Aligned (14 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

A week passes and I still haven’t heard from the Council. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, and Dex refuses to talk about any of it at home. We are civil to each other, but our relationship is strained. He wants more, and feels like I am pushing him away on a personal level. On a professional level he feels wronged and like I am pushing him away again. There appears to be a theme here.

I still read Grace a story every night and sing to her. Her nightmares have gotten much better and she is even talking a little bit. Not much, but a few words here and there.

The Council aren’t the only ones caught off guard and upset by my announcement. Wes has been unusually silent since. Molly, of course, tells me I’m trying to have all the fun by myself and never gives it another thought. Wes is brooding.

I decide he has suffered in silence long enough, and once I kiss Grace goodnight I go talk to Wes and get it over with. He’s in his office again, as he has been every night this week. He’s coming up with some kind of program for the Career Department that is supposed to lessen the amount of privacy that is violated. I usually leave him alone while he’s working, but if we are going to talk this out it has to be done before I leave. Who knows if or when I will even be coming back?

I knock on his door and wait. I have to knock four times until he finally realizes I won’t leave and he comes to the door in a huff.

“I’m working, Rosaline.” His hair is a mess like he’s been running his hands through it, which is a sign he is either frustrated or onto something.

“How is everything on the project going?” I ask, ignoring his annoyance.

He sighs, then steps back and ushers me into the office.

“It’s going well, just trying to iron out all the bugs. So far it has surpassed my expectations.”

“You are coming up with a way to observe people without actually being observed or something like that right?”

He sighs again, and I know the last thing he feels like doing right now is explaining this to me. However, being Wes, he’ll do it anyway.

“The actual visual observation won’t change. Since you told me that the journal writing is what felt so wrong for you personally, I was able to write a program that will pick out certain key words and phrases and flag those. For instance, the main goal in most of those journals is to pick out people who will and won’t be a good candidate for president. We have key words we will look for, and those will automatically get filed away under ‘non-desired.’ The others will get sent to the ‘desired’ file, and then we know which people to take a closer look at. That way we don’t have to read everyone’s daily journals; only the flagged ones. Also, I’m in the middle of writing another program that will pick out key words in their writing and put them in a category. This will then filter down until it comes up with a perfect career match. It’s going to take much longer to work out all of the kinks, I’m afraid.”

“That’s brilliant, Wes! It’s absolutely perfect. The idea that someone was reading all my private thoughts every day was really upsetting. This way, people’s private thoughts can still be their own.”

“Yes, well within reason of course. I have the formula and code written out, and I’m getting ready to launch it for a trial run.”

“I’m so proud of you, Wes! Seriously, I never could have done this without you.”

He gives me a shy smile and runs his hand through his hair again. I know he’s still upset but I’m not going to bring it up.

“I’m sorry I’m going to have to leave you, Wes. I’m going to miss you so much and I know how hard this is going to be on you.”

He looks at me for a moment and then shakes his head. “Do you? Do you really know how hard it is, Roz?” He says it barely above a whisper and there’s no anger in his voice, only fear.

I take his hand and even though he flinches at the contact he doesn’t pull away.

“Change isn’t something I adjust to and move on like everyone else, Roz. It’s more than simply emotional, even though I know that’s what everyone thinks. I know they think I’m a nutcase, and maybe I am. It’s more than that though. When something is off, my whole life feels off. I don’t breathe right, it feels like I’m having a panic attack, and like the world is tilted. Not off its axis enough to throw everyone off, only tilted enough that I notice. Who am I going to talk to every night? Who will I eat lunch with? It’s hard enough to go for months without you, and now you don’t even know when you’ll be back. It could be years, it could be never! How am I going to get by without you?”

His words and the plea behind them break my heart. While I knew this would be hardest on him, I didn’t quite understand how much he still needs me. He has changed so much since coming to the Ministry and he really got out of his comfort zone, so I guess I thought he would adapt to this as well. Based on his reaction he isn’t doing as well as I hoped.

“I’m sorry, Wes. I really wish you could come with me, or that I didn’t need to go. But I do need to go. The hardest part of this job is putting the needs of the masses ahead of the needs of those who are closest to me. I think that’s why the Council preferred someone young and without a family. It’s the ties that are the hardest and you, Wesley Sanders, are my tie. You ground me too, you know. I know you think you need me, but I need you too.” I hug him and he doesn’t let go right away as usual.

“I know you’re worried about what happens when I leave but I’ve been giving it some thought. I need someone to read to Grace every night and sing her songs. Though I’m sure you can talk Dex into doing the songs, I know she’ll love your stories. This way you’ll have a nightly routine again and she’ll be able to keep hers up. It would really help me out. Do you think you can do that?”

He nods silently.

“You’ll continue to walk to work with Dex and Molly every day, and I’m sure Andi would love to have lunch with you. On those days she can’t, Molly or Aspen will. You will find new routines and you can stick with those until I’m back. And I promise you, no matter how tired I am I will write you every single night before bed, okay?”

“All right,” he whispers, still not looking at me.

“Come on, Wes. I think this is going to be good for both of us, you’ll see. You’re going to be so busy coming up with brilliant ideas you won’t even know I’m gone.”

“Okay, Roz. I really need to get back to this so we can launch tomorrow and get the bugs out, okay?”

It breaks my heart to see Wes so upset, but sooner or later it was bound to happen that we get separated. It’s a miracle we’ve been able to stay together as long as we have. I kiss his forehead and go back to my room.

The next day is hard. It’s officially my last day in the Ministry for an unknown length of time. I’m talking to Andi and Aspen about keeping an extra eye on Wes for me, and even Dexter offers to keep an eye out. I go over the sign up lists one last time with Malik.

Surprisingly, only half the number of citizens we were expecting have signed up. The people are thrown off, though after all the meetings in the town halls they appear to understand. We will only need to build one more compound, maybe two at most. A few people from the original compound, still known as the O.C., offer to help start up the new ones.

I am excited for this new adventure. Then I get a message from Samuel telling me the Council is ready to meet with me again. I take a deep breath and stand up, trying to remind myself that no matter the outcome, this is the right thing to do…even if I went about it the wrong way. I head to the Council room and scan in.

Lucas greets me with a warm smile. “Good afternoon, Rosaline.”

“Good afternoon, everyone.” I look around the room trying to read everyone’s face to see if I can gauge the outcome of their vote. No sense in wasting time. “I assume you all voted?”

“We have,” Clarisse answers.

“Before I hear the outcome I want to apologize again. I spent a lot of time this week thinking over everything that happened. My actions were wrong and I am very sorry. You were right, Samuel. Going off on my own like that is just as bad, if not worse, than some of the former president’s mistakes. I can see where I was getting cocky and thought I could do what I wanted, and that was wrong. Even though I do think it was best, I shouldn’t have done it without discussing it with you first. If your vote is to replace me, I understand and will go peacefully. If it isn’t, I promise you it won’t happen again. I understand that we all have someone to answer to.”

I sit down and try to prepare myself for what’s coming.

“I’m glad to hear we are on the same page now. It was a very close vote, Roz, but at this time you will not be replaced. However, there are going to be some added stipulations. You need to continue to meet with Dr. Wright even though you’re going to be helping with the compounds. You will need to make a trip back once a month to see her. Also, you need to keep the Council updated weekly, as well as take a few days a month to see to things in the Ministry. You are still president and with that come other responsibilities you can’t put off.” He looks at me pointedly and waits for a reply.

“I understand, and that won’t be a problem.”

“Wonderful! We are very much looking forward to your reports. This has been a positive thing. We’re happy with the progress and the low level of resistance,” Annabelle says.

“If that is all I’d better get going since we leave first thing in the morning.”

I stand to leave and everyone says their good-byes. I’m not surprised to see Dex following me out. I wait until we come to the end of the hall where nobody can overhear us and move to face him.

“So I guess this is good-bye then?” he asks, looking down at me with sad eyes.

“It’s only for a while, Dex. It’s not like I’m not coming back.”

“I know; it’s going to be so different without you here is all.”

“I know, I’m going to miss all of you too.”

“Not all of us. Jeff is going with you isn’t he?”

Not this again.

“Dexter, I’m not picking Jeff Adams over you. For that matter I’m not even picking you. Right now I’m choosing my country.”

“I know.”

I touch his cheek and wait until his eyes meet mine. “There’s no one else, Dex,” I say softly.

He smiles slightly at this. “Do you want me to wait for you?”

“I won’t ask you to wait for me. If we are right for each other it won’t matter if it’s one day or six years. Time doesn’t matter when it’s the right person. I could never settle, and if you find someone else in that time then I’ll know it wasn’t right.”

He puts his hand on top of mine. “It’s right, Tink. Go save the world and I’ll be here when you get back.”

I chuckle. “Don’t go giving me too much credit now. The whole world? Let’s start with the country first and work our way up.”

He kisses me and I trace the scars on his face, trying to burn everything about him into my memory. Then he goes back to the Council and I go home to pack.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Wes

I open my eyes and look over at the clock. Exactly three minutes before the alarm is set to go off, as usual. I get out of bed and count out the seventeen steps it takes to get to the bathroom. I use the restroom, wash my hands for exactly twenty seconds, and then brush my teeth for one hundred and twenty-seven seconds. I like numbers, I find them calming and reassuring. You can always count on numbers, they are dependable and constant. I like consistency. No, not like,
thrive
. I thrive on consistency. In a world that is always changing it’s nice to have something consistent to always rely on.

For most of my life that constant was my best friend, Rosaline Thatcher. No matter how many kids teased her for being friends with me, she was always there; she never left. Until today. I understand why she has to go, I even respect her for it, but that doesn’t change the fact I resent change. I could never resent her, she is my angel. The fact she has to leave and my world has to change—that I resent. People are undependable, they are always changing…numbers stay the same. I count my steps back to the bedroom. Numbers don’t change. As a child I diagnosed myself as being on the Autism spectrum. My father was skeptical, though once I showed him the symptoms he took me in to have me tested. The result came as no surprise since I already knew. The doctor told us people with Aspergers, people on the Autism spectrum, don’t like change, can be awkward in social situations, and can also have brilliant minds. Ha, tell me something I don’t know.

The only thing that’s ever really hindered me are the social aspects of life. I think liking consistency is a good thing; more people should try it. As far as the brilliance goes, I can’t see how that can be a bad thing, though the social aspects never get any better. I got used to the odd looks, staring, and whispering behind my back. None of those things really bother me because I take into account their I.Q., and once I compare it to mine, I feel sorry for them. The hardest for me is not knowing how to communicate with people. I say exactly how I feel and what I think at any given moment, which apparently is socially unacceptable. Why, I’ll never understand. At least people know where they stand with me at all times. People say they want the truth, but apparently they want it delivered covered in fairy dust and tied in a bow. Roz says I suck at delivery.

I hear the front door shut and know Roz left. I don’t like good-byes, not to mention I’m horrible at them. Roz knows this about me and won’t be offended I didn’t come to see her out. I left a note in her room last night while she was asleep. I even made her another pet rock and left it next to the note. I decide to leave early as well so I can get the rest of the work done that I need to do in order to launch the new program. I usually walk with Molly and Dex, but today is already thrown off, so why wait? I grab my things and head out the door for my short walk to work, counting my steps as I go along; numbers never change.