After the Ending (45 page)

I was glad no one else in our group could feel people’s
emotions and see their memories like I could. I couldn’t imagine someone
glimpsing into the unruly depths of my consciousness.

After giving Harper a peck on the cheek, I took a step
back. The world spun a little as I turned and walked down the porch steps. The
music was giving me a headache, and the serenity of the lake seemed like the
perfect solution.

“Where are you going?” Harper called.

“Just taking a breather!” I yelled back as I wandered
down the path and disappeared into the trees.

Zoe

Dizzily, I trudged to the lake. The crickets were silent as
I walked, only resuming their chirping song when I settled myself on the end of
the dock. I pulled my legs up against my chest and looked out at the ripples in
the water, wondering what lived beneath the lake’s surface.
If Dani was
here, she’d be daring me to jump into the frigid water. Not a chance
, I
thought drunkenly.

I was glad I’d lasted long enough to see the sunset—burnt
orange and pink filled the sky as the sun sank behind the hills, its rays
casting a glowing haze over the forest. It was strange to think that the same
sun had shone in the skies over Fort Knox. So much had happened at the base, it
seemed like a lifetime had been folded into mere weeks.

A gust of wind shook me from thoughts of darker times,
and I hugged my legs closer. I was in no state of mind to go back to the
others, so I rested my head on my knees and closed my eyes, hoping the forest
would stop spinning around me.

Unfortunately, my solitude was disrupted by the sound of
two-by-fours creaking under slow, heavy footsteps.

“You doing okay?” Jake’s voice rumbled.

My eyes flew open, but I didn’t move. “Fine. Just thought
I’d get some air,” I said, hoping the extent of my drunkenness wasn’t
completely obvious.

“Are you sure you’re fine? I watched you wobble out
here.”

I looked back at Jake, who’d stopped a few steps behind
me, and gave him an evil stare before refocusing on the gently rippling surface
of the water. I reminded myself not to be distracted by his alluring ruggedness—I
was still hurt he’d withheld such alarming information from me.

It was silent for a moment before he spoke. “So you
heard.”

“Yeah,” I said. “You should’ve told me.”
Although
I didn’t want to have such an important conversation in my jumbled state, I was
curious about the truth.

Jake took a step closer and crouched down beside me. “Do
you think that would’ve made a difference?”

“Um…
yeah
!” I blurted. “I can look for trouble
better if I know it’s coming. How does no one see that?” I leaned back,
uncoiling from my warm ball of body heat.

Jake remained silent for a moment, then sullenly said, “I
didn’t know if it was true. I thought it was…crazy…until I actually saw you.
Then…” He stalled. “I still couldn’t really believe it. I didn’t want to tell
you beforehand because you’d worry all the time, and I was still trying to
figure out what I should do when…”

His ambivalence toward me from the moment we met—the
first time he saved my life—suddenly made sense. “That’s why you stayed after
you killed Jones and Taylor?” I asked, looking over at him curiously. I was
secretly surprised I’d connected the dots after so many drinks. “You told me
you were leaving, but you stayed.”

There was something thoughtful about his demeanor as he
stood and looked out at the lake.
Is he searching for the answers he thinks
I want to hear?

“Just be honest with me,” I pleaded softly.

“I didn’t know what the hell to do,” he said roughly. I
could feel his uncertainty and frustration. “I didn’t know how you’d die or how
I’d cause it. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous. But if there was any
truth to it, I didn’t know whether I should stay…or just leave.” He looked down
at me attentively. The light reflecting off the water’s surface brightened his
usually shadowed features. “Then you said you were going to Colorado on your
own, and I knew that was a bad idea. I told Sanchez everything. I hoped she
could change your mind, but she didn’t know what to do either.”

I still didn’t understand. “What do you mean you’d
‘cause’ my death? Who told you that, anyway?”

Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, Jake looked back
out at the water. “‘She’ll die because of you’,” he said forcefully. “‘The
woman with the long black hair and teal eyes…you’ll save her, but she’ll die
because of you.’ That was the last thing my sister said before she died.”

Hearing his words, I felt sick to my stomach. I closed my
eyes, trying to forget the feeling of impending death—both during Taylor’s
attack and during the poisoning.

Sitting up, I sighed heavily and massaged my temples. “I
still can’t believe I didn’t
see
any of this.”

“I told you you’re not very good at reading people.” He
looked down at me, smiling playfully.

I was surprised by his attempt at humor, and I couldn’t
help but grin. “So, do you
always
joke at my expense or am I just lucky
to be around when you’re in such a good mood?”

“You’re just lucky, I guess.” His sexy smile made my
insides flutter.

“Your sister was like Harper,” I said, abruptly changing
the subject. In my intoxicated stupor, it had taken me a moment to process
Jake’s earlier words.

He nodded. “I didn’t know what was wrong with
Becca
then, but they said they’d seen cases like hers and
could help us.” I knew he meant the military people I’d been introduced to
through his memories. “She must’ve seen what they were gonna do to her.”

I became lost in thought, wondering what future horrors
Becca
had viewed that would make killing herself seem like
the best option.

Jake’s eyes turned imploring. “I’m
not
going to
let you go there alone. I know we aren’t sure the same people are involved with
the Colony, but why take the chance? Think of what they might do to you if they
find out about your Ability.”

Instantly, I was furious. He had no right to tell me what
to do. “You’re not gonna
let
me? I’m going…and I’m going alone.
Nothing’s changed,” I told him, but the moment I said the words, I knew they
weren’t true, and Jake’s expression confirmed it.

“Right.” He shook his head and stalked passed me, back
toward the shore.    

I struggled to stand. “Just because you saved my life
doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do!” I called after him, surprised by
the desperation in my voice. The sound of Jake’s footsteps on the dock
reinforced the distance growing between us—our relationship seemed to be
unraveling before it even started.

“Fine,” he said, and my heart seemed to constrict at the
coldness of that single word.

Shit.
My head was a jumbled mess of wishes,
desires, and frustrations…and drunkenness. Stumbling after him, I yelled, “What
exactly do you want from me, Jake? You want honesty? You want me to tell you
that I want you? That I need you? Well it’s true, and it drives me insane.” My
breathing was ragged.

“You want me to go back to pushing you away? Done,” he
said flatly and continued walking.

“Really? Just like that? You act like it would be so
easy—”

He stopped and turned, glaring at me like I’d slapped him
in the face. “It won’t be
easy
,” he said heatedly. “But you’re either so
busy worrying that
nothing
will work out, or too scared that it
will
,
that you’re not even willing to try. If not having me in your life is easier
for you, then fine.” He started to walk away again.

“You’re such an asshole!” I knew he was right, but I
didn’t like him calling me out so easily. I ran after him, but after only a few
steps, my feet were moving faster than I could manage and I tripped.
Instinctively, I thrust out my hands to break my fall as my knees hit the dock.
“Shit,” I hissed as the rough boards scraped my palms.

Even in my drunkenness, embarrassment burned inside me. I
sat back on my heels and stared down at my stinging palms, wishing everything
with Jake had been easier from the beginning. Instead, since we’d met, we’d
been pushing each other away—because of prophecies, stubbornness, and fear.

“Zoe.” I hadn’t realized Jake had stopped walking away
until I heard the boards creak under his feet again. “Are you okay?” he asked,
his voice a mixture of anger and concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said pathetically, refusing to look
up him. “Just leave me here…maybe the
animals’ll
drag
me away.”

He laughed despite his anger. “That’s not overly dramatic
or anything.” Crouching down in front of me, he gripped my arms tightly. “I’ll
help you up.”

“Let me, please. I’d at least like to keep
some
of
my dignity intact.”

Jake let go and took a step back to let me rise on my
own.

Straightening, I looked into his eyes. They radiated an
urgency I’d never seen in them before. I tilted my head, trying to decipher the
meaning behind his intense expression, and began to feel extremely
self-conscious.

“Please don’t look at me like that,” I pleaded quietly. I
balled my hands into fists at my sides but couldn’t stop them from trembling.
Yearning and despondency floated in the air between us, and I was unable to
distinguish his emotions from my own. Mentally exhausted, I closed my eyes and
sighed.

“Nothing’s changed, huh?” Jake’s tone willed me to think
about everything that had transpired between us during the past few weeks. When
I opened my eyes he reached for my hands and examined the minute scrapes on my
palms. The heat of his touch swept through me, banishing rational
thought. 

“For whatever reason, I know you don’t want to let me
in…or maybe you just don’t know how.” He released my hands as he spoke, and I
reluctantly let them fall to my sides. “I can’t read
your
mind, and I
don’t understand you half the time…but I know what
I
want.” His voice
sounded calm—confident—but I could feel both fear and hope welling within him.

Jake’s vulnerability jump-started something inside me.

    He moved closer, and his jaw clenched.
“What are you afraid of?” I could feel his growing impatience.

“Jake, I—”

Swiftly, one of his hands grasped the back of my neck,
tangling in my loose hair, and his lips pressed against mine, fierce and hot.
Surprised, I stumbled back, but Jake slipped his arm around my waist, holding
me against him. His kiss was greedy, and I drank in his desire. His
overwhelming need awakened such an intense thirst in me that I couldn’t get
enough of him.

I clutched handfuls of his jacket to steady myself as he
backed me up against the nearest piling. Frenzied, he began to explore my
body—his mouth savoring the sensitive skin on my neck and under my jaw, while
his hands drifted down my back and lower. A pleasurable ache throbbed between
my thighs as he nudged his leg between mine.

My hands ventured up his broad chest, over his shoulders,
and combed through his short hair. I crushed his lips harder against mine. As
we kissed, lustful images from his mind began to invade mine.  

Us, panting in
unison. My nails digging into his bare back. His teeth grazing my collarbone,
and both of us crying out in pleasure.

A deep groan vibrated in his chest as the images flashed
through his mind. I wanted—no, needed—him more than I’d ever needed anyone
before. Impulsively, I reached for his belt, fumbling with his buckle.

Jake froze.

Our lips lingered together for a moment, and as he pulled
away, I whimpered in protest. I could still feel our combined desire humming
through my body, willing me to kiss him again.

Confused, I looked up at him. “Why are we stopping?” I
asked through swollen lips. He took a step back, and my heart seemed to stop
completely. “Um, excuse me. Where are you going?”

Jake shook his head, taking another step backward as he
tried to control his breathing. “You’re drunk.”

I scoffed. “I’m not
that
drunk. Besides, most guys
would…” I stopped talking as his eyes flared with warning—Jake wasn’t most
guys.

Running his hand over his hair, he reeled in the
excitement rolling through him. “I’d like you to remember this tomorrow,” he
said, sexual frustration apparent in his tone.

Although I felt slighted by his comment, I let it go.
There was no way I could ever forget a moment like that, no matter how many
drinks I’d consumed. Knowing what it felt like to have his body pressed against
mine made me crave more. I needed to be closer to him, in any way possible.

“I came out here to bring you into the house,” he said
with an amused smile. He walked over to the edge of the dock and sat down.

“I’m
glad
you came out here,” I said, plopping
down beside him.

He glanced at me and lifted his arm, allowing me to
nestle against him. I was surprised by how easy it was to be affectionate with
him. He was right, a lot
had
changed.

My fingers explored the waistband of his pants as my mind
drifted to heady thoughts of kisses and nakedness and… “What’s this?” I asked,
feeling something hard and leather strapped to his belt. “Your knife,” I
answered for him. Momentarily distracted, I unclipped it from his belt.

Jake watched me as I examined it.

“It’s really cool. I like the wood handle.” I held it up
in the moonlight. “It looks old. Where’d you get it?”

Jake stared at it for a moment. “Someone gave it to me
when I was a kid.” I saw an image of an older man, a grandfather perhaps, flash
in his mind. I could tell the knife meant a lot to Jake.

“I like it.” I flipped open the blade and turned it over
on my palm, thinking about how useful a knife would’ve been during the past few
weeks. “I should get one.” It was compact enough to store in my pocket, but the
blade was menacing and sharp. “It could really do some damage,” I said, slicing
it through the air.

“Not a bad idea,” Jake said, reclaiming the knife and
putting it away. “But maybe you should wait to practice your
slasher
moves until you can at least walk without falling.”
He glanced over at me with a rueful grin.

“You’re hilarious,” I deadpanned and once again rested my
head on his shoulder.