Alone (12 page)

“I don’t want you alone with him.” Somehow, my father manages to make his tone sound parental and not like a government official giving orders. I guess there’s a first time for everything.

Ignoring him, I swipe a banana off the counter. I peel it and take a bite, wondering what Roman’s father has been telling people. What has my dad so worried? I already know Roman had a record before the infection—he’d told me as much himself—but he hasn’t given me any real details. Do I even want to know?

I’m not sure, but at the moment all I want is to get away from my father.

I scarf my banana down and toss the peel into the trash before heading to the door.

“Juliana,” my father calls just as I walk past him. There’s something about his tone that makes me stop. He hesitates before saying, “Be careful, even inside the fence. The Regulator wants to make it look perfect here, but it isn’t. It doesn’t happen often, but zombies have managed to get in from time to time. He has it taken care of and keeps it quiet. Says it’s for peace of mind.” His jaw tightens like it does when he disapproves of a decision someone is making.

I narrow my eyes and study him before saying, “It sounds like things aren’t going well with the Regulator.”

“Let’s just say that we don’t exactly see eye to eye on what’s best for the town,” he says. “If he doesn’t pull his head out of his ass soon, though, Atlanta will do it for him. They’re fed up.”

I can read between the lines.
The Regulator's an ass
.

At least we agree on something.

“Well I’m going to head out.” I’ve had more than enough father/daughter time for today.

He nods as he turns back to his paper, barely batting an eye now that he’s done his duty and warned me to be careful.

I turn on my heel and head toward the door.
Ah, there’s the father I’ve grown to despise
.

Outside, the sky is clear blue with just a few puffy, gray clouds in the distance, and the bright sun shines down on the earth like it can’t wait to suck all the moisture from the earth. I dart across the backyard, avoiding the puddles and muddy patches as best as I can. The bright sunshine is deceptive, because there’s a slight chill to the air. Goose bumps pop up on my arms and legs when a cool breeze sweeps across the yard. It’s like the storm moved in and sucked all the humidity from South Carolina. Maybe fall is finally here.

I run across the boardwalk spanning the dunes but have only made it halfway when I spot Roman and Mac lounging on the stairs. A nervous tingle starts in my stomach and I slow to a walk.

Roman leans against the rail while he smokes a cigarette, and the sight of him actually makes me laugh. I swore I’d never date a guy who smoked, but in the face of the apocalypse, it doesn’t seem like a very big deal anymore. Funny—or terrifying—how things change.

He turns when I stop behind him, and the corner of his mouth quirks up.

Mac looks my way too, squinting under the bright sun. He uses his hand to shade his face, and I catch a glimpse of mischief twinkling in his eyes as he grins up at me. “You look like you slept well.” When he winks, my cheeks burst into flames.

Roman rams the heel of his shoe into Mac’s chest, sending him tumbling off the stairs and onto the wet sand. He springs back to his feet, throwing wet sand up all around him in the process. It flies through the sky and lands on Roman and me, leaving little droplets of sand sprinkled on my arms and legs. I brush them off while Mac does the same, my cheeks aching from the grin that’s spread across my face. It’s a beautiful ache that brings back memories of days gone by.

Roman is still smoking. Smoking and watching me so intently that it wakes the butterflies who have made their home in my stomach, causing them to once again fight against my insides in a desperate attempt to escape. My cheeks burn when images of last night flood my mind, and I finally have to look away.

I’m squirming when I turn to face Mac. “So what are the plans for today?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” he says with a grin, “but I have to be honest, I’m taken. I know it breaks your heart, but my hands are tied.” He puts his wrists together to illustrate his point.

“So Carmen tied you up last night?” Roman smirks, and I giggle. “A bit kinky for your first time, but whatever turns you on.”

Mac puts his finger to his lips. “Shhh. You’re making Jules jealous. You know how she’s wanted me since the moment we met.”

Roman watches Mac with the same amused expression he had yesterday during the other boy’s
Twilight
tangent. The corner of his mouth just barely quirked up and his eyes sparkling.

That expression gives him away. He isn’t a delinquent or a battered child. He’s Roman. Relaxed. Sweet. Caring. He’s everything.

His gaze meets mine, and he blows out a puff of smoke. Winking at me. Burning me alive. My skin is hot with his gaze.

Mac clears his throat. “Well…I’m thinking that I might be interrupting something.” He whistles and looks toward the sky, twiddling his thumbs behind his back as he turns and walks away, heading down the beach. “I think I’ll just go find someone else to spend the day with…”

The corner of Roman’s mouth turns up even more. “Yeah. Go find Carmen so you can rock her world again.”

Mac raises his arm over his head and gives Roman the finger. But when Mac glances over his shoulder, he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“What about you?” Roman asks, tossing his cigarette onto the wet sand as he gets to his feet.

I raise an eyebrow and fight back a grin. “Are you asking if you can rock my world?”

“I will if you’ll let me.” A teasing light flashes in his eyes.

My stomach turns inside out and upside down and tosses the butterflies around. They beat their wings and grow teeth so they can chew on my insides.

“One day…” How in the world did I manage to get those words out? All I really want to say is
hell yes!

“Can I get that in writing?”

I laugh and bite my lip. Intentionally. I never realized I did it so often until Roman pointed it out, but since then, I’ve had the urge to do it every time I’m with him.

He narrows his eyes on my mouth. “You’re doing that on purpose.”

I can’t stop smiling, but I’m sure if I don’t stop soon my face is going to break in two. It would be worth it though, because I’m not sure I’ve ever felt happiness like this…
ever
.

Roman grabs my arm and pulls me against him without giving me any warning. All the air leaves my lungs just before he covers my mouth with his. He tastes like tobacco and salt, smells like smoke and soap, leather and the outdoors. Fresh and worn at the same time. Like nothing I’ve ever known before. My legs wobble like they’re two pieces of cooked spaghetti. How the hell did they get here? I have no idea, but I do know if I don’t hold on to Roman I’m going to fall, so I wrap my arms around his neck. My chest is pressed firmly against his, our hearts pounding in perfect synchronization as his lips move over mine. I say a silent prayer of thanks for those strings of pasta that have for some reason replaced my legs.

Roman stops kissing me too soon. I could stay in his arms forever and be happy. On the beach with the cool air blowing across my face and seagulls flying above us.

“Let me take you into town,” he says, holding my gaze. His arms still wrapped around me. “I know you’re scared, but you can trust me. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

I shiver against my will. I don’t want to be scared, and I do trust Roman. We’ve only just met, but for some reason, I feel like I’ve known him my entire life. Like I was born knowing him.

“Will there be zombies?”

His fingers trace little circles on my back. Around and around and around. My skin tingles and heats up, threatening to engulf us both. I don’t want to go into town. I want to take him back to my room and throw him on my bed and…

“It’s okay. I told you, they’re so much slower than they used to be. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

…take his clothes off…

“I don’t know, Roman.”

…but I do know. I know exactly what I want. Why can’t I just say the words?

“There’s something I need to do, so I have to go into town. You don’t have to come with me, but I’d like it if you did.”

“Weren’t you just there yesterday?” What could he possibly get in a town unsanctioned by the government? We’re given everything we need.

“A birthday present for Mac.”

A smile floods my insides and breaks through, lighting up my face. Roman will make me happy. Finally.

“I’ll go with you.”

He smiles. It’s crooked and cute and the most endearing gesture I’ve ever seen a person make. “You’re sure? I don’t want you do something that will make you uncomfortable.”

Do I detect a double meaning to those words? “It won’t. If I say I want to do something, it means I do.”

There’s definitely a double meaning to mine.

Chapter Fourteen

Over the Fence

I’ve never gone into town with anyone other than Mac, but I’m taking Jules.

Does it mean something?

It feels like it does. Not just to me, but to her. She trusts me, and I love that about her, which says more about the two of us together than anything that happened last night.

She follows me over the fence without hesitating, but the second her feet touch the ground, her eyes dart around like she’s afraid someone—or something—is going to jump her. She’s visibly shaking.

Am I an ass for encouraging her to come with me? Maybe I’m being selfish. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“There really isn’t anything to worry about,” I say, kneeling next to the cooler Mac and I have hidden. “I didn’t lie about that, but we carry these as a precaution.” I pull a couple knives out and hand her one.

Her eyes get bigger than ever, but she nods like she understands. She wraps shaky fingers around the handle, and the sudden urge to take her away from here comes over me. Not because I think she’s going to hurt herself, but because I want her to be somewhere safe. Jules shouldn’t have to live in a world where zombies want to eat her. She should be happy and have a future.

Does a safe place actually exist anymore? I doubt it. If I were being honest, I’d admit that it probably never existed in the first place. It sure hasn’t for me.

I clear my throat and look away from Jules so I can get my shit together.

What is going on with me? I ditch Roz for a girl I just met, and now I’m having delusions about running away with her. I wonder if I’m going insane.

“R-Roman?”

My head snaps up at the shakiness in Jules’s voice. I scan the area, looking for trouble. A zombie or an undocumented survivor. Something dangerous. But there’s nothing in the forest other than Jules and me.

I stand up and turn to face her. “You okay?”

“There’s really nothing to be scared of?” She’s looking at me with wide eyes.

I pull her against me. Maybe we shouldn’t do this.

“No,” I say reassuringly. “Trust me. The knives aren’t really even necessary if we come across one. We could easily outrun them now. They’re slow. Decaying. Barely a threat.”

When she nods, her head rubs against my chest. I pull her closer, trying to push aside all the filthy thoughts that fill my mind when her breasts press harder against me. It’s almost impossible with her this close to me. I can feel every curve, every breath she lets out. We need to get moving, but I can’t stop myself from tilting her face up and crushing my lips against hers.

She kisses me back, moving her mouth against mine, tracing her tongue over mine. Whispering my name against my lips. Making me regret every second I ever wasted on another girl.

My heart is pounding like a stampede of buffalo when I pull away. We need to get moving. Plus, I don’t want to lose control.

“We should go.”

Jules gives a smile that’s sweet and innocent and is like an arrow to my heart. It makes me want to protect her and love her and beat the shit out of anyone who hurts her.

We start walking. Through the woods and toward the road. Her warm hand in mine as we talk about things we miss and things we still want to do. I tell her what I remember about my mom. How different life was with her, about the cookies she baked and how the smell of roses always reminds me of her smile.

When we reach the road, Jules stops and looks around like she’s seeing the world for the first time. “It’s so quiet. It just doesn’t feel real. How far to town?”

“About two miles. It sounds longer than it is.”

She squeezes my hand as we start moving again. I’ve never actually held hands with a girl like this before. Holding hands screams
relationship
, and that was never really my thing. But Jules’s hand in mine feels right. Safe.

“What exactly are you getting for Mac?” She’s more relaxed then she was when we first crossed over, but her eyes still dart around at every sound. I’m not sure if she’s worried or just taking in her surroundings, though.

I grin when I think about Mac. I can’t help it. He makes me laugh and makes this whole shitty life a little less shitty. Before the virus, I never would have thought we could be friends. Not like this. But if it hadn’t been for him, the last two years in Coastal Manor would have been like hell.

“Not gonna tell.” I wink and let go of her hand so I can get a cigarette. When I put it between my lips, Jules frowns, and I freeze. “Is it okay that I smoke?” It’s a damn miracle that I care, but I do.

She tilts her head to the side and studies me. Really studies me. Her eyes search mine, sweeping over my face and hair and down to my arms. She just looks at me. Like she can see
inside
.

“I never thought it would be okay—smoking is so…gross.” She wrinkles her nose, and I have the sudden urge to toss the damn cigarette on the ground. “But I think I’ve decided to be rebellious. You know, piss my dad off. I think that will make it easier.”

An ache moves through my chest, and I lower the cigarette. Is that all I am?

Her eyes twinkle, and I almost laugh. She’s joking. Okay, maybe half-joking. She does have daddy issues, after all.

I pop the cigarette between my lips and give her a half-smile as I light up. “I know a few other things you could do to piss your dad off.” She laughs, and I wink. “I wasn’t joking.”

“Oh, I know.” Jules smiles again. It’s big and beautiful and brighter than the damn sun, and that’s it for me. I’m a goner.

The house comes into view, and I clear my throat, trying to dislodge the lump that’s formed there. It feels like I swallowed a tennis ball. Of course, I haven’t seen a tennis ball in over two years, so that can’t be right.

“We need to duck in here,” I say, titling my head toward the house as I take a drag.

Jules shoots me a questioning look, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s just along for the ride, which is awesome, because I have a strong feeling it’s going to be a wild one.