American Love Songs (28 page)

 

Parker stared at him for another moment, then snapped the towel at him. “Like youd ever leave me for Ryan Seacrest.”

T
HEY were in the middle of a Muppets Christmas movie marathon when the doorbell rang. Jake hit the “pause” button on the remote and stretched just enough that Parker had to move to let him get up.

“Are you seriously going to answer the door wearing that?”

“What? Theyre festive,” Jake said mock-defensively, shaking his head just enough that the bells dangling from his tacky headband antlers jingled a little. “Admit it, you secretly love them.”

“At least take the nose off.”

Actually, the glow-in-the-dark nose was starting to be really uncomfortable. Jakes nose was probably Rudolph red even without it by this time. He unclipped it and tossed it on the table. “Be right back.”

“Nice antlers,” Mickey told him when he answered the door. Then: “Oof!” as Jake squashed her into a hug.

 

“Thanks for coming.”

“Are you kidding? Thanks for the invite. Its colder than a witchs tit in New York.” She grinned as he picked up her bag. “So does he suspect?”

Jake shrugged. “Who knows?” Hed never have thought it, but apparently Parker had an amazing poker face. He lowered his voice. “Lets find out. Wait here.”

He ducked back into the living room. “Hey, you need to sign for a package.”

From the other room came the sounds of Parker reluctantly getting up off his ass: there was the crumpling of the blanket hitting the floor, then the muffled thumps of Parker swinging his feet onto the carpet. His footsteps were mostly silent, and he had his glasses in one hand when he came through from the living room, wiping his eyes. “But I didnt order a—”

Blinking, he stopped. Then Mickey launched herself at him, and he staggered backward under her weight. “Ow. Call the chiropractor.” “Rude!” Mickey chastised him, swatting him on the back.

Jake stood back to the side to watch, smiling. Sure, he missed his own family, but it was worth it to put that smile on Parkers face. Mickeys too.

“So,” Mickey said, releasing her brother and taking a step back, “which one of you is making me Christmas dinner?”

J
AKEgave it until ten oclock or so before he made his move, coming with two mugs of hot cocoa into the living room where Parker was reading
A Christmas Carol
. He purposely sat on Parkers feet where he had them tucked up under a couch cushion to keep them warm and carefully handed over a travel mug when Parker looked up.

“Thanks,” he smiled, taking a quick sip and getting marshmallow on his nose. Jake smiled and handed him the lid with a shake of his head.

“Welcome,” Jake told him, setting his own mug down on the table. “So, are you ready to go?”

Parkers smile turned confused. “Go?”
Jake nodded. “Got something you need to see, and it cant wait.” “I dont suppose you want to tell me what it is?”

Shaking his head, Jake said, “No, I dont suppose so. Its a surprise. Come on, the taxi will be here any minute.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Parker said, laughing as he cradled his mug to his chest. “I guess that explains the travel mugs.”

 

“That, and all the regular ones were dirty,” Jake confirmed cheekily.

 

“Do I need to dress up?”

Knowing Parker was just trying to wrangle information about their final destination, Jake shook his head. “Nope. Come on, chop chop. Time and tide and all that.”

“God, youre not going to try to teach me to surf again or something, are you?”

 

Jake gave him a dry look. “What fun would you be if your balls dropped off? No more questions, now move it!”

Parker allowed himself to be prodded along fairly easily after that, good-naturedly letting Jake pull a toque down over his eyes so he couldnt guess where they were going even though it wasnt exactly cold in LA at Christmastime. After a not-inconsiderable drive, Jake paid the driver extra for making him wait and went around to the other side of the car to help Parker get out.

“Can I take it off yet?” he wanted to know, showing signs of impatience for the first time since the hat went on.

 

“Almost,” Jake said, taking his arm. “Small step up to the curb— careful, the pavements uneven.”

 

“You havent taken me here to have me killed or anything, have you?” Parker asked lightly.

“Baby, if I was gonna kill you, Id have done it a long time ago.” Jake had been about to say “when nobody would have noticed you missing,” but the idea that there had been such a time was still unsettling. He didnt want to think about that tonight.

“Now, six steps up,” he directed, gently guiding Parker by the elbow. “Railing on your left, if you want, but its got a garland so it might be prickly.”

“I trust you,” Parker said mildly, and Jake almost laughed at the feeling of relief that went through him. Though he should have guessed, what with the blindfold and everything else.

They reached the top of the stairs without incident, and Jake tugged open the heavy wooden door. “Almost there.”

 

“Something smells good,” Parker said when they got inside, lifting his nose up. Jake didnt bother worrying that hed peek.

“It smells like Christmas,” Jake confirmed, reaching down and entwining their fingers. Parkers hand was warm and dry in his. “Come on, just a little bit further.”

They finally entered the main chamber, and Jake led Parker to a bench in one of the back rows and helped him sit down.

 

“Now can I take it off?” Parker asked again, though he didnt move his hand from Jakes.

“Here,” Jake said, a half-smile crossing his face. He released Parker so he could slide closer, gently bringing a hand to either side of his face and rolling the toque up until Parkers eyes were uncovered. “There you are.” He resisted kissing him only because they were in public.

“Here I am,” Parker confirmed, his eyes meeting Jakes for a long moment before he looked around to take in his surroundings. His pale green eyes went to the stained glass windows, taking in the cross hanging on the front wall, the altar and the pews and the hymnals and pocket Bibles. “Jake?”

“You mentioned you missed it,” Jake said, doing his best not to squirm and still trying to gauge Parkers reaction. “Midnight mass on Christmas Eve, I mean. I know part of it was going with your family, but I thought—you should be here. You know? Its….”

He stopped when Parker squeezed his hand, his eyes serious. “Thank you,” he said quietly, not smiling, but Jake could hear the heartfelt gratitude and knew he wasnt wrong about this. “Its….”

He didnt finish the sentence, leaving Jake to guess at whatever he might mean, but that was okay. He squeezed Parkers hand again briefly before releasing him. “Im glad,” he said. Hed invited Mickey originally, but between the jet lag and the fact that she was still angry with their parents—ostensibly for what theyd done to Parker, though she couldnt be happy with them for ostracizing her as well—she had preferred to stay at home in bed. Maybe they could take her along next year.

“This place is, you know.” Parker gestured helplessly, trying to convey what he meant.

 

“One hundred percent homo friendly,” Jake assured him. “Come on, I wouldnt do that to you.”

“No, I know.” His posture relaxed, and he leaned back into the uncomfortable wood. “I know you wouldnt. I guess Im just expecting fire and brimstone, you know?”

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but Im pretty sure the only open flame tonight is going to be on the advent candles.”

They quieted somewhat after that as the church began to fill up, and it was nearly full when the pastor entered to give the invocation. There wasnt much preaching, for which Jake was grateful, just a prayer for peace and then a direction to the board at the front of the church where the numbers for the nights hymns were posted.

He and Parker shared a hymnal with the little girl on Jakes other side. She had to stand on the bench to be able to see properly, but her parents just smiled indulgently, and if anyone noticed that Jake and Parker were somewhat famous, no one commented; Jake had found that that was one of the benefits of living in LA. No one even looked at them twice, not even to marvel at the sweetness of Parkers voice during “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,” which Jake imagined must have taken a lot of restraint on their part.
⁴⁷

The little girl on Jakes right shyly handed him a candy cane, and Jake smiled, whispering his thanks and tucking it into his coat pocket.

When the service was over, Jake shook her hand and wished her a merry Christmas, smiling at her obviously proud parents. Parker was even quieter than usual, but Jake wasnt surprised; he was probably lost in years of memories of Christmas Eves past, and he was allowed to be. Just in case he was feeling too lonely, though, he broke the candy cane in his pocket and pressed half of it into Parkers hand, curling his fingers around the treat softly.

Parker leaned on his shoulder all the way home, which made the long, costly cab ride worth it. By the time they got home, it was beyond “late” and well into “early.” Parker still wasnt talking much, so Jake kissed him gently and helped him out of his clothes, then pushed him into bed and tugged the covers up around him.

⁴⁷
Jake was kind of biased.
Only after the lights were out did Parker turn his face into Jakes chest and murmur, “Not yet. Not yet, okay? But soon.”

Jake knew well enough that he wasnt talking about sex this time. He pressed a kiss to his temple, smiled into the darkness, and promised, “Itll wait.”

T
HE twenty-ninth was a quiet day. Parker and Jake saw Mickey off at the airport; she was going to visit friends in South Dakota before school started back up again. Chris and Jimmy werent due back from Kansas until tomorrow, and it was the first time theyd really had the house to themselves since things between them got interesting.

Still, they were used to a certain routine now. When they got home, Parker did yoga in his room for an hour, and Jake worked out in the gym. After showering—separately, out of habit, though obviously Jake lamented the lost opportunity—they met up in the kitchen, and Jake made a lunch healthy enough to satisfy even Parker, though much of it was leftovers. They were both still lethargic from the tryptophanlike effects of major holidays, so Jake found something mindless on the TV, and they curled up together on the couch, half dozing, half paying attention.

Of course, Jake was still a guy, so his hands eventually started to wander. At first, Parker swatted him away lightly, but there wasnt really any deterrent force behind the motion, mostly just reflex. The second time Jake brushed his fingertips over Parkers ribs, Parker made an amused-sounding noise, sat up straighter, and kissed him.

There were times Jake thought he could go on for days just like this, just him and Parker stretched out together along the couch in their shared living room, touching and kissing without intent. Each touch of Parkers nose, lips, tongue, teeth was unique, and Jake had discovered the joy of being able to take his time with a partner—not only physically.

Still, they were both only human, so when Parkers breath started hitching, and he crawled close enough for Jake to feel his erection pressing against his side, that whole “innocent” thing went out the window pretty fast. They werent rushing, though, their hands caressing each other as leisurely as they had just been exploring each others mouths.

Needing oxygen, Jake was finally forced to tear his mouth away from Parkers, kissing and licking at the skin on his neck because if he didnt have something to do with his tongue, he was going to say something Parker wasnt ready to hear.

“Jake,” Parker murmured, the vibrations tickling at Jakes lips. His hands fisted in Jakes hair. “I want—I want to.” His eyes flicked down tellingly, and when they came back up again they were dark and serious. “Can I?”

The retort was primed on Jakes lips—
if you’re not ready to say it, you’re not ready to do it
—but the words died before he had a chance to give them voice. Parkers hand did a slow slide down his neck, his back, and settled with fingers curled loosely around the waist of Jakes jeans. Jake couldnt catch his breath; his heart was beating way too fast, and he felt lightheaded. For so long he had wanted this, had craved it and furiously denied himself, and now….

Now Parker was asking him.

Mouth drier than the Gobi desert, at last he managed, “Yeah.” He could barely hear himself over the pounding of his own pulse. “Yeah, we can do that. But not here, okay?”

Predictably, Parker flushed, carefully worming his way off Jakes lap, where he had somehow ended up. Jake didnt give him a chance to voice any change of opinion, drawing him into a deep, hungry kiss as he backed him toward Jakes bedroom.

Their
bedroom, these past few days. Maybe even permanently, someday.

Pushing the thought aside, Jake gently maneuvered them onto the bedspread without disengaging their mouths. Parker managed to crawl on top of him again, his hands and knees causing the mattress to dip in four points around them.

It was warm, and the blinds were drawn, creating a cozy cocoon of warmth around them. Slowly, with trembling fingers, Parker attended to Jakes clothing, drawing his T-shirt over his head and trailing fingers down his sternum before fumbling with his belt. Jake waited patiently for his turn while Parker drew his jeans down his legs.

Parker didnt stop there, though; wriggling his body further down the bed, he slid one hand under Jakes bare calf to support it and peeled Jakes sock off with the other. Once hed given the other leg the same treatment, he brushed elegant fingers up the front of Jakes thighs, over the soft fabric of his boxers, until he was leaning over Jakes face again.

Jake allowed the barest brush of their lips before positing, “My turn.”

Parker didnt protest, sitting on his haunches as Jake painstakingly removed both layers of his shirts while touching him as much as possible. The process of divesting him of his jeans was decidedly less graceful, but they got there, and then it was just the two of them in their boxers, neither pair of which was doing much to conceal the erection hiding behind it. Jake distracted Parker with another kiss and smoothed his hands around Parkers shoulders and down his back, stopping at the cloth-covered elastic and beginning to coax it downward.