Authors: Lucy Appadoo
Roberto ambled towards the bed and sat beside her again. “I guess because Luca's been a friend and I didn't want to believe that about him. I didn't want to feel betrayed by a friend I completely trusted. I've felt lost and alone all my life, and I didn't want to go through that again. I didn't need another loss in my life. I'm sorry. It was my issue, and nothing at all to do with you.”
“What happened to you in Italy, Roberto?”
Roberto drew back. “Nothing I wish to get into. Another time, okay?”
Valeria was aware of his deep breaths. “Sure.” Her heart warmed. “And why now?”
“I guess seeing you at the cafe, I could tell you were really spooked. One minute Luca was there and the next minute he was gone. Not to mention Angela seeing how terrified you were. It was just too much of a coincidence.”
Valeria smiled. “Thanks for believing in me.”
“No problem.” He rose and grabbed his pyjamas. “Now let's get to bed. It's been a long day.”
Valeria nodded and entered the bathroom to get changed. She still wasn't comfortable undressing in front of Roberto.
As she was getting ready, Valeria pondered on how gentle Roberto was, and about the way he had shared his feelings. She didn't know how much he'd suffered in Italy, but she did know he at least took the time to listen. The way he’d touched her had caused her to feel something, but she didn't want that. She was here to make a better life for herself. She was completely unprepared to start a family and get too close to Roberto. She didn't want to risk abandonment. Valeria thought about how a part of her had felt abandoned by her parents when they'd agreed to ship her off to Australia. It felt as if they couldn't wait to get rid of her. They never once asked her if she wanted to leave for Australia to get married. She wondered if Roberto could heal the part of her that felt abandoned, or whether he would reinforce those feelings.
Chapter 5
Differing Opinions
Valeria shook with nerves the next morning while eating a rasher of bacon with poached eggs. Roberto refused breakfast so he could meet up with Luca. Valeria watched as he rushed out the door while Angela touched her arm with a reassuring smile. Valeria rose from the table, cleared the plates and washed the dishes while Angela got ready for work. It was frightening to think how Luca would respond. No doubt, he'd deny everything.
Valeria sat down, her hands clasped trembling in her lap. She watched the clock in the kitchen and listened to the constant sound. The minutes passed as if each was a lifetime. Turning to the window, she noticed that the skies were grey, casting little light on the day. She took shallow breaths, and her heart raced. Walking towards the living room, and drawing away the curtain, she looked outside and felt like the waiting was unbearable. Roberto had been gone a while.
Strolling over to the sofa, she closed her eyes and hoped this nightmare would end. She heard a voice, which brought her out of her thoughts.
“You're coming to work with me right now.”
“What?” She noticed his hands shaking, and his face was as white as a sheet.
“Come on, we're leaving.”
Valeria's hands shook. “What happened?”
“You can't stay here by yourself. I think you can go out for today.”
Valeria shook her head. “But where do you want me to go?”
Roberto peered through the window. “Just for now you need to get out of here. Please.”
Valeria's stomach turned. “Look, just tell me what happened.”
Roberto softened. “He denied everything. He said that when you were going to the ladies room, you invited him in for sex.” He paused. “When he was at his table.”Valeria stood as still as a statue. She felt numb and speechless. Her vision blurred. “The bastard called you a slut, and said he didn't want sex. He said he tried to set things straight, that he wouldn't touch you because you were married. He respected that.”
Valeria closed her eyes, feeling sick. “And do you believe him?”
Roberto ignored the question. “Come on, let's go.”
Valeria stood her ground. “I'm not letting him control my life. I'm staying here.”
Roberto clenched his fists. “But you can't stay here. I won't let you.”
Valeria sighed, shaking her head. “I have things to do for the business. Please understand, I won't leave.”
Roberto's eyes darkened. “I appreciate what you plan to do but you can't stay home on your own.”
“I'll be fine. I'll keep the doors locked.”
His face darkened further with fury. “You won't be fine. So either you come with or I will not support you financially.”
Valeria couldn't believe what she was hearing. If he didn't support her financially then she'd have to give up sewing.
“I am not leaving this house.” She paused. “So did you believe him this time?”
“Of course I didn't believe him. I got so angry— I punched him in the face— he's got a bloody nose. He probably won't go to work today.”
Valeria cringed. “So now I can't work from home because of that creep?”
Roberto sighed. “Why are you so damn stubborn—and why do you insist on being here, making yourself vulnerable to him?”
Valeria drew back. “I don't need a man controlling me. I had enough of that from my father. I'm my own woman, and I can fight if I have to. Just go to work and leave me be. Please.” Valeria noticed his face turning bright red and his fists clenching.
“Dammit, Valeria, you are coming with me now!” He approached her and roughly grabbed her by the shoulders. “I cannot protect you. Don't you see?”
Valeria shrugged him off and moved back, feeling enraged herself.
Angela rushed out from her bedroom and intervened. “Roberto, stop it.”
Valeria's breathing accelerated, feeling uneasy by his angry presence. Rapidly, she ran out of the living room and locked herself in the bedroom. Tears slowly fell as she dropped on to the bed. She wondered what was going on with Roberto. Why did he get so angry? Would he have hit her if Angela hadn't intervened? Was he capable of violence just like Luca? She suddenly heard the door slam hard. She then heard a knock on the bedroom door.
“Can I come in?” Angela asked. Valeria wiped her eyes and unlocked the door. “You know Roberto's just worried about you. He never would've hurt you.” Valeria nodded. “He does care about you. He was just—I guess, triggered and maybe feeling slightly rejected by you. You do keep your distance and —I think you could get to know him. Give him a chance.” Angela touched her on the shoulder. “Anyway, I'd better get to work.”She left.
Chapter 6
Close to the Edge
Roberto apologised to Valeria, and decided to make it up to her by taking her to Williamstown Beach. He drove in his Valiant while Valeria peered through the window, observing the heavy congested traffic, wide lanes, and hearing the toot of horns. Her window was slightly open so she could enjoy the warm gust of autumn. She missed the farm, but was happy to be free of the familial responsibilities. At least here she appeared to have some measure of freedom but time would only tell. She was just getting to know Roberto, and so far, she knew so little about him.
As they arrived at the beach, Valeria noticed the swarms of people coming out of weathered brick buildings that looked like rest rooms, running over well-kept grass, and unloading supplies and picnic food near towering trees amidst the cool shade.
Roberto parked in a laneway close to the picnic areas under the trees. She looked further around and saw the flies lurking, the seagulls perching, and families playing soccer or bocce that reminded her of her favourite past-time in Italy. Roberto suddenly grabbed her hand, surprising her.
“Come on, let's go for a walk,
bellissima.”
Roberto said.
Valeria nodded, her heart fluttering. “Along the beach?”
“Of course.”
They strolled hand in hand, looking straight ahead as the sound of waves crashing, penetrated their ears. Cyclists and mothers pushing prams filled the footpath, as well as young groups carrying radios, beach towels, and backpacks. They settled on a patch of sand along the shore while Roberto stared as if looking into her soul. He grabbed her hand again and held it to his cheek while Valeria felt a slight flutter in her stomach. He spoke first.
“I'm sorry about the other day, Valeria. I guess I was just worried.”
“Why? I can look after myself.”
She noticed his frown. “I just wanted to protect you, keep you safe.”
“I'm just glad you believe me now.”
Roberto's body went still, almost statue-like. He faced the water's edge. “I should've realised how he was, but I was blind. Blind because he was always helpful, always there whenever we needed him. He did the right things.”
Valeria nodded. “So you guys are no longer friends, is that right?”
“Not after what he did to you, and lying to my face about it. I can never forgive him for that.”
Valeria played with the fine granules of sand. She looked at Roberto differently. He seemed to truly care for her, and this worried her. She didn't want to risk getting close to him because in the end she'd most likely get hurt.
“You know, Luca once told me how much his father used to beat him. How he used belts, whips, his fists, you name it, he used it on him. All because his mother left them. He just took it out on Luca. He was only 8 when she left.”
“I know. Angela told me.” She took a deep breath. “It's pretty sad.”
Roberto nodded, and then peered into the distance. “He even said his father never wanted any of his friends over. He tortured his soul—but I understand where all that anger comes from.”
“He needs help.”Roberto turned back to her.“Are you okay? You seem like you're somewhere else," Valeria said.
Roberto shed tears. He wiped them with the back of his hand. “I'm just remembering my dad, and how much I miss him. He died so young.”
Valeria took his hand. “I'm sorry. I can't imagine losing a parent.”
“It's okay.” He managed a smile. “It was hard when my mum just shut down after his death. She was in shock for so long, then my uncle came along and made things worse. He was a tyrant. Only thought of himself.”
“Was this your uncle on your dad's side?”
Roberto shook his head. “On my mum's side, but she never saw him the way we saw him. He was god-like to her, but we needed his money. God only knows where he got it.”
Valeria gasped. “What? You think he was a criminal?”
“I know he was.”
Valeria winced, and wondered how he could've lived with a known criminal. There was more to the story, she thought.
Roberto suddenly changed the subject. “So why did your family arrange for you to come here? To marry me, I mean? My aunt never explained the reason.”
Valeria felt cold. “I guess they wanted a better life for me here. Saw more opportunities, and I was the youngest, so the most impressionable.” She paused. “I really miss them. My mum, brothers and sisters.”
“And your dad?”
Valeria shrugged. “Not so much.”
“Why not?”
“He was just a hard man. Not the type to talk or listen.”
Roberto said nothing. A few minutes later, a young man bumped into Roberto.
“Hey, watch it.”
The man turned around. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” Roberto turned away, but the man approached and hit him in the face. Roberto fell back, and the man hit him in the stomach, but Roberto fought back. Valeria's heart raced and she looked around her. “Somebody, please do something. Stop this.”
As she was watching in horror at Roberto's blood-soaked hands, a young boy dropped something into her hand. It was a crumpled piece of paper. She ignored it and saw Roberto crouch in pain. The young male fighter left, and then moved off to pick a fight with another man close by. Roberto ran after him. Valeria remembered the note and unfolded it. She read the note.
I want you to tell Roberto you lied about me, and do it today. I have people watching you and listening. If you don't, I have connections in Italy. Your family is as good as dead. If you tell Roberto the truth, he's as good as dead too.
Valeria read the note a few times, gasping for breath. Her hands quivered and her throat was dry. Her vision blurred. This fight was a distraction, no doubt orchestrated by Luca. She couldn't fathom how she could lie to Roberto. After all the times she tried to get him to believe her. Now she had to tell him it was a lie when it wasn't. Yet, how could she take that risk? Her family's lives and Roberto's were at risk, and she didn't doubt Luca's violent tendencies. She had to do this for Roberto and her family.
When Roberto returned, she slipped the note into the pocket of her dress. He was puffing. “Thank god he's gone.”
“Are you okay?” She grabbed a tissue and wiped his mouth and nose, which was smeared with blood. He didn't respond. “Did you know that man?”
Roberto shook his head. “Just some high-strung idiot with nothing better to do.”
They walked back to the car and unloaded it. They took out a picnic basket, drinks, picnic blanket, and an ice cooler. Their hands brushed, and then Roberto stroked her cheek, looking deeply in the eyes. His lips were pursed and he was nearing Valeria, about to kiss her, but she moved back. This could never happen, she thought. Roberto cleared his throat and looked away. Valeria felt dizzy, her breathing shallow.
Eventually, they sat down on the blanket and devoured the assorted cheeses, cold chicken, tomato salad, and frittata. It was a feast, but she barely enjoyed the food. She was thinking about her next words.
“Roberto, I need to tell you something.”
“Hmm.”
Valeria took a breath and thought about her family. She was doing this for her family and Roberto, so she had to be convincing.
“I—I— lied about Luca. None of it was true.”
Roberto's face paled and his hand shook.“What?”
“What I said about him. None of that ever happened. I lied.”
“What kind of a joke is this? You got me, okay.”
Valeria's heart was breaking in two. “It's true. Luca never hurt me. I made it up so you'd feel sorry for me. I don't like the guy— so I made up the story to get him out of your life.”
Roberto stared at her, his eyes squinting. “You're lying Valeria. I don't believe you.”
She looked him straight in the eye. “It's true. I made it all up.”
Roberto shook his head, frowning. “No, that's ridiculous. I know he hurt you. I know.”
Valeria didn't know how to convince him. “You really don't know me, do you? You don't what I'm capable of.” Her heart was breaking. “I lied to get sympathy.” She took a breath. “I lied so he'd be out of our lives, and it worked.”
Roberto turned away and started packing up the food and drinks. Without a word, he stepped into the car, waited for Valeria to enter, and then drove off in a hurry. Throughout the trip, he never said one word. Valeria would've preferred his anger, but not the silence. The silence was much worse.
When they arrived home, Roberto left her alone and took a walk.
Valeria greeted Angela and Marco who had returned from an appointment. She asked to use the telephone to ring her family, but there was no response. She tried several times over the course of a few hours, but there was still no answer. Her stomach ached and she bowed her head to hide her tears. What if Luca harmed her family? How would she cope? She did what he had asked.