Putting her hand on Julia’s shoulder,
Penny said so softly that Julia had to strain to hear, “They’re so lucky to be
loved by you.”
She rested her hand on top of Penny’s,
wiped her tears away and said, “Thank you. I know I’m fortunate to have them
too. I do feel a little better and now,” she paused and emphasized, “We have my
shred of hope to share with one another.” She smiled and added, “Now you can
say ‘we’ and it will mean something.”
Penny realized that she had meant
something to this woman and she had, if only for a brief moment, touched her.
She smiled down at Julia and said, “Thank you.”
As she gently arranged a green sweater
over Julia’s shoulders, she realized that she had not made a mistake by coming
to Wayside Hospital. Penny could only hope that she would learn how to deal
with delicate matters regarding her patients. If she could touch someone for a
moment, or even a second, that was far better than never touching anyone at
all.
Penny’s first day of work went by in a flash. She was so
busy that she did not know where her ten hour shift went. Working on the
oncology floor of a hospital was fast paced, so unlike the long tedious hours
she put in at Fernfair Elementary.
Penny met a few nurses on the floor. She
noticed they displayed some curiosity when she politely nodded their way, but
they kept their distance. The doctors on the other hand barely noticed her as
they hurried to and fro.
On her lunch break, Penny had eaten her
strawberry yogurt pretty much on her own. A young nurse at her table was
totally engrossed in having a fight with her boyfriend on the cell phone.
“You slug sucking son of a bitch,” the
girl hissed into the phone.
Penny averted the nurse’s eyes and
pretended to wipe something off her nurse uniform.
The nurse was oblivious to Penny. “You
cheating low life scum bag. You’re a liar, you piece of shit, stay away from
me, I hate you!” The young woman abruptly flipped her phone shut and noticed
Penny sitting at the table. “Sorry,” she muttered as she stood up to leave.
“No problem,” Penny offered with a shrug.
It was the only exchange she had with anyone other than Reins.
At the end of her shift, Penny passed
Reins on the way out.
“I see you have survived your first day,”
she called out airily as she waved a quick goodbye.
And a good day to you too, Penny thought,
already feeling a wave of grumpiness take hold. That woman is really beginning
to get on my nerves.
She passed through the revolving doors
without mishap, and that put a small smile on her face. Any victory, however
small, was good. Then she realized she should have gone out the side door. She
reminded herself not to forget that tomorrow. She didn’t want Nurse Reins to
have another laugh at her expense.
She slumped into her car with a wonderful
sense of deserved exhaustion. Beyonce’s
Irresistible
danced around the
car’s interior. She fished out her cell phone. To her great surprise, her father’s
voice boomed out.
“Penny, are you there?”
“I’m here dad.”
Ron yelled, “Come over to the house and
tell me all about your first day at your new job.” As if reading her thoughts
he added, “Mom’s out with Amber, and Theo to find a dress for Paul and Alex’s
Communion and I’m about to order Chinese. Chicken with snow peas sound good to
you?”
She allowed herself to topple sideways
onto the passenger seat. She was exhausted.
“Penny just come,” Ron pleaded. “I’ll
order the beef with cashew nuts too. I know how you love that.”
Her stomach grumbled and she gave a short
laugh. “Okay, you got me with that. But please order it now because I’m bone
tired and I want to get home early. I have another ten hour shift starting in
the morning.”
Thankfully, her parent’s house was only
ten minutes from the hospital. She walked in without knocking just as she always
did. The house was lit up like Grand Central Station: no partial blackout going
on tonight.
Ron was hunched over the kitchen table,
immersed in a crossword puzzle from the local newspaper. Penny said hello and
he flinched with a yelp, crumpling the newspaper. “Jesus, can’t you give an old
guy a little warning?”
She put her hands on her hips and
declared in mock anger, “I can’t believe you didn’t hear me come in.”
“Ah.” He touched his left ear. “My
hearing isn’t as good as it used to be.”
Her father had lost weight. She’d hardly
noticed it before. His always present pop belly was shrinking and his pallor
was a bit gray and pasty. He was a big man, with a nice head of hair that now
held more silver than black. His pleasant face matched his demeanor. He would
be perfect if only for one major flaw. Ron was a coward when it came to dealing
with his wife. Penny would inwardly cringe whenever she thought about his emotional
distance when he should have stood by her. But she put these thoughts to one
side. She realized with mounting alarm that her father didn’t look so good.
“You look so tired, Dad. What on earth
are you doing these days?”
“You really know how to make a guy feel
good.” He laughed. “I’m fine Penny, not to worry. I’ve just been working more
at the pharmacy. They had to let Dan Feeley go.” He shrugged. “Dan had been
nasty to a couple of customers and they complained. More work for me, anyhow.”
“Too bad about Dan.” She had heard he had
a nervous breakdown but she didn’t know the details. I hope they find someone
soon because you do look exhausted.” She sat down facing her father, her feet
up on the next chair. If Dolores saw her do that she would order her down
pronto. She wiggled her toes. “This feels so good,” she declared, closing her
eyes for a second. “I feel like two lakes of water are residing at the bottom
of my feet. I’ve been standing on them all day.”
“Talk about losing weight, you look like
you’ve lost a few yourself.”
“Do I? Can’t say that I’ve noticed, but I
have been a little nervous lately. I haven’t been eating so much. I was so busy
today that I barely managed my strawberry yogurt.”
“Do you like the hospital?”
“I don’t know yet,” she answered
truthfully. “Dad, the head nurse makes me nervous and everyone seems to know
each other.” She admitted with great sadness, “What if I’m still the person
no-one wants to get to know?”
She was astonished that she had revealed
her insecurities to her father. She’d never opened up to him with this much
honesty; it was rare to be alone with him. Her mother would always hover around
to make sure she didn’t miss a thing.
He seemed as astonished with her
disclosure as she was. He began slowly, “Anyone would be blessed to have you as
a friend.” He gently put his hand on top of hers. “I wanted you to come tonight
so we could have some time together. It’s rare your mother ventures out at
night and I didn’t want to lose this opportunity. I am so proud of you. Believe
me, I know how your mother can squeeze the enthusiasm out of pretty much
anything.”
“Everything, more like.”
He looked downcast. “I should have
stepped in long ago, to stop her from stopping you. I’ve made so many mistakes
and I live with them every day.” He walked over to the sink to get a glass of
water. He continued with his back to Penny, “I should have supported you years
ago, but instead, I buried my head in work. That was so much easier than
dealing with your mother. I guess I kind of gave up fighting too.” Turning
around, he said almost imperceptibly, “I guess I’m just a coward.”
She walked over and slipped her hand into
his. “So was I.”
Her father’s eyes were glistening. “I’m
so sorry Penny. Dolores always pushed the boys to be the best they could be. I
thought she was doing the same with you. I should have been the one to tell you
to go for it. I should have made sure you knew how wonderful you are, and I
should have been your cheering section.”
“Dad stop, it’s not your fault,” She
didn’t mean a word of it.
“You must be very disappointed in me.”
She looked up at him and fought back the
tears. “I don’t think it’s too late to start cheering for me now.”
“I’ll make a really good cheerleader.”
While Ron fetched the Chinese food, she
wiped another tear from her eye. She had never had such a soulful conversation
with her father. She felt a rush of happiness consume her. All this time, he’d
given her more mind share than she had realised. Her heart felt warmer, just
like when her Dad would warm milk for her in the middle of the night when she
couldn’t sleep.
The meal they shared that evening was one
of the most memorable ones she could recall.
She was up early the next morning to walk Winston. The
wind had a bite to it and she watched the autumn leaves dance on the sidewalk
in front of her apartment. It wouldn’t be long before she saw snow on the
ground.
Looking at her watch, she emitted a long
yawn. Five-thirty in the morning and she’d already had breakfast and coffee.
She had to be at work by six. She watched Winston sniff around the bushes.
Someone was bending over a bush just five
feet away, scooping up a pile of poop with an old newspaper bag. Penny’s
neighbor Sarah straightened up, saw her, and smiled cautiously. Winston barked
madly in excitement upon seeing his old friend.
“Hello Sarah, what brings you out so
early?” Penny asked. Winston had begun to sniff Brutus with great glee. She
laughed nervously. “It’s been a dog’s age since I last saw you.”
Sarah smiled weakly at her poor attempt
at a joke, and offered dryly, “Yes.” A long pause and then, “It has been a
while.”
“So… how are you?” Penny tried to appear
interested in what she would say. Perhaps a new reality show had just premiered
and she could get a blow-by-blow description. She prepared herself for another
boring onslaught. Except…Sarah looked wonderful. Her once mousy brown hair was
longer and had streaky highlights. Her eyebrows had been plucked thinner,
giving a more delicate balance to her face. Gods, she was even wearing make-up.
“I’m peachy,” Sarah announced. “I have a
boyfriend!”
“That’s great.” Penny took a step back. A
sensation of shock went right to the very soles of her feet. “How did you meet
him?”
“Oh, at the dog park,” The beginning of a
smirk tickled its way cheekily onto the corner of Sarah’s face. She
knew
Penny was surprised. “You should try going there sometime. I’ve met so many
interesting people while Brutus plays.” The smirk was now planted firmly on her
face.
Remembering her close altercation with
the tattoo lady, Penny lightly replied, “Yeah, I should go back. I haven’t been
there in a while.”
They walked down the street together with
their happy dogs trotting behind.
“My boyfriend is really wonderful,” Sarah
gushed. “We hit it off immediately. He’s warm, thoughtful, funny, and well, to
tell you the truth,” she said with a short laugh, “The sex is mind-altering.”
Penny stopped walking and looked at Sarah
with wide eyes. No point attempting to hide her shock. “Wow, that’s a whole lot
of information you just gave me. But I can see how quickly life can change for
the better.” She could not believe that timid, boring Sarah was having a
fabulous sex life and bragging about it. An awful feeling of jealousy took
hold. She wanted to whirl around and slap that sappy, happy face right off her
neighbor. Penny knew how meanspirited this sudden impulse was, but she couldn’t
help it. She wanted mind-altering sex for herself.
“Life is full of possibilities,” she
burbled on. She appeared unaware of Penny’s violent thoughts toward her. She
spread her arms wide. “Having someone care about me has created a whole new
outlook on life.”
Penny reckoned Sarah’s declaration would
work well on a Hallmark card. She was so ashamed of the thought that she added
quickly, “You really have a way with describing how you feel.”
She faced Penny with a serious
expression, one perfectly plucked eyebrow raised. “Having someone in my life
has changed everything.”
“It all sounds too good to be true,”
Penny said awkwardly, but she meant every word. Winston had positioned his
snout on the center of Brutus’ butt and was licking it with great intensity.
Lovely.
Sarah blurted out, “I have you to thank
for all of this, you know.”
“Thank me for what?”
She smiled broadly. “Do you remember when
you had,” she broke off her sentence, laughed then continued, “suggested that I
stop rabbiting on about TV shows?”
“Yeah. I know I offended you and I’m
sorry.”
“No, it was the best thing you could have
done for me. At first, I admit, I was upset and I avoided you.” She laughed.
“Since now to be honest, but you made me think about my life and how empty it
was. I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. Look how small my world had
become. I was living my life through other people’s dramas and they weren’t
even real. How pathetic is that?”
“Well… not exactly pathetic, and they are
called reality shows. I just thought that perhaps we could talk about other
things sometimes.”