All He Ever Dreamed (12 page)

“This pizza’s amazing,” she said, changing the subject. “I’d give anything for a good takeout place in Whitford.”

“Yeah, buying a frozen pizza from Fran and taking it home to microwave isn’t the same at all. I have to say, being able to have almost any food delivered is one of my favorite things about living here, and Ryan’s starting to wonder if I’ll ever cook again.”

A few minutes later, Ryan pulled the trash bag out of the can and gestured for Lauren to grab the pizza box they’d emptied. “Can you get that, Lauren? We’ll be right back, guys.”

After they disappeared through the side door into the garage, Katie laughed and shook her head. “That bag wasn’t even full and he could have carried that box himself. They just want to make out for a few minutes.”

Josh stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist so he could nuzzle her neck. “Nothing wrong with making out.”

She shivered and pressed her back against his chest. “They won’t be long.”

“Then we’d better make out fast.” He spun her around and kissed her, his hands traveling up her waist to cup her breasts.

She pushed his hands away because there wasn’t time for rounding that base, but wrapped her arms around his neck so he wouldn’t stop kissing her.

“You taste like pepperoni pizza,” he murmured against her mouth. “I like it.”

He showed her how much, kissing her until she was tempted to lock Ryan and Lauren out of their own house and have her way with Josh in one of the guest rooms. At least they had beds.

When there was a scuffing sound outside the door, though, Josh broke away. And by the time Ryan and Lauren got through the door, both a little flushed, Josh had his back to Katie, taking another slice of pizza out of the box they hadn’t finished off.

Because she knew her face was probably as red as Lauren’s, both from the kisses and Josh’s sudden pulling away, Katie turned to the sink and took her time running the water cold from the tap and filling a glass.

After guzzling the water, hoping it would cool her off, she filled the glass again. She wasn’t holding out for proclamations of love and a diamond ring, but she wasn’t going to be anybody’s dirty little secret, either.

* * *

When it came time to get back in the truck for the ride back to Maine, Katie got a little teary-eyed leaving Lauren. Even though she’d been in Brookline for a while, somehow her house in Whitford being empty made the move more real. “We’re going to miss you at movie night.”

“I’ll miss you, too. But I’ll be dragging Ryan back to Whitford more often and we can watch movies at the lodge together.”

Katie nodded, even though in the back of her mind, she was wondering if Lauren remembered she didn’t actually
live
at the lodge. Not that she couldn’t drop by and watch a movie if they planned it ahead of time, but somehow she didn’t think that’s what Lauren meant.

After going to the nearest drive-through for coffee, Josh hit the highway and Katie settled in for the long ride back. She was determined to stay awake this time if it killed her. Maybe she’d even offer to drive, although all of the Kowalski men had severe issues with riding shotgun. They weren’t very good at turning over the steering wheel.

Josh reached over and turned down the radio. “Ryan asked me about us.”

He didn’t have to get more specific than that. She knew what he meant. “What did you say?”

“I’m not going to lie to him. There’s no reason to do that, and it’s not like we’re doing anything wrong, right?”

“It sure seems like you think we are,” Katie admitted. “Christmas morning, it was obvious you didn’t want Mom to know, and you kept your distance from me today, too, except when nobody was looking.”

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a few seconds, then blew out a breath. “I know what’s going to happen when Rose finds out, Katie. She’s going to jump to the same conclusion Ryan did—that everybody else is going to.”

“What conclusion is that?” she asked, though she suspected she already knew. Probably the same one Lauren had jumped to.

“Ryan asked me if this thing between us changes my plans for the lodge. You know Rosie will be even worse.”

“I really wish we weren’t having this conversation doing seventy-five miles an hour up the highway,” she muttered.

“I didn’t mean to. I think about things while I drive and it kind of came out of my mouth.”

And it was easier for him to have meaningful conversations when he was behind the wheel, because it wasn’t as intense as a face-to-face discussion. That wasn’t a new thing for him.

“You know you and the lodge are separate for me, right?” he asked, glancing over at her for a second before turning his attention back to the road. “I mean, I like being with you, but it doesn’t change how I feel about the lodge and Whitford.”

In other words,
we’re
having
a
good
time
but
at
the
first
opportunity
,
I’m
going
to
run
like
my
ass
is
on
fire
and
not
look
back
.

“I know that, Josh. This is me, remember? Katie? I know you.” When she saw his hands relax on the steering wheel, she realized just how much tension the situation was causing him.

She’d be lying if she said it didn’t hurt that he needed to clarify that having sex with her hadn’t made him want to settle down with her and start filling the lodge with babies. Even though she’d known going in that this was how it was going to be, Josh had always been her dream. What she needed to remember, and what would be all too easy to forget, was that Josh had a very different dream.

“I hope you realize,” she said, “that there’s no way my mom doesn’t know.”

That made him laugh. “I’m pretty sure Rosie knows everything.”

“So why the song and dance? I don’t like feeling like a dirty secret, Josh.”

His smile faded. “It’s not that at all, Katie. Rose just has a lot more emotionally invested, which means it’s a lot harder to tell her that whatever she’s imagining probably isn’t going to happen.”

Despite knowing it wasn’t healthy emotionally, Katie latched onto that
probably
like it was the last life preserver on a sinking boat. It was no doubt a throwaway word to him, but it left the door open just a crack. Maybe whatever her mother was imagining—and odds were it included grandchildren—
would
happen.

She forced herself to keep her tone light. “I think it would be easier for us to just enjoy what we have if we weren’t sneaking around and hiding in barns.”

“I kind of like the barn.”

“It wasn’t a complaint.” She’d had a very good time in the barn, too. “We can still sneak out there if we want. But I don’t like playing games. It is what it is, and people knowing that is better than speculation. And getting Mom’s hopes up.”

“You’re probably right. You should tell her.”

“Wait—
I
should tell her? While you do what? Pretend you have to change the oil in your snowmobile again?”

“Hey! I change the oil in my sled.”

She gave him a stern look. “Not as often as you say you do.”

“Not as often as you’ll be washing my truck.”

She snorted. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

He turned the radio back up and scanned through the stations until he found guys talking sports. Within a few minutes, Josh was muttering at the guys under his breath. Katie smiled and turned to watch the miles fly past her window, their equilibrium restored.

Chapter Twelve

Six in the morning came early on Saturday, and Katie padded down to the kitchen as quietly as she could in search of coffee. She could smell it, and she knew Josh would have a pot already in the carafe to stay warm while a second pot brewed.

The barbershop usually opened at six on Saturdays, so getting to sleep in should have been a treat. She’d known when she’d made the decision to stay at the lodge that their guests wouldn’t be happy to hear her Jeep fire up at five-thirty on their vacation weekend mornings. Rather than risk upsetting the apple cart, she was opening at eight for the time being. To compensate for the later mornings, she was staying open until four instead of two on weekday afternoons, along with a full Saturday instead of half days. The hours were just different enough to mess with her internal clock.

Josh smiled when he saw her and gave her a good-morning kiss before pouring her a cup of coffee. “How’d you sleep?”

They’d been creative last night and had a very quiet quickie in the shower, so she’d actually gone to bed at a reasonable hour. But somebody else might not have. “Did you hear what I heard this morning?”

He winced. “I was hoping you didn’t. And that I was imagining things.”

She hadn’t imagined the sound of Andy Miller’s snoring coming from her mother’s bedroom. Even at her most congested, Rose didn’t snore like a chainsaw in desperate need of some bar oil.

Katie wasn’t awake enough yet to analyze how she felt about Andy being in her mother’s bed, but that situation did lead to another that had been on her mind lately. “I guess Mom’s feeling a lot better.

He nodded, sipping coffee and watching her over the rim of his cup. She’d put off bringing up the subject because her interlude at the Northern Star had been a lot more enjoyable than she’d anticipated. But writing out the checks to pay utility bills for an apartment she wasn’t using and doing the end-of-the-month accounting for the barbershop had been a strong reminder her real life was on hold.

“I don’t think she needs me here anymore,” she continued. “It’s been almost a month and she’s hardly even coughing anymore. She seems as healthy as she was before the first bout.”

“I agree. Though I do think you’ve gotten exceptionally good at doing laundry and, since you carry your own baskets, you should keep doing that for her.”

“Funny. Anyway, I was thinking I’d stay through New Year’s Eve because I may as well round out the holidays here, but I think I should move my stuff back to my place Tuesday night so I can open the barbershop on the second at its regular hours.”

When he nodded again, she felt a quick pang of disappointment. Logically she knew he wasn’t going to ask her to stay with him and, even if he did, she probably wouldn’t. Yet. But a little show of reluctance to let her go would be nice.

“You’re going to do the laundry after everybody checks out Tuesday morning before you leave, right?”

She gasped and tried to punch him in the arm, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her close. The muffled sound of voices alerted them to impending guests, but he gave her a hard kiss before letting go of her. “Maybe I can come to your place and we can actually have sex in a bed.”

“I might let you in, if you ask nicely.”

“Although, as good as a bed sounds, remind me to tell you my fantasy about me, you and the groomer someday.”

Nothing like greeting virtual strangers in the kitchen with a flaming-red face. The guests were all dressed and eager to get out on the trails, though, so their intrusion was more like a chaotic hit-and-run that left a trail of muffin crumbs and dirty coffee cups in its wake.

It swept Josh out the door, though, since once of the guys wanted his opinion on a suspension issue, and within fifteen minutes Katie found herself alone in the kitchen. She was tempted to leave the mess for her mom. If she was well enough to have a slumber party with Andy, she was well enough to wash coffee cups.

But she didn’t feel right letting them sit for her mom to take care of, and the mess would look bad if any of the guests came back through the kitchen so, after glancing at the clock, she filled the sink with hot, soapy water. She could wash them and get out before having an awkward moment with her mother.

She wasn’t quick enough, though, and her mom shuffled in before Katie made it out the back door. Rose kissed her cheek and then popped a mug of water into the microwave for her tea.

Her mom looked awake enough for a conversation so, after rinsing the last mug and pulling the plug, Katie dried her hands and leaned against the counter. “Josh and I talked this morning and we both agree you’re pretty much back on your feet, so I’m going to move back home Tuesday night. I want to open the barbershop on its regular schedule post-New Year’s Day. Get the year off on the right foot.”

Rosie’s lips tightened, and Katie could see the wheels turning in her mother’s head. “And Josh thinks that’s a good idea?”

She recognized the roundabout way of finding out if Josh had asked her to stay. “Of course he does. He runs a business, so he recognizes that I have a business to run, too. You know he’d never expect me to let mine suffer just to help him out.”

“The barbershop isn’t that far from here. You’ve been driving back and forth since I came home from the hospital.”

“On part-time hours,” Katie reminded her. “Mom, I’m not staying here.”

Rose sighed. “I’d been hoping that maybe plans had changed.”

“Nobody’s plans have changed, Mom. Especially his.” It was best to be upfront about that. Well, as upfront as she could be without specifically referencing the fact that she and Josh were having sex. Luckily, she knew she didn’t need to, just as her mother didn’t. They both knew what was going on, so there didn’t need to be a potentially embarrassing conversation.. “Now, I have to run or I’ll find a pissed-off, half-frozen old buck standing on the sidewalk waiting for a haircut.”

“Have a good day, honey.”

Katie fired up her Jeep with a sigh of relief. She’d made it out before her mother was forced into the awkward position of either explaining why she was heating two mugs of water or leaving poor Andy upstairs with no caffeine.

Josh stepped out of the barn to wave goodbye and she waved back before heading down the driveway. It was such a comfortable, domestic moment, she couldn’t hold back the smile as she drove into town.

Maybe Katie’s moving home wouldn’t be as bad for her relationship as her mom feared. Josh could sneak over to her place while Andy “kept an eye” on Rosie. The town could be a problem, though. The Northern Star was far enough off the beaten track to offer a little privacy. If Josh’s truck was in the overnight lot between the barbershop and the consignment store for children’s stuff for an entire night, all of Whitford would be planning their wedding by dawn.

She didn’t really care what people said. But, as she turned onto the paved road and hit the gas, she wondered if Josh would. Every subtle hint about marriage would strike him as a not-so-subtle reminder he was expected to spend the rest of his life doing what he was doing now instead of normal small-town gossip.

As Katie parked her Jeep in the lot beside the barbershop, she decided there was nothing she could about other people’s reactions. They couldn’t camouflage Josh’s truck, so she’d just hope the people of Whitford dug deep and discovered the concept of discretion.

Laughing out loud, she unlocked the barbershop and prepared to start her day.

* * *

Josh usually loved guests who were up and checked out at the butt crack of dawn on Sunday. For them, it was a matter of getting a head start on a long ride home. For him, it meant stripping the beds, spraying down the bathrooms, emptying the trash cans and still making it to Max’s for a football game. The more thorough cleaning wouldn’t get done until Monday.

This Sunday was a little different, though, because Monday was New Year’s Eve. All their guests would be taking advantage of the long weekend and not leaving until Tuesday morning. The Patriots would play at one o’clock, which meant the guests would all be out on the trails, racking up the miles, but he wouldn’t be able to stay at Max’s for the late game. Once evening came, he liked to know who had or hadn’t gotten back safely yet.

It sucked that Katie wasn’t going to be here today. When he mentioned the one-o’clock game, she had sworn she’d thought the Patriots’ game was the later one and had made plans with Hailey. On the flipside, he still had a bet to win and her not being around might be an advantage for him.

Max was in the kitchen alone when Josh walked through his door, and it struck him as the perfect opportunity to get a leg up in the quest for Katie’s car-washing services. “Hey, Max. How’s it going?”

“Good. Just looking for some mustard. Mike brought pretzels and I like mustard on them, but I can’t find the bottle I
know
I just bought.”

“You know, you and I should get together for lunch sometime. Grab a burger at the diner or something.” Max stopped rummaging through the cupboard to look at him. “I enjoy hanging out with you, but we’re always here and there’s a game on. It’d be cool to talk about something other than sports, know what I mean?”

“Not really. I’m not very good at small talk.”

Okay, so Crawford was a tough nut to crack. “Just a thought. I’m usually busy on the weekends, and I guess you probably have to work on the weekdays anyway, huh?”

“Yeah. How come Katie’s not here yet?”

And, right on schedule, the subject change. The guy was definitely doing it on purpose. “She’s not coming today. Something else going on, I guess.”

“I hear you two are a thing now.”

“A thing?” Josh shrugged. It was as good a word as any. “I guess we’re a thing, yeah.”

“It’s about time. I thought I was going to have to talk her into kissing me in front of the television or something just to get you riled up.”

Maybe he didn’t want to have lunch with Max Crawford after all, even to win a bet. The idea of Katie kissing some other guy made Josh’s stomach churn and it was all he could do to keep his hands from curling into fists.

The surge of jealousy took him off guard. He’d seen Katie kiss a guy before. They’d even gone out as a group when he and Katie were both seeing other people. But now the thought of Katie kissing Max, even if they were just trying to make him jealous, raised his blood pressure.

“I’m glad I didn’t have to resort to that,” Max continued. “Katie’s a sweet girl, but she’s all yours. Has been as long as I’ve known her.”

Josh nodded and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, but he kept replaying those words in his mind as he walked back to the couch. He’d thought maybe living under the same roof had sparked the fire between him and Katie, but even well before Rosie got sick, he’d been an idiot not to catch the hints here and there that Katie’s feelings for him weren’t platonic.

The day he’d had lunch with Mitch, Josh had been worried about falling in love with Katie. He’d never stopped to realize she might already be in love with him.

But he was certain he would have known if that were true. They’d spent so much time together, and there was no way she was that good an actress. If Katie had been thinking steamy thoughts about him before Christmas Eve, she couldn’t have hidden it from him. It looked like Whitford suffered from the same overactive imagination, with a dash of wishful thinking, that Rose did.

Josh had just gotten comfortable when he looked up and saw Katie. She had a bottle of water in one hand and she grabbed a handful of chips before she settled herself in the corner.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I came to watch the game, like I always do.” He scowled and she rolled her eyes at him. “Oh, what? Now that we sleep together, I’m supposed to stay home and make you a sandwich?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You told me you were doing something with Hailey today, so I was surprised to see you. No big deal.”

“Change of plans.”

It was their first time at Max’s since Christmas Eve, and he wasn’t really sure how he should act. Or how
she
expected him to act. She didn’t want to feel like a dirty secret, but that didn’t mean she necessarily wanted a public display of affection here at Max’s house, either.

To test the waters, he twisted around to face her and rested his hand on her knee. “What happened with Hailey?”

“She wanted me to help her do some winterizing, which she obviously put off too long, but she stayed up half the night watching some dumb movie marathon and she canceled on me. So now I get to be here with you, instead.”

When she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his mouth, he squeezed her knee. That answered that question.

Butch stirred in the recliner and muttered, “It’s about goddamn time.”

* * *

Katie saw the opportunity to make her move during the third quarter. Max went into the kitchen for more drinks and, since Josh had nodded off, she eased herself off the couch and followed. Whether or not Josh was her boyfriend—and she wasn’t holding her breath for that kind of definitive label from him—a bet was a bet and she intended to win.

“How was your holiday, Max?” she asked when they were alone in the kitchen. “Did you go somewhere for Christmas?”

“I went home to Connecticut to see my parents.”

“Connecticut, huh? How’d you end up in Maine? Was it for work?” When he gave her a look that clearly said
really
? she knew she’d overplayed her hand. Again. She wasn’t very good at subtle interrogation.

“What’s with you two today? You’re both acting more openly nosy than usual.”

Katie laughed, knowing they were busted. “Josh and I have a bet going about who can find out what you do for work first. Loser washes the other’s vehicle once a month for a year.”

Max chuckled. “I thought it was a well-established fact in Whitford that I’m a serial killer.”

“You know about that?”

“Of course I do.”

“So why don’t you say something?” It was weird to let a town think you were killing people in your basement rather than name your job.

“Because it amuses me. And I’m waiting to see how long it takes for somebody to point out that serial murder isn’t really a sustainable career choice. How would that make me money?”