All the Wrong Reasons (19 page)

Amber’s face registered shock as her astonished eyes fell first on Lucas then on me.

“I mean…” Bailey stuttered.

I shook out of my trance as I removed my bag from Bailey’s hands. The damage was done and very soon, I wouldn’t have to hide anyway. Besides, Amber didn’t know I had a boyfriend. Why not?

“Thanks, Bailey,” I said. Hugging her, I whispered in her ear: “Don’t worry about it – it’s fine. It’s about time she realizes that he’s not available.”

Bailey eased back, a proud glint in her eyes. “Merry Christmas.” Waving, she hopped into her car.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to smile at the group behind me. “You ready?”

The slow grin that spread across Lucas’s mouth was perfect. He relieved me of my bag and tossed it in the back of his truck before opening the door. I slipped past him into the truck, him right behind me.

As we drove, my heart started pounding. What had I done? Would she somehow spread it around campus that Lucas and I were an item? Would Dustin find out? Or maybe she’d forget about it by the time the new term started. But it wouldn’t matter, though – I was going to break up with Dustin anyway.

“You okay, love?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah,” I said as I patted his leg. “Screw it, right? I’m tired of her always hanging on you.”

He chuckled as he eased his arm around my shoulders. “Good.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him how I felt and to let him in on my newest plan, but I didn’t say a word. I was ridiculously afraid that I’d jinx everything. “Um, so what did she want to talk to you about anyway?”

He laughed. “She wanted me to go to some party with her next weekend. I told her I had plans.”

When we got to his place, he carried everything inside and dropped it in his bedroom. Following, I tackled him to his bed.

“Whoa, love,” he laughed. “A little anxious, are we?”

“I missed you all week,” I said as I lay on top of him.

He brushed my hair behind my ears. “You don’t have to wait until Friday, you know. You can come over anytime you want.”

“I had finals this week, remember?”

“How’d you do?”

I shrugged. “I think I did well.”

He wrapped an arm around me, holding me against him as he scooted up toward the pillows. He kissed the tip of my nose. “What classes are you taking next term?”

I chatted freely about what I was taking and how excited I was about the new classes. We talked for nearly forty-five minutes before I realized that we hadn’t even undressed. But I liked how we could get lost in conversation and not just in the sheets. And I think he did, too, because when I finally yawned, he shifted me off of him so he could stand.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed?” he asked as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and kicked off his jeans.

I rolled off the bed to dig through my bag, looking for pajamas. Of course I didn’t pack any – never really needed them. Sighing, I smiled over my shoulder at him. I opened his top drawer where I knew he kept his t-shirts and grabbed one.

“You look so good in my clothes,” he said as I crawled over him. When he shut off the light, I snuggled into his side, trailing my fingers lightly over his bare chest. “So, will you come over Christmas night?”

“Yes,” I said as my eyes started to droop. “Somehow I’ll be here.”

“Don’t cause any trouble on my account,” he whispered.

I propped my head on my hand and ran my fingers along his jaw. “Lucas?”

“Hm?”

I smiled as light from the street lamp filtered through the blinds, touching his face. “Do you…did you…think that I was…you know…easy?”

His eyes remained closed but his face screwed up in confusion. “Easy?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, fighting the embarrassment that threatened to make me hang my head. “Easy. Because I slept with you that first night and I didn’t even know you.” I cupped his cheek, the uncomfortable silence nearly stifling. “And practically every weekend after that.”

He chuckled quietly as he placed his hand over mine. “Of course I don’t think you’re easy. I never did. I just thought the chemistry between us was too strong for either of us to fight.” He rolled to his side to kiss me. “I’ve never felt that sort of thing with anyone – not likely I ever will.”

Emotion stuck in my throat and rendered me speechless. I struggled to speak, to tell him how I really felt. “I…me either.”

Although my words were weak, he understood their meaning. As if in slow motion, we each moved – me to my back and him over me. I shivered in anticipation and when his lips finally touched mine, everything inside me burst like the grand finale at a fireworks display.

He moved slowly, his lips lingering on mine. His hands were unhurried and soft as he slipped the t-shirt over my head. I trembled as he captured my mouth again. His kiss was gentle and tender with a taste of passion.

We didn’t explode but came together deliberately, leisurely exploring each other as if we’d never been intimate. And as we peaked, I clung to his shoulders, my face buried in the crook of his neck, crying happily, because I was where I belonged. And I finally knew it.

He held me close to his chest as our hearts slowed, his fingers tangled in my hair. Kissing me again, he squeezed me. “Good night, love.”

***

Dustin was waiting for me at my house when I got home late Saturday morning. He nearly jumped on me when I walked in the door.

“Irelyn, is something wrong with your phone?” he asked as he took my shoulders. His eyes were shining and my curiosity grew.

“No, why?” I asked. I’d turned it off last night when I was at Lucas’s and had forgotten to turn it on again.

“I’ve been trying to call you all morning,” he said, taking my hand, leading me to the sofa, not even allowing me to remove my coat. “I need to talk to you.”

“Where is my mother? And Tommy?” I asked, confused.

“They ran to the store,” he said. “Your mother said I could wait for you.”

Unzipping my coat, I slipped my arms out while excitement radiated off of him. It frightened me a little and dread lined my stomach. “What’s going on?”

He took my hand and kissed my cheek. “My father surprised us this morning,” he said. “We’re going to Europe with my father’s family for the holiday break.”

“You’re…what?” I asked.

“My cousin is getting married this spring and I guess my parents figure it’s just a matter of time until you and I marry so they wanted to get the entire family together this year.”

His smile was brilliant and I wondered what this was supposed to mean. “You’re leaving?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed as he hugged me. “I’m sorry I won’t be here to spend the holidays with you but this is a great opportunity. Besides, I’ll be back before your birthday, I promise.”

I knew I should tell him that I wanted to end things but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin the trip for him nor could I erase that shine in his eyes. Biting back my words, I nodded. “It’s okay, really. Um, let me get your gift.”

“Okay,” he said. “But we have to hurry. We’re leaving tonight and I don’t have all my things together yet.”

When I returned with his gift, I handed it to him. He oohed and aahed over the encyclopedia like I knew he would. My heart stilled as he retrieved his coat and dug in his pocket. He handed me a small, store-wrapped package.

My hands trembled as I accepted it and carefully tore the paper. I admired the pretty pink box momentarily before nervously pinching it open, holding my breath. It left me in a gush of relief when my eyes fell on a dainty pair of diamond earrings nestled on a bed of velvet.

“They’re beautiful,” I said, my voice a little high. He took it as excitement over his gift and he kissed me.

“I’m glad you like them,” he said, smiling. “I, um, wanted to give you a ring but I knew you weren’t ready for that so I had to settle for the next best thing.”

“Oh,” I said, stunned. “Well, I love the earrings.”

“I’m glad,” he said, checking his watching as he got to his feet. “I have to go. I’m sorry I have to leave but I promise to make it up to you on your birthday.” He winked and squeezed my arm. “I’m already working on it.”

“Don’t go to any trouble,” I objected. I hated all the attention.

“It’s no trouble,” he said, pecking my cheek. “Have a great Christmas, sweetheart. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”

He left me standing frozen in the middle of the living room. Relief joined me but so did anxiety. I hadn’t broken up with Dustin and I let him walk away believing things were fine. But I just couldn’t break his heart right before his trip. I’d have to do it when he came home.

I sank to the sofa, staring at the Christmas tree. As much as it pained me to string Dustin, I couldn’t help but be relieved that he was gone and that I could put things off a little longer.

Chapter 14

Christmas Eve was pleasant enough considering I spent it at my grandparents’ house in front of a roaring fire in their luxurious den. Grandmother had been in a festive mood, actually doting on Tommy and I like we had a warm, loving relationship.

Grandfather had handed out gifts, as was the norm, and my main gift had consisted of a receipt for my next semester’s tuition. Grandmother had showered me with expensive clothes – none really to my taste – and a beautiful pearl necklace. I had kissed her cheek and she’d even allowed me to hug her.

All and all it hadn’t been a bad evening.

We returned home around ten as Tommy was anxious to get to bed. He still believed in Santa, though I had a feeling he was a little skeptical. I grinned as I remembered the conversation I’d had with Lucas about Santa and I honestly hoped Tommy would believe for a few more years.

“What is this?” Mom asked as she approached the door. A parcel sat on the steps in plain brown paper. She picked it up, her brow furrowed, and shoved it under the porch light. “It has your name on it, Irelyn.”

I took it from her hands as she unlocked the door. “The delivery guy must have just left it here,” I said. “Good thing we have honest neighbors.”

Once we hung up our coats, I opened the package to reveal a beautifully wrapped gift. Tommy bounced around me, eager to see what was inside.

“Who is that from?” Mom asked.

I read the tag and laughed. “The tag says it’s from Santa.”

“Open it!” Tommy demanded.

Mom stood in the doorway with a confused look on her face. “Yes, open it, Irelyn.”

My heart tumbled in my chest as I hoped that if it was indeed from Lucas, and I was almost certain it was, that it wasn’t something embarrassing. But I doubted seriously that if it was lingerie or anything like that, he would have sent it to my house.

I tore the shiny green paper away and gasped, my chest thumping and my lungs frozen. “No way,” I muttered, my hands trembling.

“What is it?” Mom asked as she stepped in the room. Her face lit up as her hands flew to her mouth. “Irelyn! Who sent you that? Did Dustin?”

Opening the box, I pulled the laptop out excitedly. I lifted the lid carefully and gaped at the dark monitor. My heart filled with love for the man who knew exactly what I wanted most. Well, besides him. “No, it’s not from Dustin,” I whispered.

“Well, who would send you such an expensive gift?” she asked.

I shook Lucas out of my head before meeting my mother’s eyes. “It’s from Bailey and Morgan,” I quickly lied. “Um, they’re always complaining about how I write in notebooks and how I should just go out and get a laptop.”

“That is a very generous gift,” she said dubiously.

And it was. I wasn’t sure how much money Lucas made at his job or even his weekend gigs and I worried that he went a little overboard. Could he afford this? Would it put him out? Would he have to skimp on a few things? Did he have to give up anything? I hoped not. I didn’t want him to go without anything just so he could buy me a gift. I knew exactly how that felt.

Yet, I also knew the joy of giving a gift to someone you loved – a gift they wanted so very much. Is that what Lucas was thinking? Did he want me to feel the happiness that was surrounding my heart? My love for him grew as I pondered that thought.

But I sighed. As much as I longed to charge the laptop and start writing, I wondered if I should return it.

“Um, Mom, they have loads of money,” I said. “I agree that it is too much but it is actually nothing to them.”

“Well, honey, you have some wonderful friends,” she said as she draped an arm around Tommy.

“Yes I do,” I concurred as a wistful smile crossed my face. I longed to call Lucas at that moment but I knew he was with his parents and I didn’t want to bother him. I’d most certainly go see him the next night no matter if I had to lie to my mother or not.

Tommy scurried off to bed and I followed him, carefully carrying the laptop with me. I set it on my desk, pausing to stroke it lovingly before I climbed between the sheets.

I couldn’t sleep. I had to talk to him. I didn’t want to disturb his family time but I needed to hear his voice. And I wanted him to know how happy he’d made me – even if I did return the gift. I grabbed my phone.

He answered almost immediately. “Hey, love. How are you?”