Amish Christmas Joy (14 page)

“I feel the same way. If she continues to misbehave this afternoon, how would you feel if I took her out of school and took her home?”

“You are her father. You are the best one to make that decision.”

“You are forgetting that I’ve only been a father for two months. I’m not sure you can make a case that I’m the best one to make decisions for her.”

“Who else is there?”

“Good point. Honestly, Leah, if you see me taking the wrong track with her, let me know.”

He was deadly serious. She had an overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around him and tell him that he was doing a fine job. He had been given a difficult task, and he was trying his best to do the right thing for his child. “It’s good to know that you are open to suggestions. Not all of my fathers are.”

He glanced at the clock. “Time to round them up.”

“Let us pray that the afternoon goes better.”

He stood up. “Amen to that.”

Their prayers were answered. Joy came in from playing outside, hung up her coat and mittens, and calmly took her seat. For the rest of the afternoon, she was a model student. Leah exchanged a puzzled glance with Caleb. He simply shrugged his shoulders. Neither one of them knew what had changed.

* * *

On Wednesday, Joy was up early and dressed for school by the time Caleb came down for breakfast. She had finished setting plates on the table. “What should I do now,
Mammi?
”

Caleb took his place at the table. His father had already eaten and had gone out to do chores. His mother smiled at Joy. “You can fetch the butter from the refrigerator and then we are ready to eat.”

Joy did as she was asked, and then took a seat at the table and folded her hands. “I am ready to pray, Daddy.”

He shared an amused look with his mother, then said, “We normally say our prayers silently, but since you do not know them, I will teach this to you.”

He bowed his head and closed his eyes. Joy did the same. “This is the
Gebet Nach Dem Essen,
the Prayer Before Meals. Lord God, heavenly Father, bless us and these Thy gifts, which we accept from Thy tender goodness. Give us food and drink for our souls unto life eternal, that we may share Thy heavenly table with Thee, through Jesus Christ. Amen.”

He then recited the Lord’s Prayer as was done before every meal. When he finished, he opened his eyes and looked at Joy. She still had her eyes scrunched closed and her hands folded.

Caleb’s mother came up behind him and placed a kiss on the top of his head, something she hadn’t done since he was seven years old. “You may eat now, both of you.”

Joy’s eyes popped open and she grabbed her fork. “
Goot,
because I’m hungry. We’re going to do something fun in school today. We are going to make things for the birds to eat.”

Caleb’s mother dished up the food and then took a seat beside her granddaughter. “So you like school, do you?”

“Mostly. I like recess the best. I like my teacher, and I like Emmy, and Anna and David. They are my friends.”

She cocked her head to the side and looked at her grandmother. “It’s okay to be friends with my cousin, isn’t it?”

“It is most definitely okay,” Maggie assured her.

Joy finished eating in record time and waited impatiently for Caleb to get done. When they were finally on the way to school, he tentatively broached the subject of her mother.

“Have you mailed all the Christmas cards that you made the other night?”

“Yup.”

“Did you make one for your mother?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think she’ll get it. I don’t know where she lives now.
Mammi
wrote Nana’s address on it.”

“Maybe your step-grandpa will give it to her.”

“I don’t think so. He didn’t like her. He called her a junkie.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“It means she gets sick, and she has to take really bad medicine, but it never makes her better.”

“I guess that’s about right.”

“She could get better if she wants to. Nana said that. But I don’t think Mama wants to.”

“From now on, when we say our prayers at night, we are going to ask God to help her get better.”

“Do you think He can do that?”

“Yes. I believe He can.”

The rest of the morning went off without a hitch. Joy repeated much of the Lord’s Prayer with the other children and joined in singing some of the songs she had learned. She wrote out all the letters of the alphabet and happily showed them to Leah. She was behaving so well that he began to think they were over the hump at school and she could do without him. When the children went out for their first recess, he mentioned the idea to Leah. She agreed it was worth a try.

He waited until the children were going out for their lunch recess before he pulled Joy aside. Leah came to stand beside them. He was grateful for her presence.

“Joy, I want to talk to you.”

“But, Daddy, it’s time for recess.”

“You can go in a minute. Remember I told you I would always let you know when I was leaving and when I would be back?”

“Kind of.” She tipped her head slightly as she stared out at the children playing in the schoolyard.

“Okay. I wanted to let you know that I’m going home for a little while this afternoon to help Grandpa. I will be back before school lets out so we can walk home together. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Can I go play now?”

So much for the meltdown that he had been expecting. He exchanged glances with Leah. She looked as relieved as he felt. “Okay. Have a good time. I’ll see you later.”

She ran out to join the circle of children getting ready to play Duck, Duck, Goose. Anna Imhoff and David made room for her between them.

Caleb blew out a breath and walked to the door. “That was easier than I thought it would be.”

“She seems to be adjusting well. She’s a different child than the one you brought to school yesterday.”

“I think so, too.”

They stepped outside and stood close together on the steps of the school. He was reluctant to leave. If Joy did well, he would lose his excuse to spend time with Leah.

“I will keep a close eye on her,” she assured him.

Caleb allowed his gaze to linger on her face. “I know that. I couldn’t ask for a more capable or compassionate teacher for Joy. You’ve been good for her. And for me.”

A blush stained her cheeks and she looked away.

Realizing he had said too much, he walked down the steps and started toward home.

Leaving Joy at school was much harder than Caleb had expected. At the edge of the woods, he stopped and looked back. Leah still stood on the steps, watching him. He lifted a hand in a brief wave. She did the same. It wasn’t much, but somehow it raised his spirits immensely.

When he reached the house, he saw a buggy tied to the gate and recognized Wayne’s horse. He half hoped that Rhonda had come to visit his mother. Maybe he could convince her to tell the truth now.

He was disappointed to see his brother come out the front door. Wayne folded his arms over his chest. “I would speak with you.”

“Fine. Say what you have to say. I’m listening.”

Wayne looked over his shoulder toward the house. “Not here. Get in the buggy.”

Caleb extended his arm. “After you.”

Both men climbed into the buggy. Wayne picked up the reins and sent the horse trotting out of the yard. Caleb waited until they were at the end of the lane before he spoke again. “I want to thank you for agreeing to let Joy attend school at Walnut Valley.”

“My wife insisted.”

“Then please give her my thanks.”

“You have what you came for. Why are you still here?”

“I came because I wanted to see Joy settled and happy. The longer I’m around her, the less anxious I am to leave. She is my daughter, after all.”

“There are people in the church who believe our parents are wrong to allow you to stay. There’s talk of shunning them.”

“Is that why we’re taking this little ride? So you can guilt me into leaving. Again.”

Wayne turned the horse into a cornfield and pulled to a stop. “We all know you left to be with your
Englisch
girlfriend.”

“You don’t really think I left because of Valerie, do you? I will admit that Valerie made leaving easier, but she wasn’t the reason I couldn’t stay.”

“You left because you couldn’t face what you had done to Rhonda. She is a good woman. She deserved better from you.”

“She did deserve better from someone. Just not from me. I dated her for a while because I felt sorry for her after the accident, but I was never with her in that way. I left because no one believed my side of the story. Not even you. After what I did for you, how could you turn your back on me that way?”

“Lying comes easy to you.”

“And silence comes easily to you. A lie doesn’t have to be spoken to be a lie. Why haven’t you told Rhonda that you were driving the car that hit her that night? I can understand why you never admitted it to our parents. Dad thinks the sun rises and sets on you. You were always the good son. I knew it would break his heart to find out you ran away and left an injured woman trapped under that car.”

“Your car! The forbidden thing you kept hidden in the woods. You made me drive it. It was all your fault,” Wayne shouted. “I never would have gone to such a party without you egging me on. Laughing at me, poking fun at me, calling me a coward. You led me astray. God forgive me.”

Caleb stared down at his hands. “I know I did. That’s why I let everyone believe I was driving. They were shocked but not surprised. They expected trouble from me.”

“Go away. Haven’t you done enough?”

Yes, and I’ve suffered enough, too, brother. I want a new start. You owe me that.

He didn’t say what he was thinking. Instead, he looked at Wayne. “You have been married to Rhonda for nine years. How can you look at her every day and not tell her the truth about that night?”

Wayne seemed to shrink in on himself. “At first, Rhonda said she forgave you. I thought things would be all right for her. Then she became pregnant and you refused to marry her. She was crushed. She changed. She became a different woman.

“It was only after we wed that I saw how much she hates the way she looks. She can’t bear to have people stare at her. She has never forgiven the person who scarred her. To this day, she carries that bitterness in her heart. How could I admit that I am the one responsible after she believed it was you for so long?”

Caleb realized he wasn’t the only one suffering because of the deceit they had carried out. He didn’t want to feel sorry for his brother, but he heard the despair in Wayne’s voice. Was there any way to help?

He laid a hand on Wayne’s arm. “Swallowed alive by guilt and bitterness is a terrible way to live. Have you thought about getting some professional help? Dr. White is a good man. He can find someone that you can talk to. Someone who can help Rhonda find a way to accept her disfigurement.”

Wayne stiffened and shook off Caleb’s hand. “We will not air our dirty laundry in public. We did well enough until you came back. We will do well enough when you are gone.” He slapped the reins against the horse’s rump, drove back out onto the highway and headed toward the farm.

“And if I decide not to leave?” Caleb asked.

Wayne looked shocked. “What are you saying?”

“I’m considering returning to the Amish.”

“No!”

“You don’t get a say in how I live my life from now on.”

“The church congregation must vote to accept your return. They won’t. Not if I can help it. There is no repentance in your heart. I will say this to all.”

Caleb struggled to control his temper. “There are other congregations in the area. You can’t keep me out of them all.”

Wayne pulled to a stop in front of Ike’s house. “Have you come back to torment me?”

“No, I came home because I have a daughter with Down syndrome. She needs a loving home and a welcoming community to live in. I thought I would find that here. You have son. You know what I’m talking about.”

Wayne’s anger drained away. “My wife is afraid of you. Somehow, she believes you can hurt David.”

“I won’t. I promise you that.”

“I know what it is to love a child. I could not love him more if he were mine.”

“Then for the sake of our children and our parents, let us find a way to be civil to one another.”

Before Wayne could answer, a teenage boy came running up to the buggy. He leaned on the wheel to catch his breath. “Teacher sent me to find you, Caleb Mast. Joy has run away.”

Chapter Thirteen

L
eah went weak with relief when she saw Caleb leap out of the buggy that came tearing into the schoolyard. The feeling was quickly followed by shame. She ran toward him and threw herself into his arms. “I am so sorry.”

He hugged her close. “Have you found her?”

“
Nee.
I have the older children scouring the woods. They are to listen for the school bell. If it rings, they are to come back.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. Everything seemed to be going fine. She was happily playing with the others. I went inside to write out the history assignment for the upper grades. I was only gone a few minutes. I rang the bell to call everyone inside, and that’s when I noticed she wasn’t with the other children.”

Leah was shocked to see Wayne get out of the buggy, as well. “Is there someplace she might go?”

Caleb turned in a circle as he raked a hand through his hair. “She’s not familiar with anything but the way to get to school and the way to go home. Leah, is it possible she went to your house to see the puppy?”

Leah hated the look of fear on his face. She hated knowing she was responsible. “I sent two of my girls to check. They aren’t back yet.”

“If she’s not there, I have no idea where she can be. Are you sure none of the children saw where she went? Were there any cars that stopped on the road?”

Leah shook her head. “The children saw nothing out of the ordinary.”

“She couldn’t have vanished into thin air.” His frustration was breaking through.

Leah saw the girls she had sent to her house running toward her. They didn’t have Joy with them. They stopped beside her. “We didn’t see any sign of her.”

“
Danki,
please go inside and help watch the little ones.”

Wayne said, “We can organize a bigger search party and get some men on horseback to cover more ground. Ring the bell, Leah, and call the children back. We will send them home and have their fathers meet us here.”

“Please, God, let her be all right.” Caleb walked away from the school and began calling her name. Leah had been doing it to no avail.

She hurried to the school bell and began ringing it. One by one, the children returned from the wooded area and fields next to the school. As the last one came in, Leah noticed a pony cart coming down the road. She recognized her sister. A moment later, she realized Rhonda wasn’t alone. Joy sat beside her.

Leah screamed to Caleb, “We found her.”

He ran to her side. “Where is she?”

Leah pointed toward the road. “She is with my sister.”

Rhonda turned her pony into the schoolyard and stopped. Caleb snatched Joy off the seat and held her tight. “Thank God you are safe.”

“Daddy, you are squishing me.”

He dropped to one knee and set her on her feet in front of him. “You have to stop scaring me like this. Why did you run away?”

“I didn’t run away. I went to David’s house to meet my
aenti
and to see his pony. Can I have a pony, please? I’ll take good care of it.”

Leah knelt beside them. “Joy, you can’t leave school without permission.”

“I can’t? Why not?”

“Because that is the rule,” Leah said.

“That’s just silly.”

Caleb stood and looked down at her. “It is not silly. It is the rule. And you are never again to leave without permission. Do you understand?

Her lower lip stuck out. “Yes, Daddy.”

Caleb offered his hand to Leah and helped her to her feet. He turned to Rhonda. “Thank you for the care you have shown my daughter.”

She looked away. Without a word, she turned the pony and drove away. Wayne went inside the school and returned a moment later with David. “Get in the buggy,
sohn.
”

Joy waved at David. “I like your pony.”

Leah met Caleb’s glance. “Why don’t you take Joy home, too? I’m letting school out early. I think we have all had enough excitement for one day.”

“But what about the bird treats we were going to make?” Joy asked.

Leah smiled at her. “We will make them first thing tomorrow morning. How will that be?”

“Goot!”
she shouted.

Caleb gave his daughter a small push toward the school. “Go get your things.”

As she ran up the steps, Leah turned to Caleb. “I am so sorry that this happened. Please forgive me.”

He drew her close and wrapped his arms around her. “There is nothing to forgive. I have the feeling that life with Joy is always going to be an adventure. I just thank God that she is okay.”

Leah knew she should move out of his embrace, but nothing had ever felt so right or so comforting. “I shouldn’t have let it happen. I should’ve kept a closer eye on her.” She pressed her face against his neck.

He cupped her cheek with his hand. “You were as frightened as I was. I see how much you care for my child. I hope you know how much she cares for you. Almost as much as I do.”

Leah raised her face and looked into his eyes. They were filled with tenderness. She knew that he was going to kiss her. She knew she should stop him, but she didn’t.

The gentle touch of his lips sent a thrill straight through her. The moment was everything she had dreamed it would be and more. Her heart skipped a beat and soared with happiness.

He drew away suddenly. “I have wanted to do that for a very long time.”

She stepped out of his arms as reality brought her crashing back to earth. She hoped none of her students had been watching. “It doesn’t change things. You know that.”

“It does for me. You are making a hard decision much easier. Bless you, Leah, you are a rare treasure.”

The schoolhouse door opened and Joy came out with her lunch box and the paper she had finished that day.

“Look what I did,
Daed.
I want to show
Mammi
I got 100 on my math paper.”

“That’s great, honey. Say goodbye to your teacher, and let’s go home.”

As they walked away, Leah realized she had been wrong. The kiss did change things. She could never look at him again without remembering it. It was a memory she would hold close to her heart.

* * *

“You look happy today, teacher.”

Leah realized she was grinning foolishly and schooled her expression into something more appropriate for the classroom. Anna, Emmy, David and Kyle were gathered in front of her desk. “I’m happy because Christmas is almost here.”

And because Caleb Mast had kissed her yesterday.

It had been all too brief, but that hadn’t detracted from its impact. She started smiling again just thinking about the tender way his lips brushed hers. She would remember forever the sweetness of the moment.

Anna said, “Christmas is what we wanted to talk to you about. Actually, about our Christmas program.”

“What about our program?” The rehearsal had gone quite well. Only one child had forgotten his lines.

“Joy doesn’t have a part in it,” Kyle said.

Everyone but Joy had remained after school for the rehearsal. She had gone home with her father after having an entire day that was crisis-free.

Leah frowned slightly. “Joy started school so late that I didn’t think she would have time to learn our songs or a part in the play or the skits you children are putting on. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I thought it would be best if she watched the program with her family this year. I promise that next year we will include her.”

Anna looked at her friends and then said, “We have written a play for her. I know that it’s your job to choose the songs and plays, but maybe this once we could do one?”

What wonderful children they were for wanting to include Joy. “I’m pleased that you have thought of this. But the programs have already been printed.”

“Couldn’t you just announce that we have added one more play?” Anna handed Leah a piece of paper.

Leah opened it and read the short play. She looked at the children standing in front of her as her heart swelled with happiness. “Are you sure you want to try this?”

They all nodded vigorously.

“All right. I will talk to Joy’s father and grandmother and find out if they can help her learn her part.”

“
Danki,
teacher. We will help her, too,” Kyle said. He knew how hard it was to be an outsider coming into a small Amish community. It was generous of him to help make Joy’s transition easier.

The children finished straightening up the desks and went home. Leah stayed behind to finish her own work. Picking up an eraser, she began to clean the blackboard. Now that she was alone, she was free to think about “the kiss” and what it might mean for her if Caleb stayed and joined the church.

Laying down the eraser, she picked up a piece of chalk and wrote
Caleb Mast
in large letters across the board. Then beneath it she added
Mrs. Caleb Mast,
then
Mr. and Mrs. Caleb Mast.

She stared at the board and started to giggle. She wasn’t any better than the boy-crazy girls in her eighth-grade class. The possibility of marriage and family made Leah’s heart sing, but she was a practical woman, not a teenage girl. One kiss did not mean a lifetime together.

Caleb hadn’t said anything about love or marriage. Although he was considering returning to the Amish way of life, he had not yet made that commitment. A kiss was just a kiss without it. But if he chose not to stay, her heart would break in a million pieces.

On Saturday, she would spend the day with her sister and her family. While Caleb had made strides in repairing his relationship with his parents, he hadn’t made any progress in gaining her sister’s forgiveness. Although Caleb was a touchy subject, Leah hoped that she could find a way to help Rhonda accept, if not welcome, his return to the community.

She stared at the blackboard and sighed. She was letting her foolish heart put the cart before the horse. She picked up the eraser again and wiped away her daydreams.

* * *

If the new mayor’s goal was to bring people to Hope Springs for the Christmas parade, the plan was a whopping success. Caleb held Joy’s hand as they made their way along Main Street. His parents walked behind them. The parade wasn’t due to start for another half hour, but already there were crowds of people seated on lawn chairs lining the street. The mix was equally Amish and non-Amish. There were sheriff’s deputies and town police officers directing traffic away from Main Street to keep it open for the parade vehicles. Caleb had left their buggy at the parking lot next to the Wadler Inn, near the edge of town.

“Where are we going to sit, Daddy?” Joy tried to see around the people in front of them.

He was searching the crowd for Leah, but he hadn’t seen her or his brother. He looked over his shoulder. “Where do you think,
Daed?
”

“Down by the park. There is more space and we will be able to see more than just this narrow street.”

“The park it is.” Caleb moved ahead quickly. If Leah was here, he wanted to see her. He didn’t have to speak to her, although he would like that very much. But just to see her would be enough today.

It was hard to stop thinking about her. About the kiss they had shared. Did she regret it? Had he embarrassed her? Would she let him kiss her again? They were questions he was afraid to ask. He knew if they saw each other, he would read the answers on her face.

His father was right. People were more spread out along the edge of the park. A number of children were making good use of the playground. He and his father set out their canvas folding chairs while his mother unpacked food from a small basket. As soon as they were settled, she handed out whoopee pies and bottled drinks.

Caleb was amazed at the number of people who stopped to say hello and to meet Joy. He had dressed Plain that day, with the dark coat, dark pants and black wide-brimmed hat borrowed from his father. They had been sitting for about ten minutes when Joy suddenly bolted out of her chair and ran toward an English family. He rushed after her as she grabbed a little girl about her own age and squealed with glee.

“I’m sorry,” he said to the startled father.

“Look, Daddy. She’s just like me.”

It was then Caleb realized the other child also had Down syndrome. Her father extended his hand. “I see you are blessed with a special child, too. Aren’t they amazing children?”

“Yes. I hope she didn’t frighten your daughter. She doesn’t normally grab people. Joy, let her go, honey.”

“Melissa hugs everyone. I’m Gerard Franks. Do you live in the area?”

“Joy and I recently moved to Hope Springs. I’m Caleb Mast.”

“Nice to meet you. We live near Millersburg. Not too far away. Maybe we can get together for a playdate with our girls one of these days.”

“I think Joy would like that.”

Gerard pulled out a business card. “I’m the treasurer of the local Down syndrome support group. We meet once a month so that our families can get together and enjoy each other’s company.”