Alien vs. Alien (10 page)

CHAPTER 16

B
ELLIE WAS REMOVED FROM
her luxury accommodations. She happily perched on Jeff’s shoulder and seemed quite content to stay there. I got the impression she’d been riding around the Embassy like this a lot while I was gone.

“How is it that if a Poof is on your shoulder you feel unmanly, but you’re all over this bird sitting there?”

“Bellie’s different.”

“Whatever you say, Cap’n Jeff.”

“Huh?”

I decided not to elaborate. We headed for the elevators. The doors opened, but the elevator wasn’t empty—Buchanan was in it.

He smiled at me and Jamie. “Hey there, Missus Chief and Baby Chief.” Then he took a look at Jeff and gaped. “And Captain Chief.”

“What’s with all the captain stuff?” Jeff asked as we got into the elevator and he stood between me and Buchanan. “And call her Missus Martini.”

“Malcolm can call me whatever he wants.” He’d started calling me Mrs. Chief the moment we hit Florida. I liked it, in part because it always made me want to giggle. “And, seriously, Jeff, you have a parrot on your shoulder. All you need is an eye patch or a fake peg leg and you’re all set for Halloween, which is far away, or Purim, which you’re more than a little late for.”

“It’s a great look, really,” Buchanan added. He and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Jeff glowered. “It’s not funny.”

“Actually, it’s hilarious. But whatever. Malcolm, were you coming to see us?”

“Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about the incident at NASA Base.”

“Great, come on down. We’re meeting up with Chuckie to discuss that and other fun facts.”

Jefall her f wasn’t happy about this, but I no longer cared. He was carting Bellie around; I’d take Buchanan along. At least my plus one was human.

Buchanan looked closely at the bird. “Isn’t that Antony Marling’s parrot?”

We got out of the elevator. “Yeah, it is. How’d you know?”

“I researched everything related to you. I thought the bird would have gone to an animal rescue of some kind.”

I brought Buchanan up on the specialness that was the “gift” of Bellie to me by Peter the Dingo as we joined Chuckie and the Gower girls.

Bellie cawed happily when she saw Chuckie. “Reynolds! Reynolds! Reynolds!”

“I see she likes you.”

Chuckie shrugged. “The bird’s seen all of us a lot.” He winked at me. “Captain Martini likes to have her around.”

“Seriously, stop it with all the captain stuff,” Jeff snapped. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s pretty funny,” Naomi said as she and Abigail both giggled.

“Captains of industry,” Bellie said. “Captains of science.”

“What other captains are there, Bellie?” I asked.

She looked at me. “Captains of military.”

“Any other captains, Bellie?” The bird seemed to be considering. “Mimi, Abby, can either one of you see what the bird’s thinking?”

“No,” Naomi said. “We don’t do animal minds.”

“They don’t think like humans,” Abby added. “They don’t have emotions like humans, either.”

Pity. It was never nice to find limitations to our side’s powers. “Well, it was worth a shot. Jeff, you ask her.”

“Ask her what?”

“Ask Bellie about captains. And secrets.”

Jeff gave me the “you so crazy” look. “Why?”

“Just do it.” I managed not to snap. I didn’t want Bellie upset with me.

He sighed. “What other captains does Bellie know about?” he asked the bird in a goo-goo voice. Naomi and Abigail both put their hands over their mouths. I was certain they were trying not to laugh out loud.

“Captains in place.”

Chuckie sat up straight. “Captains in place where, Bellie?”

Bellie looked at him. “Paraguay and Paris! Paraguay and Paris!”

We all looked at each other. “Jeff, ask her about Daddy’s secrets. Keep on talking to her in that lovey-dovey way you seem to have acquired while I was out of town.”

He gave me a dirty look but did as requested. “Can Bellie tell Jeff about Daddy’s secrets?”

The bird did a jerking thing with her head. I couldn’t te co Jell if she was trying to nod yes, no, or just had a twitch. “Secrets for keeping. Bellie misses Daddy. Jeff misses Kitty. Jeff has Bellie. Bellie has Jeff.”

Interesting. Presumably Jeff had shared his loneliness with the bird and vice versa. I made a mental note to ensure this bird was never around when we were having sex. I didn’t need her imitating my yowling.

“Yes, Bellie has Jeff,” he confirmed, as if there were any doubt. “Bellie, tell Jeff Daddy’s secrets.”

Bellie did the head shake thing again. “Bellie knows Daddy’s secrets.”

“Jeff needs to know Daddy’s secrets.” The bird didn’t answer. He looked at me. “Any ideas?”

Jamie gurgled, and I kissed her head. Which led to inspiration. Always nice when that happened. “Bellie, Jeff is your Daddy now. So he should know Daddy’s secrets.”

Jeff nodded and looked back at the bird. “Jeff is Bellie’s Daddy now. Tell Jeff Daddy’s secrets, Bellie.”

The bird seemed to be considering her options. “Jeff is Daddy?” she asked. She sounded uncertain, not that I was any real judge of bird tonal inflections.

“Yes,” he said firmly. “Jeff is Bellie’s Daddy now.”

She did that head thing again. “Daddy’s secrets are ready to go. Captains in Paris and Paraguay. Bellie wants a treat.”

Jeff reached into his pocket and gave her a treat. I managed not to be either horrified or shocked. Of course he was now carrying around bird treats in his suit. Naturally. I wondered how many meetings outside of the Embassy he’d gone to with the bird along. Had a horrible feeling I’d find out at the most embarrassing times possible.

“Now tell Jeff Daddy’s secrets, Bellie.” Jeff stroked her head. “Be a good Bellie.”

“Good man. Good man. Captain is good man.” I doubted that, because it was unlikely anyone Marling had in place was good. “Can do. Can do. Captain can do.” This one I could buy—whoever was in place was likely able to do whatever evil actions he was assigned.

Bellie preened. “Bellie wants a treat!”

Jeff sighed and gave her another. “I don’t think she’s got any more, baby.”

“Or else she’s not ready or willing to tell us.”

“It’s a bird,” Buchanan pointed out. “How much do you really think it can tell us in the first place?”

The bird looked right at him. “Time to tell the dog to kill the cat.”

CHAPTER 17

I
COULDN’T SPEAK FOR ANYONE ELSE,
but my mind was going at top speed. “You know, I think my ‘uncle’ sent this to me for more reasons than him having a soft co JULDN’spot for abandoned animals.”

Chuckie nodded. “That sounds like the order Marling would have given to have you assassinated.”

“Only it was Madeline Cartwright who’d set up the assassins. She told me so.” And I didn’t doubt it, either, not based on all I’d seen and gone through.

“Doesn’t change things,” Chuckie said. “The bird must have heard the order given.”

“Wouldn’t you think she’d need to hear it more than once?” Buchanan asked. “To be able to repeat it, I mean.”

“Maybe.” What I knew about parrot learning skills could fit into one of Bellie’s treat pellets and have room to spare. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“True.” Buchanan looked at Chuckie. “Let’s deal with something more pertinent. How did they know to set up the attack at NASA Base?”

“I’ve been asking myself that since it happened,” Chuckie said. “I honestly have no idea.”

“We’re so screwed.” This remark earned me a glare from Jeff, a sorta-smile from Chuckie, and a laugh from Buchanan. “I also had a Very Special Test asking me some really interesting questions.” I filled everyone in on the weirdness that was in my special packet.

Buchanan shook his head when I was done. “My test was perfectly normal. I’d assume everyone else’s was, too. Why didn’t you say something?”

“At first I figured I was just being singled out because of everything that always happens around me. By the time I read ahead, I was too busy going ‘what the hell’ and being attacked by an android to do much else.”

“Why give her that kind of test?” Jeff asked. “Even if it was legitimate, the results would be thrown out because the test was so clearly biased.”

“I’m more interested in how the attack was put in place so quickly,” Buchanan said. He was looking at Chuckie again and he didn’t look all that friendly.

“I sweep for bugs regularly, so my phone wasn’t tapped. Martini’s and White’s weren’t either.”

“How do you know that?” Jeff asked.

“I have a mobile sweeper I carry with me.”

A thought occurred and I decided to share it before the men could start arguing or fighting. “Our phones aren’t bugged. But we have enemies all over. I’ll bet NASA Base’s phones are tapped, big time. Langley’s, too.”

“All these areas are routinely checked,” Chuckie said patiently.

“Yes, but let me remind everyone that the last time we went to NASA Base half of the Security team was part of Club Fifty-One and working for Howard Taft and Leventhal Reid and pointedly out to kill us all. Just because they’re long dead doesn’t mean someone else hasn’t picked up those pieces and started rebuilding.”

“Why would they be tapped for this?” Buchanan asked. “It seems almost . . . random.”

“It wasn’t.” I thought best running my mouth, sng ms almoo I kept on talking. “Look, it’s no secret I was down in Florida for a month. Whoever’s behind it—and we can be sure they were best buds with Antony Marling and probably Madeline Cartwright—they’re a long-term thinker, right? Because most of our enemies are.”

“Right.” Jeff looked thoughtful. “You think they were just waiting to see where you’d go to take this test?”

“Potentially, yeah. I mean, why the hysterical rush to get this test taken care of?”

“It’s protocol,” Chuckie said. “It’s not a hysterical rush. We’re late in doing in.”

“Even better. It’s something you have to have us do, so no one questions, right? And you’re late, so you’re in a hurry to get this taken care of so that less people in the C.I.A. lean on you, right?”

“Go on.” I could see Chuckie’s conspiracy wheels starting to turn again. Good. He was far too upset about everything. We needed him calm and thinking.

Which meant more yapping from me. Never an issue. “So, they were monitoring for wherever you’d ask to have the last of your A-C flock tested. Maybe the phones aren’t bugged. Maybe it’s just a couple folks at each location where we could take the test who get an extra fifty bucks or something if they share that we’re finally taking this test. They might not even know they were doing wrong. Someone high up saying ‘let me know when this finally gets taken care of’ wouldn’t raise alarms, and a grunt worker would be sure to advise the bigwig, because, well, that’s part of their job.”

Chuckie nodded slowly. “I can buy all of that. The tests are required to be taken in the type of rooms we were in—extremely secured and impregnable. It’s a perfect place for an ambush.”

“I buy all that,” Buchanan said. “But why give Kitty a special test? If I’d been handed something like that, I’d have brought it up immediately.”

“Whoever’s in charge knows Kitty,” Jeff said without missing a beat. “She’s not thrown by weird.”

“And she’s inquisitive,” Naomi added. “She’ll hunt leads down to see where they go.”

“Willing to take risks and a little foolhardy,” Abigail added.

“Geez, guys, I’m in the room. But, yeah, I can buy that whoever set Sandra’s lasers well beyond stun must have had some idea that I wouldn’t question.”

“Wouldn’t have mattered if the instructor hadn’t hunted you down,” Buchanan added.

White put his head in the room. “Ah, Mister Reynolds, glad you’re still here. I had a question for you. What happened to our instructor, John? Was he injured?”

Chuckie opened his mouth, but Walter’s voice came out. “Excuse me Chiefs, but there’s a video upload for Mister Reynolds that’s just come over from NASA Base.”

“Send it to my office,” Jeff said. “We’ll watch it there.”

Walter signed off, and we all went to the first floor. As we passed the kitchen, I trotted in. Hey, I’d gotten used to snacking a lot while with my in-laws.

Pierre was there and he beamed. “So good to have you and our little princess back, Kitty darling.” Jamie giggled and held out her arms to Pierre, who scooped her out of mine. “I see my Jamie missed her Uncle Pierre,” he cooed at her. “I also see you’re all bustling off about more exciting diplomatic business. Shall I just hold onto our little one and leave Mommy’s arms free?”

There was no way Jeff was going to have time to give Jamie attention right now, and I wasn’t going to let him hold her while Bellie was on his shoulder anyway. “Sure, Pierre, that’d be great. Ah, is there anything to eat?”

He grinned. “Yes indeed. Your lovely mother-in-law called and told me to ensure all of you kept on eating well once you were back here. I believe she’s worried about your Jeff’s eating habits, too.”

I snorted. “Jeff’s a healthy eater. I’m not. So, um, any brownies around?”

“Indeed there are.” He went to the pantry. “A plate of Lucinda Martini’s brownies, if you please.” Opened the pantry door, there they were. The Elves had come through once again. Pierre handed them to me. “I must say I love working and living here.”

I grabbed a brownie. Considered, and took the plate. “Me too. I’m going to bring these in for the others.” I was willing to take one for the team, especially since that meant I could snag another brownie while being kind and generous.

Gave Pierre a one-armed hug, gave Jamie a big kiss, and headed off down the hall to Jeff’s office.

Fortunately his office, like everything else in the Embassy, was spacious, because we had more people in here than I’d left in the hall.

Our in-person additions were Christopher and Amy, both of whom looked slightly mussed and only somewhat happy to be here, along with Kevin Lewis, who was my mom’s right hand man in the P.T.C.U. and assigned to a permanent berth at the Embassy, Tito, Melanie, and Emily. There was a video conference going, and I could see Alpha and Airborne on screen.

Everyone in the room and on the screen looked at me as I came in. “About time,” Christopher snapped.

“Sorry. I’m not the one who dragged you out of bed for the latest War Room discussion. Brownie? They’re Lucinda’s.”

Christopher, Amy, White, and Buchanan all grabbed a brownie before anyone else. Yeah, we’d gotten used to the good eating, even Buchanan. Sure he’d housed in the servants’ luxury pad, but Lucinda had insisted he eat dinner with us every night and had ensured he had plenty of snackage during the day.

I took the plate around to everyone, in part to be polite and in part so that the brownies stayed near to me. Jeff sighed as he took one. “Where’s Jamie?”

“I traded her for a plate of brownies and some magic beans. She’s with Pierre, getting cuddles and tons of one-on-one attention.” I managed to stop myself from mentioning that the person I’d expected to be doing that was Jeff. We were occupied. And, of course, he had his bird.

Who, it turned out, had her own Special Perch in his office. I wondered if there was some sort of Parrots Anonymous group I could drag Jeff to. Soon.

“So, now that you’re all snacking, can we get back to business?” Reader sounded annoyed. Probably bummed there were no brownies wherever Alpha Team was.

“How did the cleanup go?” I asked.

“And I’d very much like to know how our instructor, John, fared,” White added.

“Thankfully we were able to call in field teams as well as the Operations team, and because they evacuated the humans, they were able to use hyperspeed,” Reader said. “Everything but the gate hub is fixed and like new. The hub’s a little trickier, but it should be completed by tomorrow if not sooner.”

“And the instructor’s fine,” Gower added. “Shaken, but in a safe location, being debriefed.”

“Was he in on the attack?”

“No,” Tim said. “NASA had surveillance tapes running. Watch.”

There were several screens running. Actually, there were a lot of screens, with a lot of images running, but our particular focus was only on a set of them. With this and Serene in the room I realized Alpha and Airborne were at Imageering Control, or what I called the Bat Cave Level of the Dulce Science Center. I felt a pang. I still missed living there. The Embassy was great, but it wasn’t the Lair.

I pulled my focus back to the screens. One showed us arriving in our limo, with Buchanan right behind us. The other cars arriving raised no suspicions.

The employees parking lot showed John arriving in an older Toyota Corolla. He drove and parked carefully, but rushed out of his car and to the employees’ entrance. I checked the timestamp—he’d arrived about when we had, which would make sense if he was called in to manage the test.

There were plenty of other feeds, including some that showed walls, floors and ceilings exploding. Each explosion left a rather human-sized hole. I was kind of impressed. You couldn’t see that the cause of the explosions was me and Sandra slamming through.

“It’s like watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon,” Tim said, as the feeds started over again. “Nice job, Kitty.”

“Yeah, well, you try fighting off an android without weapons of any kind and then complain to me about some building damage. Speaking of which, what’s the status on my least favorite robot?”

“You tossing her in with the ’gators shorted out her self-destruct mechanism,” Reader said. “So, damages aside, this could really be an actual win for our side. She’s being examined now. Lorraine and Claudia are overseeing it. They’ll let us know what they find.”

“I want to see the results as soon as possible,” Chuckie said.

“Oh, yes, sir,” Reader snapped. Clearly there was something about being the Head of the Field—it meant you weren’t nice at all to the guy who you reported to in the C.I.A.

“You know what I don’t see in all the video feeds running on constant replay?” I said before any more alpha male sniping could continue. “I don’t see the people who attacked Jeff, Christopher, and Chuckie arriving. Nor do I see Sandra arriving.”

“Maybe they were already there, lying thd Cdormant,” Serene suggested.

“That would be a remarkably poor use of resources,” Chuckie said. “The android, fine I suppose you could leave her in some kind of stasis until activated. But the people who attacked the three of us were humans.”

“You’re sure?” I asked.

Christopher nodded. “They were a lot easier to beat than the androids we’ve faced. They could have been a problem if they’d surprised us, but they didn’t. Jeff and I handled them pretty easily.”