A Complicated Love (Complicated Love #1) (10 page)

Love?

Could this be love?

I sigh and devour my ice cream while watching
‘Crime Scene Investigation.’
I’m a big fan and kind of addicted. I’m really looking forward to the ultrasound tomorrow. It’s going to feel so much more real, and having Joshua by my side, is going to make it that much more amazing.

Since Joshua told me to relax and have another day off, I have a lie in until I can’t sleep anymore. I make myself some pancakes for breakfast and watch daytime television. I feel so lazy. I have half an hour until my appointment, so I rush around getting a shower and dressing in blue jeans and a pink blouse. I don’t have time to blow dry my hair, so I twist it and put it up in a ponytail. I pose in front of the mirror and I look pretty good. I can’t believe I’m finally going to see my baby. I lift up my pink blouse and run my hand over my stomach. It still feels weird to think I’m pregnant. That I’m going to have a little person to look after and cherish. A knock on the door alerts me that Joshua has arrived. I grab my purse, bag and blue jacket and rush to the door.

Joshua escorts me to his car and helps me in. I’m not sure how many cars he’s got, but I’ve never seen this one before. He picked me up last time in a red sports car. He later told me it was Porsche 911. This car is a bright blue and very shiny. I don’t know much about cars. He climbs in and starts the engine.

“I love this car.”

He looks over and gives me a little smirk. “You like?

I giggle. “Very much so. So what is this car?

“It’s a Lotus Evora.” He winks and drives off. We sit in comfortable silence for the whole journey to the hospital.

Joshua parks the car and we head inside the hospital. I sign in at reception and we’re directed to a waiting room until called. Joshua sits down and grabs a newspaper from the stack on the table in the corner. I find hospitals depressing, especially this waiting room. The walls are all white and there are brown plastic seats. There’s a table in the corner full of newspapers. I don’t know if they are all new, as there seems to be a load and the bottom ones look really tattered. I received a letter from the hospital a couple of days ago to tell me how to prepare for an ultrasound. The main thing was to drink plenty of water, so I have a full bladder for the ultrasound. I tell you it’s really uncomfortable. Joshua was really sweet and bought me a bottle of water with him for me to drink in the car. I can’t help being really excited to finally see my baby.

I look across at Joshua and my heart starts fluttering and my palms are sweaty. I don’t quite understand what’s going on between Joshua and me. We haven’t really put a label on what this is, and I can’t quite work him out. We haven’t had sex since that night. We’ve shared countless kisses and they were all intense. He’s a good kisser and I have dreamed loads of times of him kissing me in spots I really want to beg him to kiss.

He says he wants to take it slow, but what does he mean by that?

“Miss Connor?” I pull myself out of my musings to see a middle-aged nurse with a clipboard looking around the waiting room. I get up and make my way over to the nurse with Joshua following close behind. We follow the nurse to a little box room with a table and one chair. She asks me to sit down and she takes my blood pressure. She then asks me for my urine sample. I get it out of my bag and place it on the table. The nurse takes it and asks me to follow her into a smaller room across the hallway. Joshua stayed behind in the room that I’ve just vacated

She wants to check my weight and height. I stand on the scales while the nurse takes a note of my weight.

“Can you stand over here please?” the nurse points to the wall where there is a height chart. I stand under it and the nurse measures my height.

“Right, I will just go and check your sample. Can you make you way to the other room please?”

“No problem,” I reply.

I make my way back to the box room where I see Joshua sat with his elbows on his knees, tapping his feet. He smiles when I walk in. Joshua grabs me around the waist and plonks me down on his lap. My hands instantly find their way around his neck. Sometimes I really love just looking into his intense green eyes.

“Thank you for being here today.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I want to be here… with you.” His green eyes have gone so dark and really intense. He slowly leans closely and brushes his lips with mine. I moan as he increases the pressure of the kiss. I love the softness of his lips, but they’re also really firm and demanding. I feel like he commands our kisses and it doesn’t take long for the kiss to get fiercer. He probes my mouth demanding entry, and I can’t resist. He plunges his tongue into my mouth and I hear a growl emanating from his chest. I’m being carried away until I hear a throat clearing. Joshua ends the kiss quickly. I look into his eyes and see him smirking at me. I quickly stand and look over to see the nurse with a scowl on her face. I stand up straighter as she shakes her head and heads over to the table. She checks my paperwork.

“Your sample was fine so if you’d like to take a seat in the waiting room, someone will call you for your ultrasound.” She walks out the door while I hear Joshua chuckling behind me. He entwines our hands and leads me back to the waiting room. I sit back down and Joshua sits beside me. He grabs the newspaper he was reading and continues the part he didn’t have time to read. I’m not a fan of waiting, so I lay my head on Joshua’s shoulder and rest my eyes.   

“Miss Connor?” I jerk away, I must have fallen asleep. I look over and spot the young nurse smiling at me. I stand and stretch as my neck has an awful kink in it from laying on Joshua’s shoulder. He grabs my hand and follows the nurse to a bigger room this time. It’s a lot darker in this room and there’s a bed with a big machine sitting beside it. The machine has a huge monitor. My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. I don’t know if I’m more excited or more nervous. I notice a youngish guy with short-cropped hair and a little goatee beard, typing on the machine. He must be the sonographer.

“Good morning Miss Connor. How are you today?”

“Fine thank you. Just a tad nervous really.” I stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

“Well, let’s get started then. Miss Connor, could you pop up on the bed and make yourself comfortable.” He turns to Joshua and lets him know that he can have a seat on one of the chairs beside the bed.

“Right, can you please lift up your top.” I roll my top up to just under my breasts and the Sonographer tucks some blue roll in the waistband of my jeans. He tells me it’s to stop the gel from getting on my jeans.

He squeezes some lubricating gel onto my stomach and it’s really quite cold and feels really weird. He picks up a small handheld device and moves it slowly over my stomach area where he placed the lubricating gel. He clicks a few buttons on the machine and swivels the monitor toward me and Joshua.

“And here’s your baby… right here.” He places the cursor over the picture of my baby. I can’t quite believe it… it’s there right on the screen. I’m in awe of what I’m seeing. I feel Joshua grab onto my hand and I look over to see his stare fixated on the screen. He has the hint of a smile on his face. I feel my eyes starting to blur, and I can’t help a tear trickling down my cheek. Joshua looks at me and I’m sure his eyes are sparkling. He smiles and wipes my cheeks. He gives me a feather light kiss on the lips before putting his forehead against mine.

“I can’t believe this,” he whispers. “That’s our baby, Annabelle.” He gives me another quick peck before looking back at the screen again.

“I’m just going to take all the measurements.” I nod my head as I’m too choked up to speak.

“Looking from these measurements and the baby, it seems that you’re about eleven weeks. I would estimate your due date as the twenty-seventh of August.”

“Thank you,” it’s all I can manage to say, so I look to Joshua and give him another peck on the lips.

The Sonographer wipes the gel off my stomach and lets me know that I can sit up and adjust my top. He asks me if I would like any pictures and Joshua buys three photographs of our little baby. I take my file and give it in at the reception desk. The receptionist informs me that I will receive a letter for an appointment for my twenty-week scan.

Before we leave, I rush to the toilet to empty my bladder. Joshua suggests we go and get a bite to eat, as I haven’t eaten all morning. He wants to take me to a restaurant, but I’m really in the mood for a sandwich or wrap, so we end up parking up and walking to a little corner café near Kings Cross Station. I have a southern fried chicken salad wrap and Joshua has a BLT baguette. He orders me orange juice and himself a black coffee. It’s not a bad day today, so we sit outside on their metal chairs with matching tables. They made it look beautiful by putting fresh flowers in vases as centrepieces. Joshua pulls out his copy of the ultrasound and stares at it in awe. He looks so happy.

“I wonder if our baby is a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t know, but we can find out at the twenty-week scan if you want?” I smile and take a bite of my wrap.

“Only if you want to. No pressure. I can’t believe this is our baby. It’s so surreal.” He looks over at me and I can’t help giggling at his boyish grin.

“Well, believe it. That’s our baby and in six months we will get to meet it.”

“I can’t wait. We have so much to do though don’t we?”

“Yep, there is a fair few things I have to get for the baby’s room. Well, when I have a room for the baby. I’m going to have to get sorted with an apartment soon as Tracy leaves tomorrow.” I take a bite of my wrap while Joshua stares at me with his thinking frown on.

“Move in with me.”

I choke on my bite of wrap while staring wide-eyed at Joshua.

Did he just ask me to move in with him?

“I… I… ” I can’t speak.

“Look, I know we haven’t known each other that long, but you need somewhere to live and I have an apartment. I can’t see you and my baby out on the streets.” He takes my hand and strokes his thumb across my hand.

“Joshua… I can’t… not yet… us… this thing, between us, it’s too new.”

“Okay, okay well, what about I buy your apartment from your landlord?” I stare at him.

Is he crazy!

“You want to buy the apartment?”

“Yes I do. You and our baby can live there for as long as you like, rent free.” He relaxes back in his chair while he studies my reaction.

“What if we don’t work out?”

“Well, then you can move out if you want to. I would never kick you out. Don’t ever think that, but you could do what you like if we don’t work out, but I’m hoping that eventually we will all be living in my apartment, or we could get a new one together. That’s what I want, Annabelle.” He looks at me with such affection.

“Whoa, okay, slow down a bit. Can I think about you buying the apartment?”

“Take all the time you need, but until you decide, I will pay Tracy’s rent until you give me your decision.”

“Okay, thank you Joshua… if you’re sure.” He smiles and gulps the rest of his coffee before going to the counter to cover the bill. He never lets me pay, and we seem to have settled into this weird type of relationship. He likes to take care of me and I can’t help but like it a lot. I just hope it continues, because I always have this thought that when everything in my life is going really great and I’m happy, that something bad might happen.

Joshua is being really stubborn and not letting me work at all this week. He knows Tracy is leaving tomorrow and I only have one more day with her. When I got home from the ultrasound yesterday, I showed Tracy and she was really excited. She even wanted to hightail it down to Hamleys to buy toys. I had to tell her it was a bit too soon for that. I got an extra ultrasound for Aunt Sylvia, so I posted it to her. I can’t wait to hear from her. I do miss her a lot. I don’t get to see her as much as I hoped.

Tracy’s in the living room when I finally make my way out of my bedroom. I spent the morning pampering myself with a relaxing bubble bath and then I painted my nails and toenails. It’s been a great morning.

“What are we doing tonight?” Tracy is lounging on the sofa with her feet on the coffee table. She’s watching
‘The Jeremy Kyle Show.’
She doesn’t usually have time for daytime television, but since her boss gave her time off until she leaves for Los Angeles, all she’s been doing is watching daytime television and going out in the evenings. I don’t know how she does it. I walk to the kitchen and make myself some freshly squeezed orange juice before joining Tracy.

“What do you mean, what are we doing?”

Tracy pouts. “Well… it is my last night… and we haven’t had a girl’s night in ages. Come on… you and me in a nightclub, dancing and having fun,” she pouts and tries to do these really sad puppy dogs eyes. I giggle and sip my orange juice while Tracy starts getting annoyed with me ignoring her.

“I’m not sure. I’ve been really tired lately.”

“Oh come on… please?” Tracy gets up and kneels down on the floor and slowly crawls over to me. She kneels just in front of me and proceeds to beg.

“Please… Annabelle… please?” I laugh hysterically at her.
She’s too crazy!

“Fine… ”

She squeals and flings her arms around my neck. “Thanks, bestie… it’s party time tonight!” She gets up and rushes to her room. “I have to pick something to wear,” she shouts before I hear the shower turn on. I finish my orange juice and decide to get some cereal. I’m eating for two as it is. My phone starts ringing, so I grab it off the coffee table where I left it last night. It’s Joshua ringing.

“Hi.”

“Hey baby. How are you today?”

He called me baby!
I silently squeal with delight.

“I’m good today. I’ve had a great morning and Tracy’s here so it’s good to spend some time with her before she has to leave tomorrow. I’m really going to miss her.” I frown as that comment hits home.
She’s leaving!

“I know you will. I wish I was there with you. Work is boring, but I wanted to run something by you.”

“Okaaaay… out with it, Mr. Lynn.” I smile as I hear him chuckle on the other end of the phone line. I go and sit on the sofa, as standing up for too long is becoming a painful thing.

“Look, I want to hire a PA.”

Okay, I’m lost.
Is he firing me?

“Are… you… firing… me?” I stammer.

“No! Oh God… no, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant another PA. Someone to be here when you’re not and if you are comfortable with it, maybe you could work alongside each other. That way I know you won’t be overtired or stressed.”

“I can do the work, Joshua. I’m not an invalid just because I’m pregnant.”

“Okay calm down. I didn’t mean you can’t do anything. I just thought it would be good to have some help.” He sighs. “Look think about it, okay?”

“Okay I will.” There’s an awkward silence between us. Silence is usually comfortable between us, but I just hate that he feels I need help with my job now. Tracy walks into the living room with two dresses in her hand. One is a short black dress with diamantes plastered all over it, and the other is a short white dress with a halter neck top.

“Annabelle which one? I want to look sexy as sin tonight for all the drop dead good looking men at the club.” I don’t know why she has to shout it, but she does with such excitement in her voice. She spots the phone in my hand and whispers, “Shit sorry. I didn’t realise.” She tiptoes out of the room. I giggle to myself. I don’t know why she tiptoed out of the room. It’s not like he could hear her feet.

“Annabelle?” I realise I’m still on the phone with Joshua.

“Sorry… Tracy wanted me to pick what outfit she should wear tonight.”

“Oh… are you going out?”

“Yea, Tracy wanted a girl’s night out before she leaves, so we are going to a nightclub.” Joshua is silent on the phone. I bite my bottom lip while waiting for him to say something. “Where are you going?”

What kind of question is that? I frown and shout out to Tracy.

“Tracy, where are we going tonight?” She pops her head out of her bedroom and gives me a cheeky smile.

“I was hoping we would check out Blue Bliss tonight.” Her head disappears before I have time to say anything. I focus back on Joshua.

“Tracy says she wants to check out Blue Bliss tonight.” I can’t help chewing on my lip while I wait for Joshua’s reaction.

“Blue Bliss is a dump. Why don’t you go to Sienna’s instead? I will set you up in the VIP suite on the first floor.”

“Wait? What? I guess we can go to Sienna’s if Tracy wants to, but how will
you
get us into the VIP suite?” He chuckles while I frown, confused on why my question is funny.

“No way are you going to Blue Bliss. I can’t have you going in there… not you or our baby.”

“Okay, okay… just hang on a minute. You can’t just tell me what to do. If I want to go to Blue Bliss, I will.” I scowl while I stand and pace back and forth.

Why does he think he can tell me what to do?

He sighs. “Look I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want anything to happen, and I would prefer it if you went to Sienna’s.”

“Okay, we will go to Sienna’s and you
will
get us into the VIP section? Do you know the owner?” I’m curious to know who this owner is.

“Uh… yea, it definitely helps knowing the owner.” He chuckles again and I’m really confused as to why he’s laughing at me.

“Stop laughing at me and tell me who the owner is? Is he a friend?”

“No, he’s not a friend.”

I frown and get cross because he's very evasive. “Tell me who the owner is?”

“Okay, calm down baby, the owner of Sienna’s is… me.”

I can’t believe Joshua is the owner of Sienna’s. Not only does he have his own publishing company, but he owns a nightclub too.
Oh my God!
Joshua told me about Sienna’s being a business for himself. Something that he’s built from scratch. I really admire that about him. I was a bit nervous asking him why he named it Sienna’s. I got myself so worked up, thinking that it was after an ex-girlfriend, fiancée or even wife. I didn’t know, but I was really relieved when he told me that Sienna is his mum’s name. I did breathe a long sigh of relief.

Joshua said he would have us on the list for the VIP section on the first floor. I didn’t even realise it had another floor when I was there on opening night, but I think that it had more to do with the delicious, sexy male specimen that was sitting next to me all night.

Joshua said he would pop in sometime to see how we’re doing, even though I told him he didn’t have to. I love that he’s so protective of me, but I’m getting really frustrated with him. We haven’t done anything sexual since that drunken night. We kiss and make out a lot, but he always stops it before it gets too hot and heavy. I know he wants to take it slow, but how slow are we talking?

It’s resulted in very erotic dreams, every night, featuring Joshua and me. Every time I think about them, I feel like I have a fever… it’s getting ridiculous! Maybe tonight I can get to him enough for him to break down his wall. Tracy comes sauntering out of the bathroom. She decided to go for the short, white halter neck top dress with these black super heels. That’s what I call them as I could never walk in them. There about six inches and it looks like she’s having trouble with the way she’s sauntering around clumsily. She has loads of bracelets on her right wrist. She’s put her hair up into a loose braid that lays on the right side of her shoulder. I went for a simple back floaty dress that cinches in at the waist and flairs out from the waist to the bottom that sits just on my knees. Joshua loves my hair down, so I let my hair fall in waves down my back. It’s looking really nice tonight.

“Sorry bestie, ready to party tonight?” She squeals as she grabs her purse. A car horn honks from the street below. “That’s the cab… come on!” She’s a ball of energy tonight. I grab my purse and phone and put them in my bag. I pick up my little black jacket following after Tracy out the door. I think this night is going to be a good night. I can’t wait to see Joshua. I’ve missed him. I get a text from him in the cab.

Sorry babe, but I won’t be able to get to the club tonight. I have an impromptu business meeting and it’s not going to finish until late so I will give you a call tomorrow first thing. I like talking to you when you’re all sleepy and lying in bed.    

He puts a little winking face at the end of his text. I’m so gutted I won’t see him tonight.

It’s ok… I miss you. Why don’t you come to mine when you finish? I would really like to snuggle with you xx

I wait for his answer while chewing my lip. I want him in my bed tonight, and I’m hoping something might happen with us. Joshua’s text comes in and I open it with nervous trepidation.

Mmm, sounds good baby… will see you tonight xx

I silently squeal with delight, I really can’t wait. I pop my phone back into my bag and relax back as I imagine what’s in store for me tonight. Hopefully a fantastic girly night with my bestie and later on, I’m going to have a wicked after party with my sexy, alluring, intoxicating man.