After the Ending (35 page)

My head was still pounding from the earlier barrage of
other people’s emotions—terror, sorrow, guilt, relief—and from witnessing
Jake’s dreams.
Embrace it, Zoe. You’re alive.
I ran my fingers through
my soapy hair. As it fanned down my lower back, I considered whether cutting if
off would be more…practical.

After I’d finished showering, braided my hair, and
dressed, I headed back upstairs toward one of the empty hospital rooms Sarah
had readied for us, only stopping when I heard Biggs’s muffled voice coming
from behind a metal door. I tiptoed closer to the door and leaned in to listen.

“…to make a choice. We can’t do both, we lost too much
fuel in the fire,” Biggs said.

Harper grumbled something indiscernible. More loudly, he
said, “Then we have to go.”

“How do we move him?” Biggs’s voice sounded concerned,
and he seemed to have a hard time saying his next words. “Will he even make
it?”

“Shit, I have no idea,” Harper said.

The sound of someone kicking something startled me.

Harper continued, “He should be fine, assuming he
regenerates fast enough. But I haven’t seen much of a change yet. I don’t know
how fast it works or how thoroughly he’ll recover.”

As I processed their conversation, I wondered how we’d
get Jake anywhere without hurting him. Because Jones and Taylor had sabotaged
all the vehicles we’d found on base, our options were limited—all we had at our
disposal was the van Jake had fixed…and Dave’s truck.
The police cruiser’s
too small to be useful.

“I wish I had better news,” Biggs mumbled. “Sanchez
thinks we should leave tomorrow at first light.”

Not wanting to hear any more, I continued on toward the
prepared rooms and didn’t stop until I reached a bed. Lying down, my body
surrendered to sleep almost instantly.

After a couple hours of restless dreams and another few of
prepping to leave, I helped Sarah load our meager belongings into the vehicles.
The black van would transport Jake, bandaged and unconscious.

“I’m sort of worried about finding my folks,” Sarah
admitted as we loaded Harper’s medical supplies into the back of the van.

Seeing movement out of the corner of my eye, I jumped.
It’s
just a bird.
Not knowing Clara’s whereabouts was making me paranoid, but I
felt safer when I noticed Cooper trotting over to us.

Sarah seemed oblivious to my skittishness and continued,
“I mean, I’ve come to terms with the fact they’re probably dead, but I don’t
want to
find
them.”

Sympathetic, I tried to reassure her. “We’ll check the house
for you, Sarah. You won’t have to see anything. I wouldn’t want you to remember
them that way.”

    She smiled gratefully. “Did you ever
figure out what happened to your dad?”

“Yeah, Dani found out he died, but I don’t know much more
than that. I try not to think about it, to be honest.”

“What about your mom?”

I shrugged. “She died a long time ago. I never really
think about her,” I lied.

“Oh,” was all Sarah said in response. We didn’t talk
about our parents anymore after that, but I could still feel her apprehension
about returning home.

“By the way, thanks for letting us stay at your house. It
means a lot to me, especially now,” I said, thinking of Jake.

Lost in thought, Sarah frowned. “Zoe, do you ever think
about Jordan?” Her shame tickled my consciousness.

I shook my head guiltily. But then I reined in my
emotions—thinking of everyone who was gone was a slippery slope of misery I
didn’t want to slide down. I tucked the last case of medicine into the van, and
we walked back into the hospital.

“Really? I haven’t either…not that I don’t care,” she
added hastily. “I just feel like so much is going on, and I haven’t had much
time to stop and think about it.” She paused. “I feel bad.”

I nudged her as we trudged through the emergency room
doors. “I think that’s normal.”

“Maybe it’s our mind’s way of protecting us,” Sarah said
wistfully.

“Yeah, probably,” I agreed. “Let’s see if they need any
help moving Jake.”

She nodded, and we headed toward the trauma room. When we
arrived, Harper and Biggs were still packing up a few things, so we stood
beside Jake’s bed and waited. My eyes wandered to the charred cover of the
sketchbook lying on the bedside table. I still hadn’t opened it.  

Sarah followed my line of sight. “There’s tons of drawing
stuff at my house. You’re welcome to it,” she offered. “My dad used to draw a
lot.”

I felt an unexpected sense of relief. “Thanks, Sarah.
That’d be great.”

She watched the sketchbook like it might do a trick.
“It’s…sort of amazing that he rescued that from the fire.”

“I just hope he makes it so I can ask him why,” I said,
shaking my head.

“He will, Zoe. Biggs told me about his healing thing.
What makes the burns any different from the bullet wound?”
Or the knife
wound…

I stared at Jake’s gauze-wrapped body. “I guess it’s just
that…well…it’s hard to imagine someone surviving something like this. Don’t you
think?”

“Of course,” she said, “but people are changing. I’m not
sure we can count on anything we used to think was normal.”

 I nodded.

“Besides, I think you know why.”

My brow furrowed, and I glanced at her. “Why what?”

“Why he saved your sketchbook.” Sarah gave me a knowing
smirk. “He
likes
you,” she sang.

I couldn’t help but smile back at her. “Thank you,
Sarah,” I said, hoping she knew how grateful I was for her friendship over the
past month. Though her presence used to annoy me, I’d come to rely on it.

Nudging me, she said, “You’d do the same for me.”

Dani

Date: January 4, 11:25 PM

From: Danielle O’Connor

To: Zoe Cartwright

Subject: Spoke to soon…

Zo,

So, you know how I said I couldn’t believe the internet
still worked so well? I’m such an idiot. I should’ve known saying that would
curse it. It’s been spotty all day. Not awesome. I haven’t heard from you in a
while—I’m hoping it’s just ‘cause your connection is spotty too. I’m starting
to freak out a bit, so please send me a message soon.

Last night was the town meeting. I went with Jason, Ky, and
Chris. They have a pretty good setup over there at the marina. I was worried we
might run into Crazies, but we made it safely. Anyway, the meeting went well.
Mr. Grayson and the other council members were eager for news from outside the
area. It was so amazing, Zo—there were dozens of people! And some were people
we know! Charlene was there, and the Freeman twins, and Dan Benson. Anyway, at
the end of the meeting, they invited our group to join their little community.
We turned the offer down, but it was nice to feel included. We told them all
about the Colony and about your little group. We did not, however, discuss
Abilities (what the people here call “talents”) at all.

Here’s the crazy news…Mr. Grayson is coming with us to
Colorado! He’s functioning as an emissary for the folks at the marina, so he
left with us after the meeting.

Anyway, Chris has taken charge of figuring out how these
crazy new powers work and is helping us all learn to control them. She has Ben,
Ky, and me doing mental exercises at pretty much every available moment. BTW,
I’ve noticed a link between using my telepathy and feeling crappy afterwards.
If I push myself too hard, I get so cold that it becomes hard to breathe, and
my vision darkens. Chris has a theory that everyone might experience some sort
of negative symptoms if they overexert their Abilities, though nobody else in
my group has noticed it. Have you? Maybe I’m just pushing myself too hard. It’s
weird, but Chris thinks practice will strengthen my brain enough to do a lot
more before experiencing the negative aftereffects.

That’s it on my end. Miss you, Zo! Please write to me soon…I
need to know you’re alive.

Ciao,

Dani

Shutting the laptop, I set it on the couch beside me, stood,
and stretched. Aside from the gentle glow of the fireplace set in the adjacent
wall, my cozy, makeshift bedroom was dark. We kept the fires going pretty much
all hours of the day—we had a huge stockpile of wood, so there really wasn’t a
reason not to. Plus, it was cold, and the rain hadn’t stopped for two days.

Figuring everyone was asleep, I snuck down the dark
hallway to the back room where we’d run extension cords from the generator in
through a window. The house rule was: if you unplugged anything to use it in
another room, plug it back into the generator when you’re finished. Period.

I set the laptop on an old cedar chest and plugged it in
to charge. Duty fulfilled, I headed across the hallway to the kitchen in search
of a midnight snack. Two steps into the room, I paused. Along with the faint
orange glow from the great room’s fireplace, the murmur of hushed voices was
sneaking under the closed door at the far side of the kitchen.

I couldn’t help but listen in. The snoopy gossip in me
needed to eavesdrop on the secret conversation taking place beyond that door.
Carefully, I tiptoed closer.

Jason’s voice became clear as I approached. “…you. I’m
not interested in her like that.”
Her? Her, who? Me?

I wasn’t surprised when Chris responded; they almost
always spent the late night hours strategizing. “Well,
she’s
definitely
interested in
you
like that. You should clear up this little
misunderstanding before we end up with another difficult situation. Think about
it…we can’t risk Dani going off on her own again just because you have women
issues.”
They
are
talking about me!

“She said she wouldn’t!” Jason snapped.
And I won’t! Crap! Shut up thoughts! Crap!
Stay in my head!

“Oh come on, Jason. Don’t be so dense. This is exactly
the kind of thing that could push her over the edge.” After a long pause, Chris
added, “We may not be able to find her next time.”

Jason’s response was too quiet for me to hear.

“You’re an arrogant ass, you know,” Chris told him.

Ignoring her, Jason said, “I don’t have women issues.”

Chris snorted softly. “Jason, you’ve had women issues
since the day I met you, and you always will. It’s just who you are. Talk to
her, soon…while it’s still manageable.”

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Not if I don’t
let him…

Having heard enough to make my chest ache, I hurried on
silent feet back to my room and crawled under the blankets on the couch. I
couldn’t believe he’d kissed me—had been nearly naked in a bathtub with me—but
wasn’t interested.
How could I have been so stupid to think any of that
mattered?
He’d been exceptionally distant since I’d rejoined the group, even
when he was standing right beside me.
Open your eyes, Dani…he doesn’t care.

Slow, tormenting hours passed before I finally fell into
a fitful sleep. For once, my dreams were completely devoid of both rotting Cam
and
my friendly dream invader. Instead my night was filled with nightmares of
falling and drowning. I blamed Jason.

When I woke, I felt like a piece of Jack’s poo. My poor dog
had spent most of the night whimpering softly on the floor beside the couch,
staring up at me with worried eyes.

“Hon, you look like shit,” Chris told me as I sat beside
her in front of the great room’s fireplace. Grumpily, I wondered if she was
sitting in the same place as she had been when she told Jason to “clear up this
little misunderstanding” with me.

“Tell me about it,” I grumbled. Zoning out, I watched her
stir thick oatmeal in an iron pot on the fire.

During my morning hygiene routine, I’d done everything I
could to mask the havoc wreaked by my restless night—my hair was a tangled mess
I’d managed to wrangle into a braid, and dark circles shadowed my eyes. To top
it off, I’d run into Jason four times in the forty minutes since I’d left my
room. I was pretty sure the encounters were intentional, probably so he could
get the “clearing up” over with. Like a real adult, I fled every time I saw
him.

His latest attempt to waylay me had come as I’d entered
the great room. I’d scurried away and sought shelter next to Chris.

“What was that all about?” Chris asked, motioning in
Jason’s direction with her elbow. He was leaning against the doorframe,
blocking almost the entire doorway as he pretended not to watch me. His arms
were crossed, and there was a crease between his eyebrows.

“What?” I asked, aiming for innocence.

Apparently my wide eyes and parted mouth didn’t fool
Chris. She snorted. “You totally just shunned Jason. Why’re you avoiding him?”

Pulling up my knees, I hugged them to my chest. “Maybe I
don’t want to hear what he has to say.”

“Why? You don’t want to visit your house?”

“What?” I asked sharply.

“He’s going to his dad’s place to look through some
things and thought you might want to go with him.” She frowned. “You know, stop
by your grandma’s…since we’re leaving in a few days and all…”

“But I thought—” I snapped my mouth shut before I could
reveal my clandestine, late-night activities.

“You thought
what
?”

“Nothing,” I said too quickly. My face burned with
embarrassment, and part of me wanted to jump into the fire to avoid saying
anything else.

“Right. Tell me, or I’ll pick you up and carry you over
to him myself,” Chris threatened.

“Fine,” I grumbled. “I sort of…
overheard
you and
Jason talking last night.”

As she stared at me, I could almost see the conversation
replaying in her mind. She was slowly shaking her head, not understanding what
I was getting at.

I pursed my lips. “He said he wasn’t interested in me,
and you said he needed to ‘clear things up’ before I get upset and take off
again—which won’t happen, by the way. He was right about that. At least
he
trusts me.”

To my abject mortification, Chris barked a laugh. “I was
telling him to clear things up with
Holly
, you ninny. I was worried
she’d turn into another Cece, obsessing over him like an idiot. She’s already
halfway there.” She snorted and continued, “And Jason…well, he’s incapable of
discouraging
any
woman. I think he flirts unconsciously.”

Breathless, I felt like my heart was about to explode.
“Oh, I thought…I didn’t know she was so into him. I mean, I knew she was into
him, just not as much as…other people.”

Chris watched me with a small smile tugging at her lips.
“Other people? Who could you possibly mean?” she asked, batting her eyelashes.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “Just…people.”

“Oh!” she said, smacking her palm against her forehead in
mock surprise. “You must be referring to the ‘other people’ I’m talking to
right now!”

I blushed furiously and glanced at Jason. He was still
leaning against the doorframe, and I was desperately hoping our voices were
quiet enough to be drowned out by the crackling of  the fire.

“You should talk to him…
alone
,” Chris told me.

“Why? What if…I don’t know…” Joy and misery mixed into a
heavy lump that settled in my stomach. Was it possible that Jason had actually
developed feelings akin to mine, that he was interested in me? That he desired
me? It was something I’d written off for so long that I had a hard time
allowing myself to consider the possibility, even after the kiss. I suddenly
felt like hyperactive butterflies had taken up residence in my chest.

“Just do it,” Chris said, ladling oatmeal into a bowl.
She shoved the dish into my hands. “The sugar and stuff’s on the table over
there. By Jason. Convenient, don’t you think?”

I tried to smile my thanks, but I probably looked more
like I was about to be sick. With shaking hands, I carried the steaming bowl to
the table and set it down. I took a deep breath and faced Jason. He loomed
casually a few paces away.

“Dani.”
Oh, he’s
definitely annoyed.

“Jason,” I said breathily, voicing his name more like a
caress than the curt greeting I’d intended.

“Why’ve you been…never mind. I’m going to my dad’s soon.
Do you want to come? We could stop by your house too.”

I couldn’t believe it; Chris had been right. Part of me
had still expected him to crush my heart by telling me my infatuation was
hopeless.

“Um…yeah. I’d like that,” I said, sounding like I was
accepting an offer for dinner and a movie.

He stared at me for a few seconds, face blank, and then
said, “When’ll you be ready?”

“I just need to eat…and get my weapons…and saddle the
horses, so…”

“I can take care of the horses.”

My eyebrows raised of their own accord.

“What? I’m a quick learner,” he said with a shrug.
“Especially when you’re my teacher.” He turned away from me and walked toward
the back door.

What does that even mean?
I thought as I watched
his retreating form.

“I’ll be waiting, Red. Enjoy your breakfast,” he said
before shutting the door.

I did. As I devoured the brown sugar and raisin-loaded
mush, I decided oatmeal was my new favorite food. I ate quickly—mostly because
I was eager for the promise of alone time with Jason, but also because I was
looking forward to being home again. No matter what happened in my life,
Grams’s house would always be home.

I scrubbed my bowl clean in the kitchen, stopped by my
temporary bedroom to gear up, rounded up Jack, and headed out to the stable…to
Jason. I found him in the driveway with Wings and a chestnut Thoroughbred, both
saddled for riding. A dense fog spread out as far as I could see. I took my
time examining his handiwork while Wings whined incessantly in my head about wearing
a bridle.

“Oh, Pretty Girl, I’m taking it off right now,” I told
the pouting mare as I undid the leather straps.

Watching, Jason said, “Sorry. I forgot she doesn’t need
one. Is she…mad?”

I laughed and hoisted myself into the saddle. “Not
really. But you owe her an apple—her words, not mine.” Wings began walking
lazily down the gravel driveway.

Jason mounted his horse with ease and caught up quickly.
“Well, good. I’d hate to have her for an enemy. She seems fierce.”

“He says you’re fierce,”
I told the majestic
animal beneath me, and her gait gained some prance. “You did a good job,” I
told Jason as our horses’ hooves crunched along in the gravel. “I’m impressed.”

Jason chuckled. “Red, don’t you know impressing you is my
number one priority?” His words were light and teasing.
Someone’s in a
better mood.

Bringing my hand up to my chest, I gasped
melodramatically, “Oh my! If impressing me is number one, what comes in at
number two?”

He looked at me askance, his eyes narrowing to
mischievous slits. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Smiling, I shook my head. The sound of the horses’ hooves
changed from crunching to clopping as we reached the paved road.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” I moved Wings closer to Jason’s
horse and took the picture out of my pocket, handing it to him. “I’ve been
meaning to give you this. I was going to when I told you about your dad,
but…well…you know what happened. Grams found it in your dad’s hand. He was also
holding this,” I said, fingering the heavy silver chain around my neck. I pulled
the attached key out from the collar of my coat—it was warm from lying against
my skin.