American Love Songs (25 page)

“You dont get the whole thing to yourself, you know.” ”Who cares? This is the most amazing thing thats ever happened to me.”

 

“Im glad you feel that way, because theres one condition.” “Whatever it is, Ill do it. Name your price. I owe you, like, forever.”

 

“You get to tell Mom.”

 

“Jake! You didnt tell her shes going to be in the Caribbean for Christmas?”

“Shes always wanted to go; its not like shes going to object.” “No, but what about the usual family plans?”
“Oh, that. I called Grandma.”

Becca laughed. “Jeez, then Id better hurry up and call Mom before she spills the beans.” She paused. “So, are you and the boys staying in another room?”

Jake took a deep breath.
Now or never.
“Im not going.” “What?”
“Im staying in LA with Parker.”
“Jake—”

“I still cant talk about it. It wasnt his idea, okay?” Scrubbing a hand through his hair, he grasped for the best way to explain without saying, “But he wouldnt come home with me.” “We could use some time to ourselves, while we still have it.”

“You could just tell her yourself, you know?”

He knew that. And he would, someday, despite the inevitable “I told you so.” In the meantime, he wasnt too much of a man to admit that the prospect of telling his mother he would be spending Christmas somewhere without her utterly terrified him.

Next year hed introduce Parker to the whole Brenner family, he told himself firmly. He would visit sometime after the holiday. For now, this would be enough.

A
FEW days later, Parker appeared at the door to Jakes bedroom when he was playing video games, an uncertain expression on his face. Jake heard it in his voice before he saw it—he needed most of his concentration for Brutal Legends—but once he did, he flicked the game off, tossed the controller aside, and turned to Parker. “Come here.”

If Parker was annoyed at all at how much Jake tended to order him around, he didnt say anything, just shuffling into the room, hands buried in his pockets, the back of his neck painted a pale shade of red.

It was going to be a fun conversation, Jake could already tell. “Been doing some research?” he asked mildly, reaching out and tugging Parker down onto the bed with him once he got close enough. “Sometimes I hate how well you know me,” Parker grumbled, shoving his now-flaming face into the fabric of Jakes T-shirt.

Jake arranged their limbs into a comfortable pile and then locked his fingers behind Parkers back to prevent an escape. “No, you dont,” he said warmly, reclining into a pillow. “Something you want to talk about?”

He could practically feel the heat of Parkers face through his shirt, and Jake thought fondly what an oddly mismatched pair they made: Parker got embarrassed at the smallest little things, while Jake had no shame at all.

“Do you have to sound so smug about it?” Parker whined into his right nipple, and Jake sighed and rearranged them, twisting and scooting up the bed until Parkers back was against his chest and he didnt have to look at him.

“No,” he said. “I know this is hard for you. Sorry. Do you want me to guess?”

“Youre just going to guess increasingly audacious things to make me blush more,” Parker sighed, and if he was joking, he couldnt be as wound up about this as Jake had feared, so that was a good thing. “Just give me a few minutes to collect myself, okay?”

Jake shrugged gamely. “Sure.” It was no hardship to have Parker leaned up against him between his legs, even if the only sexual activities happening were all in Jakes head. Jake had discovered, over the course of his friendship with Parker, that he was a cuddler; it was not something he ever expected to know about himself, but he couldnt deny how nice the closeness felt.

After a few shaky breaths, Parker seemed ready to continue. “Its just—I know youre right, I have to believe youre right, because I cant live my whole life like I was. I need some more time before Im ready to, you know”—Jake didnt know, but he had an inkling, and he figured hed catch on quickly enough if he let Parker continue—“but I mean, there are other things that I, and I could, that wouldnt make me….”

Jake tightened his grip around Parkers middle and pressed a kiss at the back of his neck, hoping to calm him, and Parker finally blurted out, “Im not a virgin!”

It was a good thing Parker couldnt see his face, though he could probably feel the smirk Jake was pressing into his skin in an effort to keep his laugh from escaping. He took a deep breath and brushed another gentle kiss across the knob at the top of his spine. “Okay.”

Parker huffed ineloquently. “I had sex with a girl,” he confessed.

Considering that Jake had never seen Parker display even the slightest bit of attraction to a woman, this was surprising. “How was it?” he asked. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

“Awkward,” Parker admitted.
⁴⁵
“Not an experience I need to repeat. But thats not the only….”

Jake suddenly realized that they were having the uncomfortable sexual history conversation. That explained Parkers flustered behavior and the fact that he couldnt seem to get more than two words out at a time without stuttering. “Want me to go first?” he asked gently, absently rubbing small circles on Parkers stomach with one hand.

“No offense, but Im not sure I want to know.” Parkers voice and his body were both trembling a little, so Jake held him a little tighter.

“I wont go into details, then,” Jake promised. “Ive got more than enough experience for the both of us, okay? Youre not going to ask me for anything I wont do”—Parker was too innocent for that— “and Im never going to push for more than what you want to give. We can still take this as slow as you like. If and when you want to try something, all you have to do is say the word, but we dont ever have to—”

Parkers head dropped back against Jakes shoulder, and his body relaxed, sliding comfortably against Jakes. “What if I want you to push me a little?”

Jake didnt know what that to say to that, so he squeezed Parker tightly for a minute and dropped another kiss above his right ear, inhaling the scent of his hair.

For another few seconds, silence dominated the bedroom. Then Parker said, “I—with my TA—we used to. You know.”

“If youre not old enough to be saying it, youre not old enough to be doing it,” Jake recited philosophically. He noted a little sadly that dirty talk was probably not in his future, but then, hed always preferred to do the majority of that kind of talking himself, anyway.

“Oral sex,” Parker practically whispered.

The way Jakes dick reacted to that, one would have thought that it counted as the filthiest language imaginable. Parkers body stiffened against his, and Jake groaned, leaning his forehead onto Parkers shoulder. “God, Im sorry. That was totally involuntary.”

⁴⁵
It turned out she had been the preachers daughter.

Shockingly, though, Parker was giggling, his whole body shaking pleasantly. When he turned in Jakes arms and buried his head in Jakes chest and let out a huge sob of a laugh, Jake couldnt help the bemused smile that touched his lips. “Whats so funny?”

“You!” Parker snorted. “Youve gone from a total sexpot to the kind of guy who apologizes for inappropriate erections. Youre
adorable
.”

“Did you just call me a sexpot?” Jake asked, not sure if he should be amused or offended. He was leaning toward amused, more because of the way Parkers tone made him warm from the inside than anything else. “Cause I gotta tell you, you aint seen nothin yet.”

Parker snorted again—into his neck this time, which tickled— then leaned up and kissed him full on the mouth, soft, wet lips prying Jakes open, tongue playing lightly with Jakes own. After a few minutes, he pulled back, resting his forehead against Jakes, his glasses fogged until Jake reached up and plucked them off, setting them on the bedside table without looking. “Not yet,” Parker said softly, breath warm as it caressed Jakes cheeks. “Not yet, but soon, okay?”

“A little sexual tension never killed anybody,” Jake said easily, though he knew that in the heat of the moment it would be harder to remember. “I can wait.”

The room grew quiet again as they lay there in one anothers arms, and Jake was just about to check to see if Parker had fallen asleep when he spoke, a low vibration against Jakes chest. “I left home for him.”

The hair on the back of Jakes neck stood up, and he laced the fingers of his left hand with those of Parkers and rested them against Parkers stomach.

“After I graduated, I moved back home for a while. Id gone home the summer before, and it hadnt been a problem. We said our goodbyes, and I planned to visit in a few weeks, then try to get a job in New York.

“But when I got home, my mom and dad seemed a little distant. After the first month, they called me into the kitchen, saying there was someone they wanted me to meet.”

When Parker paused in his narrative, Jake gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze, not wanting to interrupt.

“Somehow they found out about Shaun, maybe from one of the girls from the church who went to school in New York, I dont know. They gave me a choice: I could go with the woman in the kitchen, a representative from Love in Action, or I could leave immediately and never see them again.”

Burying his nose in Parkers hairline, Jake wrapped both arms around him tightly.

“What choice did I have?” he continued a moment later, lifting his hand from his lap and wiping his face briefly. “I packed up my things and got in the car.”

Jake bit his lip.

“But when we got there, I couldnt go through with it. I sat through the first session, and I made it through breakfast the next day, but that was it. I knew there wasnt anything wrong with me, and as long as I had Shauns support, I could try to deal with the grief and the guilt. I was over eighteen, so they couldnt keep me there. I signed myself out after lunch, took my things, and hitchhiked to New York.”

With bated breath, Jake waited.
And waited.

“Shaun was home when I finally got to New York… but he wasnt alone.”

Oh, God.
Jake leaned his forehead against the nape of Parkers neck and vowed silently to himself that no one would ever hurt Parker like that again.

PRODIGAL: OFFICIAL BLOG OF THE WAYWARD SONS

 

Date: Tuesday, December 7, 2010 Author: Jake

 

Happy holidays!

Hey, guys! Hope everyones enjoying the holiday season. Here in LA that apparently means rain and worse traffic congestion than usual. Woohoo!

The purpose of this update is twofold. One, I will relate a humorous story regarding Jimmys girlfriend! Two, I remind you to listen to your radios, because our new single “Closer” hits the airwaves this week, and its awesome.

On to the humorous story!

So in case you havent been reading trashy tabloid magazines, Jimmy got himself a girlfriend, a Brazilian supermodel who lives in our neighborhood. Well, he went over there last night with a head full of hair, and when he trudged back in this morning, it was in short, ragged clumps. Apparently Daniele pulled a Delilah and hacked it off while he was sleeping. Daniele is claiming she was sleepwalking at the time, but Im not sure the temptation didnt just get the best of her. Anyway, heres a photo of the damage, if you can call it that. Seriously, is everyone in this band secretly better-looking than I am? Im going to get a complex!

ETA: Yes, alright, Parker is blatantly better-looking than I am, thank you, I feel better now. Jerks.

J
AKE had something of a reputation for letting his mouth get the better of him. The filter between his lips and his brain didnt always function properly. Actually, if you asked Chris or Jakes mother, there would have been a debate about whether it ever existed at all.

If it did exist, it was currently disengaged, forced offline by the extreme localized hotness of having Parker pressed up against a wall with his mouth attached to Jakes neck. Jake wasnt so much aware of the filth passing through his lips as he was merely allowing it to happen on account of the fact that he couldnt seem to stop himself, and it made Parker score his fingers down Jakes back and shudder in his arms. And when his mouth wasnt busy uttering phrases that might actually have made him blush if hed bothered to stop and actually listen to them, he was running his tongue and lips and teeth up the side of Parkers neck to his ear or down to his collar bone and leaving a trail of glistening bruises and whimpering Parker behind.

“Jake, jeez. Be quiet.” Parker squirmed, adjusting himself not-sodiscreetly through his jeans. His fingertips came within millimeters of the fabric covering Jakes own erection. “Are you trying to talk me into an orgasm or something? Is that part of this celibacy plan?”

Jake was just trying to get him a little excited, but the idea held all kinds of crazy appeal, and he took a half step back so he could look down and check out the evidence of his progress.
Christ.
“Bet I could,” he said roughly, putting his hands on Parkers hips and pulling him in. He couldnt seem to control himself. He just had to trust that Parker would tell him to shut up if he went too far. “Bet I could tie you up so you wouldnt be able to touch and talk so dirty you spilled all over yourself without ever being touched. Youd like that, wouldnt you, baby?”

Parkers breath was shaky against his neck when he exhaled. “Dont call me „baby.”

It wasnt a “no.” Grinning, Jake turned them around until he was leaning against the wall, dragging Parker with him. “Maybe some other time, then,” he said, barely touching his nose to Parkers cheek and drawing it back to his ear. His dick was literally begging for attention, but fuck it, winding Parker up was a pretty good time. He could jerk off later. “Cmon, I wanna make out with you all day.”

He felt Parkers fingers curl in the fabric of his T-shirt at the small of his back. “Nothing better to do?” he said breathlessly, probably trying for innocent, though it came off as debauched.

“Stupid question,” Jake said, drawing him into his bedroom by his belt buckle. He spun them around again just as they reached the mattress and shoved him lightly backward so that he sprawled out on the comforter, glasses askew. Jake climbed up astride him and plucked the glasses delicately from his face, setting them carefully aside before reaching for his own belt buckle. The clasp opened easily, and he threaded it through the spindles on the headboard, coaxing Parkers hands up to grip either end. “Leave them there,” he asked, scooting off to one side so he could look him in the eye.