A Marine for Christmas (Hearts Ablaze: Men in Uniform) (9 page)

Amy stared at him, agape.
  “I can’t believe it.”

“I know I should have told you
, Amy.  Especially before yesterday.  But I just wanted to straighten things out first with Kristin—finalize the custody, figure out where everything stands.  I still don’t even know what’s going to happen.”

“You could have told me,” Amy said, shock still reverberating through her body.  Everything she’d imagined Jason’s life to be was suddenly completely different. 
He wasn’t just a single bachelor living all alone.  He had an ex-wife.  A child.  He had a whole other life that had absolutely nothing to do with her or the life he had here.

“I know; it’s just been upsetting for me
, dealing with all this.  That’s why I don’t talk about it and hadn’t found a way to bring it up yet.  You’ve been a distraction from it all.”

“A distraction.”
  The tears welled up in her eyes as she stood from the sofa.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. 
You’ve been the one good thing about living out here.  You don’t know what it’s like to never be able to see your own child.  Someday when you have kids you’ll understand.”

“
Someday when
I
have kids.”

“Well, yes,” Jason said, looking at
her curiously.  “You teach preschool.  I just assumed—”

“
I can’t have children,” Amy snapped, the tears rolling down her cheeks.  “So yes, I understand unfairness and frustration.  And you still could have told me.”

Jason looked shell-shocked and then seemed to come to and took a step toward her.

“Don’t!” she shouted, holding her arms up to warn him to stay back.  “Just don’t.”

“Amy,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

“I have to go,” she said tightly.  “Don’t bother calling me again.”

Jason watched as she
slammed his front door, wondering how the morning could have gone from absolute perfection to this.  One minute Amy was waking up in his arms, the next she was walking right out of his life.  He rubbed a hand over his face, wondering if he should go after her.  He was probably the very last person she wanted to speak with right now.  Maybe he should just let her cool down and try to talk to her later on.

He’d really stuck his foot in his mouth with the children comment, too.  Of course he’d assumed she wanted kids—she was a preschool teacher who loved what she did.  Leave it to
his thoughtless remarks to hit her where it hurt the most.  He wasn’t sure how to fix the damage he’d just done.  It’s not like he could simply apologize for some mistake he’d made.  Brian would still be in his life no matter what happened with the custody hearings.  Amy could still never have children of her own.  The question was, would Amy be able to accept any of that?

The next few days dragged on and on.  Amy’s students were all eager for the holiday, and they spent the week doing special activities.  Her heart wasn’t in it though, because she was too distracted over her weekend with Jason.  She hadn’t seen him at all since Sunday morning.  He’d tried calling her despite her protests not to and had even tried knocking on her door one evening.  She’d refused to answer, and he’d eventually just gone back home.  She knew he was gone for real now, out in California for his Thanksgiving vacation.  Nothing was worse than heading to work every morning and seeing his empty house across the street.  If this wasn’t a good reason to never get involved with a neighbor, she wasn’t sure what was.  In the future she’d have to only date men who lived far, far away.

On Thanksgiving morning
, she rose early and baked the promised pies for her friends.  Normally she enjoyed baking, and for once she wished she’d taken on Melissa’s job of just picking up a few bottles of wine.  The last time she’d spent hours in the kitchen she’d even carried over a plate of cookies just for Jason, she remembered sadly.

That afternoon Amy
sat down with her friends to a spectacular meal.  Beth and Nick had outdone themselves with a wonderful roasted turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, and cranberry sauce.  Kara and her husband Aaron had brought over some amazing appetizers for everyone to snack on before the meal, Melissa had brought an entire case of wine, and Amy had baked four different pies.  She probably didn’t need that many for their small group, she realized, but everyone could take leftovers home to enjoy tomorrow.

“
Bethie, you outdid yourself,” Nick said as the meal was over.  The group sat around the table in Beth and Nick’s condo, sipping on their wine and occasionally glancing over at Kara’s twin girls sleeping beside them.  Miraculously they’d gotten both of them down for a nap just before dinner, so Kara and Aaron were able to enjoy their meal in peace and quiet.  It was a small break that Amy was sure the two of them appreciated.

“Thanks, Hon.  Next year, you’re in charge of Thanksgiving dinner though.”

The group all laughed, and Nick looked around sheepishly.  “Hey, I helped with all the grocery shopping.  And I did an awesome job chopping onions and celery for the stuffing.”

“Top notch,” Aaron agreed with a laugh.
  “Now how are you at preparing baby bottles?”

Everyone laughed again.  “That, my
friend, is one job I’ll leave to you,” Nick said.  “That and the whole changing of dirty diapers.”

“Oh God,” moaned Melissa.  “And to think Michael and I could have been where you guys are next year.  It’s awesome that you’re so happy, but I was
this close
to marital bliss and just like that Michael took it all away from me.”

“Have you heard from him?” Amy asked.

“He actually called me this morning, believe it or not.  We were supposed to have Thanksgiving at his parents’ house this year, so I imagine he’s still there.  His mother probably guilt-tripped him into calling me.  I hadn’t heard a thing from him since that afternoon he came over to my place.  Remember when I was late to our girl’s night?”

The rest of the girls all nodded.
  Amy thought maybe it would have been better if she hadn’t asked Melissa about him.  It turned out she should have just changed the subject from men completely, because the next thing she knew, Beth was asking her about Jason.

“So why didn’t you bring him along?” she asked, lovingly caressing Nick’s arm and tilting her head toward him as she looked over at Amy.  “He would have been more than welcome—I told you that.”

“Wait—bring who?” Melissa asked, glancing over at Amy.

“No one,” Amy replied in the same moment that Beth answered “Jason.”

“Jason?” Melissa asked, puzzled.  “Wait—JASON Jason?”

“Who’s JASON
Jason?” Aaron asked, confused.

“Don’t know but that’s an unfortunate name,” Nick countered.

“All right, why don’t you two make yourself useful and start clearing the table,” Beth hinted.  “The rest of us are in need of a little girl talk.”

“Yeah, yeah, we can take a hint,” Nick begrudgingly joked, getting to his feet.  He picked up his and Beth’s
plates, then stacked them together, adding Melissa’s to the pile.  Aaron gathered his, Kara’s, and Amy’s plates before following him into the kitchen.

“All right,” Melissa said after they’d cleared the room.  “You’ve been holding out on us, so SPILL.”

“It’s nothing,” Amy said firmly, shaking her head.  “I asked Beth if I could invite someone, and I didn’t.”

“Well why not?” Melissa asked disbelievingly.  “That boy was hot!”

“He wasn’t honest with me about a lot of things,” Amy said with a shrug.  “He wasn’t who I thought he was.”  Beth was the only one she’d talked to about Jason.  She of course had asked who Amy was bringing to dinner, and the whole sad story came out.  She made her promise not to tell the others because she just didn’t feel like reliving it all over again.  Yet now, here she was, having to explain away something she was hoping to keep buried.

“You know what?” Amy asked, looking around.  “I’d rather just forget about it.  Let’s talk about Kara’s girls or what time we’re having dessert,
or the weather, or
anything
else.  How’s that?”

Beth smiled sympathetically from across the table, while Kara was distracted by the wailing from one of her twins.  Melissa looked a little hurt and disappointed that she’d been left out of learning the whole story, but Amy just didn’t feel like discussing any of it right then.  She’d put the whole thing behind her and try to forget the feeling of Jason’s muscular arms holding her close or his hot lips all over her body.  She’d try to think of something,
anything
, but that.

She knew he was back when his car disappeared from the driveway one morning.
  The long holiday weekend was over, and life had resumed to normal.  Or not exactly normal, since she hadn’t spoken to Jason in over a week, ever since she’d stormed out of his house Sunday morning.  Or maybe life was back to the “Pre-Jason” normal.  It’s not like she’d spoken to him much at all when he’d first moved here.  A wave hello here, a good morning there.  She could go back to that someday.  Maybe.

The snow had long melted
, and the temperatures were hovering in the low forties—much more typical for this time of year.  The kids had been bouncing off the walls on their first day back at school.  So was she, if truth be told.  She felt anxious and antsy now that she knew Jason was back in town, and she was certain that she was bound to run into him at some point.  What was she supposed to say?  The hurt and regret she was feeling made just the idea of seeing him unbearable right now.

Amy turned her attention back to the classroom, saying goodbye to the students as the last parents and caregivers trickled in to pick them up.
  She had a lot to catch up on after the Thanksgiving holiday but was hoping she’d be able to get in a late afternoon run before heading home.  Her mind drifted, thinking ahead to the next few weeks.  Before she knew it, Christmas would be here.  She’d barely begun her holiday shopping.  Although the girls had gone out the morning after Thanksgiving, the malls had been so crowded, they’d shopped for only an hour or so before retreating to the safe haven of a restaurant for lunch.

Kara was excited for her twins first Christmas
, and Beth was on cloud nine for the first Christmas she and Nick would have together in her condo.  Melissa and Amy were the only ones not bursting with excitement.  It would be nice to have someone to spend Christmas with, but for the first time in years, Amy would be alone.  Of course she’d go home to her parents’ house in Maryland, so it’s not like she’d truly be alone.  Hopefully her sister would be there as well, but Amy never knew what her sister’s schedule would be like while she was completing her residency.

Amy changed into her running gear before heading out, slipping on a warm fleece over her tee shirt and pulling on a fleece headband for extra warmth. 
She pulled some knit gloves out of her bag and pulled them on as well.  Carrying everything out to her SUV, she drove over to the parking lot she preferred to use for running on the trails.  It was amazing how much the landscape had changed in just a few short weeks.  The leaves had all fallen off the trees, the cold air had the smoky scent of winter to it, and even the sky was gloomy and grey as if announcing that winter was indeed here.  Although she didn’t particularly care for cold weather, she didn’t mind running in it.  Running was a distraction and way to clear her head of everything else.  Nothing else mattered as she pounded on the trail through the forest.  Nothing and no one.  She smirked, realizing the last time she’d come here she was upset about Ben.  How silly that seemed now.  If Jason had done one thing for her, it was to help her finally get over her ex.  Now if only she could find a way to get over Jason as well.

***

Jason pulled his son’s suitcase from the trunk of the car the following weekend.  The little boy stood beside him, glancing around both excitedly and nervously at the same time.  Although Jason’s enjoyment of Thanksgiving weekend had not been without a dark cloud hanging above him due to the way things had ended with Amy, his actual visit to California had gone off without a hitch.  He’d gotten to see his parents and brother, he and Kristin had finally reached a custody agreement without needing a court hearing, and perhaps best of all, she’d agreed to let Brian spend the two weeks before Christmas with him.  He’d had to make arrangements at work to rearrange his shift, but it was all well worth it to spend quality time with his son.  Now here they were, a week later, standing in his driveway together.

They’d always bonded when he’d gone out to visit,
partly because he’d travelled to be with Brian so much.  He’d also been lucky in that his and Kristin’s wasn’t a bitter divorce.  She’d always allowed him access to Brian, even when she maintained full custody, and Brian had grown up knowing as much as he could of his father, even though Jason had been stationed on the other side of the world.

He still hadn’t seen Amy
since he’d returned, and he hadn’t figured out the right way to smooth things over.  Now that his son was visiting it would be even more awkward to go over there.  He would’ve loved for Amy to meet Brian, but now certainly wasn’t the right time.  And hell, he still hadn’t even gotten to take her out on a proper date.  No wonder she thought he was a first-class jerk.  He hadn’t told her about Brian.  He’d slept with her and then made her feel like he wasn’t interested in anything more by leaving town almost immediately after.  He still felt crushed every time he pictured her face before she’d run out the door—the hurt and sadness had been unmistakable.

“Are you sure this is Virginia?” Brian asked, glancing up at him questioningly.

Jason laughed as he looked down at him.  “Of course I’m sure.  What makes you ask that?”

“Well, it doesn’t look any different from California.”

“Maybe not,” Jason agreed.  “What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know. 
Maybe some different trees and grass.”

“Different trees and grass,” Jason chuckled.  “These do look pretty much the same,” he said, glancing around.  He noticed Amy’s car was gone from the driveway, he wondered if she was out running errands this morning.
  The last Saturday he’d been in town Amy had come over to see the painting.  Now there was a definite possibility that he’d run into her since he’d likely be in and out all day with Brian.  He was nervous to see her again, unknowing how she’d react.

Jason had gotten up early this morning to drive to National Airport in Washington, DC to pick up Brian.  Jason’s brother had been home on leave over Thanksgiving and was able to accompany Brian on the cross-country flight.  It had been good to both pick up Brian and give his brother one last goodbye before he returned to duty.  R&R was never long enough, but it had been nice that his brother
had been able to make it all the way home this year.

“What do you say we head inside?  I’ll show you the tent I set up for us to camp out in the living room.”

“With sleeping bags?” Brian asked excitedly.

“Yes, two sleeping bags.
  One for me, and one for you, buddy.  Next time I’ll have a bed set up for you—promise.”

“No, sleeping bags are better!”

“High five?” Jason asked.

“High five!”
Brian shouted, jumping up in the air.

At that exact moment Amy’s SUV came driving down the street.
  Jason cringed slightly at the bad timing.  She’d obviously seen him standing in the driveway with Brian, and now here he was just staring at her.  He felt a slight clenching in his gut as he caught a glimpse of her behind the wheel.  This wasn’t the right time for him to rush over there and convince her they needed to talk.  It would be rude of him to not at least wave hello though.  As her car approached he raised a hand and waved.  It was a friendly, neighborly gesture, if not exactly the way you’d want to greet the woman you’d just slept with.  Her car pulled into her driveway and she stepped out, wearing those running tights again and a fleece-looking jacket.

“Who’s that?” Brian asked.  “Do you know her?”

Jason realized he was still staring, and Amy glanced over in their direction, her brown ponytail bobbing with the turn of her head.  She had dark sunglasses on, so Jason couldn’t see her eyes, and her mouth was set in a tight line.  She nodded ever so slightly at him as she went to the back of her SUV to retrieve her grocery bags from the trunk.  If she hadn’t needed to walk in that direction, Jason had a feeling she wouldn’t have even acknowledged him at all.  Not that he deserved any different.

“Why didn’t she say anything?  I saw her looking at us.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, putting a hand on Brian’s back to guide him inside.

“Why?”

“It’s just grown-up stuff.”

“Like what?”

“She’s mad at me right now.  Now come on.”

“Are you mad at my Dad?” Brian shouted across the street.

“Brian,” he said firmly, giving him a stern look.

Amy looked back at them, startled, her red lips forming a perfect “o.”

“Sorry,” Jason called over, his voice gruff.  He was still holding Brian’s suitcase, and Amy had two bags of groceries in her arms.  He knew Amy wouldn’t yell or get mad at him in front of his child, but this wasn’t exactly the way he planned to smooth things over.

“I have to put my groceries away,” she said, her voice halting.  She bit her lip and turned, walking quickly toward her front door.  Jason felt his heart breaking all over again.

“Let’s go inside, buddy,” he said, looking down at Brian.

“I don’t think she likes you,” he said in his little four-year-old voice.

“You know what?  I think you’re right.”