A Penny's Worth

This work is dedicated to my brother Steve
whose worth is immeasurable.

Acknowledgments

I would like to thank Matt and Michelle Stephens as well
as the fabulous team at
Fingerpress.co.uk
for all their hard work and dedication in bringing this work to fruition. 

I would also like to thank my children Kelly, Alex, and
Jamie for inspiring me and for being the best cheerleading squad when I needed
it. 

Thank-you to all my wonderful friends who have supported
me and have meant so much to me throughout this process with your valuable
advice, support and most of all friendship.

I also want to thank my husband Jack who is the solid
foundation I stand on. You have always stood by me and believed me worthy.

Penny Marins knew early on that her mom had named her
after a small amount of change. She also figured out her mother’s reason. From
the moment Penny entered the world, Dolores had decided that her daughter would
never amount to much. So far, Penny truly felt, her mother had been proven
right.

Penny was approaching forty, had never
married, and didn’t have a wide circle of friends. Not only did she feel that
her name was short-changed, she also felt the same could be said for her love
life. She was ashamed that she only experienced passion a few times throughout
her life, and that had been with the three men she’d been with. It suddenly
occurred to her one day that each relationship with Joe, Edmond, and David had
lasted barely a year. The other thirty-five years of her life had been as sexy
as an afternoon in a dry desert with an old weary camel

Penny despised social gatherings. As of
late she’d found herself withdrawing from people more than ever. She began to
ponder becoming a total recluse just as the phone rang.

“And who could this be?” she mumbled to
her cat, stepping gingerly over him to grab the phone. She knew it was her
mother. Very rarely did anyone else call her. “Hello,” she said as she began to
rub her forehead furiously. She quickly felt a headache coming on.

“Penny is that you?” her mother yelled
into the phone.

“No Mom, it’s not me. I’m someone else
entirely, I just happen to sound like your daughter.”

Dolores huffed and replied, “What is happening
to you lately? I’m getting tired of all this sarcasm.”

“A lot of things make me tired too Mom. I
guess that’s just part of life,” Penny dead-panned right back at her. She felt
a knot form in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to be pleasant but she
couldn’t. She leaned down to pet her cat Bob as he rubbed up against her
ankles.

“Well maybe if you attempted to make your
life a little more lively,” Dolores replied in a self satisfied tone, “you’d
have a bit more energy now wouldn’t you?”

Penny snapped back, “You make everything
sound so easy Mom. Gee, why don’t I just go out and make a fun plan? Hey, I
know, maybe I’ll call up one of my friends and go ice-skating.”

“What friends?”

Penny stopped petting Bob and stood up.
She tightly gripped the edge of the kitchen counter. “Is there a specific reason
why you called me?”

“Yes there is Penny. I’m calling to
remind you of Cousin Charlene’s son’s Communion Party. I know how easy it would
be for you to conveniently forget, it’s this weekend you know.”

“I would rather have all four of my
wisdom teeth pulled out with no painkillers than go to that.”

“Now Penny,” Dolores scolded. “It sounds
to me like you harbor a bit of resentment toward Charlene, come on now.”

“What did you say?” Penny gasped.
“Resentment, are you kidding? No Mom, what I’m harboring is anger. Do you care
that I was nice enough to baby-sit for Charlene and…”

Dolores abruptly cut her off, “You needed
extra money for that fancy car of yours. You can’t blame her for that.”

“Right, my four year old blue Honda
Civic, I make such a statement when I drive down the street. You didn’t let me
finish,” Penny explained in a steely voice.

“Charlene is a perfectly nice girl and—”

“Oh, she’s just perfect. The last time I
babysat for Charlene, she had the audacity to ask me to iron her suit. Perky,
perfect Charlene had a social event the next day and didn’t have time, poor
thing, but I guess you don’t care that she treats your daughter like shit.”

Dolores’ petulant voice crackled down the
phone line. “You’re going a bit too far with the shit thing Penny. You’re
family, and she asked a favor is all.”

Penny knew her mother would stick up for
Charlene. It was what her mother did, stand by everyone but her. Penny wished
she could get used to it already and accept what was, but never could.

Slumping on the couch Penny decided on a
new tactic. “Look mom, whatever, I want to see my niece and nephews, so I will
be there. I really have to go now.”

“Go? Where do you have to go?”

Penny answered slowly, “I am going to get
something to eat, bye Mom.”

She examined her reflection in the
hallway mirror: her fair skin, brown eyes, and really long eyelashes. Her light
brown hair fell to her shoulders in soft waves. She was no waif, but not fat
either. Strictly middling, she admonished herself, that’s me alright.

But her face was pretty and there was a
gentle kindness shining in her eyes.

Staring at her reflection, she said out
loud, “I should quit my mother like a bad habit.” Yet her family, and that
sense of belonging, was all she had. Loneliness would always rule and chase her
down the street right back into her childhood home.

Lately though, a little spark was
beginning to ignite in Penny. She longed to know who she was and what she could
be. It was why she was cranky, it was why she was sarcastic, and it was why as
of late, dealing with her mother was worse than the over-whelming loneliness.
Penny was restless.

Before she turned away from the mirror
she pointed a finger at her reflection and said, “I am worth so much more than that.”

Flat on her back in bed, Penny laid a wet towel on her
head. Jeez, what an awful day. As much as she didn’t want to revisit the events
that had just transpired she could not help herself.

Penny had attended Charlene’s son’s
Communion party and the moment she had entered Charlene’s home, she had a premonition
that events were going to turn iffy.

Even in the crowded hallway she spotted
her brothers immediately. Louis, and Amber, stood in a corner with their twin
boys, Paul and Alex. Her older brother Steve, his wife Theo, and their two year
old daughter Carrie stood against the far wall next to them. They were having a
lively conversation.

Penny loved her niece and nephews and
always enjoyed spending time with them. But both her sisters-in-law lacked
social graces. Being in their company was just plain uncomfortable, though she
did her best to get along with them.

Attempting a smile, Penny walked toward
her brothers. They both waved hello.

“How’s it going?” she offered lightly.

Smiling, Louis put an arm around his
sister, “Hey beautiful. Good to see you.”

Penny cringed as her sisters-in-law
looked her over. She could tell by their expressions that they didn’t think she
looked beautiful at all.

Penny spitefully pointed to Amber’s bag,
“Nice pocketbook. Wow, bet that must have put you back a tidy sum.” She gave a
low whistle for emphasis.

Looking down at his wife’s bag with
narrowed eyes, Louis asked, “Why? What? Was that expensive Amber?”

Amber fixed Penny with a cold stare. “Not
at all Louis, I got it on sale.”

Shrugging, Penny asked with a smirk,
“Gucci on sale? That’s amazingly unusual.”

Theo jumped into the conversation: “And
where did you find a Gucci pocketbook on sale? I want one.”

Bending down, Penny hugged Carrie; but
before they locked arms, she couldn’t resist saying, “Of course you do Theo.”

“I need another drink,” Amber exclaimed.
“Anyone care for one?” She pointedly did not look at Penny.

Penny was used to not being included,
even when Amber wasn’t annoyed with her. Amber and Theo seemed to think she was
invisible. They had decided long ago that Penny didn’t have the same needs and
desires as them. For some reason, on this day, being ignored invoked a quick
bolt of anger within her.

Penny looked Amber straight in the eye
and said, “Yeah, I would just love a gin and tonic. Mind getting me one?”

Startled, Amber took a silent step back.

Louis quickly intervened. “I’ll get
everyone a drink. Steve, come with me.”

At of the corner of her eye, Penny
spotted her mother hustling busily toward the group. The moment she saw
Dolores, she felt a nervous flutter in her chest.

Dolores now stood before them in a navy
blue suit and numerous strands of pearls hung heavily from her neck. The pearls
seemed to overpower her thin frame but still, Penny instinctively took a step
back from her mother’s intimidating presence. She looked past Dolores’s
shoulder into the growing crowd of people to locate her father Ron. He was
nowhere to be found.

Looking at Penny, Dolores stated coldly,
“I’m glad you could make it.”

Penny replied, “Wouldn’t miss it for the
world.”

Kissing Dolores’s cheek, Theo looked
quickly at Amber and said, “Mom, we went over to Delaney’s steak house last
night and I have to tell you, it was as good as you said it would be, just
absolutely yummy.” She licked her lips.

Penny inwardly cringed at the word yummy.
She hated that word. Theo used it for just about everything she ate. Even a
lunch of carrots and cottage cheese was yummy. Give me a break, she thought.

Stepping in close with a frantic look
upon her face Amber asked, “You went there last night? I wanted to go, but we
had to go out with Louis’ friends from college.” Rolling her eyes, she put up
her hands in a pleading gesture. “How boring it was,” she shook her head. “I
can’t even tell you.”

“My night was so fun,” Theo gushed with a
huge grin on her face.

My friends the Rowlings, where there, you
didn’t happen to see them did you?” Amber asked.

“See them? More than that, we had dinner
with them.” Putting her right hand up, Theo added nonchalantly, “Mutual
friends, you know how it is. Such a small world, who would have known that our
good friends the Randolfs have been friends with your friends for years? What
wonderful people Amber, we had an instant connection,” Theo put a hand on
Amber’s shoulder and emphasized the words, “
with your friends
. They were
a blast to be with. Why, I think the six of us should go out together.”

Penny could not help but watch in
amusement. Amber’s face became red at the prospect of Theo besting her. Social
climbing had always been Amber’s sport and it was obvious she had no wish for
Theo to be in her arena.