ACV's 1 Operation Black Gold (13 page)

‘Damn it Jim, you’ll have my soul as black as yours.’  I stiffened, feeling the pressure build up inside.  ‘Christ I’m sorry man I didna mean that.’

I forced myself to smile.  ‘It’s OK Davie; it’s hard to make a decision like this.  I’m just glad it’s not me this time.’

He looked down at his manicured hands and started wringing them together.  Eventually he looked back up. 

‘Kill one and alert a thousand eh Jim?’

‘Aye that’s right Davie.’

‘I didn’t know you were an exponent of old Chinese Generals Mr. Whitton.’  The manny D’Ord interrupted.

Davie gave him a blank look.  ‘I’m sorry.’

‘The quote.’

‘What quote? Oh that! I was quoting Jim.’

Mr. D’Ord looked at me.

‘Whit!’  I asked unaware of what the fuck he was going on about.

‘I’m sorry, carry on.’

However, I’d completely lost the plot.

‘We try and avoid action Jim.’  Davie prompted.

‘Fit, aye, it’s the only way.  We can only use weapons as a last resort.  If we dinna we won’t last very long.’

He thought it over for a few minutes and the rest of us kept silent.  ‘When I’d just completed my neurological studies, I was sent to America as part of an exchange scheme, Florida.  A big war broke out between the drug cartels.  The police and the hospitals were caught in the middle.  It was a battlefield with all types of gunshot wounds coming in.  The cartels even sent their hit men into the hospitals to finish them off.  They would kill anyone who got in their way, doctors, nurses, porters.  It was terrible; we spent half the day dodging bullets.  I never ever want to feel that helpless or defenceless again.  I’ll go for the armed option.’

We let go a collective sigh of relief, and I nodded my thanks to him, ‘I suppose that’s the meat of the matter, just the small details left.  Like if, we have to wait seven days for the patient to recover.  Can they feed us for that length of time?  Will they rearm us?  Would we take replacements in with us?  We don’t want to be taking chest expanders if the guys shot in the legs.  If we’re on location and a job turns up and their shorthanded will we be called upon to help out.’

That set the ball rolling; suggestions started pouring in.  They had got their heads round it now.  I headed for the small toilet then helped myself to another coffee and started chatting to Buff.  As far as I was concerned, I had done my bit.  Ivan was writing like a maniac.

‘Hey Jim, would we have to go in after downed pilots?’  Gigs asked.

‘They will probably have something set up already; but if he lands close to an SAS base, and they get their hands on him first, it probably wouldn’t hurt us any to go in and extract him.’

‘Could you find out about that for us,’ he asked the manny D’Ord.

‘Yes of course.’

‘Hey Jim fit will happen if we’re already out and a second incident occurs and we’ve got the wrong equipment, will we get resupplied by chopper.’  Ali threw that one at me.

‘If it’s far enough away we might have to get moved by chopper, but that’s always going to be the riskiest option.  It would be better if we could be resupplied by fast jets.  Fighters on a sortie perhaps, which would mean having someone on radio stag back at home all the time.  Which also means good communications with base and some kind of transponder the fighters or chopper can home in on.’

Ivan shook his arm to un-cramp his hand, as I kept cranking out the answers.

‘We’ll probably have to use some kind of Styrofoam cases - for protection.  No doubt we’ll have to design them ourselves.  We will also need some kind of tracking device as well in case they go squwif in the dark.  Small chutes that are easily buried and all this will have to be practiced.’  We went on to hammer the subject to death. 

Eventually Mr. D’Ord called a halt.  ‘All we need to discuss now is the chain of command.  Your orders will come direct from me via Mr. Muckle here, but the plan is to make you an independent unit.  So I need one of you to take command at your end.’

Well that started another argument.  I volunteered Buff.  In the end, the running seemed to be between Nommy, Buff, Abie and Gigs.  They had got themselves into a huddle to thrash it out in fierce whispers.

I quickly got bored and decided to make everyone a cuppa.  Halfway through putting in the sugar I felt the hackles on the back of my neck rise.  I whirled to find a look of hatred on Ivan’s face.  It was only there for the briefest second and for a moment, I wondered if I was seeing things.

I shook it off and went back to the coffee.  The whispering intensified then stopped.  The silence made my skin crawl; I turned to find them all watching me.

‘Whit.’  Buff’s face split into a grin.  ‘Oh no, no me.  I dinna mind answering your stupid fucking questions but no this.’  My heart was beating like a trip hammer; panic was setting in. the thought of being responsible for this lot was a nightmare.

‘Now, now Jim.’

‘Shut the fuck up Whitton!  Nae this time.’  Davie had an uncanny knack of persuading me to do things I didn’t want to.

Mr. D’Ord butted in, ‘I think you’re the most logical choice Murison, you’ve already got your head well round this, remarkably so considering the circumstances.  You saw straight through the flaws in our original concept and have come up with a great number of ideas that-.’

‘Hey, whoa, aye, ideas that’s what I’m good at.  I’m a problem solver a thinker, but I’m not a do’er.  I haven’t the faintest idea of how to make any of these concepts work.  These guys are the do’ers, they are the men that can make things work, I’m just a mouthpiece a’ right, ask one of them.’

‘I dinna ken about that Jim, I can mine a few different times fin ye put a few ó your ideas in to practice and they worked.’  Buff had that weird look on his face he gets when he’s thinking too deeply about something.

‘Like what Buff?’

‘Can yé no remember; I’m sure everybody else here does?  Come to think ó it if ye hadn’t carried out one ó your little ideas as weel as ye did, there wouldn’t be anybody in this room now, we’d all be dead.’  A roar of approval rang round the room.  Bastard, they were all behind him now.  I noticed Ivan’s head come up like a hunting dog.  I daren’t push him further.  One look at him told me he would go into details if necessary.

‘A’ right, if I must, I’ll be spokesman for the group.’

‘It doesn’t quite work like that.’  Mr. D’Ord took a couple of brown envelopes from his briefcase and handed me one.  My name was on it.  ‘I’m afraid I’m going to have to promote you.’

I thought that was funny.  ‘The way this lot carry on they’ll have the tapes off me in five minutes.  You’d be better leaving me the way I am.’  I opened the envelope, looked inside, and tipped it up.  A new plastic ID card slid into my hand with my most recent photo on it, long hair as well.  Immediately I noticed something wrong.  ‘They’ve got my number wrong, look it’s a couple of digits short.’

‘Have they really.’  His eyebrows rose.

‘Aye.’  I pulled out the letter of notification and noticed some pieces of cloth in the bottom.  Nametags I thought.  Wrong, I plucked out a pair of officer’s shoulder boards.  The penny dropped, no wonder my number had been shortened.  The fucker had made me an officer.  I was stunned.

‘Ye can’t make me an officer,’ I stammered.  Sparks flashed on and off in my head as my internal circuitry overloaded.

‘Why not?’  He asked simply.

‘I don’t know how too.  I mean I don’t even know how to fill in a requisition form for time on the ranges or how to book time in the gym even.’  I was rambling, my thought process was seriously fucked, mind you, that lot rolling about on the floor behind me in hysterics wasn’t helping any.

‘I wouldn’t worry about that side of it, I have two very special people who are going to be joining you, they’re going to take care of all that.’

I felt trapped.  ‘Ye canna’ do this to me!’  I whined.

He tapped his own shoulder boards with a pen.  ‘Oh, but I can.’

‘So I’m fucked then!’  I was seriously depressed now.

‘I would say so; cheer up it isn’t that bad you know.’

‘Aye right.’  An eye fell on the remaining envelope.  ‘Who else were you considering?’

He caught Ivan’s eye and they burst out laughing.  ‘No one.’  He handed it over.  I read the name on it and looked for the man who was laughing hardest.  The malicious look in my eye dried his laughter up.

‘Fit?’  I waved the envelope at him.  ‘Ye can fuck right off.’

‘Since when did this become a democracy?’  I grinned at Buff.  ‘Besides I can’t do this on my own.’ 

He snatched the envelope from me and produced Sergeant Chevrons.  We both took a severe slagging.  Both mannys came round and congratulated us.

‘Times running short, any orders for your new command?’  D’Ord grinned.

‘Aye Mr. Whitton when will you be joining us for good?’ 

‘Monday.’

‘Will you have spare time on your hands this week?’

He shrugged, ‘Aye should have.’

‘Try and make a list of all the specialist equipment you’ll need, then find out if anybody sells lightweight versions.’

‘I’ll look into it.  Oh Mr. D’Ord here’s that recording you sent me.’  He handed over a minidisk recorder.

Mr. D’Ord waggled it at me, ‘It’s an edited version of your speech yesterday.  I wanted him brought up to speed before he got here.’

‘Edited.’  I frowned.

‘Aye Jim he probably took out á the hand waving bits.’  Abie mimicked to a roar of laughter.  I scowled at him.

‘Never mind Jim, it was one of the best bits of deductive reasoning I’ve ever heard in my life.’  Davie soothed.

‘Thanks Davie.’  I felt slightly mollified.

‘Mind you, I’d forgotten what a boring bastard you were.’

I couldn’t believe I’d fell for it again after all these years he could still set me up bonny.  I had to laugh as well.

‘Have you any more questions for the moment?’  D’Ord prompted laughing.

‘No.’

‘Well that about wraps it up for the moment, you’d better put those shoulder boards on and come to the mess with us.  I will introduce you to your new assistant.  Sergeant George there is someone waiting for you in the Sergeants mess his name’s Reginald Timms.  You can’t miss him he’s an old fellow, be gentle with him.  If the rest of you head for the Jocks mess you can all meet there.’

‘OK have you any questions for us?’  I asked.

‘No I don’t think so, what about you Ivan?’

‘Aye, what happened in Albania?’  A stunned silence greeted Ivan’s outburst.  Even Mr. D’Ord looked genuinely shocked.  ‘I’m sorry,’ he finally blurted when the silence stretched out. 

I held up my hand to stop him saying any more.  ‘You told us a lot today that we didn’t need to know.  Why all this now?  We were always looked upon as a bunch of clowns.’

‘Well you acted like a bunch of clowns,’ Ivan grunted.

‘So, we always worked hard,’ I almost snapped.

Mr. D’Ord nodded.  ‘Yes you did and hindsight is a great thing.  It isn’t very often a man gets a chance to make amends, but that is what I’m trying to do here.  To give you the chance my superiors at the time wouldn’t.  I am sure you all realise the consequences of a word of what was said here today reaching the media.  However, I trust you.  After all I already know you can all keep a secret.’

I shoved my hands deep into my pockets.  ‘Aye, I suppose we can, but there’s no need for you two to make amends.  Five minutes after you were posted onto your next command it was apparent to all of us just how much you had been doing on our behalf.’  There were a few murmurs of agreement.  ‘So I suppose if any one deserves to hear the story it’s you two, still want to?’

An eager look past between them.  ‘Yes we would.’

‘What about it lads?’

‘Not here Jim,’ Fritz poked through, ‘A neutral venue, no uniforms or recorders.’

‘That’s agreeable.’  D’Ord nodded.

‘OK tonight in the Old Mill, what time.’

‘Nine o’clock would be fine.’

‘OK be it upon your own head.’  Mr. D’Ord frowned.  ‘You might not like what you hear as a matter of fact I can grantee you there’s going to be things you won’t like.’

‘I’ll take that chance.’

I shrugged.  ‘Sorted.’

CHAPTER 14

I found myself squinting into the harsh spring sunlight.  Spring had taken a gentle hold at home, here though, the trees were still dead, even the evergreens looked dirty.

‘We’ll no be able to stay at Glencourse.’  My mind was beginning to un-seize. 

‘I know.  I have already got Sam working on that problem.  What about here?’

I shook my head, ‘I don’t see the point in maybe gathering together thousands of pounds worth of medical supplies to put them under their first target.’

‘Yes, we couldn’t really put those underground, still our shelters are good.’

I looked round the large green sceptically.  Beneath it sat the bunker complex we had just left.  I pointed out the visible airshafts and steps leading down to the steel doors.  ‘The Americans have smart bombs that can surgically remove your left testicle without shaving you.  These bunkers are useless.  A couple of blast bombs or couple of fuel air and you’ll be sitting with your lungs on your lap.’

He eyed them sceptically, ‘you think so?’

‘Aye, that’s if you actually have time to reach them.  They could take out every office, toilet, canteen, broom cupboard, if they wanted to and with the kind of precision that would give a drill sergeant a hardon for a month.  And it would happen that fast you’d be shoving that pen of yours into St Peters ear hole instead of your desk holder afore ye even realised ye were dead.’

‘I’m beginning to realise why your friends refer to you as that bastard Murison.  Anything else you’d like to draw my attention too,’ he grunted.

I shrugged.  ‘It would be just as easy to take you out when you’re sleeping.’

‘Cheery bastard,’ retorted Ivan.

The manny D’Ord turned to him.  ‘You really seem to be getting into the swing of things already.’

They were both grinning but I ignored them.  ‘Saying that there is another option open to them.’

‘Ah yes let me guess, they will travel back in time and kill our fathers before they conceive.’  Ivan spat.  The pair of them had a good laugh above my head.

‘No the other option is to take out our best before the war starts.  Bad car accident, a bit of carbon monoxide poisoning, maybe a gas ring that’s been left on, La boom so sorry old chap, I mean who’s going to suspect anything.  Personally I’d think twice about giving the kids a loan of your car.’  That one hit home hard.

‘God you are a bastard.’  D’Ord took a turn.

‘Now who’s swinging,’ I retorted.

The three of us ascended the steps of the officers mess laughing.  It was warmer inside thank god, we passed through the foyer into the inner hallway.  It had all its paintings of ancient heroes and splendid battle scenes, most of which I recognised.  Two small tables filled with dirty cups and empty teapots sat forlorn to one side.

‘Damn we’ve missed morning tea.  I’m afraid it will have to be the bar.  Drink Murison’ 

‘Coffee would be nice’

‘That would depend whose on the bar.’

Ivan stuck his head round the door.  ‘It’s that Martin,’ he reported.

‘That’s, that then, I am afraid it will have to be soft drinks or alcohol.’

‘Why?’

A look of devilment passed between them.  ‘I’ll tell you what Murison, if you can get that man to get us a hot beverage, I’ll buy you a drink tonight.’

‘I’ll buy you a double,’ joined in Ivan.

‘You pair didna actually think you were going to get out of buying drinks tonight did you?’

‘Well no but--’

I held up a hand.  ‘I’ll tell you what, I take your double Mr. Muckle but you can buy the crisps sir.’ 

He laughed.  ‘Done.’

‘My rules mind, no interference.’

‘Settled.’  Grinned Ivan.

We entered and walked to the bar.  ‘Usual Ivan.’

‘Yes please sir.’

‘Two fresh orange please Martin and what would you like Mr. Murison.’

‘Oh cup of coffee will do fine old chap.’ 

‘Now, now gentlemen, you know the rules.’

As soon as I saw him, my hackles went up.  He looked normal enough apart from a pencil thin black moustache, but there was something else about him I Couldn’t quite put my finger on.

‘Well I don’t,’ I cut him off.  ‘And I don’t fucking care either.  I also think these gentlemen would like a hot beverage too.  What would you like gentlemen?’ 

‘Pot of tea would be lovely.’

‘Big pot,’ insisted Ivan.

‘Biccies?’

‘Oh yes lovely.’

He had been stunned into silence for a moment but now he burst into full flow.  ‘This is an absolute outrage,’ he stuttered.  It wasn’t the false temper that set me off; it was the limpid look in the back of his large brown eyes.

I launched myself across the bar and grabbed him by the ears pulling him off his feet.  I made sure I had a good hold with my left hand and retrieved the big black knife that was hanging between my shoulder blades.  He stiffened in fear as it settled under his nose.  I decided to take a dislike to his moustache.

‘Listen to me you brown holing little shit.  I want a fucking coffee and these gentlemen want tea and you’re going to get it.’  His squealing reached fever pitch as I started to shave of half his moustache.  ‘Tell me.’  I put my face right in front of him so my glasses wouldn’t reflect away any of the viciousness in my eyes.  ‘Are you the passive or the aggressive type?’  I wiped some of the black hair onto the collar of his shirt.  ‘Nah you’re the passive type aren’t you.’  I did a really neat job too.  ‘I tell ye what, if you’re thinking of getting the operation, I could do it for free.’

‘Noooo,’ it squealed. 

‘Do we get our hot drinks then?’

‘Yes, yes, yes.’

‘That’s a good little girl.’  I slapped him on the forehead with the flat of the blade and shoved him back over the bar.  He landed on the floor with a crash.  ‘Go get it.’

He scrambled to his feet knocking over a few glasses in his haste.  ‘Good grief, he's peed himself,’ exclaimed Mr. D’Ord more than a little stunned at what had just transpired.

‘I hate it when they do that.’  I mused absentmindedly.

‘I’m not surprised, that is some fucking knife.’  Ivan seemed well impressed.

‘Aye.’  I held it in front of me.  It was long black and gleamed dully in the interior lighting. 

‘May I?’  He held out a hand.  I passed it over.

‘Be careful,’ I warned, ‘It can take a finger off before you’ve noticed.’

His eyes gleaned with a perverse delight.  ‘This is highly illegal.’ 

‘No, it’s illegal to buy or sell them, there’s no laws about making them.’ 

He passed it on to Mr. D’Ord.  I had to admit it looked good in their large hands.  ‘You made this?’

‘Aye.’

‘What kind of metal is it?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine.  We found it after that meteor shower we had three years ago.  It was murder to work.’ 

He gave me one of those looks, ‘The government demanded all pieces handed in.’

‘Fuck them; it wasn’t their barn it half demolished.’  I told them a short version of what happened.

Mr. D’Ord handed it back.  ‘I still think you cheated though.’

I could see his concern at my actions ran deeper than that.  ‘Aye well I’m sorry about that but I just can’t stand poofs.’

‘What makes you think he’s gay?’

‘When you’ve been pestered by as many of them as I have you can spot one a mile off.’ 

That brought a hint of amusement.  ‘I can’t see you as the type of fellow they’d normally bother.’

‘Aye well I was fine until I started wearing glasses.’  They were waiting for an explanation; I sighed and went on.  ‘Twice a year I used to get a crew cut alright which was fine until I started wearing glasses.  Unknown to me they are identical to the ones a presenter on gay TV wears.  He also has a crew cut making me a ringer.  The next thing I knew every poof and closet in the area was trying it on in the taxi, it was a nightmare.’

They were both laughing at me.  Ivan asked the question, ‘How long did it take you to find out you were a ringer?’

‘A year.’  They were now in danger of peeing themselves.  It was a girlfriend of mine who liked to watch one of their chat shows that put me onto it.  I couldn’t believe it.  I didn’t actually look like the man; it was just the overall image.’

‘You poor sod!  Is that why you grew your hair long,’ asked Mr. D’Ord.

‘Aye, it was cheaper than replacing the glasses.’

‘You seem to have been left with a bit of a complex about it.’

I shuddered.  ‘Aye I can’t help it, Christ it wouldn’t have been so bad if they’d asked if I was queer.  But oh no, they’ve got to start pawing ye an offering ye money first,’ I began to rage.  That set them off again. 

‘It still doesn’t explain why you’re carrying that monstrosity around with you.’  Mr. D’Ord wiped a tear away. 

‘Och that was that lot, once they’d clapped eyes on it they wouldn’t leave me alone.’

‘Yes I see, pestering you for shotties no doubt.’  Ivan quipped.

‘You’ve got the general picture.’

The door opened and an old lady appeared baring a tray laden with tea and coffee.  She seemed amused by something.  ‘Mr. D’Ord Sir are these for you.’

‘Ah yes Molly, they are, thank you.’

I went over and took the tray from her.  ‘Thank you, what happened to Martin?  Chef sent him to get changed; he’s well - messed himself.’  She fled in a fit of giggles.

I had it out with Ivan over his dirty look, it seemed Buff put him up to it to prove some obscure point he had and so we settled down to an argument.  Mr. D’Ord claimed I had cheated by using the knife.  I was arguing while Ivan was trying to remain neutral to little avail.

‘You have to agree with me Ivan.’

‘I’m sorry sir but that is a fucking big knife.’

The argument raged on in fine style for a few minutes until we were interrupted.  I had been in the process of putting my cup back down.  When I looked up my eyes locked onto the nicest pair of tits, I’ve ever seen trying to push their way out of an army jumper.  Mr. D’Ord cleared his throat to gain my attention.

‘Uhhh’

By the look on his face, he didn’t know whether to laugh or scream.  ‘Lieutenant Murison, Lieutenant Bryce.’

I looked up at the rest of her and very nice it was too.  Black hair and brown eyes you could drown in.  ‘Fit like?’  I went back to my coffee.

‘Murison,’ he growled. 

‘Fit!’  I was bemused at his tone; he seemed about to start shouting when the penny dropped.

‘This is Samantha Bryce, Sam.’

‘Oh right, fit did ye no say for.’

Colour had crept into her cheeks.  She had taken an instant dislike to me, so I looked her up and down again just to annoy the shit out of her.  The colour raced in.

‘So what does she know about what we are doing?’

‘Sam and Reginald both know what we’re trying to achieve here and why.’

‘That will save a lot of problems.  Have you had anything to drink lately,’ I asked indicating the thermos jugs.

‘Eh, no I haven’t.’

‘Then you’d better sit down and grab one while you can we’re going to be busy.’ 

‘Oh yes OK.’  She sat down and poured herself a cup of tea, side tracked for the moment.

‘Sir we have another meeting in ten minutes.’  Ivan prompted.

‘OK then we’d better leave you two, to it.’  They stood to leave. 

‘Remember and watch your backs.’  I warned.

‘I thought you said they’d only go after the best.’  D’Ord smirked.

‘Aye well if I was them you’d be first and dinna start bloody crowing either.’

He laughed it off but Ivan didn’t.  I caught his eye and he nodded, he’d take care of it.  We said goodbye again and they left.

‘Right the first thing we’ll need is a base to work from.’  I suggested.

‘I’ll see if I can find somewhere in Timbuktu.’ 

Oops, the fighting light was back in her eyes, before I could answer I felt a presence behind me.  I whirled round on my way up and found myself almost face to face with a very tall and elegant old gentleman. 

‘Sorry old chap didn’t mean to give you a fright; just came over for a paper.’  He picked one up from a coffee table.  ‘Hello Samantha, how are you today.’

‘Fine sir and you.’

‘Oh splendid, simply splendid, I say is that tea, how unusual.’  He looked round.  ‘I thought Martin was on today.  Could you spare a cup for a thirsty old man?’