A Parent's Guide for Suicidal and Depressed Teens (40 page)

Read A Parent's Guide for Suicidal and Depressed Teens Online

Authors: Kate Williams

Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Life Stages, #Teenagers, #Self-Help, #Depression, #test

 
Page 208
7. A Healthy Family Shares in the Joys, Fun, and Problems of Its Members
We learn to enjoy ourselves. Our family now plans for sharing and fun, as part of our schedule. We make room in our lives for joy to happen.
Spirituality is important, too. The purpose of life on earth is to adore God and enjoy God forever. To have good and loving feelings is our purpose.
8. Continuity
Families exist for continuity. As our children grow up, the role of parents of adult children is to be a continuing resource for them.
Even though our children aren't done growing up at age eighteen, we don't have to feel guilty. Were we done growing at eighteen?
As Rachel continues to live her life, I see my role as balancing several functions. I am here to be a part of a continuing family unit. I am here for her as a resource person. I maintain routines and limits for running the house. I let her solve her own problems. She makes her schedule, within our parameters. She defines the issues she is going to work on. Slowly she is becoming independent.
I have been inspired by a poem by the writer Linda Wing. It inspires me to be a mother who knows how to both nurture and let go. I'd like to close this chapterand our storywith her poem.
 
Page 209
                       Glide 
Thirteen years old, a summer storm building flat 
sky clouds. I could see them moving, track them 
   with a 
finger, I decided barefoot on cold sand that I 
had to swim across the lake. My mother protested. 
She said there would be enough to do in life that 
   was hard 
without making it up. Thirteen years old, 
changing into my swim suit, she 
took butter off a plate on the table, 
told me about English Channel swimmers, that oil 
   next to 
the skin would keep me warm. She buttered me; 
said it would matter when I got to the middle, and 
both bays were distant grey eyes. She said, you 
don't need to do this. She said, use the sidestroke, 
glide when you can. 
                                           LINDA WING 
 
Page 211
APPENDIX A:
SUICIDE WARNING SIGNS
The writers of the flyer
Help During a Fragile Time,
suggest that there are four especially serious signals:
1
1. Threats or talk of killing themselves.
2. Preparing for death evidenced by giving away prized possessions, making a will, writing farewell letters, gathering pills, or saying goodbye.
3. Talking as if there is no hope, even in the future.
4. Acting or talking as if not a single person cares; completely giving up on themselves and others.
Other signs to watch for (those with an asterisk [*] are the most telling signs):
·
A change in friends or the amount of time spent with friends.
·
Sudden change in behavior.*
·
Dramatic change in appetite.
·
Sleeping difficulties (and too much sleeping).
·
Problems at school.
·
Inability to concentrate or sit still.
·
Confused thought processes; inability to "think straight."

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