His jealousy was showing, and he forced himself to be quiet. The problem was that having her in his arms made him realize how lonely he had been and how fast he had grown used to having her around.
Ever since their first kiss at Almack’s, they had been together every day up until he left her at Pendragon, and it wasn’t until now he felt whole again. A large piece of him had been missing, out of place.
He knew he would have to leave her again, because his decision was made, and he had no intention of altering it. But now he could part with her, because he knew she was all right.
Furthermore, now he would have a chance to say goodbye to her.
It had been a mistake to leave her in the middle of the night without getting a chance to hold her one last time. Unconsciously he dragged her a bit closer to himself, and she stiffened as their bodies touched. A jolt of need made him hard in an instant, and he pressed his abdomen against hers and groaned as she shivered in response.
Without a word he took her hand and walked out into the gardens, heading for the darker section. As soon as he found a deeply dark corner where they could be alone, he stopped and turned to face her in the darkness. Before she had a chance to speak, his lips were on hers, kissing her like a thirsty man drank water.
The darkness surrounded them and hid them from everyone else’s eyes, and Devlin took full advantage of the situation.
His hands dove inside her dress and fondled her soft breasts until she moaned. His mouth and tongue followed, and he kissed the hard nipples while he let his pants down and at the same time lifted her skirt, so he could thrust inside her so harshly she cried out with surprise.
For once his need for her was larger than his need for her to enjoy it too, and he thrust over and over again, until he climaxed with a roar. His fulfillment was extreme, and he hardly noticed the salty tears on her cheeks.
He took a step back in the darkness, bumped into a bench, and sat, his legs shaking so badly he could barely stand. As his head started to work again, he heard his wife’s quiet sobbing, and he became dead still. Not once had he thought about her. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, she was pregnant.
“Oh, God, Fanny, I’m sorry,” he blurted, full of remorse.
He heard her snort again, a tear-filled snort, and this time he wasn’t as amused by her response as he had been earlier. He reached out into the darkness and found her waist, but when he tried to drag her toward him, she took a step away, effectively ripping herself out of his grip.
“Fanny, I said I was sorry,” he urged as he stood up, trying to make out the outline of her in the thick darkness.
“Sorry?” she asked with a voice high-pitched enough to tell him how upset she really was. “Is sorry all you can say to me? Sorry…”
Her voice broke, and he could hear she was crying again. Once more he tried to reach out for her, and again she avoided his embrace.
“Fanny, my dear, please listen to me,” he begged. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to do this, but it overwhelmed me, and I just couldn’t stop. Did… Did I hurt you?”
He waited breathlessly until she whispered, “No,” and then he took a ragged breath, full of relief.
He guessed he could forgive himself for many things, but hurting her was something he couldn’t live with.
He buttoned his pants, and when he was as respectable as the darkness could allow him to believe, he took hold of her hand again and held it tightly as she tried to pull it loose.
He walked briskly onto one of the walks, lit with hundreds of lights over their heads.
As he turned and looked down on his wife, his gaze didn’t miss a thing as it roamed her person. Her hair was tousled, but not more than one could think it was supposed to look like. Her dress had been torn slightly, and a dirty smudge was seen on her sleeve, but you had to look at her as closely as he did to see it.
All in all, she was in good shape, and no one could tell her husband had just selfishly embraced her.
She kept her head bent forward, as if she hadn’t the strength to hold herself upright and look him straight in the eye. She was trying to avoid him, and he felt bad enough to let her have her way.
They strolled along the dimly lit walk until they were almost to the dance floor and meeting other couples enjoying the evening in the gardens.
They stopped, and Devlin put his finger under Fanny’s chin, forcing her to lift her head up so he could look into her beloved face one last time. Her lovely eyes were the same color as rain clouds as they looked into his with a sadness that almost made him drag her into his arms again, to hold her close and never let her go.
But he couldn’t do it to her. He wanted her to be happy. Furthermore, he wanted the child she carried to be happy.
“I’m so sorry, my darling,” he said softly, his fingers stroking her peachy cheek. “I never meant to hurt you as I did.”
She bent her head and leaned closer to his hand until her cheek rested in the palm of his hand. She closed her eyes, and a single tear ran down her cheek and landed on the tip of his finger.
He withdrew his hand and gave her a sad smile before he slowly planted a soft kiss on her lips.
“How are you doing?” he asked, as his warm eyes melted the last of her resistance.
“Not fine,” she whispered. “My husband left me.”
“What a bastard,” he replied with a wry smile.
“He’s not a bastard. He’s just a bit simpleminded.”
“Simpleminded? What if all he wants is for his wife to be happy?”
“By staying away?”
“Sometimes staying away is better than staying put.”
She snorted, this time accompanied with a roll of her eyes, and he had no doubts about her having another opinion. Not that it mattered to him. He knew what his father had been like, and she didn’t. There was no way she ever could understand his point of view, especially as she was surrounded by her large, loving family.
He looked down at her, absorbing every piece of her for the last time, to keep it deep inside of his heart forever. “I’ll try to stay out of your way,” he whispered hoarsely. “Meeting like this isn’t good for any of us, and I thank the Lord the Season is almost over.”
Fanny grabbed his arm. “Devlin, don’t,” she cried openly, with her face again covered with tears.
He tensed and felt a pain in his chest he’d never felt before. Before he could change his mind, he gently removed her hands and, with a small bow, turned and left her standing there alone.
“Please…”
Her deep sobs cut through his heart, and for a last time he hesitated, but the image of his father flashed before his eyes, and he took one ragged breath before he continued on his way. Dazed, he walked through the big-eyed crowd, not stopping for the angry voices of Rake and Sin, or the pleading voice of Maria Ashton.
He didn’t stop until he reached his carriage, where he sat on the velvety cushions and was whisked away. Not until he had left Vauxhall Gardens far behind him did he hide his face in his hands with a groan. His large shoulders shook with every gut-wrenching sob that went through his body.
Chapter 31
Fanny stood motionless, staring at the back of her disappearing husband.
He had left her.
Again.
But this time she wasn’t mortified. No, this time she was furious. She harshly wiped away the tears from her cheeks, breathing deeply as she tried to soothe the wrath rising inside of her.
The fool!
The stupid, irrational, simpleminded fool!
So he was going to play the part of a martyr, was he? Well, he could forget it, because she wasn’t going to let him.
When Devlin was out of sight, she grabbed her skirts and hurried away. Rake and Sin were arguing in lowered voices about who was going to follow Devlin and who was going to take her home.
As she joined them, they stopped their bantering and looked at her with so much pity she nearly started to cry again. But she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath so she wouldn’t make a fool of herself in front of everyone.
She could feel the eyes of the crowd taking in her person. Some were gloating, some pitied her, and there were some who were simply bored. She knew she was the talk of the
ton
, and it was something she could use.
She was going to make her husband suffer harshly before she let him come crawling back to her and beg her for mercy.
“Fanny, please tell me you’re all right,” Sin said. “I’ll kill the man if he hurt you.”
“I’m fine,” she replied, giving her brother a tight smile to ease the frown on his handsome face. Unfortunately she succeeded only in making it deeper.
Rake took her hand, forcing her to look at him. “You don’t look fine, sweet pea. You look like he dragged you through the bushes. If he did anything to you, harmed you in any way, you have to tell us immediately, and we will avenge you.”
Well, she wasn’t about to tell them about Devlin’s selfish act toward her, so instead she asked if they could leave the gardens for the night, and before she knew it she sat in their carriage, heading homeward.
“I have thought about it,” Rake said, as they crossed the Thames. “And I think we will have to kidnap him.”
“What?” Sin and Fanny replied in unison.
“Are you crazy?” Sin followed up.
Rake shook his head. “No, I’m not, because it is the only way he can’t ignore us, or Fanny.”
“I still don’t like it,” Sin grumbled. “Hereford would be furious, and a furious man doesn’t listen to his wife. He beats her.”
“He wouldn’t beat me,” Fanny interrupted harshly.
“How can you be so sure he wouldn’t?” Sin asked, and gave her a very brotherly look of impatience.
“He isn’t the wife-beating type.” Rake agreed with his niece before she could hurl herself at her brother.
“I still think kidnapping is a stupid idea,” Sin muttered.
“So tell me, mister-against-everything, what
your
big plan is?” Rake asked patronizingly, leaning back with his arms crossed before his chest.
Sin bestowed on his uncle an ugly face and turned to his sister. “I think you will have to seduce him.”
“No,” Rake said matter-of-factly.
“Why not?”
“Because it would be too easy for her, as he’s desperately in love with her, and he would probably let himself forget all about his troubled past so he could spend more time in her arms. Then he would just shake it off and tell her goodbye again.”
“How silly,” Sin snarled.
“Maybe, but it’s still the truth. We do need a better plan, something to make him understand he don’t want to spend the rest of his life without Fanny. I’m sorry to say this, but he can get his bodily needs seen to by any woman. It is the heart we need to touch.”
Rake could see Fanny agreed with him, as she was too aware of how Devlin would have no problems finding a mistress, or any woman who would gladly spend a night with him. He was, after all, the very handsome and magnificent Duke of Hereford, and even though he was off the marriage market he still would be a trophy for any woman to take to bed.
“I see your point,” Sin admitted. “But I’m still not up for the kidnapping, as I think it is not the way to catch this bird.”
“I guess you’re right,” Rake gave in, and both men sat silent, ransacking their heads for any good ideas, until the carriage stopped in front of their townhouse at Berkeley Square.
As the hour was late, the house lay empty and silent, and only Butler was still awake. He immediately understood the need of some privacy for the three of them and ushered them into the library, where a roaring fire warmed the chill out of them. A large tray with tea was brought to them before Butler closed the door behind him.
Sin and Fanny sat down in the cozy armchairs in front of the fire and sipped their hot tea. Rake grabbed a sandwich and walked over to the large bay window to gaze at the quiet square outside.
“What do you want to do, Fanny?” he asked, breaking the silence.
She looked up at him and shrugged lightly as he turned to glance at her, waiting for her answer. “Not kidnap or seduce him,” she acknowledged with a small smile, and Rake grinned back, relieved she was still able to make a joke.
Sin obviously felt the same way and gave his sister a reluctant grin. “So, sister dear, if you’re still up to it, how shall we approach the moron?”
“Oh, I’m up to it. Believe me, I’m more than up to it,” Fanny said, her determination shining through.
“Really?” Rake was astonished. “You sound like you are ready to fight for this.”
“Yes I am ready, and I’m ready to fight in quite as ugly a manner as necessary to gain what I want, which is my husband back at my side.”
“Really?” Sin echoed, just as astonished as Rake.
This was a part of his sister he’d never met before, as she was usually all soft and sweet. Now she seemed made of steel.
Fanny leaned forward until her nose almost touched Sin’s. “I mean war,” she growled.
“Yes!”
“Sin, she’s serious.” Rake frowned.
“And so? I sure want to go to war. I’m sick and tired of staying here, drying up all the shed tears. I must admit I much prefer to do something rather than just sit around and wait for the bloody fool to have a change of heart.”
“Thank you,” Fanny murmured lovingly to her brother.
“Fanny, are you sure?” her doubting uncle asked, still frowning all over his handsome face.
“Yes, Uncle Rake, I couldn’t be more sure,” she reassured him, trying to put all the determination she felt into her words. “I can’t sit around here and let him go on with his life. Sooner or later we both will get used to our different kind of life, and then it will be too late. I have to act now, before he gets over me.”
“He will never get over you.”
“But he will learn how to live without me.”
She had a point there, Rake had to admit. Misery always seemed endless when you were deep in it, but it would fade as time went by. Eventually it would only be a sour taste now and then.