A Gift of Grace (18 page)

“You caught her kissing Jake Miller?” Scowling, Daniel repeated the words his father had just said. He turned from the back door of the shop and stared over at the field.

Disappointment mixed with the anger boiling through his veins. He wondered why Jessica hadn’t learned her lesson. What would it take for this child to realize her behavior was unacceptable and was bringing shame to the Kauffman family?

As if it weren’t bad enough that she had been doing work on a Sunday in hardly any clothes, now she’d been caught kissing a boy in the shop at night. She was a bad influence on Jake and an embarrassment to the Kauffman name, and she had to be stopped—if he only knew a way to make her understand.

Shaking his head, Daniel’s thoughts turned to his wife. Rebecca kept insisting the girls belonged with them. He wished he could make Rebecca see his concerns were not only for himself; they were also for her and her future.

Gaining negative attention from the bishop would bring problems that he didn’t need for the family. The bishop would pressure Daniel to get the family in line. Daniel could lose customers if the problem persisted, and the community could ostracize him and Rebecca. Daniel knew he needed to get things under control before they got any worse.

But he didn’t know how to get Rebecca to listen to him. He’d thought giving her the silent treatment would gain her attention, but she seemed just as stubborn as before. She was more determined than he’d ever known, acting as if everything were okay. He didn’t know how to get her to listen to his concerns and trust in his judgment.

“What are you going to do, Daniel?”
Dat
asked, wrenching him from his mental tirade.

“I’m not sure,” Daniel admitted with a frustrated sigh. He glanced over toward the field. “Nothing seems to be working. Rebecca insists the girls are part of the family. She won’t see my side of it. I told her she had to choose between the girls and me, and she still says she can have both. She won’t listen to me anymore. It’s like she’s a different woman.”

“Jessica is a lost soul. She’s been through a traumatic time after losing her parents and being uprooted from the only home she’s ever known. She needs guidance in order to find her way now that her parents are gone.”

“
Ya
,” Daniel said. “I know.”

“It seems that only Lindsay has found her way,”
Dat
said. “She looked comfortable and at home during the service on Sunday.”

Daniel nodded. He wasn’t completely at ease seeing Lindsay in the Plain attire and attending service, but she seemed more genuine every day. Maybe the girl really did want to be a member of the community.

However, he couldn’t help remembering how Grace had left. At one time she’d felt a part of the community too, but then she broke her father’s and sister’s hearts when she left. Daniel would hate to see Lindsay hurt Rebecca as Grace once had. Rebecca never fully recovered from losing her only sister; Grace had broken her heart.

But her pain didn’t stop with losing her sister. He’d seen Rebecca go through more heartache when the doctor said she couldn’t conceive children. If Lindsay suddenly changed her mind and left the community, it would seem as if Rebecca’s own daughter were deserting her.

Daniel didn’t want Rebecca to suffer through that pain and loss again. He couldn’t allow someone to hurt her the way Grace had. He loved her more than life itself, and it was his job to protect her.

“We’d better get back inside.”
Dat
smacked Daniel’s shoulder. “Peter needs help with that bookshelf he was making.”

Dat’s
expression softened. “Everything will work out. Remember Jessica is still trying to figure out where she belongs without her parents. Rebecca has a tremendous amount of pressure on her right now as their guardian. But, no matter what, she loves you. You and Rebecca have been through a lot, and your love will guide you through this. Together you’ll figure it out. Your mother and I faced some tough times when we were building the bakery and the furniture store. At times we didn’t agree, but we worked it out. Trust your love for each other. It’s stronger than you think.”

“
Ya
.” Daniel stared at the field.

“Oh, and everyone is invited to Robert’s this Saturday,”
Dat
said. “It’s his turn to host us for Saturday evening.” He then disappeared into the shop.

Daniel sighed while he contemplated the situation. How was he to convince Rebecca that he was asking for more than obedience to his will? He was asking her to trust that he knows what is best for their family. She had to accept that Jessica needed to respect their customs or return to Virginia. He couldn’t risk losing his place in the community.

More importantly, he couldn’t bear it if Rebecca was hurt again, when Jessica turned her back on her aunt.

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I
don’t see why I had to come here. I’m not welcome.” Jessica stood in the driveway with Lindsay and Rebecca on Saturday evening and stared at Robert’s large farmhouse sitting on what looked to be a hundred lush acres.

The dairy farm had been passed down through Sadie’s family. The white clapboard house was larger than Rebecca’s. Its vast three stories sprawled across the front of the property, while one large white barn and three smaller barns sat behind it, housing their livestock and farming supplies.

A newly painted white split-rail fence outlined the large pasture, and Sadie’s gardens, her pride and joy, ran the length of the enormous house.

“You’re a part of this family, Jessica.” Rebecca touched her niece’s shoulder. “I wasn’t going to let you stay home alone while we went out visiting. That’s just not right.”

Jessica gave a sarcastic snort and folded her arms across her chest. “Yeah. I’m family. That’s rich.”

“Jessica.” Rebecca stared into her eyes. “You’re my family. You and Lindsay are precious to me. I know you don’t believe it right now, but I love you both. I want you both to consider this your home. Please just give everyone a chance.”

Jessica looked as if she was going to give a surly response, but then she closed her mouth. Rebecca wondered if she’d finally gotten through to her.

“We’ll go visit for a while and then we’ll head home. It’ll be fine.” Rebecca touched her older niece’s shoulder. “Just be yourself. If you’re uncomfortable, stay with me.”

Jessica flipped her hair back from her shoulder. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

Lindsay grinned. “That’s the sister I know and love.”

Jessica snorted. “Whatever.”

“Where’s Uncle Daniel?” Lindsay scanned the property. “He disappeared awful quick.”

“He ran inside to get away from me,” Jessica muttered.

“Now, now.” Rebecca patted Jessica’s shoulder while their shoes crunched up the driveway toward the front porch. “Don’t you worry about Daniel. Things will be just fine.”

Jessica stopped and studied Rebecca. “He’s not talking to you, is he?”

Rebecca sighed. She couldn’t tell Jessica the truth and risk hurting her niece or making her feel guilty. “Everything is fine. Sometimes married couples argue. I would imagine your parents argued every once in a while too.”

Jessica shook her head. “They did, but it wasn’t like this. My father never stopped talking to my mother.”

“Well, it’s our way. Instead of yelling, some men stop talking.” Rebecca shrugged as if his silence didn’t hurt, even though the pain chipped away at her heart with every passing moment.

“But it’s been a few days now.” Jessica jammed her hands on her small hips. “It seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Lindsay chimed in. “I’d say he’s being a bit of a jerk.”

“That’s disrespectful, Lindsay,” Rebecca said.

Her younger niece frowned. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, girls.” Rebecca balanced the plate of Whoopie Pies in her hands. “We’ll get through this.” She started for the door. “Let’s go in and visit before they wonder if we walked home.”

They stomped up the steps. When they entered the front door, they were greeted by a group of Kauffman children chasing each other around the living room and screeching.

“
Kinner!
” Robert bellowed from a nearby room. “Take it outside, please!”

The children filed through the living room toward the back door.

“I see it’s a typical Kauffman family gathering,” Rebecca said.

They padded to the kitchen, where the women were gathered around the table chatting. Rebecca’s gaze moved to Sadie just as her sister-in-law frowned at Jessica. Irritation bubbled through Rebecca at her sister-in-law’s expression. She wondered what it would take to get Daniel and his family to give her nieces the chance they deserved.

Pushing the thought aside, Rebecca placed the plate on the table. She then lowered herself into a chair near Elizabeth and patted the chair next to her for Jessica. Her older niece slowly sank into the chair, her expression illustrating that she’d rather be somewhere else.

Nancy and Katie stuck their heads in the back door, smiles spreading across their pretty, young faces.

“Lindsay!” Nancy called. “Come outside with us.”

Lindsay glanced at Rebecca as if asking permission.

“Go on. Have fun.” Rebecca waved her off. She then turned to Jessica, staring down at the table. She wished the women would speak in English in order for Jessica to participate in the conversation. However, they were gossiping about people Jessica didn’t know, so the conversation wouldn’t have been interesting to her anyway.

“Chocolate cake?” Elizabeth asked, pushing the plate toward Rebecca.

“
Danki
.” Rebecca cut two pieces, slapped them on two plates, and gave one to Jessica before forking a piece for herself.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Jessica studying the cake while slowly eating it. She wondered what she could do to make her niece become a part of the family. If only she could get Jessica to feel like she fit in the way Lindsay did.

Rebecca savored the moist chocolate cake. When a hand touched her arm, she turned to Jessica.

“I’m going to go for a walk,” Jessica said.

“You okay?” She studied Jessica’s sad eyes, wondering how to reach out to her.

“I need to clear my head.” Jessica pushed her chair back and rose. “I’ll be back.”

Watching her niece head out the back door, she sighed. She’d give anything to see Jessica smile.

“Is she doing okay?” Elizabeth asked.

Rebecca nodded and forked more cake. “She’s fine.”

Sadie frowned. “That’s not what I heard.”

“Oh?” Rebecca squelched the urge to tell her sister-in-law to worry about her own children and leave Jessica alone.

“I heard she was kissing Jake Miller at the store the other night. Apparently she thought the shop was empty, but Eli caught her.” Sadie’s smile was smug.

“No!” Kathryn gasped.

Rebecca sucked in a breath, hoping the rumor wasn’t true. However, she couldn’t imagine why Eli would make something like that up. “Maybe it was a misunderstanding,” she said. “It’s easy to assume the worst.”

“She was kissing a boy, Rebecca.” Sadie sliced her fork through the air like a sword, sending confetti made of crumbs and icing sprinkling down onto the table. “I think it’s easy to assume what was going on. It seems to fit her after she was prancing around the yard in that little bikini top and shorts.”

“Jessica is a good girl. She’s just trying to find her place in our community.” Rebecca kept her voice calm, despite the anger boiling within her.

Sadie snorted with sarcasm.

Rebecca narrowed her eyes. “I believe she needs our love and understanding instead of our judgment, Sadie. Didn’t we discuss this? Remember—be faithful in prayer?”

Sadie’s frown deepened. “
Ya
, I remember. But I’d say she’s past praying. She’s out of control and needs a stronger hand.”

Glancing around the table, Rebecca found the expressions of all varying degrees of surprise.

“No one is past praying,” Elizabeth said, her gaze fixed on Sadie. “Everyone deserves a chance. We all need to give each other patience and love. Remember the Scripture of Romans 3:23: ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.’ ”

“You’re right, Elizabeth,” Sadie said with a nod. She cleared her throat and then turned to Sarah. “Sarah, how have you been feeling? Did you go to the doctor yesterday?”

While Sarah discussed her latest doctor’s appointment, Rebecca cut her eyes to Elizabeth and smiled. Elizabeth nodded. She was lucky to have her on her side. She hoped Elizabeth’s words would break through Sadie’s negative thoughts about her niece.

Jessica hummed to Nickelback singing through her iPod while sauntering through the field behind Robert’s house. She kicked a stone and wondered how long she was going to have to endure these tedious family gatherings.

She’d tried calling Trisha earlier, but she’d gotten voice-mail. She hoped Trisha had found a lawyer and initiated the paperwork to change the guardianship. Jessica wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay sane under the microscope of the community.

Glancing across the field toward the four large, whitewashed barns, she spotted Lindsay talking and laughing with Nancy and Katie.

She frowned. Her sister looked so in her element and so comfortable in the traditional dress. She wondered why Lindsay fit in as if she’d been born here, but Jessica felt like an outsider.

“Jessica.” A voice behind her startled her from her thoughts.

Turning, she faced Samuel, Robert’s oldest son. His eyes twinkled in the late afternoon sun.

“Hi,” she said, yanking the buds from her ears.

“Having fun?” He folded his arms across his wide chest.

“Yeah. Tons.” She glanced over at her sister and sighed. At least her sister was having fun.

“You like kittens?” he asked.

Cutting her gaze to him, Jessica lifted her eyebrows in question. “Kittens?”

“
Ya
, you know, little cats. Haven’t you ever seen a baby cat?” He smiled, and his handsome face lit up, accentuating that cute dimple in his right cheek. He had the trademark Kauffman powder blue eyes and fair skin.

She laughed, relieved to finally meet a Kauffman with a sense of humor. “Yeah, I’ve seen kittens before. Why do you ask?”

He nodded toward the barns. “One of our barn cats just had a litter a week go. Wanna see them?”

She studied him, wondering if his motive was to reach out to her or if she was being set up to make another mistake.

His smile faded. “I guess it was a dumb question. I thought maybe you were bored.” He started toward the barn.

“Samuel!” She trotted after him. “Wait.”

He stopped and faced her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Change your mind?”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “I’d love to see the kittens.”

“
Gut
.” He smiled, and the dimple reappeared in his cheek. He was adorable.

They fell in step on the way to the largest barn. The animal stench assaulted her senses while she followed him past a row of horse stalls. Horses snorted greetings as their shoes crunched the dry, yellow hay.

When they reached the back of the barn, tiny peeps and cries rang out. Samuel dropped onto the floor, folding his long legs under him. He moved a pile of hay, revealing a large black and white cat nursing six multicolored kittens. The peeping grew louder as the kittens staggered around their mother.

“It always amazes me how kittens sound like babies,” Jessica said, sinking onto the floor next to him.

“
Ya
. They do.” He gently lifted a tiny orange kitten and held it out to her. “Want to hold it?”

“Sure.” She cradled the baby cat in her hands and rubbed its velvety soft fur. At the sight of this new life, a strange warmth and calm flowed through her. “What does life have in store for you, little one?”

“I would imagine he’ll have a full life consisting of living in the barn and scrounging for food.” Samuel nuzzled a multicolored calico.

Jessica frowned. “Scrounging for food? That sounds so sad.”

“Oh, don’t worry. The cats all eat good around here. No one starves on this farm.” He cut his eyes to the mother cat. “Right, Galilee?”

“Galilee?” she asked with a grin.

“Don’t blame me,” he said. “My little sister named her.”

“I always love their pretty coats,” she said, studying the peeping kitten. “When I was a kid, I used to say that God had fun with colors when He designed cats. As if they’re His canvas, and He paints their coats with creative colors.”

Samuel laughed. “I like that.”

Jessica grinned and turned her attention back to the kitten. “I wonder if Aunt Rebecca would let me take a kitten home. I’d love to have a pet. My dad was allergic to cats, so we never had one.”

“I bet you miss your
mamm
and
dat
.”

“Yeah, I do.” Jessica sighed, glancing over at him again.

“How do you like working in the shop with my grandfather?” He returned the kitten to its family. Then he bent his long legs, resting his elbows on his knees.