A Summer To Remember (Seasons of Love & Lust Book 1) (11 page)

Chapter Thirteen

We must have dozed off for a few moments because when we awoke, we were in the same position. Although my whole body ached all over, somehow we found the strength to ride the rollercoaster of love and pain yet again until our mutual orgasms satisfied us a second time.

Afterwards, we held each other’s hands, naked and sated; smelling of each other, sex, cologne, perfume, and sweat. It was an intoxicating combination.

I looked over at him and smiled with a look on my face that spelled out how satisfied I was, and he had the same glazed expression.

“That was the most amazing experience of lovemaking I have ever had, and I’m not just saying that because it happened with you. I have never felt so protected in all my life and the techniques…wow, you could teach many a man a thing or two about pleasing a woman.” My voice was thoroughly drunk with love and sexual satisfaction.

“I had one of the best reasons to give it my all and that is because you’re lying beside me. When I am with you, the world is all right. There is no hatred or anger, only love, and I am so happy you feel the same way. I can’t promise it will always be this mind blowing but I do hope to keep you happy.”

“You’ve already made me happy, Paul. As satisfied as I will ever be just as long as you meant what you said about us being together. I know you aren’t the marrying type and that is fine with me, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone like me? You’re still young and you’ll meet lots of other women, especially in your line of work.”

“I have already met plenty of beautiful, amazing, and fascinating women, but not one can hold a candle to you. Don’t you understand it isn’t about looks and wealth? I don’t give a crap about how hot you are and although you have a beautiful body, that isn’t what attracted me to you. It’s your soul and your spirit. Both were left shattered and torn to shreds after what Kevin did to you and I want to protect you. I want to make sure no man ever treats you like that again, do you understand?”

He reached over to caress my face. “The heart and the mind do not always have the same intentions, but in our case, our worlds and destinies are perfectly aligned. Does it happen to everyone like this? No, of course not. A perfect example would be Talia. She and Seth are destined to be together but they fight it every step of the way, yet their actions cause them nothing but pain and strife.”

I turned my body physically to him. “Anyone else I should be aware of, oh wise one?” I teased with a smile on my face I couldn’t hide if I’d wanted to.

“Jude and Savannah.”

“You’re kidding, right? That’s just a bad joke you’re making up.”

“No, I’m not. She thinks of herself as this wallflower that no man could ever find attractive. Jude has always looked at her with a certain sparkle in his eyes. He thinks she is vibrant, intelligent, and beautiful. She is gorgeous because of her personality and that spark in her eyes. It would take a special man to notice it but he does and that is a beautiful revelation. It doesn’t always happen like that. The hard part is convincing her he would not be using her just for sex.”

“With Savannah, that would definitely be an issue and the number one thing she would fear. She always wonders what people’s ulterior motives are and she would definitely have an issue with Jude stepping to her like that. She’s overly cautious, but it is also what makes her a damn good businesswoman too,” I explained in a no-nonsense tone.

“You don’t think she would be so easy to catch?” Paul asked curiously.

“I
know
she wouldn’t be easy to catch. She has been one of my best friends for a while and I know how she is. She is no man’s token anything and if she was being used, she would suspect it in a heartbeat.”

He pulled me closer to him. “I don’t presume to know everything about everyone and the only person I am concerned with right now is you. Are you all right? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

I shook my head. “Never. It’s only because of you and how you have been with me tonight I will be able to get up in the morning and face everyone. I love you for that. Thank you.”

Paul held me and as his breathing became more even, and I fell asleep listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart and his warm breath on my neck.

***

The following day, I awoke early and took a long hot shower then dressed in a white maxi skirt and black tank top. I paired my look with a pair of black Fit-Flops and wandered down to the part of South Beach known as Katama Beach. It was quite early and breakfast hadn’t been served yet but the time alone outside with the wind and the breeze put me at a certain peace I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Under normal circumstances, my mind would have gone to my new relationship and whether it was solid. Could I trust my partner now that he had been given all of me? Would things be the same or would they change?

I didn’t have any of those worries with Paul and it certainly wasn’t because he was this perfect gentleman who wasn’t capable of treating a woman like shit. If we women were honest with ourselves, we could admit even the nicest guy has been an asshole to some woman in the past and my boyfriend was no different.

While he may treat me like I was made out of gold and my heart out of the finest crystal, I knew he had broken many hearts before I’d come along, and his past behavior could be indicative of future behavior if I wasn’t careful with him.

I was more afraid of what I was capable of doing to him and I hated when I drifted into these self-analyzing existentialist and introspective thoughts with myself because they served little purpose other than to make me miserable and wish I was with someone again who meant nothing.

I was risking everything—my heart, my soul and my mind—being with Paul, and it was always easier to risk nothing and know what the eventual outcome would be than to risk everything and still lose. The heart was the most precious instrument in the body, not only because it pumped blood to every part of our bodies, but also because it was our moral compass and the one organ that could be shattered in a million ways even if physically it was still healthy and continued its job of keeping us alive while we felt like we were dead inside.

I’d lived so many years like that, the strangeness of its absence put me at an uneasy truce with my body. I breathed deeply as I continued to walk along the beach until I came upon a scene I would have been best not knowing ever happened.

Talia stood with a tall, dark-haired guy. He had on a short-sleeved plaid shirt which showed off major ink on both arms and a pair of black board shorts. I knew who he was and I wondered why they were speaking to each other at all. They were so involved in their argument they were completely oblivious that they weren’t the only souls strolling the beach at this early hour in the morning.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Seth, how difficult is that to understand?”

“Why did you really leave L.A.? If you tell me it’s that prissy friend of yours one more time then I am going to strangle you with my bare hands,” he responded in a thick Bostonian accent.

“Jerrica had nothing to do with my decision. I needed to get away from you. Whatever you call what we have together it’s toxic and we both know it. You shouldn’t be with me and I have no business being with you. Hell, you’re dating someone else because your manager tells you to, yet you want to share my bed and I am supposed to accept that? It’s humiliating enough I don’t get to live out my dream and now I am being told I don’t deserve to have the guy either? Just leave me the fuck alone.”

Talia walked away in the opposite direction from where I was and Seth quickly caught up with her. “I’m sorry, Talia. When I found out you were here, you knew I would drive up. I’m stayin’ at my parents’ for the weekend for—”

“With the skank?”

“Fuck no. You know my mother would flip. I am alone, Talia. No band mates, no women, and certainly no hangers-on. It’s just me, my brother, and my parents. I would really like you to come with me. Please, just agree to ride with me back to Boston and I will bring you back tonight. I promise.”

“Goddamn it, Seth, don’t you understand how much this breaks me into a million pieces? I can’t have these moments with you and then just go back to ‘normal’ or what has become my normal. I need to know you are going to be there for me and we are going to attempt a real relationship. Otherwise, I am gonna look for someone else.”

“You date another man and I will break your arm. You belong to me and you always have. No matter how many sluts I’ve shared my bed with, I have always belonged to you and only you.”

I couldn’t listen to any more. I turned away and began to walk back to the estate. I knew Talia would cave and I wouldn’t see her today or maybe for the rest of our time here at Martha’s Vineyard. Seth had her hook, line, and sinker, and nothing was going to change that. Perhaps they had each other trapped and I was wrong to think my friend was being foolish. She had never been as stupid as I was, and at least she’d fallen for a man who obviously cared about her even if he had issues fully expressing his emotions. Kevin and I didn’t even have that when we were together, so between the two of us, who was the biggest idiot? It certainly hadn’t been Talia.

When I arrived back at the house, Savannah was up, as was Jude. They were both situated in the pool area on twin luxury loungers talking quietly. She laughed and her face seemed to light up with joy and delight.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, perhaps Paul had been right. Maybe they were into one another, because she had pretty much been sticking to him like glue since the night before.

“Morning, you two,” I said dryly, walking over to the bar and making myself an early morning mimosa.

“It’s hardly brunch,” Savannah said, sipping from a drink that looked dangerously similar to mine.

“Thanks but I already have a mother, sweetie, I don’t need two.”

“She’s just worried about you after last night. It couldn’t have been easy, dealing with what Ashley said to you. I made Gerald get rid of her. A driver fetched her first thing this morning and Cyd went with her so we’re two people down for the rest of the vacation.”

I looked from Jude to Savannah and back again. They certainly weren’t too close for comfort, but somehow the way they cozied up to one another suggested more than a friendly relationship. I was a great reader of people but certainly not in Paul’s league. Perhaps I was starting to lose my touch.

“Hey, did you two see that Seth guy come to pick up Talia?” I asked, strolling over to them and sitting on the arm of the lounger next to Jude’s.

“Yeah, we knew,” Savannah replied. “He came to the front door and rang the doorbell. Jude called Talia down to see him.”

I glanced at my brother with a feeling of betrayal. “Why would you do that? You have to know he isn’t any good for her. And what’s he doing stalking her in Martha’s Vineyard anyway?”

Jude rolled his eyes. “Talia is a grown woman who can make up her own mind about what she wants to do. If you have an issue with what I did, take it up with her, not me. The guy’s family still resides in South Boston, so it isn’t exactly like he’s stalking her if he was pretty close by to begin with, Jerri.”

“That’s exactly what I would expect to hear coming from you, Jude,” I said. “Talia left with him and what if he turns out to be some kind of psycho or weirdo? What if she isn’t safe with him?”

“For Christ’s sake, Jerrica, get a grip,” Savannah said in an irritated voice. “The man is the lead singer of Winter’s Regret, and you seriously think he is going to risk his reputation by harming Talia in any way? It goes both ways, you know. Talia has caused a certain amount of pain for him too, starting with what she did while we were at Vassar.”

I almost choked on my drink. “What are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I am talking about. When she did that, he was angry with her for years and that is why they didn’t see each other for almost three years. She broke his heart. I’m sure that is not the story she told you about the trials and tribulations that have occurred between her and Seth. If she was thinking of anyone other than her own standing in her family, perhaps the relationship they have would be quite different.”

I wanted to drop the subject now that Paul strode into the pool area looking quite delectable in a pair of white board shorts and a blue wife-beater, but I had one last question to ask.

“How long have you known about what happened at Vassar?”

“She told Autumn and I about it a while back when we made a surprise visit to L.A. see her. I had a client I had to fly out to see and Autumn agreed to come with me. Talia was gracious enough to host us so we wouldn’t have to stay in a hotel. One thing led to another and after a few too many drinks, she told us about what happened. She made us promise not to tell you. Why, I don’t know, but perhaps she wanted you to feel a certain way about him—who the hell knows?”

“Where is Autumn anyway?”

“Making small talk with Gerald in the sauna last I checked.”

I stood and walked several loungers over to where Paul laid down with a bloody Mary in his hand and his iPad mini in the other. It was obvious he was reading a book.