A Parent's Guide for Suicidal and Depressed Teens (18 page)

Read A Parent's Guide for Suicidal and Depressed Teens Online

Authors: Kate Williams

Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Life Stages, #Teenagers, #Self-Help, #Depression, #test

 
Page 111
thought we'd see our family but we never did. Soon we were above treeline. The granite mountainside fell away from us into a deep gorge. The trail became steeper and we scrambled over continuous boulders. I was breathless, but the scenery was so beautiful.
It was colder up here but fortunately we had jackets with us. We didn't have any gloves though, like most of the people who passed us. And we were going so slowly. One of us would stop and the other one would go on a ways and then wait. If one of us got too far behind, the other would yell back, half nagging and half encouraging. It was like leapfrog. But when we got within sight of the summit, Devin took off with what must have been a thirteen-yearold burst of boy energy and disappeared. I sat down; I didn't think I could go any further. And then he was back, with my brother in tow who had been all over the mountain looking for us. The rest of the group had only gone half way up before they went back down to find us. Here we werethe only ones besides my brother to get to the top! I struggled up the remaining 100 yards or so, my legs snapping like rubber bands.
In the years since then, when it hasn't been easy going between Devin and me, I've remembered us climbing Mt. Washington many times.
I've had a hard time letting him go to make all the mistakes I guess he needs to make.
He's had a hard time becoming responsible. I've been frustrated and angry with him and I've felt despair about his future. I've worried about him
 
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and I've been scared for him as he tried to move away from me. Sometimes it's been really hard to believe he would be okay. Often it's been hard to trust.
So finally, I got out this photograph of him at the top of Mt. Washington. He's got one foot propped up on a rock like the conquering climber, his hands in his pockets, and his jaw set pretty toughly against the cold wind. Behind him I can see the White Mountains and a few clouds and the blue sky.
CARY WATERMAN

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