A Tragic Heart (2 page)

***

I park my car in an empty spot, and coincidentally, Mason happens to park next to me. Lately it seems the universe is forcing him on me a little more each day. I wait for Jagger to get out of the car before I approach him.

“Hey!”

He turns around and I lose my breath.

“Can I talk to you?” I ask.

“Depends. Are you a bitch this morning?” he says with that sinful smile.

I manage a smirk and reply, “No not today. You caught me at a bad time and I just want to apologize. I should’ve been nicer.”

“It’s okay. We all have those days, right?”

“I guess.” He’s nice. I guess sometimes people surprise you.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later and maybe then we can talk more about this paper that’s going to go down as the greatest thing ever written,” he jokes.

And he’s funny. Who knew that Mason Taylor would have a sense of humor…at least toward a girl like me. “All right, later.”

He makes me smile, and I watch perfection walk away.

Lunch comes quickly. But the day seems to race as swiftly as my heart has ever since Mason and I spoke. What am I saying? I’m starting to sound as silly as a high school girl in a fiction novel.

“So, I was thinking the story should be based on you,” Mason says, sitting down at my table.

Mason is sitting at my table
.
No one has ever sat at my table
. “What?” I ask, more puzzled than ever.

“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not exactly the most normal junior in high school.”

“Thanks,” I say rolling my eyes.

“Don’t act that way. What I’m trying to say is that I find you interesting; mysterious-like.” He looks me straight in the eye, and I die a little.

“Really?” I’m flattered. I think.

“Yeah. It doesn’t have to be, like, your life story or anything, but I think the main character should have a lot of your traits. Your style, your looks, your attitude—you know, anything that draws people to you.”

“Um, Mason, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but no one is drawn to me. I’m a bit of a loner. Maybe even a lost soul, as some would call it.”

“See, it’s that right there! That part of you that’s hard to understand. To be honest, I think that part of you is beautiful. The lonely girl who probably doesn’t realize how attractive and brilliant she truly is. The girl with the hair as dark as mine and the green eyes that hold a lifelong story behind them. That alone can make an epic tale. You can make a beautiful story.”

He’s serious and I am speechless. “Um, yeah, sure. We can do that.”

I didn’t want to try to argue with him, but there’s no way in hell that I would feel comfortable writing about myself. The only time I’m willing to do that is when I know my eyes will be the only ones that view the words on the page.

I don’t expect him to remain seated across from me. He’ll go back to his friends, who were clearly more important than I am. But it looks like I’m wrong again.
Mason Taylor, you are full of surprises, aren’t you
?

“Well, I’m having a party at my house on Friday night. You should come. We can spend more time together. I can get to know you a little better—you know, since the story will be based on you. I feel it would be great if we can get a connection going.” He smiles.
That damn smile
. Who could refuse that face…or those words?

“Hanging out is okay, but a party? With your friends? I don’t know. They’re not really my crowd and I don’t think they would approve of you inviting me, either.”

He laughs. “Freaks are invited, too.”

I can’t help but laugh. He gets up to walk away, but then stops.

“And by the way, I am
very
drawn to you.”

He walks away and I am in love. It happens just like that. I stare, probably for too long, but that doesn’t matter. Mason Taylor is drawn to me, and I want to be his portrait. I long to be every color he chooses to fill the canvas with.

***

Walking toward the exit closest to my car, I notice the looks his friends—my old friends—Keely, Alison, and Jizelle are giving me. Jizelle dated Mason, and I’m sure she saw him talking to me. Alison still dates Jagger, self-explanatory. And Keely tries for Peyton, but from what I hear, she has no luck. No one has any luck with Peyton. Sometimes I like to think Peyton is like me. No one knows much about him. He keeps to himself, but there’s so much more to him. He may even have a troubled past. Maybe he is a lot like me? But that doesn’t matter because we’ll never sit down and actually have a conversation. As soon as Mason and I write this paper, we’ll probably never speak again. But then again, he is drawn to me—so he says…

“So the freak feels famous for a day because Mason speaks to her!” Jizelle says.

I should walk away. That would be the right thing to do. It would be the smart thing. But I can’t, because I’m Taylor Caldwell, the girl who cuts. I couldn’t even make it out of the building before she decided to start something. “And the slut feels more like trash than
ever because Mason decided to speak to the freak and not give her a second try.” It spills out, fast and hard.

I see Peyton smirk a little and Jagger laugh while Keely and Alison look like I just shot down the president—probably because to them, I did.

“It speaks!” Jizelle says condescendingly. “Listen, I know you like him. Remember I was your best friend before I grew sense. And just letting you know, he doesn’t like you. You’re not his type. So don’t even bother.”

“Jizelle, get over yourself. I don’t want Mason. It’s called a school paper—something I don’t think you know about, since you spend all your time planning a way to get back with him because you just can’t accept the fact that he doesn’t want you. And you obviously didn’t grow any type of sense because if you had, you would realize that
you’re
not his type…and I don’t have to know him to know that.”

Stupid high school girls; they’re immature. And I’ve fallen right into their trap, but I must admit: it felt good. As I walk away, I feel my head pull back involuntarily. Before I know it, I’m on the floor. Well, if she wants to fight, it’s a fight she’ll get.

I quickly get up and before she can even comprehend it, my fist paints her nose red. I grab her hair and once again, my fist meets her face. I can’t stop it. The anger is too great; it is too strong.
I am too strong
. I feel my body lift up in the air. My feet no longer touch the ground. It’s Peyton. He picks me up while Jagger grabs Jizelle. I still fight until Peyton somehow manages to calm me down. But by then, the principal is face to face with me.

“Caldwell, Adams, in my office. Immediately!”

***

I’m suspended. For the rest of the week and it’s only Tuesday. I’m about to get in my car when I hear someone call my name. I turn around and it is none other than Mason. That’s when I realize what I did. I gave his ex a new facial; his ex who is still his friend. I wonder if he’s mad. I wouldn’t blame him if he is.

“I’m sorry, Mason but I have to go!” I say quickly, not looking him in those beautiful, green eyes.

“Just a second.” He closes my car door, preventing me from getting in.

“What the hell!” I say. “I have to go!”

“Do you really? Or are you ignoring me because you think I’m mad because you beat the living hell out of my ex?” He has a serious tone. He must be mad.

“Both,” I say, looking down.

He laughs.
He laughs!

“What’s so funny?” I ask, confused.

“She had it coming. Peyton told me what happened, and I’m not angry at all. I find it pretty amusing.”

“I see,” I say, still confused.

“You’re a tough girl. I should’ve seen that in you. I was thinking maybe you should come over now so we can get started on this thing.”

“Now? Uh, sure. I guess that’s fine.” Anything is better than spending the day in my room with nothing to do but write journal entries and listen to depressing rock songs.

“Cool. Just follow my car,” he says, unlocking the door to his Lexus.

***

Mason’s house is huge. Kind of like mine. His dad is a civil engineer, and his mom is an architect. And I thought
my
parents were always busy.

“So no one’s home?” I ask.

“Nope. My parents are always busy with work.”

“I know the feeling. But doesn’t Peyton live here also?”

“Yeah, but he’s always out. Peyton does his own thing. He’s mostly with his band and when he’s not with them, he’s off getting into some type of trouble.”

“Peyton’s in a band?”

“Lead singer and guitarist.”

“Wow. I would’ve never thought. What kind of trouble does he enjoy getting into?” I ask a little too curiously.

“The usual rebellious teenage stuff. Drinking, occasional drugs, partying too hard. But overall, he’s a good guy.”

I want to know more, but I’m afraid to get too personal, so I decide not to respond.

“So what about your brother?” Mason asks. “I heard he’s on tour with his band. I saw the pictures on their website.”

“Yeah, Jackson’s doing great. You listen to their music?”

“Of course. Who in this town doesn’t? Your brother’s like a rock legend here! It’s not every day someone makes it out of this town with their dream in hand.”

“Yeah, I tend to forget that.”

“That’s why people wonder why you aren’t more popular.” He pauses for a while. “But I think it’s cool that you’re not like everyone else. It’s another reason why you’d make a great story.”

The story. I’d completely forgotten that was the whole point of my being here. I enjoy the concept of getting to know Mason. He is fairly easy to talk to.

“Well, I guess we should get started on that story then, huh?” I ask purposely aiming my eyes towards the floor.

“Yeah, we should. You want anything to eat before we start?”

“No, thanks. I’m good.” I smile.

He makes me smile. More than anyone ever has.

***

The story is coming out great so far. We’d probably be done by next week or so if we keep working at this rate. He knows me better than I thought. It’s as if he’s watched me my entire life. He sees me and all that I am capable of being. He knows my anger, my hurt, and my love that wants to be noticed. I was all wrong about Mason. He’s nothing like I thought. He’s not a jock who hides behind his sport. He doesn’t hide behind anything. He’s just himself and he shows it. Not to mention, he’s drawn to me.

As soon as I open the door to my house, my mom is yelling at me. “Where the hell have you been? You got suspended from
school and you didn’t come straight home! You had your father and me worried sick about you!”

“You guys worried about me? That’s a first!” I say rudely.

“Don’t you dare speak to me in that tone! We give you everything you want, and you say we don’t care about you? You are an ungrateful child who doesn’t deserve us as parents!”

I don’t deserve them as parents
. Is that really what she thinks, or is she just upset? Maybe I should’ve called and told them where I was, but that doesn’t give her the right to say that I don’t deserve them as parents. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t deserve me as a daughter.

“Eva, maybe you’re right. I don’t deserve you as a parent. I’m not good enough for you or Henry. But I just have to let you know, as much as I’m a crappy daughter, you two are even crappier parents!”

As I rush up the stairs, my father yells at me not to speak to my mother that way and that I’m grounded…or something like that. I stopped listening to them the moment they stopped acknowledging that I exist.

I go to my least favorite part of the house: my room. It’s so lonely there and it makes me think too much. I get out my favorite pocketknife, take off my jacket, and carve a wavy line in my shoulder. Crazy, crazy me.

***

I wake up, and somehow it is Friday. These past few days have been hell. I’m grounded, so I can’t go anywhere; and I have no friends, so I can’t do anything. But tonight, that’s going to change. Tonight I’m breaking my parent’s rules and I’m going to Mason’s party at nine. He called to make sure I was coming, and I told him I wouldn’t miss it. I don’t care if my parents won’t find me in my room. I want to show them how much I don’t deserve them as parents. I decide to wear the most revealing outfit that I have, courtesy of my rock-star brother. Most brothers would try to prevent their little sisters from dressing like a Playboy bunny, but my brother isn’t most brothers. He’s Jackson Caldwell, town legend, a proud
supporter of debauchery, and the self-proclaimed “hot guy who all the girls love.” What most people don’t know about him is that he’s really smart and musically, he’s a genius. It’s obvious he’s good at what he does, but people don’t know him like I do. He’s always been my best friend. He has always been the one to tell me there’s more to life than just living. I’m still trying to figure out what he means by that. I hope to find out someday.

All this thinking about Jackson is starting to make me miss him. So I decide to call my best friend and the best brother in the world.

“Hey, kid! I haven’t heard from you in a week!” He really sounds excited to hear from me, and that makes me feel a lot better.

“I know. I’ve been busy getting suspended and stuff like that.”

“Suspended? Who did you fight now?”

“Jizelle.”

“Your best friend? Well, ex-best friend?”

“Yeah, that’s the bitch.” I laugh. He always makes me smile.

He laughs too, and that makes me happy—just for a while.

“What happened?” he asks, concerned this time, so I decide to tell him the story.

“So you like Mason?” he asks when I finish.

“NO!”

“Liar! I always know when you’re lying. You’re my best friend, remember?”

“So maybe I do like him, but that’s none of her business.”

“And you’re right about that! So I’m guessing Mom and Dad are pretty pissed?”

I laugh. “Yeah, just a little. I’m grounded, but I’m still going to Mason’s party tonight. I’m going to sneak out. And the best part is that I’m going to wear the outfit you got me the last time I went to one of your shows.”

He laughs and says, “That’s great! I’m sure you’re going to look hot, and every guy there will be all over you. But I’m still your brother, so I’m going to tell you to be careful. And try not to get caught by Mom and Dad. Oh yeah, and don’t get too drunk, you should stop at tipsy…and make sure Mason straps.”