Authors: Kirsty-Anne Still
AUSTIN
was giving up at
that moment. Kept in the confines of the hospital, dosed up on various
medications was finally tiring her out completely. The last five days had just
about been unbearable. She had slept through most of it, but today her mind
just would not switch off. She kept going over multiple thoughts – Tyler,
Natasha, the house, that night she lost it all.
She had long since forgotten about the sun streaming in, the magazines
her sister had brought by,
the
books her brothers had
brought in. Her mind was in a free fall and she dangerously close to slamming
into the ground with brute force. Her mind was mess of thoughts and she wished
for nothing more than to be free of them right now. That or be free of this
life.
“Knock, knock,” Tyler called out as he tried to break her reverie. “Want
a visitor?”
Giving him a bright smile, Austin nodded and pushed
herself
up a little, but admitted defeat promptly after. “Trying to impress a girl?”
she asked as she eyed the bouquet of flowers in his hands.
“Oh, well they’re your
favorites
,” Tyler told
her and then halted, shaking his head. “Were, they
were
your
favorites
. You’ve probably changed your mind by now.”
Austin smiled at his back tracking, “Gerberas, sunflowers,
forget-me-not’s,” She started and looked at the flowers in front of her.
“Baby’s breaths,” she let her gaze raise to meet his and gave him a small reassuring
smile. She hated how nervous he appeared to be.
“Your
favorites
haven’t changed,” he told her
and she laughed a little. “I
shoulda
guessed. You
really haven’t changed at all.”
Giving a little smile she shrugged, “So what brings you back here? I haven’t
seen you around in the last couple of days.”
“I’ve been busy,” he told her and sat down on the end of her bed. “I
know your mom and dad will be back in a moment, but I wanted to tell you myself
that Natasha’s now in custody,” Tyler leaned back into the footboard of the bed
feeling wiped out from all of the emotions that trickled through his system.
“She admitted it all and I booked her.”
“Your own fiancée?”
Austin question dubiously.
“Ex,” Tyler corrected with a shrug. “She got what she deserved after
lying for so long.”
Austin felt bad immediately, “Tyler,” she began, “I really didn’t intend
for this to happen when I called Tom to ask him if I could come back.”
Tyler smiled to repress the unhappy feeling in him, “If you hadn’t, I
would’ve married a liar.”
“But you wouldn’t have known that,” Austin countered his response.
“Ah, but your brother would have,” Tyler told Austin knowingly. “I would
have been a fool in his eyes, if not everybody else’s.”
“I never wanted you to feel like a fool,” Austin told him honestly as
she sat up a little more. “That was never my intention.”
“I know,” he told her with a smile, “Things just turn out this way
sometimes.”
Nodding, Austin gulped deeply, “Everything happens for a reason.”
“Is that what you’ve told yourself for the past six years?” Tyler asked
her with a raised brow. “Is there a reason why I neglected you like I did, or
why I allowed Natasha have such a huge role in controlling the outcome of our
relationship? Or, fuck, how she managed to kill our baby and you ran as a
reason? How about why she had to lie to me and make me believe that she was
pregnant?”
“How do you know she wasn’t actually pregnant?” Austin asked, not sure
if she wanted to believe fully that Natasha had faked it all.
“Well between your brother pointing out the medical records and Natasha
screaming it at me in the middle of the street I think it’s safe to draw those
conclusions,” Tyler told her with sarcasm in his tone.
“I’m
gonna
kill him,” Austin grumbled as she
looked up to the ceiling.
“Kill who?” Tyler asked, and he watched her look at him as though to say
she wasn’t going to tell. “C’mon,
Aust
, kill who?”
“Tom,” she told him and sighed. “The night Natasha slapped me in the
diner and you moved the wedding date forward, he decided he could very well get
the hospital records from here and prove her to be a liar and I told him not
to.”
Tyler frowned, “Why would you do that?”
“Because you moving that date forward proved to everyone who you really
loved,” Austin looked down at her hands as the tears came and fell. “I didn’t
see there being a point anymore.”
“I was lashing out,” Tyler admitted shamefully. “I was grieving and
angry and trying to save face, but in the end I did more damage and I can’t
stop myself from feeling like I’m losing you again.”
Austin laughed a little, “Sad thing is, Tyler, you won’t ever lose me.”
She looked at him with sad eyes and bit her lip before talking. “I drowned
myself in work to fill the void in me. That’s why I became so successful,
because I didn’t want free time in my life when all I could think about was you
and the baby we had made. I couldn’t stop thinking about my family here and all
of the things I had given up,” she dropped her gaze once more and could feel
the tingle of tears in her eyes as they crept up. “I didn’t mean to run away so
cowardly, but I really thought you wanted her, and when I came back and saw you
together with her, it cemented that feeling.”
“Believe me, Aus, every year on your birthday, on the day you ran, on
our anniversary, I hid myself away in the gym so no one could see me or speak
to me. I’ve always been the man that lost everything and that stigma never left
and I’m glad it didn’t.”
“Why?” Austin asked as she finally looked up enough to study his
features. “Why would you be glad for something like that?”
Tyler smiled at her, “Because everyone still knew who I was still in
love with.”
Austin dropped her gaze down to her lap, “That still shocks me,” she
replied in a quiet tone.
“Why does it?” Tyler asked her incredulously, “We were the
‘it’
couple.”
Austin wiped the tears away as she tried to calm down, “I wished to God
I never ran, I wished I had never chosen to leave you, Tyler. I was selfish
an-and-”
“And hurting,” Tyler finished for her. “You had every right to run because
I was the one that made you feel so lonely, and I helped allow Natasha to
spread her lies and make you think that things were more than they were. I was
never attracted to her, never. It was purely platonic.”
“Wasn’t really though, was it?” Austin asked him suspiciously.
“She was the nearest thing to latch onto after you left. I kept her at
arm’s length just hoping you would come home and when you never did, I knew I
couldn’t just sit around. I couldn’t find you because you didn’t want to be
found, and that also meant you were never coming home. I gave in too easy.
Looking back, I moved on for all the wrong reasons. If I loved her as much as I
thought I wouldn’t be here.”
Austin didn’t have anything to say. She just let the last six years
creep over her and consume her. She remembered how she wished she had Tyler to
sweep away the pain; how she wished he would just hold her through the night.
She wanted to hear his voice, feel his love, and now she had it, it was getting
to be an addiction that she was craving. An addiction she didn’t want to fall
for again.
“What’s on that pretty little mind?” Tyler asked her as moments later
she remained just as quiet. “It’s dangerous when you get quiet.”
Smiling a little, she looked at him, and as she spoke dropped her sight
down to her hands again, as though it was an instinctual comfort spot. “I just
realized something,” Austin started and picked at the tape around her IV. “I
mean, right at this moment that is. I just realized something really important
to me.”
“What’s that?” Tyler asked her as he moved to get comfortable.
“If that night had been it,” she shrugged a little, “At least I would
have told you the truth at long last. Even if you hadn’t believed me, I
would’ve finally have gotten that off of my chest.”
“I’m glad you didn’t die because it finally hit me that I had so many
regrets, as I watched Tom and Dean run into the house I just had to follow. I
had to save you to make sure you really got out,” He looked at her as his own
emotions began to take over. He was still so upset and full of regret, so full
of confusion and love. “I ran from the house before the fire broke out because
everything made sense. I knew you weren’t sick or a monster, Austin, but where
my head was a week ago, is not where my head is right now.”
“Where is your head now?” Austin asked almost fearfully.
“With you,” Tyler replied with a small smile as he felt a presence at
the door. He turned to look and smiled as he saw a nurse standing there.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she said as she stepped in a little. “Austin, I
just thought I’d come and give you a heads up that your dressings need
changing,” Nurse Alice spoke from the door way, “How’s the pain?”
“Bearable,” Austin replied and she saw Alice pull a face, “
It’s
killing.”
“You should know not to lie to me,” Alice scolded her sternly and
smiled. “I’ll go sort out your meds and then we’ll get you changed and
comfortable.”
“You’re so hard headed. I don’t think I have ever met a more stubborn
woman than you, well apart from your mother,” Tyler teased her as he realized
again Austin was still the same Austin that she had always been.
“Old habits die hard,” Austin replied truthfully.
“Right,” Tyler huffed as he looked around uncomfortably. “I’ll leave you
to it then,” Tyler told her and got up and gave her a kiss on her forehead. He
felt like he had no right to be here longer than he was. “Your family will be
here soon, but once the bandages are changed you should get some sleep, you
look exhausted.”
Austin watched as Tyler went to leave and she felt lonely instantly.
“Tyler?” she called out to him quietly. She thought it had been inaudible, but
Tyler paused to turn to her. “Can you stay a little while?” she asked him and
then looked down at her hands nervously. “Please?”
Turning to face her fully, he wanted to know if this was trick. He
didn’t know if he was hearing things or if Austin had actually asked him to
stick around.
“I miss you,” she said and broke down. “And I’m scared.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of, Baby. You’re in safe hands here,” He
told her as he watched her start to cry again and he felt stuck to the ground,
not wanting to go over and invade her space entirely when she wasn’t ready.
“You haven’t seen what I’m left with,” Austin told him and looked at him
almost pleadingly. Her lip quivered, “I’m scared of the pain, and I’m scared of
what I’m left with as a result of that house.”
Tyler felt his heart twinge in that instance and he went to sit on her
good side. “You’ve really got nothing to be scared of, Sunny.”
“I’m scared no one will love me when I’m better,” she looked at him
fearfully and petrified.
“Even you.”
As the nurse came back in, Tyler leaned in towards her, “I will make you
see just how much I love you and regret how I made you feel years ago. I will
make you see that I love you, Austin. I will make you see how beautiful you
are.”
Austin couldn’t help but smile as Tyler took her hand and gave her the
truth of their future. She couldn’t deny that Tyler simply being here was
making her see past the wounds. They were older, wiser, more experienced. She
had faith in Tyler, he wasn’t a stranger, this wasn’t a fling – this was true
love.
Tyler could feel Austin shaking; he could see how prepared she was for
the pain, how she steadied herself to look away from the wounds while the dressings
were changed. He, however, had to look. He had to see what that fire had done
to Austin, but even he didn’t expect to see quite such an angry looking wound
inflicted to Austin’s once pure skin.
Snapping back to reality, he looked at her and leaned in. “Hey Baby,
remember that one summer, just after I got my license, we took off for your
birthday. Hit the road and spent the night on the beach. You remember that?”
Austin nodded and smiled, “You told me you were going to love me forever
that night.”
“And I’m still very much in love with you,” Tyler vowed to her in
response. It seemed to take her mind off of the tenderness to her arm for a
moment, but when he saw her squeeze her eyes shut and he heard the nurse
apologize he knew he had to try harder.
As a tear fell, placing its trademark track, he knew he had to up his
game.
“What about our first kiss? My seventh birthday and there was a clown. I
found you in the tree house and we found out it was your brothers who had
called the clown there to scare you. You then told me they had helped you
because at long last you got me on your own and finally could give me my actual
present.” He watched in elation as Austin relaxed some more. “Even at seven you
were still able to steal my heart, Baby Girl.”