Authors: Francis Ray
“Good night, and thanks.” Richard disconnected the phone and took a seat behind his desk. He hadn’t missed the reference to her mother’s matchmaking skills. Ruth Grayson had married off her five children just as she’d planned. He’d take all the help he could get. He still had a chance with Naomi, and this time, he’d make it count.
* * *
Naomi turned at the knock on the back door. Looking through the peephole, she saw Fallon and Kayla. Reluctantly, she opened the door. Kayla had a one-track mind when it came to something she wanted.
“Hey, you two.” Bending, she kissed Kayla. She had a no-good man for a father, and the man she looked up to, she couldn’t see again—all because of her mother’s incompetence.
“Mama, I can call Dr. Richard now. His clinic is closed.” Kayla started for the phone on the kitchen counter.
Naomi caught her by the arm before she had gone two feet. “You haven’t said good-bye to Fallon or thanked her.”
“I did, Mama, before she knocked on the door,” Kayla replied, staring up at her mother with impatience. “We gotta call him. I want to tell him about today and ask about the puppies.”
Naomi’s hand flexed. Shoving Richard out of her life also meant shoving him out of Kayla’s. Why did her daughter have to pay again for her mother’s mistakes?
“Kayla, you were going to show me the drawing you did in class,” Fallon said in the ensuing silence.
“I almost forgot. I’m going to give it to Dr. Richard.” She took off running for her bedroom.
Naomi didn’t even think of reprimanding her for running in the house. Instead she shut her eyes in gratitude for the brief reprieve.
“From the look on your face and not wanting to call Richard, you’ve made up your mind,” Fallon said softly.
“I have. It was doomed before it began.”
“Not if you don’t want it to be, Naomi. Give Richard a chance.”
“It’s better this way,” she answered. Richard would soon forget her. One day they might even be friends again. This way was better for both of them. He’d never realize she wasn’t a whole woman, and she wouldn’t have to live with the disappointment and distaste on his face.
She heard the sound of running footsteps, then Kayla’s excited voice. “Here it is! You think Dr. Richard will like it?”
Fallon squatted down to eye level, then carefully took the tablet offered her to study Kayla’s pencil drawing of the cover of
The Guardian.
‘It’s not the best one in my class, but my art teacher said the meaning and the heart in doing artwork is just as important,” Kayla pointed out.
Naomi felt the lump in her throat just as she had the first time she saw the painting. In
The Guardian,
a male member of the search party looking for the lost little girl in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains was the one who’d found her. In Kayla’s drawing, she’d added a man holding her hand with the wolf in the bushes watching them.
Naomi didn’t have to be a psychiatrist to realize Kayla wanted a father, and had placed Richard in that role. That wasn’t going to happen. Naomi would just have to fill Kayla’s life with so much love that she wouldn’t miss Richard.
“You did a great job, Kayla. He’ll like it,” Fallon said before pushing to her feet and going to the door.
“Wait for me,” Naomi instructed Kayla before joining Fallon. “Take care and thanks for everything.”
“We can finish the ice cream after Kayla goes to bed, if you’d like to talk,” Fallon offered.
“Some things just aren’t meant to be,” Naomi answered.
Mouthing
I’m sorry,
Fallon left.
Naomi took her time locking the door to give herself a few moments to compose herself before facing her daughter. A lump formed in her throat. She accepted that it was because of the realization that Richard was no longer going to be a part of their lives, and what it would mean to her daughter.
Not for the first time, she wished she had been strong enough mentally to hit back at her husband at least once, to let him know what it felt like to be hurt. But she’d been a coward and was paying the price. Again. And so was her daughter.
“Hurry, Mama. When I finish telling him about my day at school, do you think I should tell him about my drawing or wait until he comes to get me to go see the puppies?”
Kayla was so excited her words tripped over each other. This was going to be even harder than Naomi had imagined.
Sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, Naomi opened her arms. “Come here, sweetheart.” Her daughter’s hesitation was brief and telling. As soon as Kayla reached her mother, Naomi picked her up and hugged her.
“Do you think I could have one of those puppies? I’d take real good care of it.”
Naomi grabbed at the reprieve. She sat Kayla away from her and stared down into her face. “The apartment doesn’t allow pets, but I have a surprise for you. Sierra is going to be looking for a house for us. If she finds one, you’ll have a backyard and a swing set. I’ll think about getting you that puppy.”
Her eyes rounded. “A house for real?”
“For real.”
Kayla threw her arms around her mother’s neck. “You’re the best mother in the world.”
She was trying to be the mother Kayla needed, Naomi thought. However, there were times like now when she had no idea of what to do or say. She searched her mind to find a way to tell Kayla, who had excitement dancing in her eyes, that they wouldn’t be seeing Richard. She loved Richard, included him in her nightly prayers. Naomi knew he cared about Kayla as well. All but once—when she wanted to surprise Kayla with her own bedroom furniture—Kayla had been with them when they went anyplace.
“Mama, can we call Dr. Richard now?” Kayla asked impatiently.
Both of them had gotten used to speaking with him almost daily. “Not now, sweetheart. He’s a busy man. We shouldn’t take so much of his time.”
“But he doesn’t mind,” Kayla insisted. “You remember he told us that he was never too busy if we needed him. Just like Miss Catherine told us.”
Naomi wished for Catherine’s expertise as a child psychologist now. She relied on love as she stared down into her daughter’s expectant face. “I know, sweetheart, but we shouldn’t be selfish. Other people need him as well.”
Kayla’s lowered her head, her chin almost touching her chest. “I guess.”
Her heart breaking for her daughter, Naomi tried to smile. “Since you’re finished with your homework, we can watch one of your favorite movies.”
Kayla lifted her head, but her eyes remained sad. “Dr. Richard likes
Finding Nemo,
too.”
Naomi’s hands trembled. Although the Disney movie was an old one, Kayla’s kindergarten teacher had showed them the film. Kayla had immediately fallen in love with the father clownfish searching for his son Nemo, and Nemo trying to find a way home. Despite her father’s emotional abuse or perhaps because of it, Kayla wanted a father who would go to any lengths to find her, love her. Her drawing of Richard said as much.
It wasn’t going to happen.
“I love you, Kayla.”
Kayla’s arms immediately went around her mother’s neck. “I love you, too, Mama.”
But she wasn’t enough. Fighting the aching knowledge and the misery, Naomi stood with Kayla in her arms and started for the living room.
Chapter 8
Wednesday afternoon, Sierra knocked on Naomi’s door precisely at six thirty as they’d agreed. Naomi stood in the middle of the living room, her stomach in knots. Homeownership was a huge step. As much as she wanted a house for her and Kayla, a nagging doubt that she wasn’t ready for all the responsibilities it entailed kept circling her.
“It’s Mrs. Sierra.” Kayla straightened from shoving the curtain away from the front window. “She’s here to show us a house. I could get a puppy if we have a house.”
Her daughter hadn’t forgotten about the puppy, but at least she was smiling today. She’d moped around the house and at school for the past two days. She missed Richard. If Naomi were truthful, she’d admit to missing him as well.
Richard was rock-steady and had a way of making her feel she could do anything. With her heart beating out of control, she could certainly use some of his encouragement now. It wasn’t going to happen. She was on her own. She had to stiffen her spine and take control of her life.
Her shoulders straightening, she took a few calming breaths. It was past time she learned to stand on her own.
“Open the door, Mama,” Kayla urged. Since her father’s attempt to kidnap her, she no longer rushed to open the door—unless it was Catherine or Richard.
Naomi rubbed her damp palm down the side of her simple white sundress and finally opened the door. “Hi, Sierra.”
“Good afternoon, Naomi, Kayla,” Sierra greeted. “It’s a beautiful day to go house hunting.”
Kayla came to stand in front of Naomi. “When we find one, Mama says I might be able to have a puppy. Dr. Richard would help me find one.” Briefly she tucked her head. “I don’t think he’d be too busy.”
All Naomi could do was place her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Somehow she’d make it up to her.
“Neither do I,” Sierra said. “Richard is the kind of guy who would always be there for his friends.” She caught the initial excitement of Kayla but, on the other hand, her mother looked scared to death. With any other person Sierra might have reached out to reassure her; she wasn’t sure how Naomi would react. In her association she had seen the woman relax only a few times. And always Richard had been there.
“Did you change your mind about Richard coming with us?”
Naomi’s big brown eyes widened. “No. He’s busy.”
“But I told you, Mama, he said if we needed him, he’d come.”
Moistening her lips, Naomi caught Kayla’s hand. “Kayla, we’re not going to have this discussion again.”
The young child tucked her head. “Yes, ma’am.”
Naomi lifted hers, swallowed. “We’re ready when you are.”
“We’ll take my car.” Sierra stepped back outside. “There are three houses I want you to look at.”
Naomi released Kayla’s hand to lock the door, then tested the locks to ensure they were secure before turning to Sierra. “I know real estate is expensive in Santa Fe even with the recession. Like I told you, we don’t need much, but I want Kayla to have a backyard with a swing.”
“And a puppy.” Kayla’s head came up.
Sierra laughed. “It’s on my list. This way. I couldn’t find a spot closer.”
“That’s all right,” Naomi told her. “Residents and guests disregard the parking policy all the time.”
They were several feet from Sierra’s BMW SUV when a black truck pulled into the parking lot and came to a screeching halt behind Sierra’s vehicle. Before the driver could get out, two men came out of nowhere. One stepped in front of Sierra, the other converging on the driver’s side of the Dodge Ram.
Naomi sucked in her breath, grabbed for Kayla, but her daughter was already moving toward the truck. “Dr. Richard!”
Sierra rolled her eyes, and tried without success to step around Aaron’s wide frame. “Paul. Aaron. You know Richard and his truck.”
“He blocked you in. There could be someone crouched in the front seat or backseat.”
“Aaron—”
“We stand or I call Rio.”
Sierra blew out an irritated breath. And he’d call Blade. “Then check it out before you frighten my newest client.”
“Sorry, Mrs. Reese,” Aaron said, but he didn’t sound sorry. “Paul?”
“Clear,” the other man yelled.
Richard came around the front end of the truck, a hard frown on his face. “Sorry.”
Sierra noted he had eyes only for Naomi. He didn’t look any sorrier than Aaron had sounded. Richard she’d forgive.
“Dr. Richard.” This time Kayla managed to pull free and, with her arms already open and upraised, ran to him. His face changed in the blink of an eye, warmth and love filling it.
“How’s my best girl?” he asked, scooping up Kayla in his arms, the motion easy and practiced. Sierra smiled secretly. She just loved being right. Her mother wasn’t the only matchmaker in the family.
“I told Mama you weren’t too busy to come see us,” she said. “See, Mama.”
Naomi didn’t know what to do or say. Her heart rate shifted into overdrive. She didn’t want to care for him, get used to him. She didn’t want him to want her. Caring about a person too much meant being vulnerable. She was doing this for both of them.
“Hello, Richard,” Sierra greeted cheerfully. “I guess you were in the neighborhood and decided to stop by.”
“Yes. Hello, Naomi.”
Hearing her name on his lips shouldn’t make her want things better left unsaid. Naomi wanted to look away from him, but somehow she couldn’t. She deserved his condemnation, yet that wasn’t what she saw in his eyes. It was bewilderment, hurt. He should know better than anyone that she couldn’t be what he wanted.
“You just caught us,” Sierra said. “We were about to go look at houses.”
Naomi’s gaze jerked to Sierra. He’d want to go. He couldn’t.
Richard hated the fear and uncertainty in Naomi’s eyes. What gave him hope were the unguarded moments of happiness, and the frank female interest he’d seen in the past when she forgot to be scared and just enjoyed life. Those moments were precious few, and that’s why he treasured them so much.
Her bastard of an ex-husband had abused her, made her afraid to trust, but Richard was a patient man, perhaps too patient. He usually backed down when she was unsure because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but those days were long gone.
“I’m glad I caught you,” he said. “I told Naomi that you were the best.”
“I try,” Sierra said, then laughed.
Naomi swallowed. Her heart was thudding in her chest. She clenched the leather strap of her purse. Sierra and Fallon relished life while Naomi ran from it.
“Mama, you forgot to say hi to Dr. Richard,” Kayla chided, one arm around his neck, the other holding Teddy.
Naomi felt her face heat. “Hello, Richard.”
“You were going to let me go with you when Sierra took you to look at houses,” he reminded her. “Looks like I arrived just in time.”
Naomi’s gaze darted to him then away. The disappointment in his voice was worse than if he’d yelled at her—something he’d never do. But better that than either of them wanting something that could never be. “Kayla and I have taken enough of your time. I didn’t want to bother you.”