Fanny opened her mouth to tell her godfather what she really thought about Devlin’s plan for the outcome, but she closed it again.
This whole scheme had come to a horrible end, and maybe it would have been better if she had done what she’d thought in the first place—get Devlin alone and sit on him until he listened to what she had to say.
But her family had kept showering her with their grand ideas and intriguing schemes. They thought Devlin should realize his faults by himself, so that he would be the one to come to her and apologize, not the other way around. She had liked that thought, but now doubt was slowly wheezing its way in.
She loved her family with all her heart, but she loved Devlin too, and the one thing she wanted most in the world was to have Devlin back, to continue with their lives at Pendragon, and to give birth to so many children Mrs. Blair would faint with sheer happiness.
As if on cue, the baby moved perceptibly inside her for the first time, and tears filled her eyes. Had she been so eager to listen to her relatives that she had forgotten all about Devlin?
Her parents and Rake had been there when Devlin left her at Pendragon, and they had immediately taken over, rushing her down to Chester Park, figuring out what to do.
She had lived in a daze until she met Devlin at Vauxhall Gardens and all the small pieces of her life had come together again in his arms. She felt complete with him, and without him she was a mess in the hands of her overprotective family, who would do anything for her, especially anything they thought was best for her.
She was a grown woman and a married one, and she should know by herself what to do. What if she had been alone with Devlin at Pendragon when she realized she was pregnant? Well, to begin with, she wouldn’t have realized it until some time later, but if Devlin had left her then, she would have followed him and told him exactly what she thought of him and his plans.
She would never have gone to London, would never have made the whole
ton
think she was a loose woman. No, she more than likely would have locked herself in a room with Devlin, refusing to open the door until he told her he loved her more than anything and would never leave her again.
She had let her relatives undo the thing that was
her
new family, the family she now had with Devlin, and the small baby inside her. Those two were everything she needed and everything she wanted.
She closed her eyes and decided that from this day forward she would take care of this family by herself. No more helping relatives, best friends, or godfathers.
She was going to go to her husband and beg him to take her back. She would beg him on her bare knees if she had to, as long as he held her once more and told her he would love her forever and would never, ever let her go.
Chapter 34
Devlin stood silently in the darkness of Green Park, waiting for the others to arrive.
He felt numb, like nothing mattered anymore.
All he wanted was to get it all done with, to end his life so the misery that had been his constant companion lately would be over, and thus make sure Fanny could go on with her life.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was ready to die.
“Please don’t.”
It was amazing; he could actually hear her voice. It was so real, almost as if she were there with him on the dewy lawn.
“Devlin?”
This time her voice was closer, as though she was standing beside him, and he opened his eyes and looked at his wife, who did indeed stand there, nervously wringing her hands, looking tired and worn.
He smiled at her with genuine delight at first, but when she just looked at him seriously with tear-filled eyes, the smile faded away, and he realized she wasn’t something from his imagination— she was real and she was there.
With him.
In the park.
In the middle of the night.
“What on earth are you doing here in the middle of the night? My God, Fanny, are you out of your mind? Don’t you know how many villains roam the streets of London during the nightly hours?”
He took the few steps to her and grabbed her wringing hands in his. He could feel her shiver, and he glared at her. “You’re freezing,” he said accusingly, and she frowned at him.
“My freezing is not important,” she objected in a shaky, angry voice. “You are what is important, and I won’t have it.”
He looked at her, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You wanting to get yourself killed is important, not my freezing.”
“Ho-how did you…”
“I’m your bloody wife,” she said between her teeth. “I’m supposed to know what you are up to.”
He let go of her hands and took a step back to clear his mind.
How could she know?
Who could have told her about his plans?
Nobody—he answered his own question—because nobody knew about his plan to not shoot Graywood. She had figured it out all by herself, and for a second love and pride swelled his heart. But it passed quickly, and the numbness took over again.
“You should be happy,” he snarled. “Graywood will still be alive.”
“I don’t care about Graywood,” she cried out, obviously running out of patience with him.
“But I do. Graywood is the one you chose, the one you spread your legs for. He is the one who will have everything I ever wanted, as soon as I am no longer around.”
“So stay and take it for yourself.”
“It’s too late for that,” he whispered. “I already accepted the duel, and I can’t kill him, as he’s my friend and, furthermore, the man you want to spend your life with. I’m doing this for you, Fanny. Can’t you just accept it?”
Instead of looking thankful, she stared at him with a strange mix of astonishment, laughter, outrage, and pity. “Do you think I want you dead?” she gasped.
“Of course not, you’re not that kind of person, but this way you will get a happy life, and I don’t have to live watching you from the side.”
“So don’t.”
He looked at her bewildered, not understanding what she meant.
“Don’t watch me from afar. Live with me, instead. Spend the rest of your life with me. Let me make you happy.”
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I have to face Graywood.”
“Why?”
“Why?!” he bellowed. “Because he has had you. He has made love to you. Kissed you…”
His voice broke, and he turned around again, trying to hide his tears from her. He felt her hand on his back, and he took another step to get away from her, but she followed, and this time she quickly scooted around him and found her way into his arms, where she hugged him closely so he couldn’t get away.
At first he was stiff, as welcoming as a plank, trying to force himself to mentally ignore her, but her touch and her scent sent shivers through his body, and with a deep sigh he gave in and folded his arms around her. He pressed her even closer to him before he buried his face in her hair, smelling the wonderful familiar scent of her.
“I love you,” she whispered into his chest.
“I know,” he admitted, while kissing her forehead.
“Do you?”
“Why, yes… At least, I think you do. Don’t you?”
“I just said I did.”
“Ah, yes, then I believe you do.”
He thought she mumbled something about him being stupid, but he wasn’t sure, and he wasn’t going to ask her. They stood silently hugging each other tightly for a while, enjoying the familiarity of it.
“So the duel with Graywood is just because of me?” Fanny asked quietly, breaking the comfortable silence, but she felt the need to hurry on a bit, because soon the others would join them and she wouldn’t have Devlin and his attention all to herself anymore.
“Yes,” Devlin answered stiffly.
“Then you don’t have to.”
“Of course I have to. I have to defend your honor.”
She bent backwards, without letting go of him, so she could meet his eyes. “My bloody honor doesn’t mean anything,” she said disrespectfully, and he glared at her.
“Your honor is important to me.”
“Not to me,” she snapped, and he frowned at her.
“How can it not be? When everything else is gone, your honor is all you have left.”
“No, it isn’t. If you don’t duel, I will still have you.”
He snorted over her illogical arguments, and she had to hide her face for a second, just so he wouldn’t see the smile she couldn’t stop. He was such a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful man, and yet sometimes he was just plain stupid.
“But if I go through with the duel, you will have Graywood,” he pointed out.
“I don’t want Graywood.”
“But why…”
“I just don’t.”
“So why have an affair with him?”
“Have you thought of marriage to all the women you have been with?”
“No, only with you.”
“So, there you have it! Graywood is just a fling. You are forever.”
“But my affairs have been before our marriage. Yours has been during it.”
“So Lady Ashton means nothing to you?”
He actually blushed, and she leaned forward and kissed his lips before he had a chance to stop her. The feeling of his lips against hers was divine, and she had to force herself to end it much sooner than she wanted to. She was starving for his touch, but this wasn’t the time.
“I never bedded Maria,” he said in defense.
“I never bedded Graywood.”
Her confession caught him off guard. “You didn’t?”
“No.”
“B-but…”
She wagged her finger at him, and gave him her best governess look. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Your Grace, for thinking so low of me. I am your wife, and if you had thought about it, you would have known I would never disrespect you or our marriage, and never ever with a friend of yours.”
He had to give her this one.
He had been so full of hate for himself for leaving her he had almost welcomed the rumor when it came, because he could focus on her doing something wrong instead of on his own faults.
He looked down into her face and followed lovingly the lines of it with his eyes. She was so perfect in every little way. Maybe she would never be the beauty queen of the
ton
, but to him she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
“I love you,” he said tenderly, and tears filled her eyes.
“Don’t say it like that!”
“Like how?”
“Like you are telling me goodbye, because you aren’t. You are going to tell Graywood and the other men you won’t be doing any duels tonight, or any other night.”
“Fanny…” Devlin started but was immediately interrupted by his wife.
“There is nothing to argue about. I said ‘no,’ and ‘no’ it is.”
“All right.”
“Really?”
“Mm-hmm,” he said as he bent forward and put his lips against hers, and when he felt her response, he gave her a kiss that curled her toes.
They were so thoroughly distracted by their kiss they never noticed the men who joined them. Not until a very familiar voice interrupted it.
“Well, well, what do we have here?”
Devlin looked up and met the unreadable eyes of Prinny, who stood there together with Rake and Graywood.
He cursed under his breath. What a good spy he was, who didn’t even notice three men walking up to him in the middle of the night in an empty park.
Fanny turned to see what was causing her husband to stop ravishing her mouth so delightfully and then took a step back so she stood beside Devlin instead of in front of him.
She could tell by the faces of her two uncles they were not going to let Devlin get away too easily. He had hurt her and so he should be punished, and she guessed all she had to do was to try to soothe it slightly for him by standing by his side.
“Your Royal Highness.” Devlin bowed politely before nodding sternly toward the two other men.
“Hereford.”
“Enjoying the moonlight?” Rake drawled, and crossed his arms before his chest. Fanny couldn’t help smiling at the mere look of him. He was the perfect dandy, dressed in spotless eveningwear and looking like he should be in a ballroom, not in Green Park in the wee hours of the morning. He, of course, didn’t miss her smile and arched his eyebrow in a ridiculously high manner, making himself look even more a libertine than before.
“It certainly is a lovely evening,” Devlin answered.
“Rather late for an evening, wouldn’t you say?”
“Then I have to say you are up uncommonly early, Darling.”
“As are you, Hereford.”
“There, there,” Prinny said with a jolly laugh that effectively ended the highly intelligent conversation. “Why don’t we all go down to my carriage to discuss this evening, er, morning’s happenings? Oh, not you; you go home.”
The last sentence was directed to Fanny, who had plastered herself to Devlin as he started in the direction Prinny pointed. She stopped and gave her godfather a look that made it clear she was not planning to obey him.
“I will not.”
Devlin stiffened, knowing how easily offended Prinny was, and neither he nor Fanny had good things coming if he got upset with them.
“You will too.”
“You can’t force me!”
“Oh, yes, I can.”
“Oh, come on,” Rake interrupted. “She’s never going to give in, so why not just let her come with us?”
Prinny looked at Rake and sighed, defeated. “I know. I just thought it was worth a try.”
Devlin frowned at them.
There was too much familiarity between the three of them, and the way Fanny and Prinny had been arguing reminded him of her bantering with her brothers and uncles. “Are you related?” he asked, confused.
“Why, yes.” Prinny laughed. “Haven’t you heard? We are all members of the royal family.”
They all laughed at his joke, everyone except Devlin, who frowned even harder.
“No, really, are you?”
Fanny went to Prinny and put her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his shoulder while his arms surrounded her in a loving embrace.