped backwards with his good hand hanging from the table. I’m lucky his wrist didn’t break when I punched him. Michael was screaming for the guard. He was helped up, and escorted back to his cell. The guard in question was my dad’s contact, and he settled a debt to my father by helping me.”

“Did Michael ever say anything to anyone about you assaulting him?”

“My father never heard anything else about it, so I’m assuming no.”

“Simon, did you tell Michael about the baby?” Now she was crying, so I pulled her to me, and told her no.

“Nicolette, I would have never crossed that line by betraying you like that. I’m sorry for leaving you that night, and my reason for it. I felt helpless, and I didn’t know what else to do.” We held each other, and cried. I cupped my angel’s face, and apologized to her. I never want to see hurt in her eyes again, especially from me. Nicolette wasn’t angry with me, but thanked me for my honesty, and understanding why I needed to see Michael. Nicolette asked me to trust her now, and to believe she knew what she was doing and have faith that all would work out.

It was Nicolette’s turn to shock me now. She had revealed some interesting details about her Uncle Jack’s colored past growing up in Chicago. Nicolette didn’t actually say the words, but she implied that at one time in her father and uncle’s life, they may have been connected to the mafia, more Uncle Jack than her father. The two men knew powerful people, and if Uncle Jack had followed through with his threat, Michael could have easily been taken out for what he did to Nicolette.

Nicolette explained that the life that Uncle Jack, and her father knew when they were younger, they left in the past. Nicolette being raped and hurt by Michael, pushed Uncle Jack back in. He wanted justice that he could live with. Nicolette asked me if there was anything else she needed to know before putting this conversation to rest, I told her no. She kissed me, and then said, “Let’s drop it then, we have a brunch to prepare for.”