Authors: Monica Alexander
“Yup, I just saw my doctor. I’m due in August. If I decide to have it, that is. I’m stil trying to make up my mind.” I stared at her, as she took the bag back from me. “I guess I’l just come over and see Connor when he’s home. I’m bored with this subject. It’l be so much fun to revisit it later,” she said icily, as she turned on her heel and walked back toward the front entrance to the hospital.
I was furious as I rode the elevator back up to Connor’s floor. Not only was she a bitch, but she was a spiteful bitch.
I had to compose myself as I stepped off the elevator. I didn’t want Connor to know what had just transpired. My mind was stil reeling when I came around the corner to see Luke and Nicky sitting in the waiting room holding hands. My eyes got wide.
“Um, hi guys, what’s going on?”
They both looked up in surprise.
“Oh, um hey Abbs,” Luke said. He let go of Nicky’s hand. “Nothing’s going on. It’s nothing. We were just visiting Connor.” I think he was secretly hoping I hadn’t just seen them.
“It’s okay, Luke,” Nicky said, taking his hand again. “We can tel her.”
“Tel me what?”
“We’re kind of together,” she said, shrugging.
“Oh wow! Since when?”
“A few weeks,” Luke said, turning red, and I suddenly realized he was the guy Nicky had been so excited about.
She was such a little liar, but it wasn’t like I could be mad at her.
“Wel, congratulations, you guys. I’m so happy for you.”
I honestly couldn’t think of a better person for each of them to date and couldn’t believe I’d never thought of hooking them up before.
Nicky looked over at Luke. “Thanks. Were happy, too,” she said, kissing him on the cheek. He turned red again.
I laughed at him. “I’m going to see how Connor’s doing. You two have fun.”
Al thoughts of Alexis flew from my mind as I re-entered Connor’s room. He was sitting up, picking at a tray of turkey, stuffing, green beans and pudding. “This food sucks,” he said, pushing it away.
“Wel, you need to eat it,” I said, sounding more like his mother than his girlfriend. He just looked at me and back at his tray with disdain. “If you eat it, I’l tel you some realy good gossip.”
“What? Luke and Nicky? Yeah, I already know.”
“How? I just found out.”
“Luke told me about it last Saturday. I guess they’ve been sneaking around for a while but never told anyone.”
Well how about that.
“Wel, fine, then, if you eat your lunch, I’l give you a special treat when you get home.” I looked at him pointedly, as if trying to explain what I meant. “I would do it here, but there’s no lock on your door. It might be a tad embarrassing if someone walked in.”
He raised his eyebrows, and said, “Hand me a fork.”
I smiled triumphantly, as I sat down on the bed to watch him eat.
***
I couldn’t fil in al the missing pieces for Connor, but I could help jog his memory with the one piece of information that I did have. I decided I would let him get settled at home before we talked, but he had other plans when we got home. He gave me a look that said he hadn’t forgotten our deal. I smiled at him. I didn’t forget what I’d promised, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be in the mood for any of that once he remembered the news Alexis had given him. It was enough to make me want to be celibate for the next few years. I had no desire to be a teenage mother.
I had helped Connor’s Dad get him upstairs to his room. He tried to tel us that he could do it on his own, but we ignored him. Stupid, masculine pride. The doctor had sent him home with crutches, but he was only supposed to use them to get to and from the bathroom.
Other than that, he was under strict orders to be in bed, resting for the next week which meant no school when it started on Monday.
I had gone out the day before and bought him a slew of new DVDs, Xbox games and books, so he wouldn’t have a minute without anything to do. Once he was in bed, while his father went downstairs to get him lunch, I set about moving everything so it was easy for him to reach. His eyes folowed me around as I grabbed up his remotes, laptop, iPod and cel phone. I set them down on the bed and he put his hand on my arm, tugging it, so I would sit down.
“What is it? Do you need something? Whatever it is, I can get it.”
He laughed and shook his head. “Abby, I’m fine. Stop running around like you can fix this by relocating everything in my room.”
“I just want to make sure you have everything you need and you’re as comfortable as possible.” I started to get up again. I wanted to get him a glass of water.
He tightened his hand around my wrist. He wasn’t going to let me up. “Just sit stil for a minute, so I can kiss you. Please.” He looked at me with pleading eyes. “I feel like it’s been so long since we’ve had any alone time.”
“Yeah, you just can’t get any privacy in hospitals these days,” I said sarcasticaly.
“No, you can’t,” he said softly, as he puled me toward him. I put my hand on his cheek and pressed my lips to his. He tried to pul me down next to him, but I couldn’t let him get distracted. We needed to talk. I puled away.
“What is it?” he asked quietly, seeing my face. “You haven’t changed your mind, have you? About us, I mean?” He sounded sort of panicked.
I looked at his face. Concern was written al over it. I shook my head. Now wasn’t the right time. His dad would be back any minute.
“Abby?”
I couldn’t help it, a tear slipped out. I wiped it away quickly, hoping he hadn’t seen, but of course he had. His eyes were fixed on me.
“Talk to me, please,” he begged. “You’re kind of freaking me out.”
I shook my head. “No now. Not here.”
“What’s going on?”
There was a knock at the door and his dad entered with Connor’s lunch on a tray. He sat up as his dad placed it on his lap. “Do you need anything else, son?” he asked.
“No, Dad, I’m good. Abby’s here. She’l take care of me,” he said smiling at me, but I could see the skeptical look his eyes held. He wasn’t going to let me get away without teling him the truth.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m going to head to the office for a bit. Cal me if you need anything.”
“Sure, Dad. Thanks.”
“Thanks, Mr. Richardson,” I said, as he disappeared out the door.
Connor turned right to me as soon as the door clicked shut. “Okay, out with it.”
“Why don’t you eat first?”
“No. Why don’t you tel me what’s going on first.” He was being defiant.
I needed to stal him. I wasn’t ready to face this, and I figured he wasn’t either. Once he learned what I had to tel him, I knew he wouldn’t want to know. “Please eat,” I begged. “I promise I’l tel you once you’re done.”
He looked me right in the eye. “Abby, if you’re ending this, I think I’d rather know now. Please don’t drag it out.”
I was shocked. Why would I want to end it? What was he thinking? “No! No, Connor, I’m not ending anything.”
He looked suddenly relieved, and I heard him release his breath. “Realy?”
“Seriously. What on earth would make you think that?”
“The look on your face, for starters. I just figured al of this was more than you could handle or something. I was honestly freaking out.
You’re realy not breaking up with me?”
“No! I love you,” I said, kissing him hard on the mouth. “Now, shut up and eat.”
He smiled his crooked smile and took a bite of his soup. “So, what is going on?” he asked, between bites.
“I’l tel you in ten minutes,” I said, trying to sound light-hearted, so he wouldn’t freak out again. “Just eat.”
As he started to take his first few bites of food, I decided to get a soda. While I was downstairs, I heard a loud crash from upstairs and immediately feared Connor had somehow falen out of bed. I raced back upstairs as fast as I could, flinging open his bedroom door.
Connor sat where I had left him, but al the color had drained from his face. A glance at the wal told me what the crash had been. His lunch tray lay on the ground, the bowl and plate shattered around it as soup dripped down the wal. I looked at the mess and back to Connor.
“Baby, what happened?” I asked tentatively.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. His eyes just stared straight ahead, fixated on a spot on the wal. “Oreos.”
“What?”
Connor’s gaze went to me. “Oreos,” he said again. “Alexis was craving Oreos. She talked incessantly about goddam Oreos and how she had to have some.”
I noticed he was shaking, and I suddenly knew what had set him off. He’d remembered.
“It’l be okay,” I said, simply because I had nothing else in my arsenal for that type of situation.
“Okay?” Connor barked, the fight coming back to him. “Okay? Are you joking! It’s not going to be okay. Alexis is pregnant.”
I closed my eyes upon hearing those words come out of his mouth. They were devastating in so many ways.
“You knew?” he asked, and I figured my reaction gave me away. I could hear the hurt in his voice. He was wondering why I hadn’t told him.
I nodded, wishing I would’ve had the courage to tel him sooner.
His shoulders slumped, and he looked down at his lap and closed his eyes. “Shit. How did you find out?”
“She told me.”
“When?” he said, looking completely shel-shocked.
“Yesterday. I ran into her at the hospital. I saw her pre-natal vitamins.”
“Shit,” he said, turning to look out the window for a moment and then back at me. His face was dead white again. “Shit, Abbs. Shit.
I’m so sorry.”
I stopped mid-stride as I was crossing the room, raising my eyebrows at him. “Wait, what?”
He didn’t seem to be mad at me at al.
He looked up at me again, pleading with me with his eyes. “I wanted to tel you. I wanted you to find out from me. Dammit. I fucking hate her!”
My sentiments, exactly.
I sat next to him, and he puled me into his arms, hugging me tightly as if he was desperate for some sort of comfort. “Connor, you don’t have to apologize. You didn’t know – you couldn’t remember. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Abby, my ex-girlfriend, who I pretty much despise, is pregnant with my child. I’m eighteen, in high school and have a job that I work one day a week that pays eight dolars and hour. Nothing is going to be fine.”
Al I could do was squeeze him tighter to somehow convey that I wasn’t going anywhere. We would get through it together. I would help him. He wouldn’t be alone.
“We were on our way to get a pregnancy test. She came here to tel me she was late and that it was mine. She said she’d only slept with Cameron that one time, and I was the only other person she’d been with. I demanded she take a test, and that’s where we were going when we got hit. We were fighting, and she wasn’t paying attention when the light turned green. I saw the car coming toward us out of the corner of my eye, but it was too late.”
The amount of defeat in his voice was overwhelming, and I didn’t know what I could ever do to make things right for him. This was way out of my control.
I bit my lip. I wasn’t sure what to say, but he wasn’t saying anything, so out of nervousness, I just started talking. “Connor, I just want you to know that whatever happens, I’m here for you. I wil support whatever decision you make, okay? It’s going to be okay. We’l get through this. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m here for you, no matter what. She’s not that far along, so there’s some time to figure everything out.”
“Connor!” came Jordan’s voice as he tore up the stairs. His mother had apparently just dropped him off.
“Don’t say anything to him,” Connor warned, knowing Jordan would burst into his room any second.
I gave him look that said he should know me better than that. I wasn’t about say a word to anyone, especialy Jordan.
“Hey!” Jordan said a moment later as the door to Connor’s room was flung open. He burst in, breathless and giddy to see his brother at home.
“Hey J,” Connor said, and I could tel he was trying his hardest not to let Jordan see how upset he’d been a minute earlier. I’d seen him do it before. He was good at hiding his emotions for Jordan’s sake.
“Guess what came?” Jordan asked, holding up a stack of mail.
The envelopes looked vaguely familiar, and I realized too late that they were colege acceptance letters. Jordan promptly deposited them on Connor’s lap before plopping down next to me.
“Open them,” he urged. “They came a few days ago, but you were in a coma, so I saved them for you.”
I shook my head. God, he was blunt, but adorably so.
A look at the stack of large envelopes told me Connor had gotten into the University of Texas, LSU and the University of Florida.
“Thanks J,” Connor said, but I could tel his heart wasn’t in it. He knew going away to school would be a long-shot if Alexis kept the baby. He’d want to be a part of his child’s life.
“Aren’t you going to open them?” Jordan prompted.
“Later,” Connor said, closing his eyes. “I think I’m going to take a nap.”
Jordan looked crestfalen, but he didn’t push the issue. “Alright, I’l be downstairs. Abby, want to play video games with me?”
I looked at Connor who stil had his eyes closed and knew it was my cue to leave. “I guess I’l just cal you later,” I mumbled as I got up from his bed.
Before I knew what was happening, Connor’s hand seized my forearm and puled me back against him. “Don’t go,” he said, puling me down so I was curled up against him. “I don’t want to be alone right now. Please.”
His voice was so urgent, so desperate. I nodded against his chest, as I wrapped my arms around him hoping I could be of some comfort to him.
Chapter
34
For the next week Connor rested as the doctor had instructed. I had to go back to school but spent al the time I could with him. He was mostly depressed, but he tried to come out of it when I was around. I wanted to tel him not to worry about it. He could be upset around me. I got it.