A Shade Of Vampire 4: A Shadow Of Light (10 page)

I couldn’t keep Yuri out of my mind
—not since I left The Shade. I realized then that he was the one constant in my life, that ever since the first day I had met him, no day had passed that he hasn’t been, in one way or another, a part of my life—that was until I became stupid enough to leave.

I pushed back the tears as fond memories of him came to mind, one of my favorites being the first day I met him.

Once every week, my master, the Duke, would send me to market. That day was my favorite, because it meant I could take the long walk past the woods off to the town, away from the horrors of the Duke’s manor. I was his favorite. He never shared me with anyone else, but being the Duke’s favorite was not something to be envied. From the moment I was brought to him, I was pitied by everyone in the manor. I even pitied myself, and I hated that.

Why am I not still used to this? My mother was a whore and now, so am I…
As I walked past the woods that would lead me to town, I wondered why I hadn’t yet resigned myself to this fate, a fate I was sure was my own.

That afternoon, I found out why. That was the afternoon I met Yuri for the first time. He seemed to just pop out of nowhere. I figured he
had been by the nearby brook and saw me walking along the lonesome pathway and he had apparently decided that he had wanted to get to know me. So he just began walking in stride with me.

“Hello. I’m Yuri,” he said, flashing me a smile, while keeping both his hands clasped behind his back. “Might I have the honor of knowing your name, miss?”

I stared up at him and decided to ignore him. I didn’t trust men and he was no exception. I slipped one hand into a hidden pocket in my dress where I always kept a dagger. I was willing to use it on him if I had to.

After a prolonged silence, he just narrowed his eyes at me and said, “So you’re not going to give me your name, huh? That’s fine. Are you off to town? That’s where I’m headed too. Mind if I walk with you?”

I remained silent, unwilling to have even the slightest small talk with a complete stranger. I couldn’t deny, however, how attractive I found him. He was at least six inches taller than me, with a lean, lanky build and a charming dimple that appeared whenever he smiled. His nose was slightly crooked but in a way that I thought added to his charm. He had a certain boyishness about him that drew me in. He was nothing like the Duke at all. Many would say that the Duke was far more handsome than Yuri, who would look like a wimp next to the Duke. Many women thought the Duke was the perfect specimen of a man.

I knew better.
The Duke caused me nothing but pain.

I was so busy studying Yuri’s features and losing myself in melancholic thoughts of how powerless I was against
the Duke that I barely noticed Yuri was still waiting for a response from me. When he didn’t get an answer, however, he didn’t leave like I had expected him to. He just kept walking beside me and talking.

“Hmm… I’ll take your silence as you
not
minding me walking beside you,” he piped up. “We just moved into the village recently. Me and my older brother, Eli. He got work as a tutor for the Maslens. He’s really smart you know and he wants to be an inventor someday. I think he can do it. I wasn’t pleased about moving here with him, but I figured this place is as good as any to hone my art. When we got here, I was so disappointed…that is until I saw you last week. I was hoping you’d allow me to paint you. Is that alright with you?”

For some reason, I wanted to say yes, but knew that being around Yuri would just get me in trouble with
the Duke, so once again, I just kept silent. Again, he didn’t seem to mind. Apart from me shaking my head when he asked me if I was either deaf or mute or maybe both, I didn’t respond to most of his talk. He talked on anyway.

That was the way it was every week. He would always show up and just tell me about his week, how he and his brother were doing, what new art project he was out to do, which new friends he
had made. I would often try to hide a smirk or a scowl whenever he would mention a name that I would recognize—a face I’d already seen at the Duke’s brothel. Still, I never talked to him. I kept silent, and satisfied myself with listening to him—something I found I was delighted in.

I hadn’t realized the effect Yuri
had had on me until one day when I came home from the market and the Duke questioned me about why I always had a smile on my face after returning from my errand at the market. I lied and told him that it was because I enjoyed the long walks.

“Liar!”
He slammed the back of his hand against my cheek so powerfully that I fell to the ground. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Claudia! Ever!”

He put me through hell that night. It didn’t end until I was bloody and bruised all over. I couldn’t walk for days and once I was able to get up and around, every step still caused me pain.

The Duke didn’t need to tell me. I just knew. I knew that what he put me through was a clear warning that I was to stay away from Yuri for my own good. For two weeks, I wasn’t able to go to the market. The Duke sent someone else instead. When he decided that I was ready to go, he warned me, “Walk alone, Claudia. You must always walk alone from now on.”

That afternoon, as I started my trek toward town, Yuri once again appeared. I could see the delight in his eyes upon seeing me. It made what I had to do even more difficult. The moment he began walking beside me, I stopped and turned toward him.

“Please stop. I would much prefer walking alone from now on. Thank you very much.”

“Did I do something wrong?”
he asked. “It’s the first time I’ve ever heard your voice, and you use it to make me go away. It’s a lovely voice. I hope it comes with a name.”

“Please. It’s best that you stay away from me.”

I knew that he could sense something was wrong, but he just nodded. “I understand.”

I wondered what it was that he understood. Did he think that I didn’t desire his company when I actually did? In fact, I longed for it every week…

He handed me a piece of paper. “You didn’t show up the past two weeks, so I figured something went wrong or maybe you got tired of me. Whatever your reason is, I want you to have this. I told you I would paint you. I hope you like it.”

I simply stared at it, not knowing whether to take it or not.

“Please take it. It’s not much, but well…it’s my birthday today. I would really appreciate it if you at least take this small token of my affection.”

I didn’t know how to resist. I was trembling as I took the folded piece of parchment in my ha
nd. It’s his birthday today, I thought. That means he’s twenty-one. Older than me, but a lot younger than the Duke.

I opened the paper up and drew a breath at what I saw. It was a painting of me, taking a walk by the woods, a serene and peaceful look on my face. The girl in the picture looked so happy
—something I was not. I swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears. I knew then that I would treasure that painting forever, and that even if I never saw it again, I would never be able to get it off my mind.

“It’s beautiful,
” I managed to choke out. “Thank you, Yuri. I will treasure it forever, but I can’t keep it. I’m sorry.”

I knew that
should the Duke find it, and I had no delusions about being able to hide it from him, it might as well be my death. I shuddered at the mere thought of what he would put me through for simply possessing such an item.

Shaking, I quickly returned the gift to Yuri. No words could explain how much it was tearing me apart to do so. “Please understand… I cannot keep this. I simply can’t.”

I knew from the expression on his face that he was hurt that I wouldn’t even take the gift from him, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t bear the thought of having to go through what the Duke put me through the last time. My body might still be able to handle it, but my mind would not.

Yuri took the piece of paper from me and nodded. “I understand.”

Do you? Do you really understand?
I nodded my head toward him and began walking my way toward town. I expected him to leave me alone, but he didn’t. He stayed quite a distance behind me, but he walked with me every step of the way.

Even I couldn’t understand the profound effect that had on me. I was so grateful that he didn’t leave me alone, that in his own way, he helped me defy
the Duke in the smallest way possible. The Duke couldn’t possibly punish me if Yuri chose to walk behind me the whole time.

I was wrong.
The Duke still punished me, but not in the same way he had done the last time. He punished me in the worst possible way.

The moment I got back to the manor,
the Duke told me to get dressed. He was going to present me to someone else that night. I wondered then if he had finally tired of me and if I was going to be one of the common whores in his brothel. He instructed me to prepare myself to be as beautiful and alluring as I possibly could. That was never a good sign. 

I didn’t understand why he was doing this or what he had in store, but I knew without a doubt that I wasn’t going to like it.

Just before I was brought to the Duke’s client, the Duke put a mask on me.

“Keep it on until he’s had his way with you, do you understand? I will know if you disobey me…”

I nodded, though there was no way he could find out, I was too afraid of ever defying him. Upon seeing the man I was going to pleasure that night, I realized immediately why the Duke saw the mask as necessary. The “client” he gave me to was Yuri.

“You’re thinking about that boy again
,” Ingrid said. She’d just returned from another one of her midnight rendezvous.

I wondered how she did it…how she was able to just shut off her love for Aiden. I knew I could do that, but I never dared. There were times when I had to push back any thoughts of Yuri
—especially when I was with Ben, but I couldn’t do it for long. I craved Yuri’s company, his smile, his words and his presence.

I was enamored by Ingrid
Maslen. There were so many things about her that appealed to my own desire for power and control, but something about her repelled me too. We were alike in so many ways—ruined by our past and feeling helpless to make good out of the ashes we rose up from. Staring at her that night, however, I realized that I didn’t want to be anything like her. I also knew that should I have continued in the direction I had been going, I’d turn up exactly like her.

I have so much to make up for.

I was determined that if I were given another chance, things would be different.
I’m going to make it up to Yuri. I have to.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. It was the young hunter, Zinnia.

“Aiden’s
little princess
wishes to see you,” she said with disdain. I was then brought to the suite they kept Sofia in.

“Claudia…” she greeted with a tentative smile. “Please have a seat.”

I could tell that she still wasn’t certain if I was friend or foe. I took my seat and waited for her to speak up. I felt vulnerable and unsure of myself.

“I’m going to escape soon.
I was just allowed to see Ingrid and spend some time with her and well, she showed me a way out.”

My heart leapt, but from the expression on her face, I could immediately tell that she had no intention of bringing me with her.

“It’s too much of a risk to bring you with me, Claudia. They keep me locked up at night… The only way I can really sneak out is in broad daylight… I just… I don’t know how it would be possible to take you with me.”

“Sofia, if they leave me here, they’re going to kill me.
You’re
the only reason I’m still alive.”

“No
.” She shook her head. “Ben is the reason they’re keeping you alive.”

“I need to get back to
The Shade, Sofia… You of all people should understand why, considering that you have a man you love in there too.”

“I understand that, Claudia, and I promise that I will do everything in my power to get you back home once I’m already there. I know Derek. I know I can talk him into finding a way to get you back.”

I tried to smile. I knew Sofia was sincere in her promise, but I also knew that no vampire who had entered hunter territory ever got out, with the exception of Derek. I doubted that I could ever be an exception. Still, I knew that something within me radically changed when I was able to tell Sofia, “I hope you succeed in your escape, Sofia. Don’t forget about me when you do.”

I actually meant it.

She betrayed me.
I knew that I was a fool to trust Ingrid, but I did… I gave her another chance and she blew it. I couldn’t understand her.

I found the garden through
, the secret passageways Ingrid had told me about. I thought that I was free when I reached open air, only to find Aiden waiting for me.

“Ingrid told me you’d try to escape,” he said through gritted teeth.

I wanted to tell him that it was Ingrid who showed me the way, but I had the inkling that he might’ve already known that.
Why would she give me the means to escape only to rat me out to Aiden on the night of my escape?
Aiden grabbed me by the arm and practically dragged me to my room. I sat back on the couch inside my living room, watching as Aiden paced the floor in front of me, flaming mad.

“I trusted you, Sofia,” he said.

“Since when?” I practically spat the words out. “You’re keeping me prisoner here, Aiden. I want to go back to Derek.”

“Forget him, Sofia!
As long as I am alive, you and
him
will
never
be together!”

Tears were brimming my eyes as I shook my head. “You don’t understand what you’re saying. You don’t know how impossible it is for me to forget Derek. We belong together. You don’t know what’s at stake as long as you keep us apart.”

“If he wanted to be with you, Sofia, why isn’t he here? Why did he leave? If he thought that it was better for you to be together than apart, why then is he not making a move to get back to you?”

He was preying on my deepest fears and doubts, but I couldn’t let him. I knew what I had with Derek was real. If he wasn’t coming to me, then there was a damned good reason why and I wasn’t about to sit there and doubt everything we had, because he wasn’t coming through for me the way I
had wanted him to. I stared up at my father, not knowing what to say in answer to his questions.

“Well?” he pried, perhaps thinking that he gained some ground with me.

“I believe in Derek in a way I could never bring myself to believe in
you
.”

“What did that man feed you to make you so obsessed with him?” His words were cutting like a knife, but he didn’t seem to care. “Is it the fact that you seemed to have already gulped gallons of his blood or is it because you’ve already willingly fed him gallons of yours? He is
immortal
, Sofia. How could you ever be together? Unless…” His eyes widened with shock and accusation. “You’ve thought about it, haven’t you? You’ve considered getting turned.”

I ground my teeth
with the pressure I was feeling from my father. Exhausted by everything that was happening and consumed by my desire to be with Derek, I spat the truth out before I could bite my tongue. “Yes. I have. Not only have I considered it, I
have been
turned. Multiple times. Derek tried to turn me when he was still here with me, and yet, here I am…still human.”

Aiden’s eyes widened with horror as he tried to process what I
had just told him.

“Don’t look so surprised,
Father. It’s not like you didn’t know.” I couldn’t hide the spite in my voice. “You knew that the reason I was so sick after Camilla left was because as a child, she gave me to Borys Maslen. He tried to turn me when I was nine years old so that I could be his forever, but he failed. Claudia tried to turn me back at The Oasis, but she failed. Derek tried to turn me. He, too, failed. So don’t worry, Father. You never have to worry about me becoming one of the creatures you’re relentlessly trying to rid the planet of.”

Aiden looked horrified
, then it became clear to me that he knew nothing about what I was talking about—about me being immune.

I creased my brows as we both stood at a standstill that seemed to last for eternity. “You didn’t know…” I eventually
said.

“It’s impossible.” He shook his head. “How could that be true? How could anyone be immune from the curse?”

He was looking at me like I was some sort of rare specimen that he accidentally stumbled upon. I began to wonder what implications came with the news that I had just revealed.

“Sofia… You’
re immune from being a vampire? How is that possible?”

“Perhaps there’s a cure…” I found myself voicing out the thought that’d been circling my mind ever since Derek failed to turn me. Images of the confused look on his face when he realized that I could never be one of his kind. I fought the urge to give in to the doubts I felt about him leaving.
Did he leave because he realized that I could never be immortal? Did he give up on us?
The thoughts were too painful to continue mulling over. I shifted my focus back to Aiden. “What if there’s a cure? I escaped vampirism… Maybe Derek can too.”

Aiden shook his head,
brushing away my musings. “No. There’s no cure. Curses don’t have cures.” His voice choked and I could swear that a part of him wished that there indeed was a cure, but he was stubborn in his resolve as a hunter. “Stop this, Sofia. Stop buying into all these delusions that you can be with that bastard.”

This time, it was
my turn to be stubborn and firm. “No, Aiden. I think there’s a cure and trust me when I say I’m never going to stop until I find it. If it’s the only way we can be together, then so be it. Derek will become immune too.”