 | to a relationship in order
not
to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
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| I ask only for God's will for me and the strength to carry it out.
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| 13. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
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| I work the Twelve Step program.
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14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
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| I actively love myself and my life.
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Private Ceremonies, Visible Prayers
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Once I wrote a short poem about Rachel and her identification with coyotes. When she was seven, she had a T-shirt with a coyote howling at the moon. She wore this to bed every night and it kept her safe. At the same age, she would make a ring of her stuffed animals around her bed to guard hergray kitty, lion, snakes, bears, and coyote. In the poem I talked about her reluctance to grow up. When she became suicidal I was filled with terror that I had somehow romanticized her childhood
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