Authors: Jan Warburton
The influence I already had work-wise over both her and Oliver, plus this most recent confidence meant I was slowly inveigling my way into her private life too. By now Oliver had begun to fascinate me as much as Kate. And I soon began to appreciate how sexy Kate found him.
*
Preliminary negotiations were finally in place for the production of the beauty care range. Since the launch campaign for the perfume had been so successful and continued to run smoothly, Luigi had begun to return to Italy more. He loathed our changeable, often wet weather, and arthritis in some of his joints was troubling him.
'I am afraid the English dampness is too much for me,
cara mia
. It makes my legs ache so,’ he complained. ‘I need the warmth and sunshine of my native land.'
By now we were living in a large, three-storey Georgian house in St John's Wood. But when Luigi returned to Italy, I often felt rather lonely there. I flew over to join him some weekends, but if for any reason I couldn't, I'd invite Oliver and Kate to stay with me, and about once a month I held a party. The perfume was continuing to sell well, the beauty care range was about to go on sale and my fashion business was thriving. There was much to celebrate.
To these parties I would ask a fun loving crowd of young people, mostly models, photographers and their partners. Sometimes they would end up being extremely wild affairs; in marked contrast to the quieter, more sedate lifestyle I otherwise spent with Luigi.
I still adored him, but occasionally I needed an injection of youthful recreation. Ever the considerate husband, Luigi respected this and understood this craving I had from time to time.
Due to our age difference, life with him was sometimes a little too subdued for me and by now even the physical side of our relationship, whilst always good, had now sadly become only a once or twice a month event, when my now, erratic, heavy periods allowed. Therefore at weekends I often found myself envying Kate and Oliver's passionate love life.
I even began to shamefully fantasise about taking a young lover myself, purely for sex. Perhaps realising his inadequacies, Luigi might almost have encouraged it too... simply to keep me happy.
Of course it was never mentioned; both of us scared I think that my doing such a thing might destroy our unique love and respect for each other. All the same, since he was always so understanding of my needs, it did cross my mind that perhaps he was purposely staying longer in Italy ... to allow me to discreetly take a lover. A mad notion perhaps, but in some ways it made some sort of sense. This was providing, I suppose, that he never got to know about it, and it didn't adversely affect our life when we were together.
Logically though, the whole thing seemed out of the question. In any case, of all the men I knew, Oliver would have been my ideal first choice, but of course Kate had him firmly in her grasp. Instead, I became satisfied with just flirting with him, whenever the opportunity arose, but it was always done in an open, harmless way that everyone had grown accustomed to.
This way I had fun without hurting any one. Nor did it risk damaging my relationship with Luigi. Despite everything, he was still the most important man in my life.
One weekend over dinner, I suggested to Kate and Oliver that they might like to join Luigi and me for a week in our luxurious chalet in Zermatt. They jumped at the chance and even though Kate didn't ski I knew Oliver did. In my dreams, which he frequently entered, I visualised the pair of us taking off together on our skis, while Kate and Luigi, who rarely skied any more now, occupied themselves with less energetic pursuits.
*
A few days later we all arrived at the chalet. It was late in the season but the snow was still good on the slopes. As I’d expected, Luigi wasn't interested in skiing. Instead he was happy to keep Kate company, whilst Oliver and I went out on the slopes.
It was marvellous being on
piste
alone with Oliver. And it was not long, of course, before I found myself fantasizing again about him as a lover. Luigi and Kate were getting along splendidly, spending much of their time on the sunny terrace overlooking the mountains, chatting and playing chess.
'She plays extremely well,' Luigi informed me. 'She tells me her stepfather taught her as a small girl.'
Other times they would swim together in the heated indoor swimming pool.
As the days passed, I became quite obsessed with the idea of making a move on Oliver. However, it needed some careful scheming.
Firstly, as we headed out onto the slopes together, I began planting seeds of doubt in his mind; that Kate and Luigi were possibly enjoying each other's company a little too much in our absence.
'I wonder what they really get up to,' I ventured on one occasion in the ski lift. 'But then, Kate does quite like the more mature man, doesn't she?' This was in vague reference to her Norman Parker Brown days.
On another occasion, during a break, I commented that Luigi had told me how physically attractive he found Kate, that I had an idea he secretly lusted after her. This was a lie of course; no such conversation had
ever
taken place with Luigi.
Oliver tried to treat it all with relaxed humour, anxious not to fall out with me, but I could sense concern building up beneath his geniality.
'No chance Annabel, Luigi's too much of a gentleman
and
your devoted husband, as well you know.' He'd brushed it off casually, but I still fancied a hint of uncertainty in his manner.
'Oh you shouldn't underestimate Luigi's ability to charm,' I countered. 'He charmed the knickers off me remember!'
Oliver gave an earthy laugh. But I didn't miss him casting me a decidedly nonplussed look as he downed the last of his hot chocolate. I continued working on him in this way for two days, making even more suggestive comments and innuendos about Kate and Luigi. I hoped to make him so unsure about things; reasoning that if there were any thoughts in his mind at all that something might be going on between Kate and Luigi, then why shouldn't he and I indulge? He must surely guess by now that I would be willing. The idea obsessed me.
One afternoon after a lunch break at a skiers rest and refreshment lodge I invited Oliver into an empty rest room with an
EMERGENCIES ONLY
sign on the door. To me this was one such emergency.
'In here, Oliver. There's a sensational view of the Alps from this side.' I pulled him into the room, quickly turning the
do not disturb
sign around on the handle before closing the door. As he turned to me I put my arms around him, drawing him closely to me. Instantly I sensed his arousal.
'Why, I do believe I'm turning you on,' I said coquettishly, kissing him. I pressed my body harder against him. He surely won't refuse me now, I thought, as our lips parted and our tongues touched. My passion was mounting. All I could think of was my desire to make love to him, here in this room.
I ran my hand over his crotch. He was fully aroused by now and clearly happy for me to continue. Unzipping our suits, we were soon urgently caressing each other’s bodies. He moaned in obvious pleasure as he nuzzled and kissed my heaving breasts. Two assets distinctly in my favour, I thought, when compared to Kate's skinny body!
Lowering myself to my knees, I leaned towards him. The way he eagerly responded to this excited me. I felt so turned on, watching and feeling his reaction to my every move. Luigi preferred straight sex so I rarely indulged in this with him.
Oliver stood, with eyes closed and continued quietly groaning, clearly enjoying it as much as I. Eventually, we were completely stripped of our suits and thermals. It was all a huge turn on.
'I'm happy to do anything, Oliver,' I murmured.
'Good. So am I,' he mumbled back.
In the end I think we did indulge in just about all that is physically and sexually possible between two people, making me realise just how much fun I'd been missing. The experience was an uninhibited, erotic marathon.
Completely aware that he adored Kate, it still thrilled me to know that at least I'd managed to ring some rather special bells with him myself today. Even if we never had the chance to do this again I would savour the memory of it for years to come. It was, of course, possible that Oliver may have guessed I'd become a tad sex starved of late and I suppose this in itself might have egged him on all the more. But for me, the experience had been the most blinding ever, and his comments certainly led me to think it had been equally good for him.
We emerged from the room about an hour later, physically exhausted. Relaxing over a couple of refreshing beers, we agreed in the best of humour to call it a well-spent day before taking the lift back down the slopes. Neither of us had an ounce of energy left to ski any more.
It had been a purely physical thing between us... we both knew that, with no complications. Love wasn't involved at all. I loved Luigi and clearly Oliver adored Kate. It had simply been one unique, erotically charged experience for us both. All the more exciting, I suppose, because of the sudden high-risk manner in which it had all had taken place.
It never happened again on that holiday but the memory of it lingered in my thoughts long after and gave me hours of subsequent pleasure. Also it served to exorcize any troubling underlying obsession I thought I might have for Kate. To have known Oliver in such a way had been a dream consummated.
Something else came to light that week in Zermatt. I learned that Oliver's wife had given birth to a baby son just a few weeks back. It shocked me that he could have left his wife at such a critical time. I mentioned it to Kate a couple of days after our return.
'Oh, he didn't leave her; she sent him packing before Christmas when she learnt about us.' She smiled wryly. 'You see, we'd had a brief affair once before - during my trip to Singapore. She'd known about that but had forgiven him. But, of course, she wasn't prepared to tolerate it again. And in a way, you can't blame her, can you?'
So that explained why it hadn't taken long for the relationship to develop!
'What about the baby? Doesn't it upset Oliver, not seeing his son?'
'He doesn't say much but I suppose it does a bit. Still, I let him think that we might have a child one day.'
'Wait a minute! Not yet I hope! That is not written into your contract, Kate!' I retorted.
'Annabel, you don't need to worry. It's most improbable I could have a child, even if I wanted one, which I don't. I had an operation once, which I think has left it unlikely.
'Well, I am relieved to hear it.'
By her last comment, I wondered whether she'd once had an abortion. If so, then we had more in common than I'd thought. Perhaps I could get her to talk about it sometime.
I too had occasionally doubted my own ability to have a child after my pregnancy termination. It had hardly been done under the best surgical conditions, and my periods since had often been so heavy, painful and, more recently, in total chaos. Recalling the experience and the pain I'd gone through, as well as all the discomfort and dreadful bleeding afterwards made me shudder.
'In any case, motherhood doesn't interest me one bit,' Kate continued, her face contorting to show her distaste. 'Babies are such alien creatures to me.'
I knew how she felt. 'Babies don't appeal to me either.'
Underlying this reply, however, was the worrying knowledge that Luigi had often mentioned that he would like us to try for a baby. Although I felt sad for him because his first wife had not produced an heir, I'd successfully fobbed him off numerous times with the excuse that my life was currently far too hectic to consider it. But I knew I couldn't do this forever. On the other hand, if I was unlikely to conceive also, as a result of my abortion, then I should have no worry. I could simply pretend to try for a child with Luigi.
Anyway, I decided it would be worth seeing a gynaecologist to get myself checked out? My periods were becoming quite a severe problem to me these days and during the past year I had sometimes also experienced considerable pelvic discomfort.
Next day, I booked an appointment for the following week.
*
A stern faced, bespectacled Mr Jacobs faced me across his desk after my internal examination. My heart thumped as I waited for his assessment.
He took a deep breath and, clasping his hands tightly, rested them on his desk.
'Well, Mrs Garibaldi, there is a sizable erosion on your cervix. Also, your uterus has been badly damaged and the cervix is over-dilated. I suspect you had a pregnancy termination at some time. This sort of damage is unlikely to have occurred from a simple D and C. Am I right?'
I sensed animosity oozing from him now.
'Yes... I did, a few years ago. What's wrong?'
'Whoever did the operation my dear, left you badly mutilated. As a result you have, what we call, a weak, incompetent cervix. Its tissues have surgically been badly stretched and damaged. But this isn't my main concern for the moment, or yours I suspect… unless you are desperate to conceive?'
I shook my head.