A Changed Life (52 page)

“If our child had survived, would you have told me about him or her?” Here I was again being selfish by asking Nicolette to relive her pain and loss by answering my question.

“I honestly don’t know Michael. If you are seeking more, I don’t have any answers for you.” I thanked her for just answering me. The judge ordered me to continue, or she would end this now.

“Nicolette, deep down I knew what I did was wrong, and it took seeing and hearing you today to make me realize it, and stop being a coward. You survived me and you traveled through the gates of hell, and came out the other side. I will never know anyone that even comes close to having your strength, and I will spend the rest of my life fighting my demons to right this wrong. I just hope you can truly find the happiness you deserve, and not ever let what I did to you keep you from achieving that.”

Judge Northwick asked Nicolette, if she wanted to say anything to me, Nicolette simply answered no. Nicolette was escorted out of the judge’s chambers, and I went on to finish the paper work, and to say goodbye to my father. I would immediately be taken into custody and taken to the prison to begin my official sentence.

“I’m proud of you son,” my father had said to me. I told him that was the last thing I wanted to hear from him. I couldn’t say any more to my father. John had motioned to me that it was time to go. I just nodded, and made my way back into the courtroom.

This time upon entering the courtroom, I now saw Nicolette surrounded by her family, with Simon holding her hand, and shooting death stares directly at me. Court was called to order, and Judge Northwick began to speak.

“Mr. St. Clair, you have agreed to the plea bargain that the District Attorney’s office has presented to you. I have heard testimony from both sides, and I am prepared to give you my ruling. I hereby remand you to the California State Prison; Los Angeles County to serve the full five years of your sentence without the option for parole. This time will not include time already served here in the county jail. You are required to pay restitution to your victim for the amount of $10,000 dollars.”

“Ms. Vanelle, I wish you only the best, and again you are a truly an inspiring young woman who has had to suffer more pain than one should ever have too in one’s lifetime.”

The judge then turned her attention back to me, and said. “Mr. St. Clair, you are one lucky man to be given this incredible opportunity to redeem yourself. I only hope you will take from what happened here today, as no less than a gift from Ms. Vanelle, and from me. If I ever see you in my courtroom again, I will not be so tolerant next time. This concludes today’s hearing.” With the slamming of the judge’s gavel, I was handcuffed and taken into custody to begin my sentence. I never looked back at Nicolette.

I did it! I thought to myself as I watched Michael be led away and out of sight. I was relatively calm, and any anxiety that I was feeling this morning is gone. I feel like I can breathe again for the first time in a very long while.

Simon and my family gave me the time I needed to just take it all in on what happened here today. Michael, finally admitting what he had done to me…was in a way, Michael facing his fears today, as I faced my own. I fell right into my mom, dad, and Uncle Jack, my heroes. My mom was crying, but she said they were happy tears, and we all had so much to look forward to. Daddy was smiling at me, as if I knew what he was thinking. Remembering what he had promised me when this nightmare with Michael would be over. “Disney Land” I whispered my answer to his unspoken question, and he laughed and hugged me again. This nightmare that changed my life was finally over. Today would be our new beginning as a family, and I had a new life to begin with Simon.

I was so proud of Nicolette, she was amazing today. I had only joined Nicolette in the end when the Judge had given her final ruling. I was transfixed on Nicolette the whole time the Judge was speaking.

I will never forget anything Michael had put her through. He put us through hell, and almost broke us in the process. My beautiful girl survived him, and came back to me. I have so much to be thankful for. My whole world is Nicolette, and I can’t wait for the day she becomes my wife. We have so much waiting for us outside of these doors. I will walk out of here today with Nicolette, and vow never to think of Michael St. Clair again.

I was trying to get my breathing under control, but my nerves were getting the best of me. I can’t believe this day has finally arrived. Today we open the doors to the C.A.L.I. Women’s Help Center. After Michael was sentenced, his father asked my parents to drop their lawsuit against his son.

Clayton St. Clair wanted to settle privately with me. At the time, I wanted no part of the lawsuit. I had felt money wouldn’t change the past, and after many long discussions with Simon, I realized having this money could help me help others. I had made a solid decision, and that’s how C.A.L.I. began.

Twenty five million dollars was deposited into an account that had been arranged for me. I was taken back with the amount. As much as my parents wanted to sue the St. Clair’s, this didn’t make them feel any better about it. My father explained that no amount of money could erase what Clayton’s son did to me. I agreed, but I made a vow to put it behind me, and focus on my future. I wanted to dream of what would happen next, and to be excited for the next chapter to begin in my life.

The day Simon and I returned to our home on the beach, we each grabbed a notebook and began making plans. Simon and I called it our wish list. The first idea that came to the both of us was our wedding. Simon didn’t want to wait to get married, but I on the other hand needed some time to plan. I was my parent’s only daughter. I wanted my mom to help me plan our special day, along with my friends.

After many debates, Simon and I had chosen February 13, 2010. We had married right here on our own private stretch of beach. We kept it small, and only inviting close friends, and family. Our day couldn’t have been more perfect. My friends Alexis, and Bailey stood up for me as my bride maids. Simon chose his two best men to stand beside him, Sam and Jameson. It was so fun how Jameson protested being called an usher, and so Sam conceded, and shared the best man role with him.

These two guys were Simon’s best friends, loyal to the fault, and would do anything for their brother. Simon’s real brothers, Jacob, Andrew, and Cameron also stood up for Simon, but were disappointed they weren’t to be paired off with any girls.

I had lost touch with friends I had known in Chicago, and didn’t feel right to reach out to them now. I was very happy with Alexis, and Bailey. We were so close, and they were all I needed to stand by my side.

Simon and I had planned our wedding in reverse. We knew school would be beginning for the two of us in September, and once that began, we would be very busy. We had chosen to take an extended 3 week vacation to Australia, and it was amazing. Simon always wanted to surf Australia’s spectacular waters, and snorkel through the color bursting coral reefs. I was scared about the sharks, but Simon was fearless on a surf board. The pictures that I had captured of him surfing line our great room in our home.

Our trip to Australia was our honeymoon before the wedding. It was magical every day we were there. Before we knew it, Simon and I began attending college at the University of California, where his mom is still Dean of Students.

Simon’s mom was thrilled about Simon attending her school. This was his choice, because of the marine biology department they have here. This would be Simon’s career, and he couldn’t wait to get started. I had chosen psychology as my major. At the time, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to pursue a career in this field. I didn’t have to decide right away, and I really did enjoy my classes.

Attending college and planning a wedding took up all of our time. I blinked, and it was the morning of my wedding. Simon was at a hotel with his friends, while the girls were with me. A team of stylists arrived at our home bringing the spa to us. I got a bride to be massage, along with hair, make-up and nails. Alexis and Bailey were squealing with delight. They asked for everything, and got it.

After looking over my appearance one last time, my stylist said I was ready for my big reveal. I didn’t want to look in the mirror, because I was afraid I was going to cry. I slowly turned around, and couldn’t believe how beautiful I looked. My long layers had been curled into big bouncy curls that cascaded down my shoulders. We had decided to leave my hair down for the wedding.

My make-up was not too heavy, but my eyes looked amazing with the smoky eye shadow applied. I took in some calming breaths, and I was ready to become Simon’s wife. I couldn’t have been happier to be marrying my love today.

Flowers arrived with a special arrangement for me from Simon. His card was beautiful, and it read: