A Shade Of Vampire 4: A Shadow Of Light (6 page)

Natalie pulled
her dark hair up in a messy bun. Wearing a gray university hoodie and black leggings, she looked a lot more casual at home than she normally did wearing her usual, classy and stylish get-ups.

As she ran through the plans for my journey from her safe house to
The Shade, I couldn’t help but appreciate her as a friend. We had some history between us—Natalie and I—history that very few people knew about, history that played a huge part in making us who we were. The centuries changed us both, but she would remain one of my dearest friends, even in spite of the fact that I knew that I could never fully trust her.

“So I’ve arranged transport for you to be brought from here to a nearby shore,” Natalie explained. “You’ll be leaving by jet at midnight.
One of The Shade’s subs should be waiting on the beach to take you to The Shade.”

“How on earth were you able to communicate with anyone back at
The Shade?” I asked.

She smiled. “I can’t tell you my trade’s secrets. Even
you
don’t have that much of an influence on me, Novak.”

Faded images of her as that beautiful young woman, who fascinated me
from the moment I first laid eyes on her, flashed through my mind. I met her right after I escaped from our village—not long after my father turned Lucas, Vivienne and me into vampires. I hated being the creature I’d become and the reality of the hunter now being the hunted had just begun to sink into me. It was one of those nights when my craving for human blood was especially hard to suppress. Vivienne and I had gotten separated from Gregor and Lucas after a run-in with the hunters. I knew Vivienne was starving, because so was I, but she hadn’t spoken for almost a year by then, so I wasn’t expecting any complaints from her.

Natalie somehow found us as we trekked along the city walls, not daring to enter the city in case we
couldn’t stop killing the people we met. She took us in and fed us. She was so tender, so kind, so lovely, I could barely believe that she was a vampire. That night was the first time I allowed myself to entertain the idea that goodness could still be found in creatures such as us. I had Natalie to thank for that. It was decades later before I saw her again—both of us bloodthirsty and losing touch with our humanity. Remembering her kindness and who she was greatly influenced my decision to escape it all and convince Cora to put me to sleep. After reminding her of whom she was before and the impact she had on me, I liked to think that I had a part in making her what she was now.

“Thank you for all your help, Natalie.”

She shrugged. “It’s the least I can do.” She grinned. “For old times’ sake.”

I heaved a sigh. “Did you ever think we’d end up this way? Vampires living centuries past our time?”

Natalie’s face softened and for a moment, I thought she was going to cry, but she just laughed dryly. “That’s just life, Novak. We are what we are. There’s no escaping it.”

No escape.
The thought made me feel so hopeless. I was surprised by the strength of emotion that surged within me—something almost visceral fighting against that idea that our kind had no escape.
How could that be our fate? That can’t be it, not when there’s hope for true sanctuary.

Sofia’s face flashed through my mind. I knew her role in the prophecy, the part she had to play. The distance we had between us was so keenly felt.
She’s my hope.
That’s when I realized that there was no possible way I could survive what was to come unless I made a conscious effort to connect to the light she had sparked in me.

I shook my head at Natalie. “I’d readily accept in a split second that I deserve this fate, but not you, Nat
alie.”

“
Of all the vampires I’ve had the pleasure, or displeasure, of knowing, you’ve always been my favorite, Novak.” She playfully placed a finger beneath my chin and lifted my head upwards. “Do you have any questions about later?”

I shook my head. “I trust you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I warn you, Novak, trusting me could be your undoing.”

I chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

We shared a glass of blood before retreating to our own bedrooms to prepare for my departure. I was mostly thinking about what I was going to end up seeing upon my return to The Shade and how Sofia was doing.
I hope she understands why I left.
I found myself drifting off into a short nap. I was awakened by a thud outside the bedroom. Someone was with Natalie. I took great care not to make any noise as I peeked outside my bedroom door, which was slightly ajar.

“Where is Derek Novak?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Natalie hissed.

I swallowed hard, panic overtaking me. At first, I thought that the hunters had somehow found the safe house, but I quickly realized
—based on the fact that they made no move to hurt Natalie, nor were they equipped with the hunters’ advanced weaponry—that these were fellow vampires.

“We know you helped him, Natalie. You’re
a
diplomat. You’re not supposed to take sides. You shouldn’t have helped him, knowing that he is wanted by practically every vampire coven in existence—even his own.”

“You have nothing to prove that I helped Derek.”

“Who else would’ve helped him, but you?”

I knew then that I had to get out of
the house immediately or I would risk destroying Natalie’s good standing with all the other covens. I couldn’t do that to her—not after everything she had done for me, not after everything she had risked.

I
sneaked out of the bedroom window, still careful not to make even the smallest sound and headed off by foot to the location of the jet Natalie had arranged for me. I looked back and whispered a thank you to Natalie, praying that no harm would come to her because of me.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything bad happened to you because of me, Natalie. Stay safe.

A
few hours later, just before the sun was about to rise, I was sitting in the submarine that would take me back to The Shade. I wanted to feel excitement about my return to the island that had been my home for centuries, but all I felt was dread. Somehow, I already knew that what I would come upon wouldn’t be a warm and happy welcome, but instead, complete and utter chaos.

I was right.

No matter how much I tried, I simply could not rid my mind of the way Aiden looked at me after our last conversation…like I was the most despicable thing he’d ever laid eyes on…as if I were some sort of monster.

He’s right. That’s exactly what I am now. A monster.
The thought gave no consolation, even though I had once fooled myself into believing that I’d already reconciled myself with that truth.

I hated myself for losing Aiden. He was a man with so much love and affection to give. Certainly no other man had been able to penetrate through the walls of my heart the way he
had done, yet despite all the love he had showered upon me, I was still an empty shell, haunted by my past, a past I would kill to forever keep hidden.

He has no idea how much of a monster I really am.

After Aiden left me in my cell, the solitude began to drive me mad. Even before becoming a vampire, I hated being alone and the fact that I was made aware that the love of my life would never look at me the same way he used to look at Camilla was driving me insane.

I stretched myself out on the small cot I was provided with
—one that felt coarse and rough against my skin, after having been accustomed to the Egyptian linens at The Oasis—and screamed at the top of my lungs.

A
gruff, middle-aged guard immediately showed up on the other side of the steel bars lined with UV lighting.

“Shut up!” he bellowed at me.

I gave him my sweetest smile before purring, “Make me.”

“What do you want,
bloodsucker?”

“Tell your boss that I want someone to talk to.”

“Why on earth would I do that?” He grimaced. “All I have to do is pull one trigger and you’re dead. In my opinion—one that is shared by many here—we should just kill you and that other blonde vampire.”

I sat up on the cot and began stretching my arms in the air. “I’m wondering the same thing, but right now, I’m also wondering if you’ll ever allow me to take a shower. It’s been days. I stink.”

He wrinkled his nose as he looked at me with disgust. “We received no orders regarding that, so you’ll just have to bear with the living conditions you’re dealt with. It’s better than being a corpse.”

“I want someone to talk to and I want a shower. If you don’t get me that, trust me when I say there are many ways I can think of to drive you insane, you’re going to wish you never became a hunter.”

At this, the guard scoffed. “What could you possibly do to…”

“I think you have orders to keep me alive and unharmed… Otherwise, I’d be as you say…a corpse.” I stood up and walked toward the UV-lined steel bars. I grinned when at that moment, I could swear that I heard Aiden’s voice talking to someone as he passed the nearby corridor. I gripped one of the bars and genuinely screamed my lungs out because of the excruciating pain
I felt in my palms.

The guard’s eyes
widened in shock. “You’re crazy!”

Within minutes, I could hear footsteps running toward us. I was relieved to find Aiden show up beside the guard. “What is going on?” he demanded.

The guard looked nervously at his boss. “She just…she gripped the bars…”

I knew I looked crazy as I stared with stark amusement at my burnt palm
s. I knew that unless they gave me human blood, it would take hours before my skin was healed.

“Are you trying to kill yourself, Ingrid?” Aiden glared at me.

I wanted to smile at him, but I found myself strangely hurt that he called me Ingrid and not Camilla.
You’ve lost him, Ingrid. Accept it.
“I’m bored, Aiden…and I’m wasting away. I want a good long bath and I want someone to talk to.”

“You’re a prisoner here, Ingrid.
Not a guest.”

My
response to him was simple. I gripped the bars again.

Aiden watched
—his face expressionless—as I once again screamed in agony. Eventually, he took a step forward, his jaw twitching as he said, “Damn it, Camilla! Stop!”

I let go of the bar
s.
Camilla.
Despite the pain, I found a reason to smile.
I haven’t totally lost him after all.

“Boss, she’s insane. She’s just
gonna keep torturing herself,” the guard said. “Perhaps we should just end her pain and kill her.”

Aiden shook his head, and
confirmed my suspicions that he could never really let go of Camilla when he said, “No. Give her what she’s asking for.”

As I watched him walk away, I hated to admit it to myself, but I could never really let go of him either.
I will always love him.
Even though I knew that I could try to turn the emotion off at any time, I realized that I really didn’t want to.

The moment I stepped out of the submarine and into the
port—the primary entry and exit point of The Shade—Cameron Hendry, one of my most trusted friends, greeted me with a curt nod and handed me a wooden stake.

I looked at him questioningly as I lifted the object in my hand mid-air.

“Trust me. It’s likely you’ll need it.”

I grimaced as I stared at the stake. I knew there was reason behind the sense of foreboding I had throughout my journey back to
The Shade, but I wasn’t expecting something like this.

The majority
of the Elite—some of the most powerful warriors we had at The Shade—were present at the port when I arrived. Liana, Cameron’s wife, came to me and explained, “We don’t know how news of your return came out. We tried to keep it between just the council, but well, someone got wind of it and now there’s a riot outside. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”

A riot. Perhaps staying at hawk headquarters would’ve been safer.
I pushed the thought away, trying to concentrate on the present circumstances.

“Maybe there’s a way we can avoid the crowd
.” Xavier Vaughn, an old friend of ours—one I was sure had always been in love with my twin sister, Vivienne—looked distraught. I knew that vampires didn’t age, but I could swear I could see wrinkles on his face.

What has been happening during my absence?
I felt I was about to find out just how much I owed these men and women who had remained loyal to my rule for hundreds of years.

I grimaced, balling my hands into fists. “Let’s face them. If they really want to go against me, then so be it.” I surged toward the exit of the port that would lead to the clearing between the port and the great forest of redwoods
surrounding the island.

“Derek, you have no idea what you’re getting…” Liana began to object.

Too late.
I was already at the topmost step that led to the rock wall which served as the entrance to the port. I found myself standing face-to-face with Felix, who’d always been more loyal to my father than to me.

Surprise was evident in his face upon seeing who was standing before him. A hushed silence began to sweep through the crowd behind him.

“What’s going on?” I asked him.

“They said you were coming back.
”

“Well, I’m back. What nonsense is
this?” I looked over his shoulder and it looked like almost every vampire of The Shade was present there. I couldn’t help but wonder where the humans were. “Who’s looking after the Naturals?” I asked.

“They’re h
iding out at The Catacombs.” Felix tilted his head to one side, sounding a lot more confident. “With the witch. They’re in a lockout.”

A lockout?!
I was panicking inside, but I knew that I couldn’t show it. All it took was for me to break a sweat and show any sign of weakness, and it would be the end of me.

“The human leaders organized a lockout after Felix and his men threatened a culling
.” Liana was now standing behind me.

I couldn’t help but think about Corrine, the witch keeping the protective spell that was hiding the island from all forms of human detection.
If she’s at The Catacombs in a lockout, then how on earth is she still keeping the spell up?

I narrowed my eyes at Felix, who was still standin
g in my way. “Step aside, Felix. I want a council meeting
immediately
at the great dome.”

“Not until we get our answers.” Felix stood his ground.

My vision darkened and it was taking all my self-control not to maim him. “Step out of my way unless you want me to rip your heart out, something you know I’m perfectly capable of doing.”

“Did you hear that?!” he screamed, throwing his arms in the air. “Our beloved king wants to kill his own subject
—one who has fought and bled with him many times before.”

“Yes, you heard correctly. I have no idea what is going on here, but I will get to the bottom of this and I
will
make sure that whoever is responsible will answer to me. I am Derek Novak and no matter what lies you have brewing in your minds,
I
am still ruler of this kingdom, so unless you want blood shed right here and right
now,
every single one of you who isn’t part of the Elite council will return to your homes!
Now!
”

No matter what they believed about me, I knew how intimidating I could
be. The citizens of The Shade had seen me in my darkest moments. They knew what I was capable of, that when darkness took over me, I could destroy a whole battalion of our best warriors. What they didn’t know was that I was fighting with every fiber of my being not to let the darkness take over.
I can’t afford that.

Even as I spoke and watche
d the crowd scatter, I was trying to imagine Sofia standing right beside me, trying to consider what she would think and what she would say about my actions. I could practically sense her hand on my arm, keeping my temper in check.

I drew a breath.
I miss you so much, Sofia.
I could only hope she felt the same way.
I wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of you hating me.
I quickly thought back to all those times when she had promised me that she would always be mine. I knew I had her heart. I hope she knew that she had mine.

Xavier stepped out of the port and
watched as the crowd slowly disappeared. Felix was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, obviously not knowing what to do once he lost the power of the crowd. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of throwing him a glare. As far as I was concerned, he was too small in the grand scheme of things to ever be worth my time or my anger.

Xavier blew out a whistle. “You always did have a way with crowds, Novak… It’s amazing how easy it is for you to both attract and repel them.”

Despite the tension of the situation, I looked his way and grinned. “I can’t believe you would doubt me, my friend.”

“I’m sorry that we did
.” Xavier shrugged. “But it’s been crazy in here since the news of the fall of The Oasis broke out.”

“Let’s discuss it at the dome. It seems we have a lot of issues to take into consideration.” I looked Cameron and Liana’s way. “Could you make sure that Corrine and the human leaders are informed tha
t I have returned? I want them present at the council meeting.”

I mentally tapped myself
on the shoulder for keeping up a good act of leadership and control even though I was fighting my own battles inside. I scoped my surroundings, heaving a deep sigh.
This is just the calm before the storm, Derek. Don’t fool yourself into believing that things are about to get better.

At that moment, the only refuge that calm
ed the storm inside of me was the image of my beautiful Sofia—her smile, her eyes, the sight of her laughing. I knew then that there was no way I could survive what was to come without her.

What have you done, Derek?
What made you think you could get through all of this without her? What are you going to do now?

Hopelessness and despair began to overtake me as I saw the island I fought for
—my kingdom—for what it was—a place absolutely devoid of light.