Alexandr's Cherished Submissive (16 page)

John stepped closer, and she was all too aware of how his brown eyes had darkened further. His laughter faded, and the tension grew between them. The scent of the beer he’d had and his woodsy cologne reached her, and she knew he was going to kiss her. She darted a glance at Alex’s door, and a pang of stupid guilt went through her, like she was somehow cheating on him even though they didn’t have a sexual or romantic relationship in any way. Then again, she woke up in his bed this morning with his body wrapped around hers.

And that dream…so intense it almost felt real.

“Jessica,” John spoke softly, drawing her gaze from Alex’s door and back to him. “I had a really good time with you tonight.”

“Me too,” she replied with a small smile. She was determined to live in the moment and told her misplaced guilt to take a hike.

He stroked his hand along her jaw then cupped her neck, gently tilting her head up with his thumb. She didn’t resist his touch, and when he brushed his lips over hers, a warm tingle rushed through her. Pulling back a bit, he studied her face. Whatever he saw there seemed to reassure him because he went back for a second kiss, this one much deeper. His tongue brushed over her lips, and she opened for him, sliding her arms up over his broad shoulders, tasting the lingering bitterness of the dark stout he drank earlier in the night, losing herself in his touch. He was a good kisser, gentle and seductive, slowly building her arousal until she was kissing him back while he pressed her against her door. He began to inch his other hand up the front of her shirt, his obvious destination her breast even as she raised her hand to halt his progress.

She heard sound of a door opening and pulled away. Her heart sank when Alex stood framed in the doorway of his apartment, his face a mask of cold fury. He was wearing a dark wool coat over a black suit that fit him perfectly and carrying a large, oddly long suitcase. As always he looked good enough to eat, but oh man, she’d never seen him so angry before, and she found herself pressing up against her door in an effort to put more distance between them.

Maks followed Alex out, and they both glared at John, who still had his arm wrapped around her waist. All the arousal she felt for John vanished, replaced by shame when Alex’s gaze moved to her. She felt like she should apologize to him. She’d never seen him so pissed off, and it scared her. His ire filled the small space of the hallway like an electrical storm, and John moved into a protective stance in front of her.

Keeping a firm grip on her, John lifted his chin. “Alex, Maks.”

Maks lifted his chin back, but Alex’s jaw clenched as though he was grinding his teeth. “I thought you were better, Jessica.”

“What?”

His burning gaze came to her, and she shrank back. “Letting this
dolboeb
grope you like a common whore. I thought you had more class, not to go from one man’s bed to straight to another’s.”

She gasped, his words a slap in her face. John started to say something, his tone aggressive, but she cut him off. “I can’t believe you just said that!”

“Is truth.”

John growled something in Gaelic that didn’t sound complimentary, but Jessica yelled at the glowering Russian man first. “Who the fuck do you think you are, Alex Gorev? You...you of all people are going to try and pull a morality card on me? Are you for fucking real?”

Maks stepped in between them. “Enough.”

“Oh no, Maks, it isn’t enough. I don’t know what fucking planet you live on, Alex, but you don’t get any say in who I kiss and where.” Her voice broke. “I can’t believe you just called me a whore. I thought you were my friend.”

“You sleep with me last night. Now you kissing other man. Is actions of whore.”

“Alex,” Maks snapped in a disapproving voice, but her temper flared to life.

John gave her a hard look, and she felt the need to defend herself.

“I passed out drunk with his brother there! We didn’t do anything!”

Alex blinked at her, his gaze clearing for a moment before John tried to step in front of her again. “You do not remember?”

“Remember what?” Her cheeks burned as she recalled her dream that may not have been a dream. “I was passed out, wasted, I don’t remember anything.”

John looked down at her. “You got drunk with him last night?”

“Him and his brother, but nothing happened!”

“I did not know you are such a good liar, Jessica,” Alex growled out. “You know exactly what happened, how you woke me with your kisses, begged me to pleasure you.”

“Shut up!” She whirled to face Alex full on, meeting his furious gaze with one of her own. Her temper was blazing, white hot, and without even thinking, she closed the distance between them and pushed her hands into his chest and shoved, surprising him enough that he went back a step. “God, why are you being such an asshole? What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why did you have to ruin a good night? You don’t want me—you’ve made that abundantly clear—so stop being such a dick! You’ve probably fucked dozens of women in the past few months, but you don’t see me trying to mess up your dates with them!”

A hint of regret broke through Alex’s cold expression, but she turned away before he could see the tears filling her eyes.

His voice was gentle as he said, “Jessica—”

“Maks, get him the fuck out of here.” She turned to John, who looked ready to beat the hell out of Alex and not at all happy with her. “I’m sorry for this asshole. I really did have a very good time with you and your friends.”

John looked down at her, displeasure darkening his features. “You kissed him?”

“We didn’t do anything.” She ignored Maks speaking to Alex in a low voice in Russian and held John’s gaze. “You’re the first man I’ve kissed in months, John. I haven’t even been on a date since before I came to Ireland.”

John gave Alex a smug, pointed look then turned to Jessica and grabbed her, giving her a kiss that was a lot harder than his earlier one. She wasn’t stupid. She knew John was trying to prove some kind of point by kissing her like this, and she didn’t appreciate that so she ended it quickly by slipping out of his grip then fumbled for her keys with shaking hands. Maks shouted something at Alex, who was growling—fucking
growling
—as if he was somehow the offended party here.

“Goodnight,” she told John then turned her gaze on Alex. “And I don’t want to talk to you ever again. Friends don’t treat each other like this, Alex. Just leave me the fuck alone! I’ll tell Peter if he wants someone to watch over me, it won’t be you. You…you asshole!”

She slammed the door shut behind her.

Male voices rose on the other side, and she gave a frustrated scream before throwing her purse on the couch and stomping to her bedroom. She knew Maks wouldn’t let Alex do anything stupid, but she still worried about John as she threw herself onto her bed and let out another angry scream.
Damn him!
Damn that man for fucking with her head like this! Damn him for playing games with her, and damn him for not wanting her and getting all pissy when someone else did. She knew better than to get involved with him, knew that something like this would happen. She’d trusted him. Tears began to trail down her cheeks, and she curled up on her bed with her arms wrapped around herself.

Someone pounded on her front door, but she ignored it, pulling her pillow over her head to drown out the sounds of Alex’s demands that she let him, that he needed to talk to her. Nothing he could say would take those words back or erase the memory of the disgust on his face as he called her a whore. With every second that passed, she built up walls around her wounded heart to harden it against his pleas. He sounded sorry and upset, but she didn’t give a shit. The banging and yelling went on for some time before silence finally returned to her apartment, and she lay there in the dark for a long time, wishing she’d never met Alexandr Gorev and vowing that she would never speak to that prick again.

Oleg shuffled around in Alex’s kitchen the next morning, tossing away two empty fifths of vodka. “You must be one of the stupidest assholes in the world.”

“Fuck you,” he snapped in a sullen mutter. Alex would have roared if the very idea of his loud voice ringing in his ears didn’t hurt his head so much. “She was letting him maul her, touch her right in front of my fucking door, after she spent the night in my bed.”

“So what? Why shouldn’t she go on a date with a young man her age? Did you think that with as beautiful as she is no man would ask her out? That she’d be content with your friendship? You know she wants more, and she tried to get it from you, but you turned her away.”

“Not because I don’t want her.”

“But she does not know that.” Oleg shook his head, his rough face grim. “And she obviously did not remember whatever you did in bed with her.”

“Fuck you,” Alex mumbled again, his head aching almost as much as his heart. “She remembered. I could see it in her eyes.”

Oleg snorted. “And you, of course, were patient and understanding with her. Knowing that she thinks her love for you is completely unreturned. Knowing that she was very, very drunk. You, of course, handled it gently and with great tact, making her understand that she is more than a friend to you.”

“She knows we are more than friends,” he muttered, feeling like shit both inside and outside.

With a sigh, Oleg looked to the ceiling then back at Alex. “You are going to screw this up if you don’t make things right between you soon. Not to mention Mary slitting your throat for hurting Jessica. You know John is going to go tattle to her.”

“Fuck,” Alex muttered then sighed at the memory of Jessica’s silken hair flowing through his fingers. He wanted to touch her again, to lick the salt off the skin over her sensitive collarbone. But more than that, he wanted her gaze to light up at the sight of him and watch her soft lips curve into a smile that was only for him. Then the mental image of John kissing those lips made him see red.

“She was kissing him, Oleg. I almost killed that little shit.”

“Instead, you lashed out at her, insulted her, and reminded her of the fact she doesn’t have the pleasure of remembering your touch. This girl has been watching you with hungry eyes for months. Do you not think she may be just the littlest bit upset that she finally gets to kiss you and she cannot remember it? Such a smart man, yet such an idiot.” Oleg shook his head as he looked at Alex sprawled out over his couch in the same clothes as last night. “She isn’t answering my calls or Maks’. Luka is in Germany right now, so he emailed her asking if she wanted him to pick anything up for her while he’s over there. She hasn’t responded to him, either. You must have really pissed her off because she always asks Luka to bring her something.”

“She’s not answering mine, either,” he said in a low voice, wishing he wasn’t so hung over so he could get up and grab another bottle of alcohol to drown his sorrows in.

“Are you surprised? She loves you, Alex, and you crushed her.”

He didn’t like the shame filling him that had him looking away. He was Alexandr Novikov. He did not feel guilt over a woman—ever—yet his gut was burning with it, and he was practically jumping out of his skin with the need to see Jessica to make things right between them. “If she did before, she does not now.”

“You’re not an idiot. Stop acting like one. You know very well that she had strong feelings for you. The little girl wears her emotions plain to see, and only a fool could miss the way she pines over you. When you entered a room, she would automatically seek you out, and you do the same. The first thing you both look for is each other. I do not know what you said to her that was so harsh. Maks would only tell me you acted like a complete bastard, but you probably crushed her. She is not like us, Alex. She has lived a sheltered life. If you roared at her like you usually do when you’re pissed off, you know you hurt her deeply. Like I said, do not pretend to be an idiot. Own your mistakes. It is what men do.”

Oleg, as usual, was correct. Men did not whine and make excuses. They fixed their mistakes. He’d taken the precious gift of Jessica’s trust and damaged it in a jealous rage. The memory of looking out his door and seeing Jessica and that idiot John kissing hit him in the chest like a well-aimed punch.

There was a series of coded knocks on the front door before it opened. Maks came in, looking a little worse for the wear. His blue eyes were bloodshot, and his reddish-blond hair mussed up. After Alex had been a royal asshole to Jessica, they’d gone and completed a hit that went off without a hitch, but Maks wouldn’t talk to him. Alex knew his friend was pissed. He just didn’t know how pissed until Maks spotted him sitting on the couch.

“You know, I’ve seen you be a vindictive dick before, but last night, I was ashamed to have you as a friend. You lashed out at Jessica like she was one of your whores.” Before Alex could respond, Maks added, “If you do not want her, I will take her. It will not be easy to erase you from her heart, but I will be patient with her. She is a treasure, the kind of woman who would warm a man’s cock and home for the rest of his life, and she is wasted on you.”

Without thinking Alex was across the room, choking Maks and yelling, “You will not touch her!”

Oleg pried him off, leaving Alex slumped on the couch holding his pounding head in his hands. Rounding on him, Oleg glowered at Alex while Maks rubbed his throat. “Why? Why shouldn’t he touch her? You obviously don’t care about her.”

“I do care. I care too much.” He shot Maks an apologetic look while his friend glared at him.

“You’re falling in love with her,” Oleg stated in a low voice.

Unable to deny it, Alex shook his head. “It does not matter what I feel. You know our world isn’t safe enough for me to be with her openly yet. I need more time.”

“Your father is getting old,” Maks ground out in a raspy voice as he massaged his throat with a grimace. “And Gedeon Boldin has agreed to a truce between the Novikov and Boldin
Bratvas
, a truce made behind your father’s back, but one that has held strong for the last five years. Gedeon loves his family. He is like you. He wants peace between the
Bratvas
. The man lives in constant fear his wife and twin daughters will be taken from him, along with his son. Everyone is tired of suffering for the sins of your fathers.”