All He Ever Dreamed (17 page)

Because it was a little tricky navigating the machinery down the trail leading away from the clubhouse, Katie was quiet, which gave her mind plenty of time to wander.

I
guess
you
must
officially
be
my
girlfriend
now
.

Even though it was a dumb thing to say, since his picking up the entire check did not a relationship make, there had been something in his eyes that made her wonder if he was talking about more than not going Dutch. As if not selling the lodge meant he was resigned to staying, so he might as well make his relationship with her official.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. On the one hand, she knew Josh wasn’t the best when it came to talking about feelings. His feelings about the Red Sox taking the pennant next year? He’d talk about that all day long and half the night. But his feelings about anything personal or intimate were generally not up for discussion.

On the other hand, as she’d told Hailey, she didn’t want to be a consolation prize. It felt like she’d come in second in a contest, then had been pronounced champion by default when the real winner was disqualified. It was silly, but part of her would probably always wish he’d had to actually step up and deliberately choose her.

“You’re awfully quiet over there.”

She shrugged. “I’m resting my voice so I can sing for you later.”

“I’ll be the first guy in the history of the club to run himself over with the groomer.”

“I’m not that bad. Give me something to talk about.”

“Andy and your mom.”

She groaned. “I’d rather not.”

“What’s the matter? I thought you were okay with Andy?”

“I am.” And she sincerely was. “It’s just weird, talking about my mom being in a romantic relationship with somebody. I don’t think she ever dated after my dad died. Not until Andy started visiting.”

“I don’t think she did, either. but I like him. He’s a good guy.”

“If she’s happy, I’m happy.”

Josh laughed. “If Rosie’s happy, we’re
all
happy.”

After Josh got quiet for a few minutes while steering the groomer through a particularly winding stretch of trail, they talked about the Celtics for a while and griped about the price of gas. By the time three hours had passed, they’d gone through most of their standard conversation topics and half of Rosie’s pies.

Katie was getting bored. And she was also thinking more and more about what she and Josh could be doing in the groomer besides flattening snow. Those thoughts were making her antsy and she was having trouble keeping up her end of the conversation.

“Okay, so no interest in the new NASCAR rules going into effect this year,” he said, and she realized he’d been talking to her. “What do
you
want to talk about?”

“Maybe you should tell me a little more about that fantasy of yours. The one with you and me and the groomer.” She could tell by the way he jerked his head to look at her and then shifted in his seat that it was probably a good one. “Isn’t there a wide spot in the trail just a little further up?”

“Yeah.” His voice sounded hoarse and he cleared his throat. “The trail’s narrower than usual through here, so if there’s night traffic, sleds can bottleneck behind the groomer. They cut in the pull-off so the groomer operator has room to let them go around.”

“I haven’t seen any night riders, but maybe we should take a little break. You can tell me all about it.”

By the time they reached the pull-off and Josh maneuvered the equipment off the trail, Katie was already flush with anticipation. Not only did she know she was really going to enjoy this portion of her ride-along, but there was something almost naughty about it. While it wasn’t exactly outside in the woods, it was pretty damn close.

“You’re going to need to take those jeans off before you climb over here,” Josh said the second the groomer had come to a complete stop.

“Jeez, doesn’t a woman get a little foreplay?”

“Thinking about it all night doesn’t count?” He snorted. “You are such a girl. I’ll kiss you first. How’s that?”

“You are such a guy.”

She did end up kicking off her boots and wiggling out of her jeans without foreplay, but only for logistical reasons. The cab was small and, instead of a bench seat, there were basically two captain’s chairs smooshed side by side. Trying to turn herself so she could get over to his lap without hitting her head or pressing any of the control buttons with her ass required a level of flexibility she didn’t have.

And the bastard was laughing at her.

“This is
your
fantasy,” she snapped. “How the hell did you picture this working?”

“I think you’re more flexible in my imagination.”

She would have hit him, but her arm being braced against the dash was all that was keeping her face from bouncing off the steering wheel. “Maybe you should imagine how you’re going to get that condom on
after
I’m in your lap.”

“This was a lot sexier when the real you wasn’t actually involved, just so you know.”

“I already took my jeans off, so we’re doing it.”

“If you leave an ass print on the inside of the windshield, I’m putting that in my report.”

She really wanted to flip him off. “If I wasn’t stuck right now, I’d get out and walk home.”

He finally took pity on her and gently rearranged her, supporting her when necessary, until she was straddling his lap. It was a tight squeeze, getting her knees on either side of his thighs, but they managed.

“Better?” he asked, amusement still making his eyes sparkle.

She was hot, flustered and was probably going to ache in a dozen places tomorrow, but she could feel the hard ridge of his erection through her panties and that made it worth the less-than-graceful effort. “Much.”

Especially when he kissed her, his hand sliding up into her hair to hold her close. He nipped at her bottom lip and she sighed against his mouth. When his other hand slid between her legs, she moaned and kissed him harder, sweeping her tongue across his.

She rocked against his hand, but it wasn’t enough. “How the hell are we supposed to get
your
pants off now?”

He smiled and reached between them to undo his fly and his zipper. “Raise up a little.”

When she did, he lifted his hips and slid his jeans down enough so he could roll on the condom he’d stuck in his sweatshirt pocket.

“Must be nice,” she muttered, wondering how she was supposed to get
her
jeans back on without getting out of the groomer.

“No, this is nice.” He slid his hand under the elastic of her panties and stroked her until she was panting and growled his name in frustration.

Only then did he pull the fabric to one side and slide into her. She braced her hands against his shoulders as she moved her hips, taking him in inch by inch. Finally she’d taken him all and Josh threw his head back with a groan as she started to rock.

“Is this how your fantasy went?” she asked, nipping at his jaw.

“This is better,” he said, his voice husky as he slid his hands under her shirt.

She quickened her pace as he ran his thumbs over her nipples, and his ragged breaths told her he was close to the edge. She rode him harder and he moved his hands to her hips, his fingertips pressing into her skin as he guided her.

The orgasm hit her fast and hard, and she gasped as he thrust hard upward, finding his own release. She moved against him, grinding, until the tremors faded.

“That was…a very nice fantasy,” she said when they’d finally caught their breath.

“One of my favorites. And I think, by the time the windows are defogged, we might have figured out how to get your jeans back on.”

In the end, it was easiest to get out of the groomer. She stood in the freezing cold and managed to pull her foot out of her boot, then shove it through the leg of the jeans and back into the boot without falling over. Then she had to repeat it for the other leg. By the time she ran around the groomer and climbed back into her seat, she was half-frozen.

Josh handed her one of her mom’s little apple pies with the foil already partially peeled back. “I think we’re going to have to act out this particular fantasy more often.”

“Yeah, we need the practice.”

He paused in the act of folding back the foil on his own pie to grin at her. “You know what would make it easier? If you wore that black dress.”

“I think you need a new fantasy.”

“You’re the fantasy, Katie. The rest is just the setting.”

Warmth curled through her insides, and she was smiling when she bit into the apple pie. Maybe they
should
go out in the groomer more often.

* * *

Rose snuggled closer to Andy and he squeezed her. “Cold?”

“Nope.” The down-alternative comforter Josh had bought her for Christmas several years back, and given to her wrapped around her yarn store gift certificate, was far too warm for her to get chilled in bed. That and the body heat.

An old black-and-white Western was playing on the television, but she wasn’t really watching it. The movie had been his choice, not hers, but she didn’t really care what they watched when he cuddled with her like this. She’d missed cuddling a lot.

“I hope the kids are doing okay,” she said during a commercial, because her mind had turned to them instead of focusing on the cowboys. “I always get nervous when they’re out in the groomer all night in the middle of the woods in the freezing cold. So many things could go wrong.”

“The club spares no expense when it comes to maintaining that equipment and I know Josh gives it a thorough inspection before he takes it out on the trail, because I’ve seen him do it. And they’re together.”

“It’s a good opportunity for them to talk.”

He laughed. “Not much else to do when you’re putting through the woods at eight miles an hour.”

“I hope they have enough food. And they’re going to drink too much coffee. It’s not good for their stomachs, especially since Katie’s only going to sleep for a couple of hours before she opens the barbershop.”

“You worry too much, Rose.”

“Do not. Besides, what else am I going to do?”

“You could talk to me instead.”

Rose knew he didn’t mean for her to talk to him about the kids. He wanted to talk about
them
. She’d known it was coming, but she was still trying to sort through just how she felt about Andy Miller.

“I don’t think what we have here is just casual anymore,” he continued.

“It may have started as casual, but this part—you being here with me right now—was never casual. I’m not a casual kind of woman.”

“I didn’t think you were. But you’re also not a woman who wears her emotions on her sleeve, either. It’s hard for me to know where I stand with you.”

She rolled onto her side so her head rested on his shoulder. “I’ve only ever told one man I loved him and I was married to him for a good part of my life. I’m not quite ready to say it again.”

“I’m a patient guy.” He kissed the top of her head. “All I need is a little encouragement that we’re headed in that direction.”

“Consider yourself encouraged, then. I like your company, Andy, and I’d like to have more of it. I know you rent your place, and it doesn’t really make sense for you to keep running back and forth between here and there. Unless you prefer it that way.”

“Are you asking me to move in with you, Rose Davis?”

She laughed, feeling a little bit scandalous. “I guess I am.”

“I’d like that.”

“I have to talk to Josh first,” she said. “When push comes to shove, the kids own this house and I work for them.”

“Your relationship with them could never be described as just that.” He took his arm from around Rose so he could prop himself up on it and see her face. “Before you talk to him, though, I have a thought I’d like to run by you.”

She listened to what he had to say, then took a deep breath. “I need to think about that, Andy. I need to see how things are. Promise me you won’t say anything to him right away.”

“Not until you tell me it’s okay. Nobody knows those kids like you do.”

Chapter Seventeen

On Saturday morning, after making sure all his guests got out on the trails okay, Josh drove over to Mitch and Paige’s house. Mitch had business travel looming on his horizon and he wanted to finish the home office before he left so his time at home could be spent with his wife and not remodeling.

The rest of the house had been finished in a hurry so Paige could host Thanksgiving, but they’d been putting off the home office. Now, with the clock ticking, Mitch had asked Josh and Drew for help.

By the time he got there, Drew had already arrived. They were still in the kitchen when Josh walked in, and he held up his hands. “I thought there was work to be done.”

“Just waiting on you, as usual.” Mitch led the way down the hall and into a large room that had great windows looking out over the yard.

It also had fresh paint over new Sheetrock and trim, and new switches, outlets and plates. Even the light fixtures were in place. “I thought you needed help finishing this room.”

“Wait until you see the garage.”

“This can’t be good,” Drew muttered, but they both followed Mitch back through the house and out the side door into the garage.

There was an army of massive cardboard boxes in front of them, all with photos of a different piece of office furniture pasted on the sides.

“Oh, hell no,” Josh said. “This is above and beyond, Mitch. And you know it, too. That’s why you didn’t tell us up front.”

“You can’t put together furniture?” Mitch gestured at the boxes. “They all come with directions. And there are pictures even.”

“You couldn’t just go buy shit at the furniture store so they’d deliver it all put together?” Drew asked.

“Paige saw this stuff online and fell in love with it. It was less expensive than some of the stuff I looked at, so I told her to order it.”

Josh snorted. “It’s less expensive because it’ll take you three days and a bottle of Valium to put it all together.”

“Or three guys only one day.”

“Jesus, Mitch.” Josh hated this stuff. It was like doing a big, heavy 3-D jigsaw puzzle that required tools.

“I’ll beg if I have to,” Mitch told him. “When they started rolling these cartons off the delivery truck, I lost all my pride.”

“How do you start and build a successful business blowing up buildings and not know better than to order assemble-yourself office furniture. A small bookcase is okay in a pinch, but that big-ass box over there has a picture of a desk on it.”

“There are two,” Mitch admitted. “His and hers desks.”

Josh and Drew both stayed silent, staring at the line of boxes.

“It’s for my wife,” Mitch said. “If I don’t get these done, she might try to finish building them while I’m away and hurt herself.”

Josh laughed. “Really? That’s low, even for you.”

“I told you I’m not above begging.”

“Fine.” Josh threw up his hands in surrender. “Which one are we doing first?”

“The bookcases. They take up the most floor space to build, but the least amount of room space while building other stuff,” Drew said. They both looked at him and he shrugged. “Mallory loved this shit.”

Josh and Mitch each grabbed an end of a bookshelf box while Drew held the door. When Josh passed by him, he paused for a second. “How’s that going, anyway?”

“The divorce is final. I’m now officially a middle-aged guy with no wife, no kids and a killer loan so I could buy Mal’s half of the house.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

Their marriage had ended right around the time Mitch and Paige had gotten together and, looking back, it was hard to say which had created the bigger buzz around town.

Shortly after their tenth wedding anniversary, when Drew had pushed, Mallory had confessed she not only didn’t want children, but she never had. It had gone downhill from there.

Once they got started building Paige’s furniture, it wasn’t as bad as Josh had feared it would be. They got a good rhythm going, almost like an assembly line, and managed not to jab any fake wooden corners through her new walls.

They were about halfway done when Drew brought up the subject Josh had managed to go almost an entire half day without hearing about.

“I was glad to hear you decided against selling the lodge, Josh.”

Josh focused on setting the screw in his hand in the right place before he responded, so he had time to moderate his tone. He kept telling himself people were bound to get it out of their systems at some point. “Yeah. It was the right thing to do.”

“I’ve got a lot of memories of the Northern Star myself, since I was always running around with Mitch.”

Josh remembered. Sometimes it seemed like everybody had memories of the lodge, or at least a good reason for him not to sell it. Of course, none of them wanted to
run
it, but everybody was glad he’d be sticking around to take care of what was important to them.

“I saw one of the rooms down the hall is empty,” he said, because changing the subject was something he was becoming very good at. “If you buy assemble-at-home furniture for whatever that room’s going to be, it’ll be assemble-alone furniture.”

“That’s going to be the baby’s room.” Josh and Drew both stopped what they were doing to stare at him. “When she gets pregnant, which she’s not. Yet.”

“But soon, huh?” Drew asked.

“That’s up to Mother Nature.” Mitch grinned. “We’re certainly doing our part to make it happen.”

“I don’t want to hear anything about sex,” Drew muttered. “From either of you.”

Josh went back to what he was doing, which was trying to tell if he was holding the board he needed and the instructions in the same direction. He had to admit, sex was the one thing he had going for him.

Maybe it would snow again soon and they could make another groomer run. He’d take any perk of the job he could get.

* * *

Katie made a whooping sound and laid down her cards. “Gin!”

Muttering a curse, Josh threw his cards on the table and pushed more of his M&M’S across the table. She had almost all the chocolate now.

“You’re not really paying attention,” she said, since she’d been thinking it most of the evening.

“This isn’t the game I want to be playing with you right now.”

“If you’d come to my place instead of me coming here, we wouldn’t be playing gin rummy for M&M’S.”

“I might have, but the couple staying in room two are not only new to the trail system, but new to snowmobiles. I want to be here, where I can be reached and have easy access to my truck and trailer, just in case.” He gathered the cards and started shuffling them. “That’s how it is. Weekends I’m tied to the lodge and weekdays, when I have a little more freedom, everybody has to go to bed so they can work in the morning.”

This was one of those pissed-at-the-world days he’d told her about, she thought. And there wasn’t much she could do about it. “I heard you spent the day putting together Paige’s office furniture.”

He dealt the cards, scowling at the deck the whole time. “This town will talk about anything.”

“Always has.”

She was only a couple of cards away from taking the last of his M&M’S when the lodge phone rang. Frowning, Josh pushed back from the table to answer it just as Rose walked into the kitchen.

“I got it,” he told her.

Katie took advantage of the short reprieve from the game—and the fact her mom was there to guard her cards and chocolate—to head to the bathroom.

When she came back out, Josh was putting on his coat and boots. “I told you.”

“Room two? Are they okay?”

“Yeah. Just a little undereducated about important details like gas mileage. They’re not too far out, so I’m just going to meet them with the gas can.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, I won’t be very long, so there’s no sense in getting all bundled up.” He grabbed his keys off the hook and opened the door. “Don’t touch my M&M’S.”

Once he was gone, she might have cast a sideways glance at his tiny pile of chocolate, but her mother gave her a look and she didn’t touch them.

“I hardly get to spend any time alone with you anymore,” Rose said, taking silverware out of the drying rack to put in the drawer.

“Where’s Andy?”

“Helping Butch Benoit work on the transmission in Fran’s car. He said he’d probably be late, so he was just going to go straight home from there. But I want to talk about you. How have you been doing?”

Katie laughed. “I’m here half the time, Mom. You can see how I am.”

“Are you happy?”

The question hit her like a sucker punch and she sat down hard in her chair. Was she
happy
? “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. Just checking. I’m your mother, remember, so I’m supposed to keep track of these things.”

She was happy enough, but she had a feeling that answer wouldn’t satisfy her mom. The barbershop was doing well and she had Josh. Granted, things had been a little touchier since he’d turned down the offer on the lodge, but emotional upheaval did that to people.

Until he put it behind him, though, their relationship was treading water. They weren’t sinking, but they weren’t making any progress toward distant shores, either.

“It was rough on him, you know,” she said, because maybe she
did
want to talk to her mom. Not only was Rose her mother, but she knew Josh better than anybody else, too. “It’s going to take him some time to reconcile how much he
wanted
to leave with how much he
needed
to keep the lodge.”

Rose put her hand over Katie’s and leaned down to look at her face. “Do you think he can be happy here with you, honey?”

Katie saw the love and concern in her mother’s eyes and couldn’t lie. “I hope so, more than you can even imagine, but I really don’t know.”

* * *

Even though he woke in a much better mood than he’d gone to bed in, Josh didn’t shed any tears when the last guests—who were naturally the couple from room two, running an hour past checkout time—drove away.

After he stripped their room, which was the last one he had to do, he went into the kitchen to see what he could scrounge up for lunch. Then, as long as nothing went wrong between now and then, he was going to call Katie and try to drag her out for a ride on his sled with him. It wasn’t really built for two, but she’d just have to snuggle close.

He’d just finished demolishing his second bologna sandwich when Rose walked through carrying a basket of dirty towels. “Did they finally leave?”

“Yeah. I made a note next to their name in the book so if they come back, we can give them a little extra coaching.”

“Maybe we’ll be so busy next winter they won’t be able to get a room.”

Josh didn’t want to think about next winter. That was nothing but a reminder he’d still be here next winter. And the winter after that and the winter after that. And now, thanks to the ATV trail access coming together, it would be year round. It was a good thing. He knew that in a practical, logical way. But emotionally it made him tired.

“What’s the matter, hon?”

“Nothing.” He tried to shake it off while he dumped his plate in the trash.

“I know you’re still upset about the offer on—”

“Maybe I’m still upset about it because people won’t stop
talking
about it.
Hey
,
Josh
,
you
almost
escaped
,
but
you
didn’t
and
you
just
need
to
resign
yourself
to
that
. Maybe if everybody just let it drop, it would be a lot easier to forget.”

She shook her head, tears sparkling in her eyes, and he had to fight a sudden urge to bolt out the back door. “Escaped? Resigned? You’re more unhappy than you’re letting on.”

“I know you worry about me like a mom, Rosie, but you have to let me be.”

“I do worry about you like a mom. I also worry about my daughter.”

He reminded himself this was Rosie and managed not to raise his voice. “I’m doing the best I can to be what everybody needs me to be.”

“What about what
you
want to be?” she demanded, and she didn’t seem to have any trouble raising
her
voice.

“I don’t
know
what I want to be, dammit.” He stopped, inhaling what he hoped was a calming breath. “No, that’s not right. I do know what I want to be. I want to be happy. I want Katie to be happy. And that scares the hell out of me because I don’t think I can do both.”

“You can’t make Katie happy until you’re happy, Josh. That’s how it works.”

“Please, Rose, just…” He grabbed his coat off the hook by the door. “I’m going for a ride. If Katie stops by, tell her I’ll call her later, okay?”

“You shouldn’t go out on the sled alone when you’re upset.”

“I’m not going to be stupid. I just need some space. Some quiet so I can try to get my head on straight and stop being an asshole to people who love me.”

When she smiled and kissed his cheek, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I’m trying, Rosie.”

“I know, Josh. Just remember everybody needs some help sometimes and you have people who love you, even when you’re being an asshole.”