Air Apparent (26 page)

“Let’s go,” the Factor said, holding the pineapple threateningly.

They started down the hall to the stairs.

They are lurking.

“Give me a pineapple,” Hugo said.

The Factor tossed it to him, and conjured another. Hugo caught it, but his knees felt weak. Cherries were impressive, but pineapples were dangerous.

They made it to the stairs. “Go on up,” Hugo said. “I’ll guard the rear.”

There was not room here for the serpent to fly, but he had no trouble slithering rapidly up. The Factor followed. Hugo wielded his pineapple, facing back.

The nametaggers appeared, running toward him. “He doesn’t have the nerve,” one cried.

Hugo didn’t have a choice. He heaved the pineapple at the crowd, and turned to run up the stairs. He had hardly gone five steps before the pineapple detonated. The blast blew him up several more steps—but it also blew out the steps behind him. Losing support, the ones above him began to dangle. He struggled to mount them, but the footing was bad, and he found himself slipping back down to the floor.

Then a green and orange cable slapped against his chest. It was the serpent’s tail. He grabbed it. It lifted, hauling him along with it. When he reached the next flight of steps he was able to put his feet down and resume running up the stairs.

Then he smelled smoke. The pineapple had set fire to the cardboard foundation! That was more damage than he had intended to do, but he couldn’t stop it now. If only the taggers had let them go in peace.

He followed the others to the ground floor and out of the castle. Behind them the flames were spreading. They got well clear, then turned to look back, panting.

The castle was going up in flames, literally. Sections of burning cardboard were flying into the sky, and smoke was pouring out. The castle was doomed.

“I hope the nametaggers manage to get out safely,” Hugo gasped.

“You would,” the Factor said.

A group of people was forming outside the castle. It did seem that the taggers were making it. But they would have a long hard haul rebuilding their castle. It probably served them right, but Hugo was sorry anyway.

“We’d better get on our way before we are discovered,” the Factor said.

Good advice. They walked on away from the conflagration.

Too late. “There they are!” a tagger cried.

“Run!” Hugo cried.

“I’ve still got my pineapple,” the Factor said.

“I’ll take it,” Hugo said. “The two of you get away, as before.”

They did so. Hugo stood facing the taggers, holding the pineapple aloft. That brought them to a rapid halt; he heard faint screech-marks.

Then the tagger named James stepped forward. “You world travelers have escaped our justified retribution,” he called. “But not entirely. I have a curse I saved for an appropriate occasion. Now it is yours: you can move only upworld.” He gestured, and there was a kind of shimmer that sailed at Hugo, touched him, and passed on to catch the others. That was all.

James turned away, so Hugo did also. He walked to catch up with the others. “They have given up the chase.”

But they cursed us, the green snake thought.

“I don’t understand it. I felt no effect.”

I do. It prevents any of us from going downworld. You two can’t return to Xanth. I can’t return to my alien home. All we can do is remain here on Cone, or travel farther upworld.

“But I want to rejoin Wira!”

Only if she comes to you. You can’t go to her. That’s a powerful curse.

Hugo wasn’t sure how to react. He had never imagined such a curse. “You mean we can’t even transfer back to Xanth, assuming our bodies are there and free?”

That is what I mean. Would it help if I told you how noble I find you? Twice you have risked your life to enable us to escape danger.

“I just do what it is right to do.”

Without any thought of personal gain. That’s noble. I think it’s a function of your empathy. We did not offer to do the same for you.

Hugo didn’t argue the case. “I still want to consult with Princess Ida.”

I will scout the route, Era thought. He spread his lovely white wings and took off. He was a beautiful creature in flight. Thank you. Hugo realized that the serpent had read his thought.

“I could get to like this talent,” the Factor remarked. “Those fruits are something.”

“No way,” Hugo said firmly. “I want my body back. And my wife.”

Era returned. The best route is circuitous but safe. However, there’s no way to avoid the forest near the rim.

“What’s the matter with the forest?” the Factor asked. “We have forests in Xanth.”

Not like this.

Hugo decided not to inquire. They would find out soon enough.

Night came while they were still on the safe route. Hugo wasn’t sure exactly what made day and night here, as there seemed to be no sun, just the huge nebulous head of the lower-world Ida around which Cone revolved. The cone spun around its long axis, and that dim head was dropping out of sight.

The Factor, following Hugo’s instructions, conjured a greatfruit. The thing was the size of a small tent, which was the point. They hollowed it out and camped under its protective husk. The Factor also conjured an array of fruits for them to eat.

“Why did the nametaggers imprison you?” Hugo asked the serpent as they settled down to sleep.

Jealousy.

The two men looked at the serpent, not comprehending.

Every person on this planet is a crossbreed, Era explained. The two of you will stand out, because you are obviously not crossbreeds, but probably you’ll be left alone. But I am more of a crossbreed than most, and they resent that. They are mere two-type crossbreeds: human beings and name tags. They feel inferior.

“You must have bird ancestry, and snake ancestry,” Hugo said. “But that seems to me like a garden-variety crossbreed, if you’ll pardon the expression.”

I can assume the form of any of my ancestors, for a while. The winged dragon disappeared, replaced by a straight snake. Then by a straight hawk. Then a young cat, really a kitten. And a mature panther. A large scorpion. A spider. A hummingbird. A stallion. A gargoyle, and a winged humanoid with batlike wings. Then the man split into three copies of himself, all identical. “But this takes a lot of energy,” the three men said together. He reverted to what was apparently his natural form, the winged snake.

“That is impressive,” Hugo said, amazed. “I didn’t know that anyone in Xanth could have so many forms.”

As I said, I’m essentially a demon. I’m from another universe. All I want is to live a long, full, fruitful life in peace. But the moment folk discover my nature, there’s trouble.

“I appreciate your problem,” Hugo said. “Maybe Princess Ida will know of a world where you can be yourself in peace.”

That would be nice.

They slept. Hugo was a bit surprised that sleep was much as usual, despite his being made of soul stuff. He didn’t think to try to dream of Wira, and didn’t know whether she was asleep now, so there was no dream contact. That was too bad.

In the morning they ate more fruits, then resumed their trek toward the great rim of Cone. And soon enough encountered the Forest. And stood, daunted. These trees were something else.

The monstrous tree trunks were closely spaced, each larger and gnarlier than the others. Their massive branches intersected and formed giant knots of wood. About halfway up toward the distant sky the main trunks actually expanded and formed wooden ledges. On these high ledges were houses where the forest denizens evidently lived. However, there seemed to be enough space between the trees at ground level to allow them to pass.

No such fortune, Era thought. Farther in they grow so close it’s a veritable wooden wall. However, I located a tunnel.

“That will do,” Hugo said.

The snake flew to the side. Soon they came to the tunnel, formed by trunks and branches that had not quite been able to make a perfect link. It passes all the way through.

“Good enough.” Era was certainly doing his part.

A crossbreed appeared. It seemed to have kraken tentacles and horse hooves, with a vaguely human head. “Pay the thumb tax,” it said. “You have four thumbs between you; the snake doesn’t count.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Hugo said. “We’re just passing through.”

“Ignorance is no excuse. Pay, or we’ll not let you pass.” The creature indicated the trees, where several enormously ugly creatures perched.

I think I found someone, Era thought. I sent her a signal.

A girl approached. Her body was human, but her skin was green, and her hair resembled tufts of grass. She smelled fragrant. “Hello. I’m Citronella, a crossbreed between grass and human. Can I help you?”

“Go away, weedhead,” the kraken creature said. “I’m collecting the thumb tax.”

“I don’t believe in that tax,” Citronella said.

“Nobody asked you.”

The kraken’s attitude suggested that Citronella was worth cultivating. “Hello. I am Hugo Human, from Xanth, and this is the Random Factor, also from Xanth. The winged snake is Era, from another realm. He contacted you telepathically, hoping you could help us. We just want to pass safely through this forest.”

She nodded. “I can help you. But I have a price.”

This was not necessarily good. “What price?”

“One kiss.”

Not good at all. “We’re both committed.”

“Not you. Him.” She looked at Era.

The snake had been hovering nearby. He almost dropped out of the air. Me?

“Yes, you’re so cute,” Citronella said. “You can rustle in my grass anytime.”

“Disgusting,” the kraken said.

“Deal,” Hugo said.

Era flew up, hovered before Citronella, and gave her a solid green kiss. Little tufts of grass circled their heads before dissipating.

“That was great,” the girl said. “Now I’ll exercise my talent.”

“What is your talent?” Hugo asked.

“I get rid of pests of any type.” She focused on the kraken. “Begone, vermin!”

“Traitor!” But the kraken walked away.

“Thank you,” Hugo said.

“Oh, I wanted to mess up the kraken anyway. I’d have done it for nothing.” She walked away.

Era slithered into the tunnel, leading the way again. The men followed. It became awesomely dark, but they followed the sounds of the slithering and had no trouble.

Eventually they emerged on the other side. And stared.

They were at the brink of the vast sea that filled the great cone of Cone. It was as wide across as a world. And around its edge were countless crossbreed couples interacting intensely.

“Stork summoning,” Hugo breathed. “Right out in the open. Everywhere.”

That’s the way of it on Planet Cone, Era explained. The land creatures are able to breed only with the sea creatures, so they meet at the fringe and do it. They don’t fool around; neither can survive long out of their element.

“But there are children here too!”

Of course. They can’t be deserted, lest some drown or dehydrate. There’s no Adult Conspiracy here.

So it seemed.

“Actually it’s interesting,” the Factor said, watching the nearby couples closely. “They have some remarkable techniques.”

Hugo had noted that. In part it was because different crossbreeds needed to adapt to each other in different ways. But they also seemed to have a certain experimental enthusiasm that led to unusual positions.

But they had business to accomplish. “We had better trek on down to Princess Ida,” Hugo said.

There should be no further significant barriers to your progress, Era thought. I think I will remain on land if you can spare me.

“But you have reason to talk with Ida too,” Hugo reminded him. “To find a world where you can live normally.”

On reconsideration, I may be able to make it on this one. I’d like to discover whether Citronella really likes me as I am. I could assume another form for her, so she wouldn’t have to trek to the sea to, well, breed.

“Oho!” the Factor said. “So you have a selfish motive.”

Era blushed along his length. It seems I do.

Hugo laughed. “Then by all means go to her. You have more than repaid us for our service to you.”

I am not sure of that. I brought the curse on you.

“We’ll manage,” Hugo said with more confidence than he felt. “Farewell, Era.”

The snake flew gratefully away.

“You say we can breathe the water?” the Factor asked.

“That is my understanding. That visitors can, not being entirely bound by the local planetary rules.” He put his face in the water and tried to breathe, half expecting to choke.

Instead it worked; the water tasted like thick air. So he plunged on in. In a moment and a half the Factor joined him.

They found themselves in a new realm. They seemed to be at the top of a steep mountain slope that was much like the dry side. There were massive seaweeds that resembled trees, and people working angled fields. There were even some small ponds. Hugo decided not to ponder that too intensely, lest he become confused. “Let’s keep moving,” he said, and was gratified to find that he could speak normally.

“The denizens have gills,” the Factor said. “We don’t.”

“We must be enabled by the magic of our alien status.”

They found a path and followed it down. Unlike the outside of the planet, there were no special threats or challenges here; the people seemed to be peaceful and satisfied to let the visitors pass on through. Still, it took time to walk the length of the planet, even downhill, and they had to camp for the night. How there could be day and night under the deep sea Hugo wasn’t sure, and preferred not to inquire.

“Empathy,” the Factor said as they chewed on fruit. “It is a strange concept. I think I’m beginning to feel it.”

“That’s good,” Hugo said. “Though it may simply be leakage from my body.”

“I think Debra would like me better with it.”

“She surely would.”

“I wonder where she is now?”

“With Wira, on their way here, I hope.”

“Maybe Princess Ida knows.”

“Maybe she does.” This seemed to be about as close as they could get to personal dialogue; they were in each other’s bodies, but even though the Factor was learning about empathy they still weren’t really friends.