A Dream for Tomorrow (45 page)

“Sure.” He waited.

“Why did you come here?”

“To see you.”

“It was a long way to come…to see me.”

He nodded. “Longer than you know.”

“What does that mean?”

“I was headed to California after delivering the Applegate Trail folks up here. I had thought about coming on out and saying hello to you, but I was afraid that…well, I just felt uneasy about something.”

“I see.”

“But the farther I got away from here…it seemed like with each passing mile…well, it was like something had ahold of me and was pulling me back.”

Elizabeth frowned. “That sounds a bit uncomfortable.”

He smiled. “I don’t mean to make it sound like that.”

“So what was it, Eli? What had ahold of you?”

“I think you know.”

She shrugged. “I’m not so sure I do.”

“Elizabeth, you must know that I love you. I think you’ve known that from the beginning. Haven’t you?”

She felt her resolve melting. “Maybe…”

“You know how I’ve struggled with it.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I know that you enjoy your freedom.”

He frowned. “The problem is, I’m not sure I can enjoy it anymore.”

Hearing him say that was not comforting. In fact, it made her feel a tinge of guilt. Was it her fault that he was unhappy? Did he expect her to do something to make this right? To apologize to him? “Do you know what’s truly ironic?” she finally said.

“I haven’t a clue.”

“I was barely settled in here and, as you can see, not even a roof over my head, and I suddenly found myself missing the wagon train. I missed being out there on the trail. I missed being on the move.” She slapped her hand on the table. “Can you believe that?”

His eyes lit up. “So you
do
understand my dilemma.”

“I think I do. Just a little.”

There was a long pause now with only the sound of the breeze rustling the drying leaves on the trees and a pair of doves making their mournful calls.

“Elizabeth, I’ve told you how I feel. But you seem determined to play your cards close to your chest. Can’t you help me out a little here?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Oh, she knew she was being coquettish. But hadn’t he accused her of making him unhappy?

“I told you, Elizabeth. I’ve confessed to loving you. I knew it from the day we met. And I know it now.”

“Oh…” She knew that he wanted her to declare her love too. And part of her wanted to, but another part wanted to hold back, to play it safe and protect her heart. Most of all, she wanted to be honest. What more could she do?

“Eli, I never would have admitted it back then, when we first met, but I did feel something inside of me. It happened almost in the same moment that I first saw you. Something inside of me seemed to fall into place. It was almost like I heard it go
click
. And yet it was terribly unsettling because I wasn’t ready for such feelings again. I felt it would be untrue to James.”

“I understand.”

“It took me most of the Oregon Trail to get to the place where I could accept that James is gone and my life with him is over. I finally realized that it’s all right for me to have a new life…a new love…” She held up her palms up in a helpless gesture. “Unfortunately, about the same time that I figured it out, you took off down a different trail.”

“I couldn’t really help that.”

“You couldn’t?” She studied him closely.

He smirked back at her. “You’re right. Maybe I could have. But I think I needed to go down that trail, away from you…to figure it out for myself.”

“Did you figure it out?”

He nodded as he reached for her hands, gently holding them in his. “I figured out that everything I’ve been wanting, everything I’ve been searching for, all that I’ve been dreaming about…it’s all right here with you.”

She felt her heart in her throat. “Are you sure?”

He squeezed her hands. “I’m absolutely certain. But I still need to hear you say it, Elizabeth. I’ve declared my love for you, but you’re holding out on me.”

She took in a deep breath. “All right, Eli, I will tell you. Yes, I love you. I do. There, I’ve said it. And it hasn’t been easy loving you.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

She felt a rush of relief now. It felt so good to have her feelings out there in the open. “I honestly did not believe I would ever experience this kind of love again.”

“I know. I felt the same way.”

“And it was because of my feelings for you that I knew I could never marry Will. Do you know that my love for you has the power to make me lonely and miserable for the rest of my life?” She searched his blue eyes. “And if you should decide to leave me again…” Even saying these words aloud filled her with sorrow.

“I am not going to do that, Elizabeth.”

“You’re not?”

“I’ll admit I was a wandering man. I think I was looking for something…a place to come home to. But now I believe I’ve found it. I know that my home is with you…this is where my heart is. I’m ready for us to build something together here.”

“You are?”

“Elizabeth Martin, I’m asking you to marry me.”

Tears of joy were filling her eyes—and she was speechless. Was this truly happening? It seemed too good to be real.

“Are you going to answer me?” He squeezed her fingertips.

“I’m sorry. Yes, of course, I’ll marry you, Eli Kincaid. I will gladly marry you!”

And now he stood, and pulling her to him, he kissed her again. This time it was with as much passion as before, the time when he’d kissed her goodbye. But as he held her tightly and as she relaxed in his arms, she knew that this kiss was only the beginning.

Discussion Questions

1. Some of the pioneers had difficulties lightening their wagonloads. What one possession would be hard for you to let go of? Explain how you would feel leaving it behind.

2. Describe your reaction when Mr. Taylor lost his life.

3. Mrs. Taylor isn’t always easy to like. Is someone in your life like that? Compare your real person to Mrs. Taylor.

4. Elizabeth found herself in the middle of a love triangle. Which man were you rooting for? Why?

5. How did you feel when Brady took a thrashing after rescuing the boy in the river? Do you see a spiritual metaphor in that scene?

6. Why do you think the dance hall girl refused to let Elizabeth send her money in payment for her kindness to Brady?

7. Why do you think Elizabeth was so certain that Eli was not the kind of man to settle down? Was she being realistic or just trying to protect her own heart?

8. Malinda’s first letter (warning Elizabeth not to come) was alarming. Describe an instance in your life when you expected a disaster but it turned out all right.

9. What did you think when Mrs. Taylor changed her mind at the last minute, pleading to continue on with Elizabeth and her family?

10. Were you surprised that Elizabeth rejected Will’s attempts to court her? Do you think that was realistic (for that time period) or not? Describe.

11. After all her hard work and planning and helpfulness, Elizabeth feels a bit left out once her family is actually on the frontier. Describe a time you felt like that.

12. What was your favorite part of this story and why?

Don’t miss book 3 in Melody Carlson’s H
OMEWARD ON THE
O
REGON
T
RAIL series

Chapter One

Elizabeth walked Eli around the perimeters of the whole unit of land. “John and Malinda had been saving it for us…” She stopped herself. “I mean for James and me.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

“But now both John and James are gone.” She didn’t want to think too much on this sad fact. It seemed more important to go forward than to look back. “Anyway, you can see where my half unit ends.” She waved her hand. “And where yours would begin.”

“It’s hard to believe the government is selling this land for so cheap.” Eli frowned. “But they want it settled.” He glanced over to the Coquille River. “Are there any Indians around here? I heard the Coquille Indians are friendly. This looks like the kind of place a tribe would be comfortable in.”

“I haven’t seen a single Indian since we were in Coos Bay,” she told him. “But Malinda said there had been trouble in these parts. Perhaps they’ve moved on.”

“I know the ocean isn’t too far away. It’s possible they’ve gone over there to fish or to collect clams.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing the ocean,” she told him.

He grinned. “Yes, we’ll have to do that together.” He looked intently into her eyes. “Now that you’ve agreed to become my bride, is there anyone I should see to get permission? Asa perhaps?”

She laughed. “No, I don’t need my father’s permission to marry, but I would like his blessing. However, there is someone you should ask. Rather, two someones. School let out a bit ago, so I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”

“I can’t wait to see them.”

Now she told him about JT helping to drive the livestock along the Columbia River. “It was almost as if he left a boy and grew into a man while he was gone. He’s still talking about the adventures they had.”

“Did he take his Bowie knife?”

“He certainly did. And I let him take your canteen as well.”

Eli chuckled. “I’m glad you did.”

“And Ruth is turning into quite an artist. You’ll have to ask her to show you the drawings she did while we floated down the Columbia. She says she’s saving them for her children.” She laughed. “Can you imagine?”

“I think we would make fine grandparents.”

Elizabeth pointed over to where JT and Ruth were just coming in sight on her horse. “There they are.” Suddenly she felt nervous. Perhaps this was a conversation she should have privately with her children. What if they were unhappy about this? And hadn’t she always promised them that they would be the first to know? “Oh, dear,” she said quietly as she waved to them. “I’m feeling extremely nervous right now.”

“So am I,” Eli admitted.

“Eli!” JT yelled from the horse, nudging Molly to go faster.

Eli went to meet them, helping Ruth from the horse as JT hopped down. As both children hugged him, JT asked where he’d been and Ruth asked how long he planned to stay.

“That depends,” he told them.

“On what?” Ruth asked curiously.

“Well, your mother and I want to ask you about something.” He tossed her an uneasy glance.

“That’s right,” she told them. “Eli has asked me a very important question.” She looked back at him, hoping he’d take it from here.

“I came here to ask your mother to become my wife,” he told them.

JT looked stunned, but Ruth just grinned. “I knew it!” she told Eli.

“But your mother said she cannot marry without her children’s approval. What do you think about me marrying your mother…and hopefully becoming your father?” He cleared his throat. “Someday.”

“I like it!” Ruth told him. “I wanted Mama to marry you a long time ago, back on the wagon train. Didn’t I, Mama?”

Elizabeth just chuckled and nodded. But her eyes were on JT. He was being awfully quiet. And his expression was very somber and hard to read. What was he thinking?