Holiday Hijinks

Chapter 1

I face my closet and tr
y to remember everything I need for my trip. Jeans and my heavy coat. My stuff for New Year’s, which goes into another bag entirely. I remember the book I’m reading and grab it, shoving it in my packed-full handbag.  There’s a box of presents by the front door.  I check the clock. Carter is going to be late, which will make us late to meet Josh, which will blow everything I’ve painstakingly organized for this holiday trip home.

“
Lies and manipulation take a lot of coordinating,” says Finley, who’s been yammering at me through the phone about what a bad idea this is for the last twenty minutes.

“You’ve never met my parents. Lies and manipulation are t
he only way to get through a five-day Christmas break.”

“They can’t be that bad.”

“They’re worse. Southern. Conservative. Religious. There is nothing about me dating a man nine years younger than me that is going to go well. Plus, he’s catholic and a democrat,” I explain for the hundredth time. “This is the only way Carter can come with me.”

“Right, right,” she
sighs. “Lies and manipulation.”

“My parents loved Jamie. They were so upset when we broke up. He was perfect in their eyes. He’s a doctor, a republican and our families go to the same church. How do you beat that?”

“Um,” she says, “With Carter Hightower. He’s the most All-American boy you could ever bring home. Plus, he’s amazing in bed. Stop worrying.”

I sit on the edge of the bed and pick at a loose thread on the quilt. “You know, I think this is good for us. Sex has always been such a major part of our relationship. Going a couple days isn’t going to kill us.”

“No, but the lies may. You’re hiding your boyfriend of almost 18 months from your family.”

“It hasn’t been 18 months,” I say. “We weren’t even together last Christmas.”

“Ruthie, girl, I love you, Carter loves you, and your family loves you. Maybe at some point, you’ll realize you don’t have to do all this stuff.”

“That’
s easy for you to say; you’re in like, the most functional relationship I’ve ever seen.”

Finley doesn’t argue because she knows I’m right. Her boyfriend Ryan is pretty damn perfect.
“It will be fine. Have a good holiday. Text and call. I’ll see you at the beach once all this blows over.”

“Merry Christmas
.”

I hang up the phone and carry my
bags to the driveway and have gone back in for my pillow and laptop when Carter pops in the door.

“Hey
, babe,” he says, hands running up my shirt. His mouth covers mine before I can say anything in return and my skin erupts in excited goose bumps. He’s hard and ready against my stomach, which is pretty much the norm for a nineteen-year-old. Especially Carter Hightower, a genetically superior man, who is my utter and absolute kryptonite.

“We don’t have time.” I try to push him away
, but it’s like attempting to move a brick wall. Not only is he tall and strong, but touching him elicits a physical response that is not helpful.

“There’s always time.
Plus, you’ve forced me to agree to a no sex policy for the whole Christmas break. I need one more hit.”

Damn, he has me there. Carter and I are pros at this.
The sex part. The relationship part, we’re still working on. The first two months we were together were based entirely on sex. Forbidden, secret sex. I’d spotted him when he was lifeguarding, just graduated from high school and the hottest thing I’d ever seen. I knew then that I was in trouble. I knew I would have him and I did, teaching him everything an eighteenyear-old needed to know about sex. But then things got complicated. We worked through it, but still, Christmas together? Even in hiding? This is a big deal for us.

Standing in my kitchen, I look him over, head to toe, and take in his broad shoulders, massive wing-span and long, lean body. I have a flashback to making out with him in the pool locker room the summer we met. The way he bent me over. The feeling of the cool tile beneath my hands. The way his sweaty body felt against mine.

Unnnnggnf
.

“Ten minutes,” I tell him, tugging at his belt. “And I want to come first.”

He blesses me with a perfect, All-American smile. “Bedroom or floor?”

“Surprise me.”

*

“Dear God.”

He doesn’t make it to the bedroom or the floor.  Instead I’m splayed over the kitchen table like Thanksgiving dinner, knees up and spread. Carter? Well, his tongue glides across my most sensitive parts like he’s determined to lick the, um, ‘plate’ clean. He takes me to the edge, familiar with my body and sounds, until I get there
, right there,
and he pulls my hips forward, flings my legs over his shoulders and slams into me so hard my teeth rattle.

“
Ooof,” I grunt, jutting my hips forward. He buries his face in my neck.

“Come on,” he whispers, tickling my ear. He doesn’t need to say it.
I’m already coming, legs shaking, hips squirming, toes curling in reaction. He smiles, smug and lovely, twisting his face in beautiful pain, emptying everything he’s got.

“One,” he says, breathing hard and sweating harder, “minute to spare.”

I prop up on my elbows and he hands me my pants. “I’m not sure how we’re going to get through Christmas without doing this.”

Carter buckles his belt and gives me a wary look. “Never
gonna happen Ruthie.”

“It is going to happen and you agreed to it.
Christmas with my family. No sex. No hand jobs, no blow jobs, no kissing, no nothing.”

“You really think we can pull this off?”

I move off the table and wrap my hands around Carter’s rock-hard waist. “We’ve got no choice. There is no way in hell I’m telling my parents about us. Dig deep and use that willpower I know you have.”

“Oh, I know I can do it,” he says. “I’m the king of willpower. I’m just not so sure about you.”

That makes two of us.

*

“Aunt Ruthie,” Josh says, as I pull up to the curb in front of the dorm. Yes, I’m his aunt and only 9 years older. My nephew is the same age as my boyfriend. It’s awkward and weird but that’s what happens when your sister is thirteen years older than you
and
you’re a cradle robber. “You’re late.”

“My fault,” Carter says, getting out of the car to hel
p him load the trunk. He offers Josh his hand. “I’m Carter, by the way.”

“Oh, you’re my new best friend.  Nice to meet you,” he says, rolling his eyes
behind his thick, black-framed glasses. Next to Carter he looks even shorter and nerdier than normal. Especially in the Pac-man shirt. He climbs in the backseat, iPad in his lap. “I can’t believe you think this is going to work. We look like the odd couple.”

“
No you don’t. And it’s totally going to work,” I argue. “You’re both sophomores. You both go to Duke. We’re all going to the same place for the holidays. Why is this such a big deal?” I pull away from the building. We had two hours to work all this out. Josh better not back out now or I will totally kick his ass. I don’t care if he’s blood related.

Josh leans
forward, between the two seats. “You’re asking me to lie to my entire family to cover up some stupid cougar affair you’re having.  Why don’t you just tell Moms and Pops? They won’t care. Carter seems like a nice enough guy, even if he’s a little bit of a meathead.”

Carter cut his eyes at Josh.  Laying my hand on his arm, I say,
“He’s not a meathead. He’s smart and funny and…” I want to add, outstanding in bed, but that would just be awkward and exactly what we are not looking for at the moment. “And a competitive athlete. He swims for Duke. It’s why he’s coming with us to Charlotte for the holiday.”

“You’re coming for Christmas because you’re a collegiate swimmer?” Josh i
s smart. A smart-ass, that is. He’s some kind of computer genius. The next Steve Jobs or whatever.

“No, man.
I’ve got to keep up my training and I had a meet two days ago. Regional qualifiers are the week after break.”

“So? I’m still no
t sure why this means you need to come home with us and disturb my holiday plans,” Josh says.

“
Like you have plans,” I say, sticking my tongue out. “Carter’s  parents are in London. There was no way he could fly over and keep up his training for the meet.” I sigh and turn onto the highway. “None of that matters, anyway. You two just need to pretend to be best friends. I’ll pretend I don’t know Carter and Mom and Pop will be none the wiser.”

Josh sank back into the seat. “If you say so, but still seems like you should just admit he’s your boyfriend.
Plus, even if Moms and Pops don’t figure it out, it’s not like my mother is an idiot, you know.”

My sister Tara definitely could be a problem.

“You leave your mother to me.”

Tara would kill me if she found out. Dating a guy the same age as her son? No mother could handle that information well.
My parents? There’s just no way my parents would accept me dating a 19 year-old. I’m twenty-eight and a grad student. He’s a sophomore. I’d barely warmed up to the idea of admitting it at school.

“Why don’t you two
‘besties’,” learn a little bit more about each other on the ride down, okay? I’ll just focus on driving.”

“Whatever Aunt Ruthie,” Josh says, turning his attention to Carter.  “So what kind of music do you lik
e?”

Chapter 2

We stop five minutes away from the house to
switch seats in the car. It makes no sense for Carter to be up front with me while Josh sat in the back. “I’m going to go in and get a soda,” Josh says, stretching his arms and legs, heading to the convenience store.

“You sure you don’t want to play this straight?” Carter asks, leaning against the car. “It’s not too late.”

“Yes, it is. I’ve already told them you’re Josh’s friend. If I change it now, it will spark too many questions.”

“Okay, babe,” he says, giving me a quick kiss.
“Whatever you want.”

“Just so you know
, I am really excited you’re here with me. I want you to meet everyone and join in our family traditions. There are a couple of parties, including one at our house and the Christmas Eve service. Mom said she waited to decorate the tree until we got there.”

“Sounds great,” he said, again pressing his lips to mine.
I push him away, afraid someone will see us. We’re practically in my parent’s neighborhood. Carter ducked into the backseat, cramping his long legs.

“This is where you grew up?” Carter asks the minute we enter my neighborhood. I point out the elementary and middle school.

“Yes, it’s not historical like yours,” I reply. Carter grew up in a much older, beautiful home in Raleigh. My parents definitely believe in suburban living. Fenced yards and the status quo.

“It’s your history,” he says softly.

“Okay, well, I broke my arm on that swing,” I laugh, pointing across the playground. “Then one time I rode my bike into oncoming traffic and hit a car.”

“You hit the car or the car hit you?”

“I hit the car.”

“Aunt Ruthie is a notorious spaz,” Josh adds.

We turn onto my street filled with standard, well-kept, two story, brick homes. The street does look pretty with all the Christmas decorations. It’s close to dinner, which means daylight’s fading fast. It also means the lit trees are festive in the windows.

“This is it,” I say, pulling into the driveway.
Our front window is dark, but I can make out the outline and shape of the undecorated tree. I spot movement near the front door. “I hope you’re ready for this.”

“Ruthie, it’s going to be fine,” Carter says. Josh snorts and
grabs his bag, leaving us by the car.

“Just remember, no matter what, I love you.”

“We aren’t going into war,” Carter says, shaking his head.

I pick up my bags and head to the door. “We’ll see.”

*

“You look thin,” my mother says into my hair after she’s pulled me into a hug. It’s better than looking fat, which is what she told me last year. Okay, fat is an over exaggeration, but I may have eaten my way through the last holiday season due to my break-up with Carter. I love my mother, but there’s no pleasing her. Somewhere between fat and thin, I guess. An elusive number on the scale I’ll never find. “But happy,” she adds. “Seeing someone?”

“Just happy to be home,” I say.
Why must my happiness come from a man? I sneak a peek at Carter, well aware of the hypocrisy.

My dad intercepts me with a hug and a series of questions.
“How’d the car do on the way down? Still getting good gas mileage? No problem with that new transmission?”

“The ca
r is great dad.” I squeeze him back. “How are you?”

“Good. I planted two new hydrangeas in the back and your mother won’t let me watch Fox News but two hours a day.”

“But the weather’s been nice for golf?”

“I shot well yesterday.”

“I’m worried about his blood pressure,” Mom says. “That’s why I limit the news. It gets him all worked up.”

Good grief.

I step aside and let Josh and Carter enter the house. There’s a moment of intrigued silence when they spot Carter. “Um, this is Carter,” Josh says. “My friend from school.”

I feel everyone sizing up the situation. How these two polar opposites became friends. My mother’s eyes are wide. My sister’s jaw drops two inches. I’m amused but not surp
rised.  I just worry one of the two guys will blow this before we even move past the foyer.  There’s no need, of course. Carter smiles genuine and handsome and says, “Nice to meet everyone. Thanks for having me.”

He shakes my father’s hand
, firm and polite. The ice is broken.

Carter Hightower.
Charmer of men, women, and children.

*

After the uneventful introduction, Carter follows Josh to the basement with his bags. I head to my childhood bedroom, complete with twin beds and matching purple comforters. A stuffed bear rests against the pillow and I pick him up, sniffing the familiar musty smell. One bed already has a suitcase on top and I assume my sixteen-year-old niece, Maddie, and I are sharing a room.

That’s what
happens when you’re single and the youngest. At least I’ve finally moved up from the kids table.

I’m halfway through unpacking
when my sister, Tara, enters the room and closes the door. “Thanks for bringing Josh down, Sean still won’t let him have a car on campus.”

“
He’s just being a protective dad. Plus, he doesn’t need one, anyway,” I say. “And no problem.”

“So…” she starts, grabbing a pillow and sitting on my bed.

“So what?”

“Um, Carter?
” she says in a low voice. “I didn’t know they made kids that looked like that.”

Kids.

“I guess he’s good looking.”

“You guess? He’s
hot
. Like, ‘I’d leave my husband after twenty years’, hot.”

“You would not,” I laugh. Tara, if
anything, is very responsible and by the book, no way she’d cheat on Sean.

“Just wait. When you hit forty you’ll understand. It’s like some kind of primal need takes over. I see a guy like that and I just want to…” she stops,
eyes glazing over while her cheeks grow red. “Sorry. That was wildly inappropriate.”

“No,” I laugh. “That was the most honest I think you’ve ever been.”

“Never tell anyone I said that. I think I just needed to say it out loud, to get it out of my system.”

“I won’t.” Trust me. I won’t. 

“He and Josh seem like an odd pairing, don’t you think?”

“They got along okay in the car. Maybe Josh was just being nice by giving him a place to hang over the holidays. You meet a lot of different people in school.” I hang a couple dresses in the closet, next to the remains of my wardrobe from before I moved out.
I hold up a hot pink, sequined prom dress. “I guess Mom and Pop never got around to cleaning out my room.”

“Mine is the same way, except everything is plaid and flannel.” She eases off the bed. “Oh
, one more thing about that Carter kid?”

“What?”

“We’re going to have to watch Maddie like a hawk. She’s going to be all over him.”

Huh,
I hadn’t thought of that. “You think he’s her type?”

“Ruthie,
” she says, in a tone I’ve never heard from her before. “That kid is
everyone’s
type.”

*

Carter won over my family in record time. By dinner he sat between Sean and my father discussing the current state of Duke basketball. By dessert he had plans to meet up with them all for a game on campus in late January and to play a round of golf with my father. He charmed my mother by calling her ‘ma’am’.  She became solidly Team Carter when he took his plate to the sink
and
put it in the dishwasher.

Tara couldn’t keep her eyes off his shoulders and nudged me under the table twice to point out his jawline.
And Maddie? Well, Tara’s right. Carter will need to lock his door at night, because that girl’s already smitten.

“Let’s leave these dishes for later,”
Mom says, shooing us out of the kitchen. “We need to get that tree decorated before it’s too late. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow. The McMahans have their party and then we have people coming over Christmas night.”

When we get to the living room,
Maddie and Tara sort ornaments on the floor, pointing out the glittery, tacky homemade ones. The guys are parked in front of the TV, watching a football game. Except Carter. After a quick search, I find him in the hallway, looking at a series of pictures my mother has framed and lined down the wall.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“You were pretty cute,” he says, pointing to a baby picture.

“Were?”

He ignored me and moved down the hall to the next one. I have a missing tooth. “I see you were a fan of pigtails.”

“I was.”

He glanced at me, a sly grin on his mouth. “That’s like, every catholic school boy’s fantasy.”

“Dude, I’m like, six
in that photo. Don’t be a pedo.” I shake my head the minute I say it. If anyone around here is a pedo…

“You aren’t six
now,” he says quietly. “I bet you could rock a set of pigtails.”

“Watch it
, Hightower. It’s only been three hours.”

“Ready to cave?”

I check out his shoulders, stretched tight in the olive green T-shirt he’s wearing over a thermal long-sleeved shirt. The thermal is pushed over his elbows and I see his forearm muscle, long and lean down his arm. I lean forward, just a little, and catch a whiff of his detergent.

“I have willpower, too,
you know.” I front, impressed with how easily I’m able to lie. His smirk implies he doesn’t believe me.

We stare hard at one another until Tara calls out
, “Ruthie, we’re not doing this alone. Get in here!”

“I’ve been summoned. Wait here and don’t come out for five minutes.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” I say, leaving him in the hallway all alone, pretending I don’t want to turn around and rip that shirt right off his body.