After the Ending (43 page)

“We’ll do what we can,” he said, finding my hand and
squeezing it. “We should get the hell outta here…who knows how these people are
gonna react now.”

Before Ky or I could respond, the man with blood dripping
from his fingertips regained his composure enough to speak. “Uh, I don’t
suppose…would it be okay if I came with you guys?” His voice was surprisingly
timid. “I don’t have anyone left, and I can’t stay here. It’s too…there’re too
many memories.”

“I don’t know,” Jason said hesitantly, likely considering
the group’s safety. However, the excuse he voiced was, “We don’t have any extra
horses.”

I studied the man more closely, trying to look past the
thick coating of crimson covering his body, and realized he was far younger
than I’d thought. “How old are you?”

“I turned sixteen last week,” he said.
Holy crap…he’s
just a kid! No wonder he reacted like he did.
An idea formed in my mind.

“How much do you weigh?”

He looked confused, but answered, “One forty, maybe a
little more.”

“He can ride with
me on Wings,”
I suggested to Jason.

“But you said two people couldn’t—”

“No. I said you and
I couldn’t…you’re too big. But Wings can handle this kid and me.”

“He’ll be touching you…all day,” Jason growled.

“I won’t touch her,” the kid said, sounding frantic. “Why
would I touch her? Not that there’s something wrong with her, you know? I’d
totally touch her…no, I mean…shit!”

“Hush,” I told the teenage boy. Under all that blood, he
truly was adorable. He’d probably been a heartbreaker at his high school before
the world went to hell.

“He’s just a kid,
Jason,”
I implored, raising his palm to my lips.
“Besides, if he’s riding with me, he can make sure I don’t fall off.
You and Chris both keep telling me about how I’m swaying in the saddle.”

After a moment of thought, Jason answered, “Fine, but
he’s your responsibility. And if he steps one foot wrong, he’s out.” Despite
his harsh warning, something in his eyes told me he was glad I’d given him a
reason to say yes.

“I won’t step a foot wrong. I swear!” the kid promised.

“Thank you. You’re a very good man,” I whispered to
Jason, wishing I could wash the sour taste from my mouth so I could kiss him.
“Um…you don’t have any gum, by any chance, do you?”

“Uh, yeah, I think I do.” Miraculously, after fishing
around in several pockets, Jason pulled out a deliciously minty stick of breath
relief wrapped in its pretty foil package.

“Oh my God! You’re so amazing!” I moaned after the first
few chews.

Jason chuckled but said nothing. Catching the devilish
glint in his eyes, I turned rosy.

“What’s your name?” I asked the young man as we exited
the yurt.

“Carlos.”

“Carlos,” Jason said. “Go wash that shit off.” He
motioned toward the lakeshore a few yards away. “And do it quickly.” The kid
obeyed, even though the lake water had to be painfully cold.

Eventually, we made our way back to our campsite,
stopping briefly at Carlos’s tent so he could change and gather his things. The
scene surrounding us was utterly heart-breaking—some people wailed and moaned
on the ground, while others screamed and tore at their hair. Even the other
Prophets seemed to have been set free from Mandy’s control, and they looked
equally as miserable as everyone else.
What did she do to these people? Will
they ever be okay again?
Despair, self-hatred, and guilt clouded the
impermanent village, and I couldn’t help but think,
Zoe would be in hell
right now.

When we reached our companions, Jason introduced Carlos
and said, “From now on, we avoid all groups of people larger than our own until
we get to the Colony, understand?” While we’d been at Carlos’s tent, I’d filled
the others in on everything that had happened inside the Temple, so nobody
argued with the need to pack up and leave as quickly as possible.

Everyone nodded, except Holly and Hunter. “Sir,” Holly
said, “I’m staying here.”

Jason studied her face for a long moment. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “It’s just too hard without Dalton…He was a
good friend, and I really need a change. Besides, I think these people could
use all the help they can get.” She was right; the crowd of strangers seemed
lost, completely helpless.

Hunter stepped up beside Holly. “I’m staying too.”

“It’s your decision,” Jason said and nodded toward the
horses. “You can keep your horses and a goat each, but the rest of the animals
come with us. We’ve got too much shit to give up a pack horse.”

They agreed, we all said tearful goodbyes, and they
disappeared among the despairing survivors. It was surprisingly difficult to
watch them walk away, considering I hadn’t known either of them well. But Holly
and Hunter had been there—unrequested but constant companions—for a month.
Will we ever see them again?

I shook my head, reminding myself it wasn’t the time for
long, introspective moments. “We should probably get going,” I said to nobody
in particular.

“I know,” Jason said.

“We can still get a pretty good day’s ride in.”

“I know. Pack it up, guys.”

“It’d be nice to have some daylight by the time we make camp
today…especially with that promise you made earlier,” I said, looking at Jason
with wide, innocent eyes. There were several scandalous things I’d been
planning to do with him in the light of day. Besides, I needed something to
focus on other than the image of Mandy’s mutilated body.

“I know, Red,” Jason said, his blue eyes blazing.
“Everyone, move your asses!”

“You’re riding with me, kid,” I told Carlos after
everything was loaded back onto the pack animals.

“Kid?” he asked dubiously. “I’m bigger than you!”

“Stick with ‘kid’
and
things’ll
go easier for you. At least, as long as
you’re riding with me. Trust me,”
I said. Out loud I followed with, “Have
you ever ridden a horse?”

Carlos nodded. “My
abuelo
owned
a ranch in Texas. We’d visit every summer. He had a bunch of horses.”

“Well, hop up then. We need to get going.” It was
definitely going to be nice to have another person in the group who knew their
way around a horse.

It took us a few tries to figure out the best position
for two riders, but we settled for Carlos in the saddle with me wedged between
the horn and his lap—it only worked because I was petite enough to fit. It
wasn’t exactly comfortable, but the young man could easily hold me in place if
I started to sway. Unfortunately, Jason’s jaw clenched every time he looked at
us. I was getting the distinct feeling the arrangement wouldn’t last for long.

“There are rules,” I told Carlos as the horses trudged
along the snow-laden highway later that morning. “Well, it’s really just one
rule. Do whatever I tell you…or Jason,” I said and felt his body tense against
mine. “Don’t worry…it won’t be anything crazy. Besides, if you don’t like life
with us, you can always leave.”

“I heard what you said back there…about making the big
guy agree to take out anyone like Mandy,” Carlos said. “I want in. And…I won’t
leave you.”

“It’s your choice,” I told him.

“That’s why I won’t leave you,” he said softly, and I
nearly crumbled into tears. To have no will, no choice, was abominable. I clung
to the hope that the Colony would prevent us, including the young man sitting
behind me, from ever falling into such a twisted trap again.

That evening, after we’d put in another full day on
horseback and had set up camp, the sun ruined my indecent plans by setting—not
that it stopped Jason. At the first opportunity, he dragged me into our tent
and practically tore off my clothes.

“I don’t care if I have to walk. You’re not riding in
that kid’s lap again,” he stated, removing our final pieces of clothing.

“Fine.” I lured him down to the sleeping bags, pushed him
onto his back, and straddled his hips. “I’d rather ride in your lap anyway,” I
whispered, sheathing him inside me and savoring his satisfied groan. I spent
the rest of the evening showing him just how much I really meant those words.

Zoe

“Wake up!” Sarah hissed near my ear. It felt like I’d barely
closed my eyes when she tore the blankets off me. “Wake up!”

“
Whaaaat
?” I whined, peeling my
eyes open. The remnants of another restless night made my head feel like an
overgrown jungle of thorny thoughts. Ever since Jake told us that Clara had
held some sort of power over Tanya, I hadn’t been able to shake a feeling of
dread. When Clara wasn’t in my dreams, my dying mother was. It had been days
since I’d had any restful sleep.

“I need your full attention—every single drop of it. Come
on.” Hurrying to the drapes, Sarah pulled them open, and the light of dawn
stung my eyes.

“The sun is barely up,” I groaned, but my complaint fell
on deaf ears. “What’s so important,” I huffed. “And why so early?” I stretched
and wiggled in bed, trying to shake off the fog of bad dreams and to loosen my
achy muscles—training had resumed and was kicking my ass.

“Listen to me closely, Zoe. I need the brutal honesty
you’ve always been so good at giving…to
other
people.”

My eyebrows pulled together as I considered her words.
“I’m going to assume there was some flattery in there somewhere.”

Sarah waved my words aside and began pacing.

Groaning again, I sat up. The thought of leaving the
pillow-top mattress made me even grumpier. “Do I look as bad as I feel?”

“Yes, probably,” Sarah answered as she appraised my
appearance.

I folded my arms and leaned back against the pillows,
annoyed. “That was a rhetorical question, Sarah. Now, get on with it. What’s
going on?” She was anxious, still pacing back and forth. Her hair bounced in
its ponytail with each troubled step. “What?”

Pausing, Sarah looked at me through pleading, tired eyes.
“I think I’m…I think I’m pregnant.”

“What!” I screeched before I could stop myself. Sarah
having a child seemed like a cruel joke, but I could feel her turmoil and
immediately felt horrible for thinking that. Seeing the pathetic look in her
eyes, I made an effort to regain my composure. “I mean, are you sure?”

Shaking her head, Sarah resumed her preoccupied stride.
“Not completely, but I missed my period. It was supposed to come over a week
ago. I’m starting to assume the worst.”

“What are you gonna do?” Astonishment softened my voice.

She hurried over to the bed. “That’s what I need your
brutal honesty for, Zoe. I’m freaking out.” Her chest was rising and falling
like she’d just run up a dozen flights of stairs, and I could hear hysteria
creeping into her voice. “I need you to tell me what to do.”

“You don’t know for sure that you’re pregnant,” I
reminded her.

“Again, I’m starting to assume the worst.” She walked
toward the window, popping each of her knuckles as she stared outside.

Realizing the implication of her words—that being
pregnant would be a worst-case scenario—I asked, “I know it’s not ideal, given
the circumstances, but would you
never
want a baby with Biggs?”

“Do I seem like mother material to you? Because I’m
pretty sure I’d make a terrible one. Not to mention, this isn’t the best time
to be procreating.” Curling a tendril of her hair around her finger, she
resumed her pacing by walking to the door and then back again.

“Don’t you…you know…use protection? I mean, how did this
happen? No, don’t answer that.” I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head,
trying to dispel the images I’d conjured.

“I was on the pill for a while, but I ran out. We were
being careful, but there were a couple of times when we got a little…forgetful,
I guess you could say.” Her eyes were fearful. “This is huge, Zoe! What if he
doesn’t want a kid?”

Resting the back of my head against the top of the
mahogany headboard, I thought of Biggs and knew he’d be a great father. He had
enough patience and compassion for the both of them. I smiled, trying to
placate Sarah. “Don’t jump to conclusions, okay? First, let’s talk to Harper
and see if you’re right. You might just be late.
Then
we’ll worry about
Biggs and what to do, okay?”

Sarah nodded and seated herself on the edge of the bed,
biting her fingernails nervously. “I’ve been feeling sort of sick lately,” she
confessed while I got dressed. “I thought it was because of stress…maybe with
Clara and the whole Jake thing, but my gut’s telling me that’s just wishful
thinking.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out. I’ll go get
Harper, and you can tell him what you told me. He’ll know what to do.” I headed
toward the door.

“But what if he tells Riley?”

I stopped in my tracks. “
You
should tell him.
You’re right, Sarah, this is huge. Biggs needs to know.”

“I
will
tell him. I’m just scared. I’ve never been
in this position before. What if the thought of me being pregnant is revolting
to him?” she whined.

Placing my hands firmly on Sarah’s shoulders, I looked
into her eyes and very carefully said, “Whatever happens, just remember that
Biggs loves you. He’ll be supportive. He would want to know that you’re this
upset.” I straightened. “Who knows, he might even be able to make you feel
better about the whole thing.” I flashed a supportive smile and crossed the
room to the door. “I’ll be right back…try to think of fairies and princesses
while I’m gone,” I said, trying to lighten the mood before I scuttled out of
the room.

“That’s not funny!” she called through the door.

I searched the first floor, listening for muffled voices
that would give away my companions’ whereabouts. As I was heading into the
library, I heard the steady footsteps of someone hurrying up behind me.
Unwanted, Biggs’s lust for Sarah and images of her tussled hair and naked body
infiltrated my mind.
Eww
…Crap!

“Hey Zoe,” Biggs called out as he ran up to me. “Have you
seen Sarah?”

I smiled as convincingly as I could, trying to force the
images of them having sex from my mind.
Friggin
’
stallion.
“She’s in my room. Girl talk stuff,” I said nonchalantly, fleeing
into the library before he could get any more information out of me. “We’ll be
done soon.”

He followed me, and I wondered why he was suddenly
feeling sympathetic.
Strange.
When I faced him, he shook his head and
said, “I’m sorry, Zoe. Harper told me about your whole…prophecy thing. I mean,
I
knew
about it before, but I guess I just didn’t know all the details.
You doing okay?”

I was instantly confused, knowing
I
didn’t possess
any sort of prophetic ability, but I nodded anyway.

“That’s gotta be wired to think about,” he said.

Oblivious to what he was talking about, I fished for a
satisfying explanation. “Yeah…” I nodded again. “What are your thoughts about
the whole thing?” Biggs was always so chatty—I hoped I could get some answers
if I kept him talking long enough.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised by much anymore. But man, I
can’t imagine how it feels to know someone
predicted
your
death.”
He placed a supportive hand on my shoulder. “The fact that Jake was told you’d
die
because of him, and then he
saw
you…” He slowly shook his head. “I’m
just glad I’m not in Jake’s shoes. I don’t know how I’d handle knowing I was
predestined to cause someone’s death. It’s all pretty crazy, right?” He paused,
waiting for me to agree.

“Yeah, it’s…weird,” I said hollowly, trying not to let
his words overwhelm me. A few seconds passed as I grasped for some kind of
understanding. My confusion turned to shock, and finally betrayal took root in
the pit of my stomach as Biggs’s words sank deeper.
A prophecy that I would
die because of Jake? And no one said anything to me?
Every nerve in my body
bristled with unease as Jake’s confusing behavior toward me started to make
sense.

Biggs’s eyes widened, and I could feel his acute
discomfort. “But you made it through, yay…” His fist pump was weak, and he
forced a timid smile before his face dropped. “You didn’t know about any of
that, did you?” He ran his fingers through his short, blonde hair, clearly
distressed. “Shit.”

“Nope,” I said slowly, my voice low with disbelief and
anger.

“Okay…so…I’m gonna go now. Will you send Sarah down when
you ladies are done chatting, please?”

“Sure,” I said flatly, and Biggs hurried away. Turning on
my heel, I marched toward the dining room, hoping to find Harper.

The fact that Harper and Jake hadn’t told me such a huge
secret—
about me
—pissed me off. After everything I’d been through with
Jake, he hadn’t uttered a word, and Harper, who I’d thought was my friend, had
been just as secretive.
How the hell did I not sense this?

Harper and Sanchez were debating whether we should stay
or leave as I stomped through the swinging kitchen door and into the dining
room. I tried to remember that Sarah needed my help and that I had to focus on
her
situation, not mine, but when Harper smiled warmly at me, anger heated my
cheeks, and I glared at him.

Sanchez turned in her seat to face me. “Yes, Zoe?”

I ignored her. Refusing to look at either of them, I
stared at the gaudy, crystal chandelier hanging above the oversized, mahogany
table. “Harper, Sarah needs you upstairs…in my room.” When they said nothing, I
added, “It’s sort of important,”  hastily turned, and walked away.

Hoping I wouldn’t run into anyone else before reaching
the sanctuary of my room, I hurried toward the entryway. Unfortunately, as I
got to the foyer, Jake and Cooper strolled in through the front door. I ignored
the warmth in Jake’s eyes as I hurried up the left staircase and disappeared
into my room. I slammed the door behind me.

“You okay?” When I heard Sarah’s trembling voice, I was
instantly grateful it wasn’t me sitting on the bed, crying about pregnancy and
babies. She fiddled with the hem of the sheets, and her eyes were red-rimmed
and puffy.

Forcing a smile, I answered, “Yeah, fine. Harper’s on his
way. We’ll get this figured out, don’t worry.
Everything’ll
be okay, you’ll see.” I sat down on the bed beside her, wringing my hands with
unease.

A light knock on the door startled me, and Harper popped
his head in. “Can I come in?”

“Of course you can.” His nice-guy charm was suddenly irritating.
“I asked you to come up here, didn’t I?” His relaxed facial features hardened
at my curt tone.

“Whoa, who spit in your porridge this morning?” he asked
incredulously as he strolled into the room.

“We’ll talk later,” I said with false cheer and stood.
“You need to focus on Sarah right now.” I walked to the window, hoping to find
a distraction floating on the choppy waters of the lake below. I listened as
Sarah explained her situation and as Harper encouraged her to believe that
everything would be alright—no matter the outcome. Eventually, I tuned them out
entirely.

I thought of better, simpler times, when the most
difficult decisions I had to make were which shifts I wanted to take at Earl’s
or which art pieces I wanted to showcase at the gallery. I
wanted
to
worry about what to wear to work and not have to deal with freakish Abilities
or Crazies or prophetic secrets.

A despairing whine snapped me out of my daydreams, and I
turned to face the bed. Sarah had received a positive result from a urine test,
and her eyes were again filled with tears. She threw herself back onto the bed,
moaning and cursing about the unfairness of it all.

Not knowing what to say, Harper and I stood awkwardly
beside the bed. “Good thing I had what we needed,” he said under his breath.

“Are you sure?” Sarah asked, oblivious to his comment. “I
mean, should we run the test again?”

He sighed. “We’ve done it three times, Sarah. I’m 99
percent sure you’re pregnant. You need to tell Biggs.”

Before Sarah could argue, a voice from near the doorway
startled us. “Did I hear my name?” Biggs peeked around the door, his eyes
falling upon his distraught girlfriend, who immediately sprang to her feet.
“What’s wrong, Babe?” He saw her teary, swollen eyes, and hurrying over to her,
wrapped his arms around her. Sarah shook in his hold, divulging the news
between staggered breaths.

“But that’s great news!” he shouted and looked around the
room. “Did you hear that? We’re having a baby!”

“It’s still the very early stages,” Harper cautioned him
from the attached bathroom as he washed his hands.

But Biggs didn’t seem to hear Harper, or he didn’t care.
Instead, he lifted Sarah up and swung her around like she’d just accepted his
marriage proposal—only, her face was blotchy and distressed, while his was
filled with immense joy.

“You
want
to have a baby?” Sarah asked in between
his laughing and hooting.

“Of course I do…don’t you?” When Sarah didn’t say
anything, Biggs’s enthusiasm deflated. I could feel his joy drain from him as
he looked into her frightened eyes.

“I’m not sure how to be a mom,” she said truthfully,
watching his face for another heartbreaking reaction. “And, I can’t say we’re
living in a baby-safe environment. We don’t even know where we’re going from
one week to the next.” Her lip quivered. “We’re like…bums.”

I stifled a laugh before it could escape my throat.

Biggs’s eyes continued to watch Sarah closely—so did
mine—as she deliberated aloud. “What if something happens during the pregnancy
or birth or after? There’re no hospitals, no medicine…”

He gently pulled her toward him, and she shuffled into
his arms once more. Resting his chin on the top of her wild hair, he sighed.
“Things may never get better, Babe, but I know that I don’t want to stop living
after we’ve survived so much.” His eyes were suddenly alive again and his tone
elated. “I could teach the baby everything about survival…at least everything
that I know. We have Zoe and Harper and Jake and everyone to help us. We won’t
be alone…” He searched her eyes for some sort of acceptance. “Sarah?”