“Zeke! It’s good to see you. Glad you were able to make it tonight.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” I said as I offered my hand and a phony grin to my boss, James Roderick III.
James was a distinguished-looking man in his late fifties. He was tall and robust with a shock of thick, white hair. I admired his shrewd business acumen. The man was a fierce negotiator and had an uncanny instinct for recognizing market trends. His moral compass, however, was somewhat lacking. I supposed it was best that he’d stopped trying to play the honorable “family man” card a couple years ago after his French mistress sued him for child support for their twin toddlers. His wife of thirty years was in the hospital undergoing an emergency mastectomy at the time. She eventually left him and made sure to take him to the cleaners on her way out.
I smiled vaguely at the blonde bombshell dressed in a skintight red dress at his side and immediately wished I’d gone with Benny to the bar. I hated this kind of bullshit. Dealing with early mornings, fluctuating international markets, and irate investors was preferable to an hour spent dressed in a monkey suit shooting the shit with a bunch of pretentious assholes I would never associate with outside of the office.
We talked business while his date sipped steadily on her cocktail, alternately casting her gaze from the bottom of her glass to the bar. She had the right idea, I thought as I turned to see what was keeping Benny. It was hard to see him from where I stood. Maybe he got stuck talking to one of the brokers’ wives. A good date would rescue his unsuspecting partner from unwanted conversation, I mused. I turned to say a quick good-bye to James when he raised a hand and gestured for a passerby to join us.
“Zeke, I think you know Clay. Please tell me you brought your lovely wife with you tonight,” James commented, patting Clay’s shoulder in the condescending manner he saved for these kinds of events. James was the kind of guy who barely grunted a greeting in the office but seemed to know more about you than you imagined when you talked for ten minutes at a company cocktail party.
“I do indeed. It’s good to see you, Clay,” I lied.
“Uh… you too. And yes, Lauren is here—”
“Wonderful! I was just telling Zeke….”
I studied Clay while James droned on about God knows what. He was dressed like me in a dark, well-cut suit, and though I didn’t want to admit it, he looked good. Like he’d lost a little weight and maybe even visited a tanning parlor. But he also looked… nervous. The thought alone made me smile. An evil grin slowly spread across my face. I’d been too busy recently to think twice about Clay or Taylor or any of the things that used to keep me up at night plotting and planning righteous retribution. But damn, I enjoyed watching the guy squirm.
I tuned in to the dull conversation about the weather in Texas and a college football game James planned on attending there the following weekend. I was grateful when someone waved James over, leaving Clay and me alone for a moment. The panic in his eyes took on a heightened quality. As much as I liked the idea that I made him uneasy, his reaction didn’t fit a chance encounter at a company function. I perversely wondered what he thought I’d do here.
“How’ve you been, Clay? I haven’t seen you in a wh—”
“He’s here and I am begging you not to say a word, Gulden.”
“Excuse me?” I narrowed my eyes and felt my forehead crease in confusion.
“Taylor is working tonight. Pierre hired him a month ago and—”
“Ahh! Got it.” I smirked, unable to stop my lips from curving in a cruel twist.
“Please. Don’t say anything. I’m—I need to make some changes, but with the baby and the boys, I just—”
“There you are!” Benny exclaimed, swooping in with my much-needed martini. “I’m too short to see above the crowd, and it doesn’t help that almost everyone is wearing black.” He stopped in his tracks when he recognized Clay. “Oh hi—how funny, I was just talking to your wife at the bar. Wait. There she is. Lauren!”
I spotted the pretty blonde woman in a short, black, stylish dress stepping around a waiter carrying appetizers. I ignored Clay’s anxious expression and smiled at her. This was unexpected. What were the chances of Clay and Taylor being in the same room with the two people they fucked over? I didn’t know how I felt anymore, but it didn’t strike me as the travesty it did six months ago. Forgiveness was a stretch, but maybe I really had moved on. If nothing else, I felt sorry for Lauren. At least I knew the score.
Benny was asking her a question about the new baby, but I noticed his shrewd gaze flitter between Clay and me. He knew something was up. I wanted to pull him against me, kiss his brow, and assure him everything was fine. Instead, I let myself float in a strange state of awareness. That silver platter Clay showed me months ago had been shined to perfection and been placed in my hands to do with as I pleased. I could play this a number of ways, but I was torn. I placed my hand on the small of Benny’s back. When he smiled up at me, I felt instantly grounded by his presence.
Benny asked Lauren about a musical she said she’d taken her boys to recently. I noted she didn’t look quite as happy and bubbly as she had a few months ago, but it was Clay I was more interested in. His brow glistened with sweat, and though he made a stalwart effort to pay attention to the conversation, it was obvious he was anxious as hell. I was grateful when someone stepped in to say a quick hello and ended our awkward foursome. I guided Benny toward another one of the partners, stopping to grab an hors d’oeuvre from a passing waiter’s tray.
“Two more quick hellos, then we’re outta here. Need another drink?”
“No. I’m fine. That was tense. What’s with you and Clay? Do you still hate him? I kind of thought you were over it,” he said with deceptive nonchalance as he moved closer to me to avoid an oncoming partygoer carrying two cocktails.
“Nothing’s going on, and yeah… I
am
over it.” I took a sip of my martini and stole another glance at Clay before scanning the room for Taylor. I wondered if Lauren suspected something was up. Maybe she’d been checking out the women in this crowd, looking for someone who stared a little too long. I tipped my glass back and handed it to the waiter. “I need another one.”
“Let’s treat ourselves on the way out. Where to next?”
I pointed to a small group in the corner where the other two partners were currently holding court. “There. Two at once. Lucky us.”
I steered Benny toward my colleagues. After a brief round of introductions and light conversation, we were joined by Stan Berkowitz, one of the more loquacious financial analysts at the firm. There was no way to gracefully exit the discussion without rudely interrupting Stan. And he was on a roll.
“Everyone wants to talk profit, but if stability is questionable, the long-term picture changes drastically….”
Benny stifled a yawn and stepped backward, tapping the side of his glass to indicate he needed more alcohol for this. He slipped away quietly and headed toward the bar. Lucky bastard. It took another five minutes before I was able to gracefully step aside. I glanced toward the bar to find Benny, but I was too far away to spot him. I didn’t really care about the extra drink now, but since I was near the restrooms, I decided to make use of them and intercept my date on the way out.
I followed the discreet signage down a narrow hallway that appeared to dead-end at the women’s restroom. The men’s room was located to the right, down a shadowy alcove. I rounded the corner, pushed the door open, and immediately stopped in my tracks. Two men stood near the long marble countertop engaged in a seemingly mundane discussion. They weren’t standing too close. They weren’t actually even looking at each other. If I didn’t know them I would have assumed this was random friendly banter among strangers.
Alas… I knew better.
“Good evening, gentlemen.”
Taylor and Clay looked up in unison with matching horrified expressions. It was almost comical. I cocked my head and observed them for a moment. This was my first time seeing them together, and I had to admit, they were a nice-looking couple. Both were tall and muscular. I’d never thought of Clay as handsome, but there was something in the set of his shoulders and a confidence I hadn’t witnessed before that made me reconsider. Taylor, on the other hand, was as gorgeous as ever. His thick, dark blond hair was longer in the front and slicked back stylishly on the sides. If his tux didn’t have the mass-produced look of a high-end waiter, anyone would have been convinced he stepped off the pages of a magazine with his chiseled cheekbones and bright blue eyes.
This was an odd moment. The possibility of a private run-in in the men’s room hadn’t occurred to me. My earlier thought that it was time to let go suddenly seemed a bit hasty. This must be providence, I mused, casting a devilish look between them before sauntering toward the urinals situated across from the sinks. I heard whispering behind me and then the sound of running water. Then silence.
I glanced back and let out humorless half laugh. “Well, this is awkward. I’m standing here with my dick out and I gotta think I’m the least uncomfortable guy in the room.”
I finished at the urinal and stepped between them at the sink. I made a production of washing my hands but kept my gaze trained on their reflection in the mirror. They were now engaged in a silent conversation involving subtle eye movement. A few months ago, the intimacy implied here would have driven me over the edge. Not because I loved Taylor or was racked by jealousy. I simply hated to lose.
Now as I turned to face them, methodically drying my hands and glancing from my ex to his lover then back again, I realized I hadn’t lost a thing. There was nothing to gain here. They looked perfectly miserable without my help. It must be hell to be reduced to hiding out in a restaurant bathroom to steal a few minutes alone. The incessant lying had to be exhausting.
Something inside me shifted again. There was no reason to cling to this animosity. Perhaps there never had been, but I’d spent a lifetime readying myself for battle. Usually with those who professed to love me the most. The almost immediate sense of lightness was incredibly cathartic. Maybe Benny had been right after all.
I tossed the linen towel in the basket under the counter and started to move to the door. Clay beat me to it. He stopped briefly to give Taylor one last meaningful look before flinging it open with a flourish and leaving us alone. I widened my eyes at the dramatic exit and then reached for the handle.
“See ya, Taylor. Good luck.”
“Zeke. Wait.” He licked his lips nervously and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I—I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“What happened with Clay. It’s over between us and….” Taylor’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Don’t you believe me?”
“You like the chase. You aren’t in it for love. You didn’t love me—”
“You didn’t love me either.”
“No, but I thought I could.”
“Do you still feel that way?”
I gave a humorless chuckle and shook my head. “No, but believe it or not, I wish you well.”
“I miss you, Zeke.”
The non sequitur was jarring. I was instantly wary. “Really? Is that why you’ve been calling me?”
He shrugged nonchalantly and smiled. “It’s why I’m working here tonight too.”
“Huh?”
“It’s true. I asked Pierre for a short shift because I knew you’d be here. I hoped you’d show up alone like you usually do to these things. I thought it would be a good opportunity to show you it was really over with Clay so you’d know I was serious about wanting another chance.”
I moved into his space and fingered the lapel of his tux before looking into his eyes. We were so close I could feel his breath on my lips and a hint of desire that should have alarmed me. I loved it. I loved knowing he was at least telling the truth about one thing. He did still want me.
“No.”
“Zeke, I….” He starred at my mouth and then leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.
I furrowed my brow and pushed him back, but he was on me a moment later. My back hit the wall as he lunged for me. He crashed his mouth over mine and slid his tongue between my lips like a pro. The element of surprise combined with déjà vu threw me off guard. Once upon a time, we’d gone at each other like wild animals, scratching, clawing, and tearing at clothes in our quest to reach skin as fast as possible. The scent of his cologne and the press of his body were familiar, like an old coat I’d once loved wearing. I sank into the connection for half a second before regaining my wits.
Just as the door swung open.
I glanced at the new occupant with an apologetic expression and froze.
Everything in me went cold and then suddenly boiling hot.
The rush of blood to my head made it difficult to move or speak. Benny was obviously in the same position, while Taylor looked somewhere caught between shock and pleasure. We stared at each other for an awkward moment before Benny turned and walked away.
I was too stunned to move at first. My ears buzzed and my heart raced manically. Benny had to know there was nothing between Taylor and me. I had a passing thought those subtle glances between Clay and Taylor were a setup. Maybe they’d planned this and—fuck. I could add paranoia to my long list of issues, I mused as I threw open the bathroom door and bolted after Benny.
The lights were dimmer in the main dining area now, giving the elegant room a romantic ambience. It also made it difficult to see clearly. It hardly mattered. I just had to find the exit. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the relatively quiet corridor outside the restaurant and yanked my phone from my pocket. I dialed his number as I turned the corner. And then stopped in my tracks.
Benny stood at the elevator with his back to me. I watched him pull his cell out, look at the display and then put it away before stepping into the elevator. The gesture alarmed me almost as much as knowing what he’d witnessed in the bathroom. I ran after him, shoving my hand between the sliding doors at the very last second.
“You ready to get outta here?” I asked offhandedly as though I hadn’t chased him through a restaurant and almost lost a limb prying open the damn elevator.