A Hard Man to Forget (24 page)

But more than anything, Laura felt the pain. She never should have
gotten her hopes up. Never should have dared hope that she’d
found her past so suddenly after so long. If it was that easy, it
never would have taken that long to begin with.

It was a half hour before she was able to push herself from the bed.
She almost didn’t take a shower. She could still feel Simon’s
hands on her and the lingering traces their lovemaking last night had
left on her body. She didn’t know if she should wash it away.
It might be all she had left. She didn’t want to lose that
feeling.

After a moment, she deliberately stepped into the shower stall. There
was no use clinging to what she didn’t have. It would only make
things more painful. For once, more than anything, she wanted to
forget.

She showered and dressed quickly. There was something comforting
about being back in her own clothes. They were at least one thing she
knew belonged to her.

On her way to the kitchen, she noticed the message light blinking on
her answering machine. She’d been too occupied to notice it
last night. Not sure who could have called and not really interested,
she absently pressed the button and kept walking toward the coffee
machine.

“Laura, this is Dr. Walker. I’m calling because I just
heard from your friend Jason Collins. I told him I couldn’t
speak with him about you, but he seemed so concerned I wanted to make
sure you were alright. Give me a call when you get this message if
you’d like to talk, otherwise I’ll see you at your
appointment next week. Goodbye.”

The therapist’s warm, soothing voice was like a balm on her
shattered nerves. Laura sagged against the counter and let the sound
wash over her. The offer to call him was like a sign. She could
really use somebody to talk to. But more than that, he might actually
be able to help her.

Jason’s voice came next, telling her he was going out of town.
She walked back to the machine and depressed the button, cutting off
the sound. Then she reached for the phone.

There was no answer at his office. That surprised her. She thought he
had office hours on Tuesdays. Maybe that had changed. Unwilling to
give up, she reached for the business card she’d tucked away
under the phone. He’d given her his cell phone number when
she’d first started seeing him, just in case she had an
emergency. Back then, when she’d been fresh out of the hospital
and trying to make sense of her life, it had been a nice gesture, but
she’d never taken advantage of it. She hoped the offer to use
it still stood.

He answered on the third ring. “Lewis Walker.”

“Dr. Walker, this is Laura Morgan.”

From his hesitation, she could tell she’d surprised him. “Good
morning, Laura. What can I do for you today?”

“I want to try hypnosis again,” she said without
preamble.

There was a brief hesitation on the other end of the line. “Laura,
is everything all right? Has something happened?”

She almost laughed. That was the understatement of the year. “You
could say that.”

Before she knew what she was doing, she was pouring out the entire
story, minus the more intimate details and the circumstances
surrounding her first encounter with Simon. She couldn’t hold
back any of the rest.

When she was done, silence echoed in her ears.

“I can understand your desire to find out more about your
past,” he said finally.

“You’ve always said that part of me must not want to
remember. But believe me, there is not a single part of me that
doesn’t want to know now. I can’t take this anymore.”

Again there was a brief silence. She sensed he was choosing his words
carefully. “All right. Why don’t you come to my office
now? We’ll discuss it.”

Laura had grown familiar enough with psychiatrist-speak to know what
that meant. He had no intention of performing hypnosis on her today.
He’d want to drag things out and talk them to death to see what
had brought about this sudden change.

She would just have to convince him otherwise when she reached his
office. After this misunderstanding, she couldn’t take not
knowing anymore. She had to know the truth about who she was, now
more than ever.

She had to remember.

SIMON STARTED OUT by driving in circles, aimlessly wandering the
streets of Harrisville. He didn’t know where he was going and
he didn’t care. He just needed to think.

When he finally turned back an hour later, he didn’t have any
answers. He only knew that he couldn’t leave things with Laura
the way he had.

He loved her. It hadn’t taken him long to figure out that much.
All along he’d thought that what he felt for her was merely an
amplified reaction due to the years they’d spent apart. Now
that he knew the truth, it was obvious that what he’d felt for
Laura had nothing to do with Meredith. It was all about her. She was
so different, and everything that generated a response in him was
unique to Laura. He responded to her in a way he never had toward his
wife.

Whoever she was, he couldn’t stand the idea of losing what
they’d found, not when he knew how damn near impossible it was
to find something like what they’d shared. Her true identity
was secondary to that. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to convince
her. But it was far too valuable to give up without a fight.

She wasn’t at her apartment. That made sense. She probably
needed to talk to someone, someone she trusted, about what had
happened. He would have if there was anything he thought he could go
to for something like this.

He tried to think of who Laura would go to. Unfortunately, he knew so
little of her life—so little about
her
, he thought
sadly—so it wasn’t easy. The best he could come up with
was her friend Collins. The idea didn’t exactly lighten his
mood.

He tracked Collins down at his office. The man practically leapt from
his desk when Simon pushed his way past his secretary.

“What do you want?” Collins almost growled.

“I’m looking for Laura. Is she here?” He glanced
around, not trusting the man not to lie to him. Other than the two of
them, the room was empty.

“Why would she be?” the man sneered. “I think I
made it pretty clear I didn’t want to see her again. Weren’t
you supposed to be watching her?”

Simon swallowed the anger churning in his stomach. The last thing he
wanted was to explain what had happened to this guy. “We got
separated.”

“Well, that didn’t take long. Maybe I’ve got a shot
after all.”

“Don’t count on it,” Simon growled. Then he saw the
flash of anger pass across Collins’s face.

He tamped down his frustration. “Look, I’m worried about
her. I think she might have gone to see a friend. Do you know someone
she would do to to confide in?”

“Laura didn’t have too many close friends. We were close.
At least I thought we were.”

Simon didn’t even want to think about that. “What about
her therapist? Do you think she would have gone to him?”

Collins appeared to grudgingly consider this. “Walker’s
probably your best bet. His office isn’t far from here—”

Collins kept talking, but Simon didn’t hear a word of it. Loud,
furious alarms were going off in his head. It couldn’t be. The
connection couldn’t be that simple.

Simon cut the other man off in midsentence. “Is Walker his last
name or his first?”

“Last. It’s Dr. Lewis Walker. His office is over on
Carlisle.”

Simon swore. “What’s the address? Give me the address.”

Collins’s eyes widened in alarm. “What is it? What’s
wrong?”

It was all Simon could do to keep from yanking the other man by the
hundred-dollar tie around his neck.

“The address. Now.”

THERE WEREN’T ANY PATIENTS in Dr. Walker’s waiting area
when Laura arrived, and the receptionist’s desk was abandoned.
She hesitated, unsure how to proceed, when he called out to her from
his office. “Laura, is that you? Come on in.”

With a sigh of relief, she made her way back to his office. He looked
up from his desk when she entered, his round face creasing into a
smile. He closed the file he’d been looking at and rose to his
feet. “Laura, come in.”

Normally she found the sedate office setting and the doctor’s
personal warmth soothing. One look at his smile and she usually
relaxed. Today she was too agitated to be so easily calmed. It felt
like a storm was raging inside of her. Her head was spinning and the
rain hadn’t even burst forth yet.

Coming out from behind the desk, he waved her onto the plush leather
couch. She took a reluctant seat.

“Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.” She
gestured toward the papers piled high on his desk. He usually kept it
immaculate. “I know you’re busy.”

He dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “I was called out of
town unexpectedly this weekend. I hadn’t realized how much I
would be needed in my absence.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling embarrassed.

His smile was kind. “I didn’t mean you. From what you’ve
told me, you have good reason.” He glanced at the desk almost
distractedly. “I’m sorry. I was so busy getting caught up
I didn’t have a chance to get your file. I’ll be right
back.”

The moment he was out of the room, closing the door with a soft snick
of the lock, Laura was back on her feet. She couldn’t sit
still. She had too much pent-up energy. She paced the length of the
office, anxiously awaiting his return.

She felt bad interrupting his day this way. She had been trying to
distance herself from Dr. Walker recently, wanting to stand on her
own two feet more instead of bothering him with all of her problems.
When she’d first started to understand how unlikely it was her
memory would return after so long, she’d decided it was for the
best. Now here she was, running back to him for help once more.

She was making a rotation across the floor when her gaze fell on a
small wooden box sitting on Dr. Walker’s desk. She wasn’t
sure what drew her to the object. She must have seen it on his desk a
hundred times. Something made her pause and give it a second glance
this time, something nagging at the back of her memory. The wood was
faded from years of being handled. It didn’t look quite
antique, but was still quite old.

Laura started to reach for it, only to hesitate when she noticed
something else. Her file, the one he’d claimed to have gone to
get, sat in the middle of his desk.

The door behind her swung open. “Sorry about that,” Dr.
Walker said.

She turned to face him. In his hand he clutched a manila file
identical to the one on the desk. Laura almost glanced back to make
sure she’d seen what she thought she had. Dr. Walker was
already approaching the desk.

“If you’ll have a seat, we can get started,” he
said gently.

Nodding, she sank onto the couch. She watched him carefully. Sure
enough, he slid the folder he’d brought in under the one that
was already on the desk. He opened the top one. Odd.

She tried to shake off the feeling nagging at her subconscious. She
was just being suspicious, overanalyzing every detail.

Dr. Walker took his usual seat in the chair across from the couch.

“Tell me about this...” He consulted his notes.
“...Meredith?”

It wasn’t the word itself, but the tone of voice, the way he
said it that shook the memory loose. She sat there, mute, as the
sound set off a chain reaction in her mind, like dominoes knocking
each other over, until she could see the picture they’d been
laid out to present.

And she remembered.

“
Meredith?”

She heard the man’s voice, but kept walking, not thinking he
meant her. She hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder, wondering
if there was a place nearby she could bunk for the night. Most of the
bus stations she’d been to in the last year had motels nearby.
Unfortunately it didn’t look like this one did. She hoped she
could find something without too much trouble. It looked like it was
going to start to rain.

Even as the thought crossed her mind, a couple of raindrops hit
her. If she didn’t want to get wet, she was going to have to
hurry.

“
Meredith!” the man called again, louder and more
insistent now. She turned this time, if only to see who was making
such a ruckus.

He stopped ten feet away, a middle-aged man with a balding head
and wire-rimmed glasses. He was staring at her, pure astonishment on
his face. She’d never seen him before. An alarm of caution went
off in the back of her head.

“
I’m sorry. I think you have me mistaken for someone
else.”

She turned her back to him and began to quickly walk away.

“
Meredith!”

She heard the fast tread of shoes on pavement as he came after
her. She sped up. So did he. By the time she reached the end of the
street she was running, the pounding of his soles echoing in her
ears. Panic thudding through her veins, she darted around the corner.

Wrong move. She was standing in an alley behind the bus station.
Littered with trash and grime, it was blocked off at the end by a
chain link fence.

A hand clamped down on her shoulder and pulled her around. She
found herself staring up into wide, joyous, unfocused eyes. He didn’t
seem dangerous, but there was something in his expression, something
too manic, that set her on edge.

“
God, Meredith. It is you.”

“
I’m telling you. I’m not Meredith.”

His grip tightened on her shoulders. She tried to shake it off. He
only sank his fingers further into her skin. She cried out. He didn’t
seem to notice. His eyes continued to search her face.

“
Don’t be silly. I would know you anywhere. I’ve
never forgotten you. I was so afraid after what happened. But you’re
here!” His laugh verged on hysteric. “I can’t
believe you’re here.”