Authors: Jan Warburton
'I never got round to telling him. Mother and he were living apart by this time. I found out when I was staying with her in London over the Christmas. I never told her that it was Frank and she never knew what had been going on between us. I just said I'd got drunk with a boy at a party and that must have been when it happened. I simply said I couldn't remember who I'd been with.'
She ground out her cigarette into a tiny tin she carried in her bag. Snapping it shut, she pulled the window to. I'd been rendered almost speechless listening to her and I was about to ask what her mother's reaction had been when, sitting down beside me, her good right ear in my direction, she continued...
'Despite her many failings, my mother was pretty decent about it. She arranged the abortion for me through a gynae friend of hers in Harley Street, under the camouflage of a D and C,'
I was instantly reminded of my own ghastly experience, and shuddered inwardly.
'I had one too, a few years ago. It's an awful thing to go through, isn't it?'
'Mmm, dreadful. But one gets through it, and in any case, I had to get on with my schooling, so it was the best thing all round. Mother couldn't have coped with the scandal, anyway.'
'Do you think your stepfather ever did find out?'
'No, I shouldn't think so. Mother and he never lived together again. She was heavily involved with someone else by that time anyway. My mother was a bit of a waste of time to be honest. Not only an alcoholic but a bit of a nympho as well I'm afraid. She's had more men in her life than anyone I know! We don't exactly get along any more and I hardly ever see her. She's living in France now. I saw her once last year and I get the occasional card.' She lit up another cigarette, crushing the dead match between her long fingers. 'She'll drink herself to death one of these days.'
I was shocked that anyone could have such awful feelings about their mother; perhaps it accounted for her attitude to life generally. Her mother hadn't been much of a role model and her upbringing had clearly been lacking in any true parental guidance or care. It made me feel extremely fortunate, but also sad for her. I remembered how aloof she'd kept herself at college. No wonder, with that sort of background.
The clinic and health farm break did, however, help Kate a bit and for a while I think she tried to kick her drug habit. She'd never admit how dependant she'd become however. One slight improvement though, she was eating much better, even if she didn't seem to gain much weight. As a fashion model, it was of course to her advantage to be slim, even if it was, in her case, to the extreme. Nonetheless, she continued to always look a million dollars.
She was still one of the best photographic models around and continued to remain under contract to me as the face of
Silk Wrappings
. More recently I relented a little over her contract conditions, allowing her to do the couture collections in London and Paris, for which she was always in great demand. I knew it gave her a boost to still be wanted on the circuit. Sometimes though, I wondered whether I had been right?
I questioned that, if I had decided
not
to renew her contract, would she have fought harder for work elsewhere? Or would she have gone further downhill instead? Might it have shocked her into taking her life more seriously without drugs? But I would never know, because in the end I did nothing about it. Being totally selfish, I knew I still had one of the most beautiful models around under contract. And I could keep a closer eye on her this way.
About a month after our stay in Holland, one of Kate's model friends, who I was aware also used coke, was found dead from a combined massive overdose of cocaine and alcohol, causing respiratory failure. It received a huge amount of newspaper coverage and shocked everyone who'd known her, Kate especially. Even so, it still didn't influence her.
'I can handle it better than she could!' she retorted, when I tried to discuss it again with her.
'But that could have been you, Kate!' I felt so frustrated at her obstinacy. Attitude was becoming a huge problem for her. I was seriously beginning to fear for her future.
Oliver, however, had been mildly appeased at the slight improvement in her health and eating habits since Holland. His own success working for the prestigious Stendahl Packaging Company had resulted in his recent promotion to Sales Director. Despite pressure of work, necessitating long working hours and trips away, they still seemed reasonably happy together.
He had begun to have his small son, Luke, to stay occasionally for weekends. However, Kate avoided being there for the child. She would conjure up modelling jobs all over the place to escape involvement. Child minding was not her bag and she was also, I suspected, jealous of Oliver's love for the boy.
On the other hand, now feeling much fitter, I had developed a need for closer contact with my Goddaughter, Lucy. If I couldn't have children of my own then I wanted to make the most of my special relationship with her. Vanessa's last baby, a sweet little boy called Matthew, was also quite an attraction. I began to visit them more and more at weekends. Luigi would come too, if he were in the country.
I always checked, of course, that there was no risk of running into Alex first. I'd heard he was currently spending most of his time wining and dining all the most eligible women in Europe and so, nowadays, Vanessa saw little of him.
Two weeks before Christmas there was to be another party at Daniel's flat.
'Coming?' Daniel had perched himself on the edge of my desk. He wasn't looking any healthier. His hair wanted cutting and he needed a damned good wash. A greasy tendril flopped over his brow.
'Sorry Daniel, Luigi's due home tonight.' I was relieved I could excuse myself.
'Shame. It'll be a good bash. Should have some great stuff too. Not to worry. I'll ring Kate and some of the other girls.' He leaned across to pick up my phone.
I instantly saw red.
'Hey, not on my time! Arrange your social life
out
of work hours, if you don't mind!'
What made me speak to him that way I don't know, but it stopped him in his tracks. Flicking back his hair he gave me a halting glare, slid of the desk and walked off.
I called after him. 'By the way, Kate left for Ceylon with Jake today on a shoot, so no point in ringing her. Here, don't forget these!' I held up three sketches from the new collection for which patterns needed cutting. He came back, took the sketches, and left.
That night Daniel's party was raided. Everyone was caught in the act and hauled off by the police drug squad. It was in all the newspapers the following day.
As Luigi and I sat enjoying a leisurely Saturday breakfast in bed the headlines glared out at me. The lead singer from a well-known rock group had also been found ‘in possession’ at the party, otherwise it may not have made such a huge spread. My throat went dry and my heart pounded away as I read the report. When I came to Daniel's name I pretended to be genuinely shocked at his involvement.
'Oh, my God! Look at this! Daniel's in real trouble!' I handing the paper to Luigi.
He read through the report and then, looking at me, gave a wry smile. 'So! You wanted to lose him. Now he has played into your hands, my darling. You cannot employ a criminal. Possessing drugs is a serious offence.'
He carried on reading. 'See, it says that his brother, a notorious drug dealer, was there. The police must have known it was a good night to hit them.'
My heart lurched. Thank God, Kate was away! Whilst I still wouldn't have attended, feeling the way I did now about drugs, I knew Kate probably would have gone. Two other models were also charged with possession that night. What a lucky escape, she and I had had!
I hoped this development would at last make Kate see sense over the risks she was taking.
CHAPTER 24
A couple of month’s later reports appeared in the newspapers of an avalanche at Klosters. Alex was one of those missing, believed dead. The news hit me as if I'd been knifed in the stomach.
Luigi was in Italy at the time and thankfully did not witness my devastation. Although I was sure I no longer loved Alex the way I once had, the news disturbed me deeply. When I finally managed to telephone Vanessa next day to offer my condolences, I had difficulty holding back the tears.
'But, darling, didn't you know? He's alive!' she exclaimed. 'He's been found! They'd given him up for dead and then a rescue team with tracker dogs found him yesterday! He’s been pretty badly hurt though'
'Oh, thank God!' Tears of relief streamed from my eyes.
She was obviously more in control than I, but then, she and Alex had never been all that close. Whereas I had loved the guy to bits! As I battled with my emotions, Vanessa calmly gave me the story of what she knew had happened.
'Apparently a wall of snow broke off the mountainside right above him,' she said. 'You know yourself, darling, Alex was an excellent skier, but this time he was off-piste on the Gotchna. Pretty perilous stuff, I believe. Anyway, other people on the mountain saw the avalanche hit Alex and the others and sweep them away. There was another fall straight after.'
I shuddered. She was right; Alex was a fine skier, but why did he take such a risk like that … almost costing him his life?
Vanessa continued. 'It must have been dreadful for his two friends, Franz and Markus, skiing nearby. I suppose they felt powerless to help, and terrified that the slightest movement might trigger off yet another fall.'
Listening to her, I could visualise the terror of it.
'Eventually, mountain rescuers, who'd seen it all from the valley, were able to search in the wake of the fall to find them. Amazingly they found his friends almost unhurt, apart from bruises and being deeply shocked.'
'What about Alex; do you know how badly hurt he is?'
She sighed deeply. 'Well, they’d had to abandon searching for him overnight but eventually he was found yesterday morning by a sniffer dog, under about six feet of snow. Oh Annabel ... it must have been awful for him... but, from where he lay, he'd somehow managed to clear away enough snow to breathe. Both his legs have been crushed badly and he's suffered horrendous frostbite. His fingers and toes being worst hit I gather. I can't tell you any more at this stage, darling. Of course, the important thing is that he's alive...'
Vanessa's voice trailed off in my ear. I gulped back my tears of relief, whist also visualising the horror of being buried in heavy snow like that for so many hours. Somehow I made my excuses to Vanessa, managing to ask her to let me know when there was any more news of his condition, and to give the two children big hugs from me. I also promised to visit again soon.
Having known Alex so intimately, the shock of hearing about the accident manifested itself in a weird sense of longing, deep within my subconscious and impossible to explain. I felt utterly confused and depressed by it. I suppose I must have still continued to love him, deep down all this time without knowing it. Again, intense remorse plagued me for destroying his unborn child. Damn, would I always punish myself over that?
As the days passed, the sadness within me gradually faded and I began to muster up renewed enthusiasm for my business. Daniel’s court hearing came up, but for some reason I couldn’t even take much interest in it. To my mind, he fully deserved whatever kind of sentence he was given.
Then to trouble me again, I learned through Vanessa, that Alex was recovering reasonably well, although there was gathering concern whether he would ever have full use of his legs again. They’d been badly broken in several places and were now held together by metal plates and pins. Also the frostbite had been more serious than originally thought. Apparently several toes had been amputated. It sounded dreadful and for a while I became quite depressed again.
But I somehow forced myself to think less emotionally about it. He was sure to have some adoring woman doting on his every need anyway. What good would I be to him? I must face it; Alex was in my past. At least he'd survived. I had to put him out of my mind. After all, I had my life with Luigi and the business to think about.
Following the sensational collection, that Daniel, now in prison on a 2 year sentence, had helped create for me, I had two rather mediocre collections, both of which were fairly well received. However, I knew I still had to come up with a uniquely different collection again. My customers expected it from me, and I had to keep their interest and loyalty.
Finally I returned to my earlier idea of themed collections. The next one was completely in winter white, fawn and black, and I based most of the daywear on softer variations of the safari look, using soft wools, Italian jerseys, and my old favourite, oriental raw silk. Accessories were all in tiger or leopard-skin effect. My ‘After Six’,
Silk Wrappings
range also kept to this basic theme.
To my joy, it was all a massive success.
Vogue
devoted a whole spread to it ... six pages of Kate looking sensational, if still rather thin and gaunt, wearing my sensational designs.
It was a relief to know that I'd retained my flair for style and could still produce a magnificent collection on my own. Above all it restored my credibility as one of Britain's top Ready-to-Wear designers. The previous business with Daniel had jolted me in a number of ways. Whilst I would always encourage a good assistant, I must never allow anyone to take over again the way he had done.