Amish Christmas Joy (5 page)

“A slice of your fresh bread with butter.”

“
Kaffi,
too?”

“Ja.”

As his mother went to the counter and began cutting a loaf of bread, Caleb rounded the table and pulled out the chair on his father’s right-hand side.

He had almost forgotten how fully Amish traditions permeated every aspect of life. His father sat at the head of the table, with his wife on his left. Sons sat on his right-hand side, from youngest to oldest down the table; daughters sat beside their mother in the same fashion. Caleb knew without a doubt that his chair had been empty since he left home. An empty chair was a pointed reminder to everyone about who was missing.

“Bread and butter will be fine for me, too,
Mamm,
but no coffee.”

“Lemonade, then?”

“Sure.” She wouldn’t be satisfied until she had made a special effort to please him. If he let her, she would cook a feast. It was late, but he knew that tomorrow mounds of food would be set in front of him. Cooking was his mother’s way of showing her love.

She soon had thick slices of fresh baked bread slathered with peanut-butter spread for Joy, and butter for him and his father. She gave Ike his coffee and Joy a mug of milk, then she set two glasses of lemonade on the table. Still smiling, she took a seat beside Joy.

Her hand shook slightly as she tucked a strand of Joy’s hair behind her ear. “I have wanted a granddaughter for a very long time. I am so happy that
Gott
brought you to us.”

Joy gave her a beaming peanut-butter-smeared smile. “Daddy said you would like me. I like you, too. I had another
mammi.
I called her Nana. She went to heaven.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You must miss her. She is with
Gott
now, so we must be happy for her.”

“Who is
Gott?
” Joy asked around a mouthful of bread.

“God,” Caleb translated.

“Tomorrow, you can tell me all about her. It’s getting late. It’s time for a little one like you to be in bed,” Maggie said.

“Can I sleep here?”

Maggie nodded. “I have a room upstairs that’s just for you. Finish your bread and your milk. I will show you the way.”

Caleb rose from his place and headed for the door. “I’ll get our suitcases.”

Outside, he paused to watch his breath fog in the cold evening air. He missed the warmth of the Gulf breezes. He’d forgotten how hard the cold could bite his face and make his eyes water. How long would he have to stay? How soon would Joy adjust to life among the Amish? Would she adjust? Was he expecting too much? Even with Leah to help guide her, it was going to be a difficult transition.

Hunching against the cold, he hurried down the steps and gathered enough of their things to make it through the night. Tomorrow would be soon enough to unpack the rest.

He unplugged his cell phone from the car charger and put it in his pocket. His truck battery would be the only source of electricity for keeping his phone charged while he stayed on the farm. His parents wouldn’t like the fact that he was bringing a phone into their home, but he needed it to maintain contact with his attorney.

Back in the house, he saw his mother had already taken Joy from the room. His father was sitting quietly at the table. A troubled frown marred his brow. “I’m afraid to ask because I think I know the answer, but I must hear it from you. Are you here to stay,
sohn?
”

“
Nee, Daed.
Only for a while.”

“It breaks your mother’s heart to see your place at the table empty.”

“Perhaps having Joy here will ease some of her pain.”

“Your child cannot heal what is broken in this family.”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t stay.”

“We have forgiven you. Rhonda has forgiven you. Wayne will forgive you in time.”

“That would be nice if there was anything to forgive. I’m not the father of Rhonda’s child. I don’t know who is, but it isn’t me.”

“Why would Rhonda maintain such a lie?”

“I wish I knew. I wish that you believed me.”

His father’s frown deepened. “You come to my door with another child born out of wedlock and ask that I believe you are innocent?”

“I knew there’d be no point going through this again. Look, Joy needs a stable family life. She hasn’t had that. I can’t give it to her. I’m hoping you can. I know it’s asking a lot, but will you consider raising her?”

His father was silent so long that Caleb started to think the whole trip had been for nothing.

“You think her life will be better, will be happier, with us but without you, her father?”

Leah had asked him the same thing. “I hope so.”

“Where is the child’s mother now?”

“I have no idea. She went out to smoke a cigarette and never came back. I turned the city upside down looking for her.”

“Then you understand a little of what we felt when you left.”

Facing the truth was hard. Caleb saw his actions in a different light now. “I admit I didn’t go about leaving in the best way, but I felt it was my only option.”

Ike banged his hand on the table. “Running away from a problem never fixes it.”

“Some problems can’t be fixed!” Caleb struggled to control his temper. This was his father. Ike deserved respect.

“Can’t I leave you two alone for ten minutes without an argument starting?” Caleb’s mother asked from the doorway.

“It wasn’t an argument,” Ike said gruffly.

She gave him a sympathetic look. “We all need a good night’s sleep. In the morning, things will look different.”

No, they wouldn’t, but Caleb didn’t say that. Ike rose from the table and went through the door that led to their living room and their bedroom beyond.

Maggie came and stood in front of Caleb. “I am so pleased that you are here. I’m glad, too, that you have brought this child with you.”

“I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t come back to make trouble.”

She laid a hand on his cheek. “All of life is made up of bits of happiness and bits of trouble. In between, there is prayer and hard work and if we are blessed, sometimes wondrous joy. This is the way of the world.”

“All struggle and no reward,” he said dryly.

“Our rewards come in God’s own time. You need rest. I see how weary you are. I made up the bed in your old room. Joy is waiting for her nightclothes in the bedroom over the kitchen.”

“Thanks.” Without central heat, the room over the kitchen was always the warmest one on the second story. He picked up their bags and started toward the stairs.

“Caleb?”

He glanced over his shoulder, waiting for his mother to say more. She hesitated, then said, “Don’t be too hard on your father. He doesn’t know how to bend without breaking. The two of you are more alike than you think.”

He nodded. “I was wrong not to keep in touch. A card once a year wasn’t enough, was it?”

Tears filled her eyes. “It wasn’t enough, but it gave me joy every Christmas to know that you were all right and thinking of me.”

“I’ll do better in the future. I promise.”

A frown creased her brow. “You will not be staying?”

He heard the pain in her voice, but she deserved the truth. “Only for a while.”

Tears filled her eyes. She dabbed at them with the corner of her apron. The last thing Caleb wanted was to upset her. “I’m sorry. I came because I want the two of you to raise Joy. I know what I’m asking won’t be easy. I will help financially, so you don’t have to worry about that. I have a good job, but it takes me away from home a lot. I may even be leaving the country soon.”

Maggie shook her head. “It is not about the money.”

“I know that. Will you consider my request?”

“How long can you say?”

He noticed she hadn’t given him an answer. She wouldn’t. It would be his father’s decision.

“Until I’m certain that this is the right move for Joy.”

She came and cupped his face between her hands. “Then I will treasure every minute and pray you have a change of heart.”

“That’s not likely.”

“
Ach,
but it is not impossible.
Gott
may yet answer my prayers.”

Chapter Five

E
arly the following morning, Caleb dressed quickly in his room, having slept better than he had in years. There was something comforting about huddling under a mound of quilts in a chilly room. However, getting dressed in the cold was a good reminder of why he liked living in the South. He might need to invest in a couple pairs of long johns. Joy would need some for sure.

He checked on her and found her bed empty. He rushed downstairs in a panic. Thankfully, she was seated at the kitchen table, enjoying scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits and fried potatoes. The aroma of his mother’s cooking made his mouth water and his stomach rumble.

Mamm
came in from the other room. “Ah,
goot,
you are up. I must go into town and get some fabric for Joy’s new dresses. I’d best hurry if I’m to get there and back in time to fix your
daed
his lunch. There is a plate in the
offa
for you.”

“That means oven,” Joy said with a grin. She had a streak of his mother’s homemade apple butter smeared on her cheek.

He winked at her.
“Mien meiya eems es in da offa.”

Her eyes widened. “You speak Pennsylvania Dutch?”

“Pretty
goot, ja?
”

“What did you say?” she demanded.

“I said, ‘My morning meal is in the oven.’”

“That is...way cool.”

He had finally impressed his eight-year-old daughter. The morning was looking up.

His mother moved to stand behind Joy. She stroked her hair with a look of tenderness in her eyes. “Finish your breakfast. Your
daed
can teach you many words while he shows you around the farm today.”

“Okay.” Joy started forking eggs in her mouth. It was the first time he’d seen his child relaxed in weeks. His mother and her comfort food had that effect on people. It was exactly what he wanted for Joy.

Caleb used a hot pad to pull his heaping plate from the oven. After he finished his breakfast, he made sure Joy was well bundled up in a new coat, snow boots and mittens they had purchased on their way north. Together, they set off along the same path he had used countless times when he walked to school. It felt familiar and strange. Joy ran in front of him, kicking up clouds of powdery fresh snow that had fallen in the night.

As they got deeper into the woods, she drew close to him and took his hand. “I don’t think I like this place.”

“You don’t like the woods?” He tried to see their surroundings through the eyes of a child who had grown up in a run-down trailer park on the outskirts of Houston. The two places were worlds apart. Trees pressed in around them. The bare branches creaked and clacked in the cold breeze.

“I think something might get us,” she whispered, her hesitant voice wobbled with fear.

“I walked through these woods every day from the time I was your age until I was grown. I never saw anything that could get me. Shall we check and see who else has walked along this path?”

“How can we do that?”

“Everyone who walked this way or crossed this path has left their signature in the snow. Turn around and look where we’ve walked. What do you see?”

She stopped and looked back. “I see our footprints.”

“That’s right. Now look in front of us. What do you see?”

She scanned the area. “I see funny marks in the snow.”

“Let’s take a closer look.” He crouched beside the dots that crossed the path in front of them.

She imitated his position and propped her chin on her hand. He almost laughed at her serious expression but quickly controlled himself. It was important that she learn to be at home in the outdoors. “If you look closely, you’ll see two tiny paw marks in the snow and two drag marks behind it.”

She looked up at him. “Are they puppy tracks?”

“That’s a good guess. Puppies have little feet, but this was made by someone who hops along.”

Her eyes grew round. “A rabbit?”

“That’s right.”

She jumped up and rushed toward the edge of the path. “Can I see it?”

He caught her by the shoulder. “Whoa. We might see a rabbit later, but we can’t follow him. We have to stick to the path.”

“Why?”

“Because rushing into the woods without knowing your way around is how you get lost. You must never do that. Let’s keep walking and see who else has shared our path.”

She gazed longingly toward the rabbit tracks but allowed herself to be led away. After a few dozen yards, she pointed ahead of them. “I see more tracks, Daddy. Who made those?”

“Those were made by a big deer. Can you see how they are split in two and pointed?”

She ran ahead of him and stopped, pointing at her feet. “Who made these?”

“That’s the footprints of a raccoon. See how the paw marks are like little handprints? Mr. Raccoon has hands a lot like you and I for gripping things. He has a face like a bandit with a black mask around his eyes and a short snout with sharp little teeth.”

She took a step back and pulled her hands to her chin. “Does he bite?”

“He would bite you if you tried to pick him up. If you let him mind his business, he will let you mind yours and everyone will stay happy.”

“Did you walk to school by yourself? Grandpa says I’ll have to learn to walk to school by myself. When I’m grown up I can drive a buggy.”

So his father was considering letting Joy live with them. “You won’t have to go by yourself until you feel good about doing it. I didn’t walk alone. I walked with my brother until he got too old for school.”

“Uncle Wayne? I don’t like him.”

His first impulse was to say that he didn’t like Wayne, either, but he held his tongue. He loved his brother. He didn’t like the way things had turned out between them. Joy was going to be living here. She would have to learn to get along with everyone in the family.

“Your uncle Wayne can seem gruff, but he is a good man. I think you will come to like him in time. His little boy is almost the same age as you.”

They heard the sound of crashing in the underbrush. Joy threw her arms around his leg and held on tight. “What’s that?”

They had their answer as a black-and-white dog bounded out of the woods and came loping toward them. Caleb’s heart gave a glad leap when he thought it was Trixie, but he quickly saw he was mistaken. This dog shared similar markings but was taller and heavier with more brown on his legs.

“Duncan won’t hurt you.” They both turned as Leah walked up beside them.

Caleb hadn’t forgotten that she and Rhonda used to take the same shortcut through the woods on their way to school. Had he subconsciously come this way in the hopes of meeting her? Maybe.

In any case, he was pleased to see her again. Very pleased.

“Leah!” Joy shouted and waved.

“Hello.” She smiled brightly at his child.

The tug of attraction was strong, but it was foolish to dwell on it. He’d be leaving in a few weeks. Still, something about her made the morning brighter. If things had been different, if they had met in another time and another place, he would have followed the urge to know her better, but she wasn’t for him.

To her, he was an outsider. The man who’d dishonored and abandoned her sister. He should be thankful she had taken an interest in helping Joy.

“I’m so happy to see you.” Joy ran to her and wrapped her arms around Leah’s legs. Duncan joined the game and jumped up, too. The impact of the child and the big dog together knocked the teacher off balance. Caleb lunged forward to catch her.

Leah staggered into Caleb. His strong arms closed around her and kept her upright, saving her from a tumble in the snow.

She looked up and saw a slow smile curve his lips. Her heart skittered wildly for an instant before she remembered who was holding her. Struggling to regain her composure, she moved away from him.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you this morning.” Her voice sounded breathless. She stopped talking and pressed her lips together.

Caleb thrust his hands in his coat pockets. “Joy and I are exploring. So this is the proud papa.” He bent to scratch Duncan behind one ear.

“He showed up outside my door today. I guess he knew something was up.”

“Did he like Pickles?” Joy asked.

“
Ja
. He looked over the litter, and I think he liked Pickles a lot. Trixie normally walks with me to school in the mornings, but she’s too busy with her puppies. Duncan occasionally joins us.”

Joy was still hanging on to her leg. “Does he bite?”

“Never,” Leah assured her in all seriousness. “Duncan, sit.”

The dog promptly sat. “Now shake hands with Joy.”

He raised his paw. Joy let go of Leah’s leg and tentatively shook the dog’s front paw. Duncan added a quick lick to Joy’s fingers, making her squeal.

“Did you see that, Daddy? He kissed my hand.”

“I saw. He’s a very polite pooch.”

“It was nice seeing you again, Joy. I must be going. The teacher can’t be late to school. Come, Duncan.” There was always plenty to be done before her students arrived.

“I thought I would show Joy the way to the school. Mind if we walk with you?” Caleb waited for her reply, watching her intently.

“Of course not.” She had to be polite, didn’t she?

“Duncan’s owner must not live far away,” Caleb said.

“He belongs to Carl King. He works for Joseph Shetler on his sheep farm just over the next hill.”

“I remember Woolly Joe, but I don’t remember a man named King.”

“Carl is a newcomer. He has
Englisch
ways, but some people wonder if he isn’t ex-Amish from another place. He and Woolly Joe keep to themselves. I think Duncan enjoys visiting the school for a dose of company.”

Joy, more confident now, ran ahead a little ways with the dog dancing at her heels. The path was wide enough for a few hundred yards, but it narrowed, forcing Leah and Caleb closer together. The bare branches of the trees laced together overhead and gave Leah the feeling of being sheltered. Snow crunched under their boots. Occasional clumps of it fell from the trees and scattered in the breeze, leaving sparkling showers in their wake. It was a beautiful morning. Caleb walked close beside her in silence.

She glanced at him and wondered what he was thinking. His gaze was on Joy and the dog. A sweet smile curved his lips. It would be good for both of them if he changed his mind and stayed, even if he didn’t give up his
Englisch
ways. Could Leah help him see that?

Joy stopped and pointed to the ground. “I see more rabbit tracks.”

He squatted beside her. “You’re right. A rabbit went this way not long ago. Keep your eyes peeled for more tracks.”

Joy patted Duncan’s head and grinned at Leah. “Daddy is teaching me about animal tracks. This is a rabbit track, and I know a raccoon track and people tracks and now I know dog tracks. Duncan is making big tracks in the snow.”

The dog had his nose down investigating the new trail. After a few seconds, he took off at a trot back the way they had come.

Joy frowned. “Where’s he going?”

“Home, I reckon,” Leah said.

Joy’s frown turned into a pout. “I wish he would stay with me. I miss him.”

Caleb lifted her chin so she would look at him. “He has work to do. If you ask Leah very nicely, she might let you visit Trixie and her puppies again after school one of these days.”

Joy’s beaming smile returned. “Could I? Please?”

“I’d like that,” Leah replied and spared a sidelong glance at Caleb. He wasn’t as she had imagined him all these years. He wasn’t indifferent to his child or harsh. She had pictured him living in a perpetual
rumspringa,
doing all that was forbidden to the Amish, drinking, going to parties and movies and driving fast cars.

What had his life been like? And why did it matter? If only she could quell her curiosity about him. As they kept walking, she tried, but it seemed that she couldn’t give up the need to know more. She finally blurted out, “What kind of work do you do in Texas?”

He seemed surprised by her question. She was a little surprised herself at her boldness.

“I’m a roughneck. I work on oil rigs, mostly off-shore rigs. The pay is better.”

“Out in the ocean?” Her secret dream had always been to travel. To see the mountains and the oceans, to view and admire God’s handiwork beyond the hills and fields of her small community.

“Yes, out in the ocean or rather in the Gulf of Mexico.”

“Was it wonderful? Was it frightening?”

“Mostly it was noisy, hard work for very long hours. At times, it could be too beautiful for words. Then again, during some bad storms, I only wanted to get my feet back on dry land.”

“To look upon the ocean must be a wondrous thing.” She couldn’t help the longing that slipped into her tone.

“You should go.”