Dustin laughs loudly. “Say no more. How bad of a diva is he this year?”
A cup of coffee suddenly appears in front of me. I look up and see Nathan looking down at me. He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a button up Abercrombie long-sleeved shirt. His black hair is spiked up a little in the front and I can tell by all the looks he’s getting from the girls in the café that I’m not the only one who thinks he looks good today.
“You,” he says sliding a brown paper bag across the table, “need to start eating lunch. At least something.”
I open the bag and peer inside. A blueberry muffin. I go to smile at him when I realize his eyes are no longer on me, but rather on Dustin. And he doesn’t look happy.
“Who the hell are you?” he says, looking like he wants to smash Dustin’s face into the table.
“This,” I say trying to get Nathan’s attention back on me, “is Dustin.”
“Dustin,” Nathan chuckles like this is the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Then his face turns serious. “Get lost.”
Dustin pauses, trying to figure out if Nathan’s kidding or not.
“Dustin is Angelina’s friend. You remember Nathan, the one I was telling you about,” I say sternly.
Realization passes over Nathan’s face and he starts to relax.
“Oh, that Dustin,” he says nodding. “Angelina’s soon to be boyfriend, right?”
“Right,” I say happily.
I smile at Dustin and shoot Nathan a dirty look.
“What?” Nathan shrugs. “Just looking out bro. You know how it is.”
“Oh, totally,” Dustin says nodding. He still looks scared for his life. I scowl at Nathan.
“I’ll see you later, Shell,” he says winking at me.
Then he turns around and walks out of the café with everyone’s eyes still glued to him.
“What was that about?” Angelina asks sitting back down. “Nathan looked like he was going to kill you.”
Dustin shakes his head, clearly still a little confused. “He was just looking out for his sister.” Then after a minute he adds, “I think.”
“Yup,” I say trying to defuse the situation. “Exactly. He’s just looking out for me. My dad told him to watch the guys I hang around with. Ha-ha,” I say trying to turn it into a funny joke.
Dustin nods like he completely understands, but Angelina shoots me a weird look.
She knows my dad could care less about who I talk too, especially as of late. Shit.
“Well,” Dustin says, “if you’re supposed to be returning the favor you’re doing a really bad job considering who he’s hanging out with this weekend.”
“What do you mean?” I ask trying to sound casual, but knowing it comes out sounding panicked, even to me.
“I heard Ava Johnson talking about how she finally scored a date with Nathan this Friday. And we all know she isn’t exactly shy on dates.”
I feel my heart start to beat more rapidly in my chest. I know I said I would be okay with Nathan hooking up with other girls while we were doing whatever it is we’re doing, but that was before it was actually happening. Now that it is I’m not so sure I like it that much. And besides, isn’t he supposed to let me know or something? I guess not. I just never thought I’d find out this way.
It takes me a second to realize that Angelina and Dustin are both staring at me with concerned expressions on their faces. Shit, I realize I stopped listening to them right after the Nathan and Ava comment. I recover quickly and paste a fake smile on my face.
“Well, whatever. I’m sure it’s not a big deal. I mean, she’s a slut and he gets bored with girls faster than anyone I know.” Dustin looks at me strangely for a second and then changes the subject.
On my way out of the café I take the bag with the muffin in it and toss it into the trashcan. Turns out I’m not hungry after all.
***
Best friends can always tell when something’s wrong, even when everyone else in the room has no idea. Best friends know something is bothering you with once glance, which is why I shouldn’t be that surprised when Angelina shoves me into the girl’s bathroom on my way to seventh period and locks the door behind her.
“Okay,” she says after looking under all the stalls to make sure no one else is in here, “why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you.”
I play dumb. “What do you mean?”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Don’t you play dumb with me Victoria Michelle. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Yikes, she’s middle naming me. She’s more serious than I thought. I don’t say anything. Instead, I just shake my head and sigh.
“I saw that look on your face when Dustin said Nathan and Ava were hanging out this weekend. You were upset, Tori.” She pauses. “You like him, don’t you?”
I shake my head sadly and lean it against the wall. “Oh god Ang, it’s way worse than that.”
“How much worse?” she asks suspiciously.
I shake my head and slide my body onto the floor. “I’ve been kissing him,” I admit sadly.
Angelina’s mouth drops open. “You’ve been what?”
“Ugh,” I say, “I know. I know how stupid that sounds.”
Angelina looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know how to! I didn’t want anyone to know. I know this can’t end well, but I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.”
“So you guys are like together then?” Angelina says slowly, walking closer to me.
I shake my head. “He’s teaching me things.”
Angelina laughs. “Like how to play basketball or how to bake a cake? What type of things are we talking about here?”
“Things that will help me be more confident when it comes to going after other guys.”
Angelina slaps her hand over her forehead and shakes her head. “Are you telling me you’re making out with him and stuff temporarily to get experience and then you guys are going to stop?”
Well, I mean sure, when you put it like that it sounds pretty bad. But it’s really not that big of a deal. I’m sure it’s only because I haven’t had that much experience when it comes to guys. So naturally I’d think I have an intense feeling for the boy I’ve recently been kissing. I’m sure as soon as I start talking to Matt, it’ll pass. Probably even before that. In fact, I think it just passed. Yes, there it went. Gone.
“Uh-huh,” I say placing my head in my hands. She kneels down on the floor next to me and I rest my head on her shoulder.
“And you really thought you’d be able to handle that?” she asks me.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I just need to make it through the next like week and a half until this party. Then I’ll have the courage to ask Matt out and everything will be fine.”
“But you like Nathan, not Matt,” Angelina says softly.
“I didn’t think I did,” I say confused. “But if I didn’t like him why was I so upset when I found out he was hanging out with Ava on Friday?”
“Because you’re not that type of girl. You can’t just kiss a guy and have it mean nothing. You actually have class.”
“I’m not acting like it’s nothing,” I sigh.
“Any idea if he likes you back?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No, I doubt it. I don’t look like Ava or those girls. I just really wish he wasn’t going to be hooking up with someone else until I’ve at least figured my shit out with Matt or whoever.”
Angelina doesn’t say anything for a minute and it’s now so quiet that I can hear water dripping slowly from one of the faucets. Drip drop, drip drop.
For a second I mistake Angelina’s silence for disgust and I think she’s mad at me.
But it’s not like Nathan’s my real brother or anything so it’s really not gross. I’m about to ask her if she’s totally grossed out by me now when she speaks again.
“Well, maybe you can make that happen,” she says.
“Make what happen?” I ask her running my hands through my hair.
“Him not hooking up with anyone else.”
“How can I pull that off?”
“Well, Nathan’s never looked at you like he looks at any of those other girls because you’ve never given him the chance to before. Those girls have confidence.”
I nod. “One of the first things that Nathan told me was even if I have no idea what I’m doing I should always act like I do. If you act like you’re in control of the situation guys will believe you are.”
Angelina grins. “Exactly. Do you know Nathan’s favorite color?”
I shrug. “I think it’s red, why?”
Angelina doesn’t answer me. She just jumps up, pulls me off the ground after her, and starts toward the door.
“Where are we going?” I ask her, letting her pull me along behind her anyway.
“We’re going to get you confidence.”
Chapter Six
“This is by far the worst idea you’ve ever had,” I tell Angelina as I look around nervously.
It’s about thirty minutes after my confession in the bathroom and we’re now standing in the middle of Victoria’s Secret. This is apparently one of the ways in which Angelina thinks I will gain some confidence. I look around at the garments that surround me (or the lack there of) and feel my stomach start to fill with butterflies.
“This,” Angelina says reaching over and pulling a light blue nightgown off of a nearby rack and holding it up to me, “is exactly what you need.”
I shake my head and push the hanger away from my body and back toward her.
“No way in hell can I pull something like that off.”
Angelina sighs and sets the nightgown back on the rack. “Well, not with an attitude like that you can’t”
I sigh. “I’m serious Angelina.”
“I know,” Angelina says looking at me seriously. “I am too. You have nothing to be insecure about, trust me. And this is a really good way to get Nathan’s attention.
Plus, it shows you taking control for once.”
I turn her words over in my head a few times to make sure they make sense, and when I realize they do I shrug my shoulders and give in.
“Fine,” I tell her. “I’ll try something on but if I look stupid I’m not buying it.”
She grins. “Deal.”
Before I know what she’s doing Angelina’s off grabbing tons of different things for me to try on in all different colors. Then she pushes me into the dressing room with a handful of items, the majority of which are red, since apparently we need to stick to Nathan’s favorite color.
I try on about twenty different things without any luck. I feel like nothing looks right on my body. I’m too bony here, too thick there. If I’m going to go through with this I at least need to feel good about how I look.
Finally, after what feels like forever, I find something that works. It’s a dark red silk nightgown that falls just below my belly button and comes with a matching bra and panty set. The bra shapes my breasts perfectly and makes my body look truly amazing.
When I step out of the dressing room Angelina whistles at me.
“Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner,” she declares happily.
“What if this doesn’t work?” I ask her quietly.
“Are you kidding me?” Angelina says turning my body around so I can see it in the full-length mirror again. “It’s going to work. You look fucking hot!”
I smile and pull her in for a hug, but she pushes me back. “No way am I hugging you in that little amount of clothes.”
“Oh, shut up,” I say shutting the dressing room door in her face.
Later that night we’re on our way back to Angelina’s house with my purchase happily tucked between our seats. I can’t believe I actually went through with buying it.
I mean this is a pretty big step. But wearing it will be an even bigger one, so we’ll have to see how that one goes.
Angelina’s cell phone rings and breaks me out of my thoughts. She hits the Bluetooth button in her SUV to answer. (Angelina’s parents thought it would be a good idea to buy her a brand new car the day she turned sixteen. I, on the other hand, had to work to save up for my car, learning a good work ethic and all that.)
“Hello?” Angelina says practically screaming. I always tell her the point of having a Bluetooth is to show that you can talk like a normal person and still drive. But somehow she always ends up screaming anyway.
“Hey there,” Angelina’s dad’s voice comes booming through the speakers of the car. I instantly feel myself smiling.
“Hey dad,” Angelina says flipping her blinker on and switching lanes, “do you care if Tori sleeps over tonight?”
Her dad laughs. “Of course not. Just a quick favor though.”
Angelina’s dad is the best, and absolutely nothing like my dad. He owns his own construction business, but I have no idea how he can be in charge of anyone since he’s like the nicest guy ever. Aren’t bosses supposed to be mean? At least some of the time anyway?
Angelina’s dad is a lot of things but mean is definitely not one of them. He’s always happy, always laughing. I know it’s horrible to say but I would sometimes go over to Angelina’s house to play when I was little and find myself pretending that her dad was mine. It wasn’t because I hated my dad or anything. I just craved attention from him from a very young age and never got it. Even back then he didn’t treat me like much of a daughter. I secretly think he was hoping for a son.
“What kind of favor?” Angelina asks her dad.
“Stop and pick up dinner. We just ordered from Tony’s.” Angelina sighs and rolls her eyes at me. She does this because she hates going to Tony’s more than anything in the world. Not because the food is bad. It’s actually really good. It’s just that Angelina’s ex-boyfriend Jeff works there.
It’s not so much that Angelina hates Jeff exactly. He’s just kind of an idiot. They dated for like four months when we were all freshmen. And from the start he had always given me a weird vibe. But I figured he made my best friend happy and that’s all that mattered. Then one night we were all at Angelina’s watching a movie. Angelina left the room for a minute to go get more popcorn and Jeff totally grabbed my butt. Naturally, I had to tell Angelina about it right away. I mean she was my best friend after all.
Needless to say that was the end of their very short-lived relationship. The thing is Jeff doesn’t seem to get why Angelina broke up with him, even though we both explained it to him several times after the fact.
Anyway, to make a long story short, Jeff is still convinced to this day that Angelina broke up with him because both she and I are in love with him and don’t want to end our friendship over it. This alone should tell you how much of an idiot he really is.