Alex Anderson The Last Son of Zeus (7 page)

BOOK TEN

PORNOGRAPHIC INTERVENTION

Obviously, Alex had never seen a Minotaur. Growing up in Athens, he'd seen plenty of bulls, and that's exactly what the Minotaur looked like--one huge-ass bull that ran and acted like a dude.

The thing's hot, snotty breath pelted Alex's face right before it crashed into him. The Minotaur's charge carried a screaming Alex through the brick wall on the bathroom's opposite side.

And they kept going.

Alex barely recognized the interior of Gill's Hardware through the darkness and mortar dust. A combination of forward momentum and crashing through a wrench shelf kept Alex pinned to the
minotaur's
forehead. Wrenches hit the floor on the store's opposite side just before the two went through the next wall.

And they kept going.

A blue minivan parked in the alley brought the bull to an abrupt halt. The van rolled onto the driver's side, with Minotaur and his horns trapped on the passenger's side. The momentum of the roll and force of the creature's charge deposited Alex neatly inside the van.

The bull furiously jerked his head back, trying to free himself of the metal. A long trail of mucus left the bull's snout and fell on Alex's hand.

His perfectly good hand.

It was fine. His whole body was fine. Alex didn't get it. What did he expect after going through a bunch of brick walls, metal shelving, and the side of a van? Death? Maybe. Lacerations and broken bones? Absolutely. But not this--he didn't expect to be perfectly and one hundred percent fine.

The van jumped. The bull almost had itself pulled free. Alex was tired. He was tired of this new world and the crazy shit in it. His hands turned to fists. He kicked open the rear door of the van. It tore free from its hinges and cart wheeled down the alley.

The Minotaur finally freed his horns and jumped down. Its face formed a shape Alex could only assume was a grin. "I've never fought a son of Zeus."

"Well, you're about to."

The Minotaur laughed and charged. Without the slightest hesitation, Alex ran towards it.

And jumped.

The bull's eyes raised in time to see Alex plant his foot on its forehead. Alex jumped clear and landed behind it. The bull crashed into an abandoned building on the opposite side of the alley.

Alex heard crashes and bangs from inside the building. He patted dust off his shirt and stepped into the street.

A crowd of people gawked and pointed at the noisy building. Alex could only make out
Del's
face from among the crowd

Alex heard the sound of breaking glass and more smoke rushed from the other side of the abandoned building. The Minotaur stepped out of the cloud, looked at Alex and roared.

Alex motioned the Minotaur to him.

He roared even louder and charged again.

The van door from earlier lay next to Alex. He picked it up and made two full circles before throwing it at the bull.

The bull slapped the door into Moore's Jewelry. It didn't even slow down a little. With nothing else to throw and nowhere to run, Alex did the only thing he could, he stood his ground and literally grabbed the bull by the horns.

The thing's
breath
sprayed Alex's face right before the base of its horns slapped his open palms. Alex screamed. The bull screamed. Somehow, Alex's hands managed to stay attached to both the bull's horns and his own wrists. They skidded twenty feet, tearing up chunks of pavement the entire way.

And then they stopped.

The look in the bull's eyes mirrored Alex's own surprise. The bull kept pushing and hoofing--but Alex held his ground. He held the bull back by his horns and, honestly, Alex felt like he could hold the thing back all night.

"Release me, son of Zeus! Release me this instant or I shall--"

Alex made a half turn and threw the Minotaur into a Nissan Altima, thirty feet away.

The Altima split in two from the impact and exploded. People who had been curious or stupid enough to remain near the fight scattered.

Alex never flinched. He just waited to see what the damn thing was going to do.

Several pieces of metal flew away and the burning shape of a Minotaur stepped out of the wreckage. It pulled the remains of an airbag off its horn and pointed a finger at Alex. "Do you really think..." several pieces of burning flesh fell away from its jaw and exposed teeth underneath, "...such a small thing will stop me?"

"But dude," Alex looked at the burning car then him, "you're on fire."

The Minotaur hoofed the ground and lowered its head. Alex dug his feet into what was left of the pavement.

Then porn star
Aphie
Dite
appeared.

Literally, just appeared in a puff of pink smoke. Alex didn't know what to do other than stare.

"Subtle much?" she said to the Minotaur. It started to say something, but she grabbed it by a charred arm. "Oh no, you had your chance. Back you go." She waved her hand and the two disappeared.

BOOK ELEVEN

THE ALLEGORY OF THE ALLEY

"Perhaps we should leave, yes? Before the local mob decides to blame everything on the nearest teenager?"

Alex turned away from the carnage that had once been downtown Athens. Zeus stood behind him. The god put his hand on Alex's shoulder and gestured to the nearest alley.

Alex didn't say anything. He didn't think anything. He just stood and moved into the alley. Zeus followed and they both stopped under a bright light outside the rear exit of a Mexican restaurant named Taco Loco.

The light hurt his eyes, so he turned and faced the mouth of the alleyway. "I can't go back." Alex looked at Zeus. "I can't go back to...to the way things were, can I? It's all gone. My whole life, it's just--
just
gone."

Zeus sighed and sat on an empty tortilla crate. "Such is the curse of all knowledge."

"I don't--what do you mean?"

"Every time you humans learn something about yourselves, you can't forget it. It's not the way you're designed. Your kind can, however, choose to ignore it as you often do with disastrous consequences. You ignored what you were and look what happened."

"I didn't ignore it, alright? This--this just doesn't make any sense! In one day--just one--I went from being
a nobody
to the son of a freaking thunder god. Can you understand how maybe this would take a little bit of time for me to adjust?"

"
Last
son."

"What?"

"You're not just 'the son.' You're the last son of Zeus. And that makes you special, not just to me but to the other gods as well."

"That's why..." Alex pointed to the street. Somehow the fire had spread to one of the buildings. Alex couldn't tell which one.

Zeus nodded. "That's why. Some of them want you. Some of them need you. They all hate you."

"What? Why? What did I do?"

"Quite simply, you were born. Born during a time when all gods are forbidden to have children."

"Wait a minute. You're the big guy. You're like the daddy god. The big, bad
uber
. So who could've forbidden them?"

Zeus straightened his pant leg.

"You? You told them not to?"

"You should've seen us, Alex. We were pitiful excuses for deities. We were supposed to help humanity, in a way to atone for The Fall. Instead, most of us used them like toys. We only helped them when they provided some form of entertainment or, at the very least, distraction. So many mortals came to our temples, praying to us when they lost their way." Zeus seemed to look past the brick wall of the alley. "How ironic that we also lost ours."

Zeus stood. "I grew sick of it. I told the gods no more. No longer could they use their powers
or
have any children here on Earth."

"But..."

"Oh there are those who still try. Most of the time it's small enough that I can ignore. Occasionally, one will go too far and I have to punish them. As I soon will tonight."

Alex sat on a heap of garbage and summoned up every ounce of courage he had left. Things were happening so fast it was hard to pay attention to everything Zeus said. "So, what about my Mom? What made you break the promise or whatever?"

"Quite frankly? Your mother had the sweetest ass I'd ever seen."

Alex stood. Garbage scattered around him. "That's it? You break a-a godly vow, a vow you create because you thought my mother had a-a..."

"Sweet ass."

Alex turned back to the road.

"Oh, I see, you're insulted. You somehow expected that out of all the women I've fornicated with in over two millennia, I somehow managed to see something special in her I hadn't seen in any other mortal? Well, I did Alex. But it wasn't her soul, it wasn't her personality, and it certainly wasn't love. It was her ass. Plain and simple."

Alex started walking.

"You don't approve? I thought after this morning at the museum, you of all people could have related."

Alex stopped.

"
There's
more of me in you than you realize."

"The only thing I have in me is raging hormones," Alex said, pointing a finger. "I get a boner every other hour of the day because I'm sixteen! Not because I'm your son!"

Both of them stared at each other. Neither of them said anything for a long time.

"So they're
gonna
keep coming after me, aren't they? I'm proof. I'm living proof that you fucked up."

"Yes. But that isn't your concern. I will put a stop to this tonight."

Zeus walked past Alex and stood at the mouth of the alley. Alex saw the shadows of people running in all directions on the other side of the blaze. Sirens grew closer. Alex couldn't tell if it was the police, a fire truck, ambulances, or a combination of all three. "If stuff like this has happened before, how come nobody's noticed you? Why don't people know you're around?"

"If there's one thing we've always been able to count on, it's the human need of distraction and self-concern. In order to notice us, humanity would have to notice itself first. But, no, they're much too distracted with their texting and iPods to ever see us. And when they do happen to look up long enough to see something, the human need to explain things always does our work for us. Personally, I can't wait to see what kind of explanation they cook up for this one. I'm sure it will involve drugs of some sort. All of the big ones do.

"You should go home. While the humans work on an explanation, it's best that you're not seen."

Alex stared at the silhouettes frantically dancing back and forth between the flames. The weird thing about it was Alex knew exactly what had happened. As a result, he should be frantic. Instead, a creepy calm washed over him.

Alex backed away. The streetlight wasn't nearly as bright now.

BOOK TWELVE

THE MATERNAL BARISTA

Sophia Anderson loved every aspect of making coffee for her customers at the Corner Coffee shop in downtown Athens. As soon as she walked in, the smell of the expensive coffees, pastries, and syrups filled her nose, and gratefully clung to her clothes the entire way home.

Customers often complimented her for the shop's paintings, music, and warm color scheme. Their compliments often led to conversations which, in turn, led to repeat visits. The customers had become another part of the atmosphere in the shop that everyone, including Sophie, enjoyed so much.

She just hated owning the damn place.

Or rather, she hated the responsibility that came with owning it. Long after the smiling faces had gone home, Sophie was forced to stay behind and do bills, clean sinks, or fill out order forms for the following week. It was time that took Sophie away from her son, Alex, who already seemed to be growing more distant with each passing year.

Because of the time it took to close the shop, Sophie resisted the urge to peak outside at the commotion. Sirens had been wailing for the past thirty minutes and seemed to be stopping around Taco Loco. Curiosity and the need for a cigarette eventually overcame her. She walked outside the back entrance, anxiously fingering the cigarette in her pocket and looking around for the sources of the commotion.

Only to find Alex staring at her from the darkness of a nearby alley.

Sophie felt a combination of joy, disappointment, and anger. Joy for getting to see her son, disappointment for not being able to smoke a cigarette, and anger for his scaring the shit out of her. She almost pulled her mace on him.

Alex looked at her.
Really
looked at her. It was the first time she remembered her son paying any attention to her in years. But it wasn't a kind look.

He was starting to scare her.

"What's..." she cleared her throat, "What's wrong. Are you okay?"

Air rushed out of Alex's nose "Okay. No, mother, I'm certainly not okay. I am the opposite of okay. I'm...I don't know what that is, but that's what I am."

"Alex, what is it? What's going on?"

Alex dragged an old chair to Sophie. "Have a seat, mom. Let's get cozy."

Sophie folded her arms. "Alex. What. Is it?"

Alex flipped the chair around. "Fine, I'll sit down. Mom, it's time you tell me who my father is because I can assure you, it's certainly not a vacuum cleaner salesman from Kansas."

Sophie sighed and looked up. She wished she'd taken the seat.

~ * ~

Alex waited for his mother to say something, anything that would explain, or at least attempt to explain his increasingly fucked up day. Instead, she kept looking at the sky. "Well?"

She looked at him and sat on the sidewalk. She was a lean woman with pale skin and short, dark hair and, apparently, a really nice ass. "He came to you, didn't he?"

"Who is 'he'?"

"Who do you think 'he' is? He's the god of thunder."

Alex nearly fell out of the chair. "You knew? You knew who he was? You knew who he was then? Who know who he is--
is
now--you never told me? What kind of 'is' is that?"

"What was I suppose to say, Alex? What was I suppose to do? Say hey,
guess what, son
, your dad is a Greek god. Woo, lets all go have a party?"

Alex kicked the chair away. "You could have said something. Anything. You could have not said he was a vacuum cleaner salesman."

"Alex, I didn't know what to do. The whole thing seemed so crazy. And when I found out, he--
he
told me not to say anything. Not to anybody, especially you."

"Or what? Did he threaten you?"

"No, well, kinda. He told me people would just think I was crazy. And I'd be locked up, and you'd be taken away. And you know what? He was right. What would people say? Like I said, what would you say? I've known about it for years, and I don't even know what to say!"

"You could have said something."

"You keep saying that. But you don't know either. I mean what would you have done, Alex? You'll be a parent one day. Are you
gonna
sit your kid on your knee and tell 'em who granddad is?"

A siren cut through their uncomfortable silence. Sophie stood. "Is that a fire truck?" She walked to the side of the coffee shop.

Alex stepped in front of her. "I thought there weren't any guys. Not since high school."

Sophie turned her attention back to her son. "There weren't."

"Mom--"

"There weren't any guys. Only girls. And that's how he came. He was the most beautiful girl--woman I'd ever seen."

"Then how?"

"I don't know
how
, Alex. I just--it was during college, I was taking a summer class in Greece, I met her and
we
just...Nine months later, there you were."

Alex shook his head. It didn't make sense. Zeus was a guy, not a chick. How could... Then again, what did make sense today? Why is it so fucking hard to believe? After shotgun blasts, bolts of lightning, and going fisticuffs with the bull/man thing, why couldn't he believe it? Sure, Zeus could turn himself into a girl and somehow bust a nut right in--

Sophie's cell rang. "Alex, I--hang on, I'll just be a minute." Sophie stepped away and plugged her free ear with a finger to block out the other oncoming sirens. Alex thought he heard her say the name Charlie, which was the name of her accountant.

As soon as his mother turned her back, Alex left. His hands were balled into fists and he wished he had another Minotaur to pummel.

~ * ~

Zeus watched the entire exchange between Alex and his mother. He could have intervened on the boy's, or perhaps the mother's behalf. But what would be the point? Taking pity on them now might postpone the events he had worked so hard to put in motion.

Besides, he enjoyed watching Sophie from a distance.

Zeus replaced his fedora and continued down the street. He heard the sirens still wailing from the other side of Athens. He often wondered why humans decided to name such an awful sounding device after such a beautiful sounding creature. The very fact sirens lured sailors to their doom and police sirens supposedly delivered people from doom only increased his never ending fascination with these creatures.

He strolled through the streets of Athens for about ten minutes. Zeus could have taken a shorter amount of time if he wished, but he did so enjoy this world.

He was going to miss it.

Zeus rounded the corner of a print shop and she was there waiting for him, just like he knew she would be: Hera.

And a few other gods as well. Apollo, Ares, Demeter, Hermes, and Hestia. All of them were there. And all of them were waiting on him.

Zeus removed his hat. "I expected you, dear Hera, but these others? Surely I have never done you any wrong. At least, no wrong a respectful father can do to a child."

Hera stepped forward. The others looked nervous. "We've had enough."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "Oh. We've had enough of your cheating, of your manipulating, of your--"

"Fucking?"

Hera's knuckles whitened.

"Is that what this is about? You all have decided to turn against me because of a few good lays? What took you so long?"

Apollo stepped forward and the temperature in the alley increased twenty degrees. "You stated the rules, father. You decreed none of us may interfere with man. Yet here you are, interfering."

Zeus laughed. "What have I done, Apollo?"

"You fucked her!" Hera's voice became a shrill. "You fucked her and had a child! A miserable human child! A--"

"Demigod."

Hera blinked. "A-a what?"

"A demigod, wife. He's not just any child. Like
Herkuleas
,
Persueas
and the others before them, this is an actual demigod. Possibly even a Titan."

The children looked at one another. Hera smiled. "You have just sealed your fate. The others were not entirely convinced this was the right course of action until you foolishly spoke just now."

"Well, this might change their minds." Zeus threw a lightning bolt at Hestia.

She exploded, stunning most of the gods in the alley, but not all.

The people of Athens heard thunder several more times that night before Zeus died.